Faded

His steps echoed throughout the dimly lit hallway. The entire place smelled scrubbed and disinfected.

Everywhere he looked there was the color of white.

Pure, clean and innocent. That was white. But now it didn't seem so friendly.

He hated it.

He was absorbed in his own thoughts. In his own misery. The place was depressing.

He would never have come here. If it weren't for someone. If it weren't for that someone.

The walls were painted in a light yellow shade.

A happy color for a dreary place.

He heard the streaks of wheels on the floor and the constant banter of the people around him.

He approached a woman behind the counter. He stood for a moment.

"Excuse me, could you please direct me to the room where -" His voice was drowned by a scream.

But the woman heard what he had asked. She pointed a finger to the left.

"That's a floor up young man. Room 214, second door on the right. You won't miss it," she said in a friendly manner.

"Thank you," he said stiffly.

The woman stared at his back as he disappeared down the corridor."What a queer young man."

He continued his walk in silence as he approached a staircase.

So much was lost. But so much was gained before it happened. His brain was buzzing in a weird sort of way.

Things had never been the same since it happened.

When he got wind of the news from a friend, he was crushed. He couldn't believe it had happened.

It seemed that four months was too much.

He took a step and began to trudge all the way up the staircase. Lightning flashed outside.

He stared outside the window for awhile.

Lightning flashed again. A memory seemed to conjure up in his mind. He blinked. It was still so clear...

~*~

Lightning flashed then thunder cracked across the sky.

"I'll never get over my fear of this..." someone whispered.

He grinned." Don't worry." and he placed a protective arm around that someone's shoulder.

The person's eyes shone.

"Don't leave me okay? "

"Why would I?"

"Someone might take you."

"Well I won't let them."

"Promise?"

~*~

He snapped back to reality as another roll of lightning cracked out into the reddish dark sky.

He shook his head and continued ascending. He finally reached the landing.

His hands began to grow cold and clammy.

He had readied himself for this earlier but he had lost his composure the moment he held the knob of the door.

His stomach churned inside out. He knocked first.

The door opened a few seconds later.

Another man opened it. He scowled. It was a familiar face. He had seen that look too many times.

"H- How is -?" he asked in a faltering voice.

"Well -" the other man paused, his grayish eyes looking downcast.

"Not doing good..." he said softly.

He sighed deeply.

"What did they say?" He found himself asking.

"Full recovery's impossible," the other replied immediately looking hurt." I - I'll leave you now."

And he strode off, his chin held high but then his hands showed off just how upset he was. It kept on shaking.

Seeing his acquaintance's red head gone, he resumed breathing in and out.

Then the handsome young man strode in.

The room wasn't so depressing. It was rather bright. The curtains had covered the windows.

And there were flowers and get well cards spilling over the coffee table and onto the floor.

' Get well '...he didn't like the word. It was a distant one.

His focus trailed to the person on a bed propped up by a fluffy pillow with starched sheets.

The person on the bed stared at him.

"Hi..." he began.

"Hello," the person said simply." Have I seen you from somewhere?"

It was a low blow to the stomach. He fought to keep his face calm.

"Yes, you have. That's why I'm visiting you now."

"Oh..." the voice trailed away.

"How are you?" he asked softly.

"I - I don't know."

"Don't you realize who I am ?" he asked suddenly. And he cursed himself for doing so.

"Who are you..."

"But you should, You must..." he croaked out looking away. It was an awful sight." Why did you do it?" he asked in agony.

"Do what?"

And he looked at the bandaged wrists and the large brown eyes that no longer laughed.

All he saw now was pain, confusion and sadness.

He fought again to keep his emotions in check. He went nearer." It's me, don't you see?" he said in a desperate voice.

he person blinked.

His eyes closed for a second. Oh god, why did this have to happen? It certainly wasn't deserved. It wasn't wanted.

He wanted to make it all go away, but he had no power over it. No amount of magic could make it disappear neither could any amount of love.

It was pain far worse than he had felt. He wondered if the person felt any pain whatsoever as well.

Pain that was more of emotional than physical.

This time he was beside the bed.

"Please remember..." he begged in a choked voice.

"Remember? Remember me?" the patient said with half of a smile.

He felt bile rise up his throat as he watched the person, mesmerized with own hands.

The hands floated in the air, they danced gracefully. The person laughed and that sounded like sparkling champagne.

He couldn't believe he had thrown it all away.

Then he began to blame himself, all over again. A fresh wave of pain engulfed him....

~*~

"You don't have to blame yourself." a friend once told him. A friend that was once his enemy.

He had come to respect this enemy when he realized that he had now learned to love that special someone.

"I shouldn't have...have left..." his voice trailed off.

