Twilight Gardens

"Honestly, Malfoy," growled Goyle, "what are you doing slamming doors at this time of night?"

"It serves you right for staying up this late," Severus scolded.

"I wasn't up until you slammed the door!" Goyle exclaimed angrily.

"We wouldn't have slammed it if you hadn't been awake," said Severus.

Goyle squinted as he attempted to understand what had been said to him, "Fine. I'll go back to sleep if you'll stop being so loud."

"It's deal," Lucius nodded, trying like hell to repress his laughter. Severus turned on his heel and giggled quietly as Goyle rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.

Lucius and Severus crawled onto the bed of the latter. After a sound-proofing charm was cast, Lucius smiled, "He's even thicker when he's tired. I hadn't thought that level of stupidity was possible."

Severus smiled in agreement but he added, "Even so, it never would have happened if you hadn't slammed the door."

"So what?" Lucius shrugged. He brushed his lips against Severus' neck and and purred, "We still ended up right where we wanted to be."

The tickle of Lucius' lips at his earlobe made Severus shiver. Hours of wet kisses let them slide unwillingly into slumber. Sometime before the school awoke, Lucius rose from Severus' bed to use the bathroom and had the good sense to return to his own bed.

The day's lessons proceeded without incident. Though they would have loved to spend the evening doing other activities, Lucius and Severus were forced to spend their time in the library researching an Herbology assignment. The magical plant they had been assigned was called the Midnight Rose. Severus had seen mention of it in obscure potions manuals but he knew little of its properties. As usual, Lucius hadn't much interest in research or note-taking, so the task fell upon Severus to complete. He didn't mind so much, as he was content with Lucius' amorous whisperings in his ear as he jotted onto the crisp parchment.

His notes read:

~The Midnight Rose~

"It's odd, isn't it?" Lucius said as his eyes skimmed over the markings of ink made by Severus' quill.

Lucius' voice summoned Severus out of the stupor of note-taking and he looked up with a jolt, "What? What's odd?"

"The potions those roses make, I mean," Lucius answered. "That they just cancel each other out like that when they come into contact with each other. Why do they do that?"

"Well, since they are of equal potency, neither potion could ever possibly overtake the other. It's like in chess if two people of equal skill find that there's no way either will be able to beat the other anytime soon, then they call it a draw and end the game. That's how it is with these potions. Neither can win, so both become useless as tap water."

"That's pretty wimpy -- even for a flower," Lucius shook his head.

Severus only shrugged and returned to his notes. Though he did not consider himself a defeatist, Severus didn't entirely agree with Lucius. Years of observing his family's petty squabbles had taught him that even if a battle seems important, it is usually pointless in the end. No one ever fully wins any heated quarrel because each combatant loses a piece of his dignity to the futility of the act of fighting. The fact remained that Severus could think of nothing for which he would willing to fight wholeheartedly.

Lucius smiled silently and and then he said, "Do you want me to write those notes in good copy?"

"Err . . . all right."

In all the many years they knew each other, Severus never failed to be caught off guard by Lucius' brashness. Well into their adult years, the manner in which Lucius responded to his own wicked or heartless acts still gave Severus a surprise. Forever flippant, Lucius would only smile smugly, regardless of what damage he had wrought. Surely, he knew no better for there was a definite coldness in his soul as well as in Severus'. Their souls, however frozen, were distinctly different in their coldness. Severus' soul permeated with arctic winds and glazed over with gentle frost. Lucius' soul was harder and more frigid, encapsulated by solid ice and anchored by a thick, impenetrable layer of permafrost. Lucius' pain had become as cold and grey as his eyes. Not as visible was Severus' suffering. Hidden from all except Lucius, his despair disguised itself as black ice not unlike his eyes.

When summer returned after the final exams of their fifth year Lucius and Severus were elated. They had been given permission for Severus to stay at Lucius' mansion for the holidays. Neither of the boys' families had any reason not to affirm the the arrangement. Severus' family rarely acknowledged his presence, so it made no difference to them where he was. Lucius' father spent most of his time out of the country, so the decision affected him little. As for Lucius' mother, she tended to keep to herself most of the time. The exams flew by on the wings of eagerness for Lucius and Severus.

