Total Eclipse

Total Eclipse

...Once upon a time I was falling in love...

Sixth year. I was in love with Harry and he was finally starting to realise I was a girl. Six years of being best friends then he finally asked me out. Of course I said yes. Who wouldn't? The famous Harry Potter who no one could say no to.

Harry and I were happy. For the first time in both our lives we had found what we were missing. Best friends and dating. My first boyfriend. My first kiss. For six sweet months it was perfect.

...Now I'm only falling apart...

But I should've known better than to think it would last. How could it when my boyfriend was the Boy Who Lived? The end of sixth year Harry fought Voldemort as always. But this time Harry didn't escape with his life as per usual. Voldemort killed Harry and with Harry went my love. Voldemort took my love and buried it in a hole six foot deep.

...There's nothing I can do...

Not like there was anything I could do anyway. Harry never let us help in the fight. We would get ourselves killed, he always claimed. But no he runs off by himself with backup. Look how well that ended.

...A total eclipse of the heart...

Harry had to be the hero. He couldn't help himself. He was too proud to let us weaker people back him up. Maybe if he had he'd still be alive right now. But then again if he hadn't died other things wouldn't have happened.

...Once upon a time there was light in my life...

Seventh year. I became Head Girl. It should have been the best year of my life. But I didn't know what was going on around me I was so sad and lost in memories. Ron didn't notice. He didn't know what anyone around him did that year. I'm surprised he ever made it to classes.

In fact no one seemed to notice I was so depressed. I mightn't have known what was going on but I managed to keep up appearances. Only one person saw through my act and saw the pain I was feeling. Draco Malfoy.

I still have no idea how he knew. But he did. I was patrolling after curfew one night when he stopped me. He asked me if I was okay. Draco was the first person since Harry died who had asked how I felt instead of off-loading their own problems onto me.

During the year I got closer and closer to Draco. I opened up to him and he cared. The one person I never expected to care, never expected to comfort me was the only one doing so. By the end of the year I loved him.

...But now there's only love in the dark...

I loved Draco more than I had ever loved Harry. More than I had ever loved anyone. And he loved me back. For the first time in over a year I felt a glimmer of hope. A slice of happiness. But now...

Two months later was the Final Battle. And we lost as I knew we would. But we had to try. And we paid the price for it. There's no one left. Ron and I are the only ones that survived. We have nothing. We live in hiding. And I'm having sex with him.

...Nothing I can say...

Yeah that's right. I'm having sex with Ron. I know he's in love with me. I've always known it. I feel bad for using him but it's the only way. The only time I ever feel anything. First Harry and then Draco. I've become numb inside and I just want to feel again. I don't care what it is but I want to feel something.

Even if that means I have to use Ron. It's selfish I know. But these are Dark Times. Everyone is selfish. Everyone wants something. Power. Money. Ron wants me. All I want is to feel.

I guess there's nothing left for me to say.

...A total eclipse of the heart...