"You didn't have a choice back then did you?" his friend told him with a firm tone." You knew it was a tough decision."

"But I didn't come back on time for -" he couldn't continue.

"But you tried to right? That's good enough."

He shook his head." No it wasn't. It was never enough. I should have tried harder...."

~*~

His attention was back inside the room. The person on the bed stared at him.

"Are you all right?" the person asked in a childlike way." You shouldn't frown you know." and the person gave him a childish grin.

"Smile."

And he stared at the person harder. Smile...Could he do it? Outside it began to rain. The room temperature dropped.

His spirits dropped.

The person turned a head towards the window.

"Is it raining?"

He nodded.

"I don't like rain," the patient said with a slight frown." It's so sad...like you."

He was taken aback by what she said. He had never expected the person could still distinguish someone's pain.

Thunder boomed outside the building. The patient was startled.

"Take away the curtain..." said the quiet voice. He obliged. He drew back the curtain.

The patient saw lightning flashing through the sky.

"Aren't you scared?" He asked wanting to hold the person the way he used to.

"No."

Why? That was the biggest question in his life now. Couldn't he just place a comforting arm? A hug? A ....?

"Come back..." he said, his gray eyes looking softer than they had ever been." Please..."

"Who went away?" the person asked looking at him quizically.

"You did," he replied.

"But I'm here."

"You are here, but you're not anymore..." he thought. Was this empty shell of a child the same person he used to love?

The same sensitive, smart, beautiful, and loving person? The same person who taught him what it meant to love unconditionally?

He felt that he couldn't take it.

"Who am I?" he asked.

"You're...I don't know. Maybe you're a friend, you're my friend right?"

"I'm Draco," he said quietly." And yes, I am your friend."

"Draco..." the person looked at the ceiling." I think I know you..."

Then laughter followed. The person's attention drifted to the flowers on the table." They're nice, are those for me?" And Draco nodded.

Draco's vision grew hazy.

"Are you sad?" the person asked." I don't want you to be sad..."

"Her - Hermione come back..." he said softly.

"Who's that?"

"That's your name."

"Oh...Really? Well..." there was a long pause." I don't like it. But I like your name."

Draco's lips played a small smile." Really?"

The person nodded.

"Who's that?" she pointed to a frame. He looked at her with a little surprise. How could she not recognize them? Her two best friends?

"That's Ron and Harry," he told her.

"They look nice and happy...Is that me in the picture too?" she grinned.

Draco nodded.

Then she looked at her wrists.

"What are these?" her tone had changed. They sounded afraid." Take them away!" she cried out tugging at the bandages.

"Stop it!" Draco yelled, seeing blood seeping out.

She continued to cry." Take it away! I don't want it!"

"Stop ! You'll only hurt yourself even more!" Draco said in desperation.

"I already am hurt!" she cried out her pain.

Draco held her shoulders, shaking her slightly." Stop it!"

She stared into Draco's eyes. She struggled to get away.

"No ! No!" she screamed.

"Hermione..."

"I don't know her!" she cried." Leave me alone ! I don't need anyone ! Someone take me away from this bad place!"

Draco clutched his palm hard. He finally felt a tear slide down.

His father was the primary cause of all of this.

He touched his cold cheek. Draco Malfoy succumbing to tears?

No, it wasn't him at all. His eyes gazed at Hermione once more.

How could he have loved this much when he was a Malfoy? When he knew that loving Hermione was forbidden, and yet he went on with it?

Why did he fall for her in the first place?

He couldn't answer those questions in all his turmoil. It was pain beyond human knowledge.

"I have to leave," he said controlling his voice. He looked at her tear streaked cheeks.

His lips brushed her cheek softly.

She grew quiet.

She watched as the tall, suave figure cross the room in sure strides.

"Don't leave me..." she said.

Draco's hand froze on the doorknob. He looked back at her.

Don't leave me...three words that tore Draco's focus.

"I - I have to..." he replied." But I don't want to..."

She smiled at him. For a split second, Draco thought the smart, witty Hermione was back. But then her eyes averted to the flowers again on the table.

She picked out a rose and began plucking out the velvet soft petals.

Draco opened the door, pausing only to hear her murmur his name once more.

"Draco loves me, he loves me not, Draco loves me, he loves me not, Draco loves me, he loves me not, Draco loves me, he loves me not..."

She went on and on as Draco listened.

Finally it seemed that she came to the last petal.

"Draco loves me...not."

And then he heard her gasp." Why?" she cried out to herself.

Then she laughed again." He loves me!" she squealed noticing the last petal that clung. Draco closed his eyes.

"Of course I do, you just don't realize it," he thought. He walked out and closed the door behind him.

His footsteps echoed down the hallway, then they slowly faded away, just as Hermione's love for him had.