Upon their arrival at Malfoy Manor, a blustery little house elf appeared and showed Severus to his room. The guest room was vast and gorgeously decorated as were the rest in the mansion. Despite the hospitality of the bedroom he had been given for the summer, Severus found Lucius' inviting caresses to be much more appealing. Needless to say, Severus stayed in the guest room only long enough to unpack a few of his possessions and then he dashed off in search of Lucius.

The rest of the summer was spent in similar fashion. The Old Man was seen once and only briefly. Lucius' mother was nearly invisible as well, showing herself occasionally on the terrace when the morning was particularly breath-taking. She would sit on one of the white, wicker chairs with a cup of tea steaming before her. She addressed her son with formality and sterility and she seemed to prefer to not acknowledge him at all.

At night, Lucius and Severus made use of the Neo-Roman bath in the backyard of the estate. The water had been charmed to perpetually remain at a desirable temperature. The bath was surrounded by a pulchritude of flora. On a starry night, the boys were sitting in the water nude when Lucius encircled Severus with his arms and said, "What makes you feel hallow?"

Severus blinked, "Huh?"

"At the beginning of the year when I told you I felt hollow you said you understood what I meant," explained Lucius. "What makes you understand?"

Lucius was speaking gently and sincerely. Clearly, this wasn't meant as a venomous interrogation. Still, Severus flinched before he answered, "I'm not sure. I've felt this way for so long, it's hard to say what started it."

"Well," Lucius said thoughtfully, "if you could get rid of the thing that makes you hollow, what would that thing be?"

Giving the abstract question some serious consideration, Severus replied slowly, "I don't even know that it is a thing. I think it's more about the way I look at things. I look at the others at school and I think that they will never be anything more than what they are. The Hufflepuffs will always be Hufflepuffs, the Ravenclaws will always be Ravenclaws, the Gryffindors will always be Gryffindors."

Lucius raised his eyebrows, "Of course they will. We will always be Slytherins. It's what we are. It's what we are destined to be. What's wrong with that?"

"It seems too simplified," Severus said, gaining more confidence in his words. "How is it that people are so easy to define? How can there be only four types of witches and wizards? More importantly, how can a witch or wizard's category be determined at such a young age? Isn't it possible that one can change after age eleven? Does one's inner evolution not continue long past that stage?

"But no. No, it doesn't continue after the Sorting Ceremony because once you have that label put on you, that's it -- it's on you forever. You can never escape your House affiliation and you must always be conscious of your duty to live up to your House's stereotypes because if you don't, you will never be accepted."

For a moment or two, Lucius didn't know what to say. He had never heard of such things in his life. He scowled, "Are you saying you want to switch Houses?"

"No," Severus said sharply. "I'm saying I could do without a House altogether."

"How can you say that?" Lucius cried in disbelief. "Without a House, there would be no sense of belonging, no identity!"

"There would be no identity but there would be individuality," said Severus. "We could be seen as unique people rather than Slytherins. Doesn't it seem odd that we can be defined by one word? Are we not more complex than that?'

"I'm proud to call myself a Slytherin," Lucius declared. "It is my title and my notoriety."

"We are all doomed," muttered Severus. "Each and every one of us have not the smallest chance. I don't know how I have come to this conclusion but I know that every child sorted into Slytherin from our year onward will die for their green and silver. It won't be their fault, what they do, because that's just how they were Sorted. But no one will see that. No one will weep for these doomed children.

"I wear the green and silver and I wear them with pride. That pride is only because I wear the same colours as you do. Whatever you shall suffer, I shall suffer. Whenever you shall die, I shall die."

"I don't entirely understand all that you are saying," Lucius admitted. "But that last bit is easily translated. Why will you do that for me?"

"I love you," Severus said without any hesitation.

Lucius' icy eyes seemed to melt into glistening tears for a second but they disappeared as suddenly as they had arrived. The truth was that he couldn't remember anyone ever uttering those words to him and he was unsure as to how he should respond. If his memory served him, neither of his parents had ever said that to him. In desperation, he simply spoke honestly, "I love you too."

Severus smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

It was close to their graduation that Lucius first told Severus of the rumours he had heard on a visit to Knockturn Alley. He had heard whispers of some sort of club exclusively for purebloods. It sounded like a club for Slytherin alumni. Enthused, Lucius related what he had heard to the other seventh-year Slytherins after he returned from Easter holidays.

"They say there is a great and powerful Dark Lord, whose abilities exceed those of Dumbledore," Lucius told his wide-eyed listeners. "This Dark Lord has even conquered death and will bestow upon all of his followers immortality. Of course, only purebloods like ourselves are worthy of such a divine prize."

"Once his followers are immortal," Narcissa wondered aloud, "do they continue to age or do they stay young and pretty forever?"

"How the hell should I know?" snapped Lucius, thinking this was quite a stupid question and very typical of his cousin.

Narcissa narrowed her eyes in umbrage and rose from her seat, "Well, I, for one, know I will be much too busy after graduation to be joining any silly clubs."

The rest of the Slytherins were rather interested in Lucius' story and begged to know how they could join as a follower of this Dark Lord. Severus was characteristically quiet. He looked more troubled than usual but amidst all the curious conversation in the common room, only Lucius noticed. Lucius wanted to rush to his beloved's side and ask what was bothering him but his audience wouldn't allow the question period to cease.

"How exactly do we join?" pressed Lestrange.

"I don't know exactly," answered Lucius. "I heard that any wishing to swear their fidelity to the Dark Lord must be at Knockturn Alley on the third evening of July."

"What are we supposed to do there?" Macnair inquired. "Just hang around?"

Again, Lucius said, "I don't know. I'm just telling you what I heard. Maybe there will be a sign or something."

"Well, I think we'll all be there," Crabbe confirmed.

"Perhaps not all of us," Goyle looked in Severus' direction. "What about you, Snape? You've been really silent throughout this whole discussion -- even for you."

"No, I will be there with all of you," Severus said, barely moving his lips. I'm as doomed as all of you.

It was a sign that drew the Slytherins to the Dark Lord -- glowing, green sign, which appeared over a small structure at the end of Knockturn Alley. Bearing the unmistakable symbol of the serpent, it was as far from Diagon Alley as anything could be in the magical part of London. The crowd was easily won over by Lord Voldemort and immediately submitted to the branding of the Dark Mark, which the Dark Lord said would bind them to him forever. Lucius reveled in the fiery brand, taking as much pride -- if not more -- in the Dark Mark as he had taken in his green-and-silver scarf and tie when he attended Hogwarts. Severus examined his own Mark solemnly, tracing his finger along the emerald flames.

As in the recent summers, Severus was staying with Lucius at Malfoy Manor. When the two returned to the mansion only hours before dawn after the meeting at Knockturn Alley Lucius smiled at Severus happily, "We are all brothers now and Lord Voldemort is our father. Our pureblood unites us and we will triumph together!"

Lucius' exclamations frightened Severus a great deal. Though he thought Lucius sounded delirious and even a little maniacal, he remained loyally wordless and merely tilted his head.

Lucius continued, "And to think you were predicting our doom two years ago! Honestly, whatever made you think of that rubbish? Were you just trying to curse us all?"

"I haven't cursed us all," said Severus gravely. "History has cursed us. Our own wicked minds have cursed us. The universe itself has cursed us."

Lucius gazed adoringly at the brand on his forearm, "How can you say that when you have jsut sworn allegiance to the one who can grant you eternal life? We aren't doomed -- we're immortal."

Seeing Lucius on such a high over what was certainly the settling of hopelessness, shrouded Severus heart with despair. He knew he was all but useless -- no amount of sweet-voiced pleas could change what had been fated to occur along. Lucius continued to buzz about the room like mad fly, "How precisely did you receive this premonition, my love? Since when do you have the insight of an oracle?"

"I do not claim to have an oracle's insight," Severus answered, in spite of himself. "This premonition is not really a premonition but a fact I have known for years. You have always been my only friend, Lucius, and I have spent much of my life alone, just watching. I have watched everything. All logical calculations of everything point to the damnation of all Slytherins."

"Logical?" hissed Lucius. "When have those morbuid ramblings of yours ever had any semblance of logic? It makes no sense. You're worried about nothing and it's driving you crazy."

This was a hurtful thing for Severus to hear from Lucius. As fast as he could, he hardened the pain in his chest to indifference and said, "If you don't mind, Lucius, I'd like to get some sleep now."