The Past's Echo

In everything, we do and feel there's a lesson. I've found nothing stays the same. Many months after the wizard war on Hogsmeade, I thought everything I dearly loved had gone. I'll never forget the twisting knots in my stomach, as I gazed across the smoking ruins of the village of Hogsmeade.

How could I have known this would mark a change? On that awful day I left, I walked away from what I considered the end, and with the chilling winter nip playing through my hair, as a cry in the wind, I Apparated far away. I left to live a solitary life in London. For many months, I wore the shroud of sadness. All I knew to make me smile was gone. Hogwarts, my friends, Hogsmeade, the tiny village, which held so many warm loving people, who lived there, and I called friend.

I never knew the hand of fate would deal I, Harry Potter, such a hard blow. Now, five years in its wake, I look upon my wife's face, and wonder, why. Haunting memories flood my mind, of Hermione's laugh, and Ron's pouting face when I'd win him at a game of wizard chess. I miss the Weasleys so much, especially Molly Weasley, the only mother I've ever known since my real mother died. Their warm home always felt inviting, a place I knew I belonged. When I think of all of them I want to weep. Indeed Voldemort died through his wrath, yet so did my friends, and my past is something my Muggle-wife would never believe.

I have nobody to share it all with. I dare not risk telling her and losing Felicity now. Yet, I must press on through vicious dreams and try to cope. I know I'll return, and hope to ease this gap in my life. This dreamy eve, as she sleeps, comforted by her rustling thoughts, I'm taken by an overwhelming need to return. I know I must, a drive pulls me towards Hogwarts to see the ruins of my past.

In the murky dark as she laughs in dreams, I Apparate away to a place I long to see. Through the weary mist, the winter's twilight unveils shapes as fanciful dreams. I still cling to them. I recall when I stood in Hogsmeade. Its life returned through pulsing paths alive with lyrical voices. I remember crying as easily as I said hello. In the background of this dear village, loomed an old friend, a proud, tall, stony castle I once called home. My trembling chin gave way to falling tears, thinking of the pleased smile dear Dumbledore would have after setting eyes upon it all again. To know it all survived, and nothing fell to the Dark Lord after all. Like Fawkes, his phoenix, it rose from the ashes.

My tears streamed, wishing I could bring him back. Hermione, Ron, all of them, I dearly loved and lost to the war. I found myself running towards Hogwarts; before I knew it, I arrived at the front doors. I looked around hoping I wasn't dreaming. I entered the large main floor, as all began to stir. The sun streamed over the horizon, and a new day began again.

'Who are you?'

'Harry Potter, sir,' I answered. A tall man, I didn't recognise questioned me after I stepped through the main doors. However, he appeared to know me, his expression changed to shock.

'Harry Potter, I do declare, come with me,' said the tall dark-haired man.

I followed him to a familiar office, which used to be Dumbledore's. I held my breath as I became deluged with memories, while walking the familiar halls and stairs along our way. I wished for Dumbledore to be here, I hoped, I dreamed, I closed my eyes on the twisting elevator turning ever closer towards Dumbledore's office. The door opened and I nervously stepped in. I passed the old perch where Fawkes always stood. Nothing ever changed in this place. It looked as if he never left. It looked like it did when I attended Hogwarts many years ago.

'Hello, Harry,' said a comforting voice, as soon as I heard it, I knew I had to be dreaming.

'Dumbledore?'

'Yes, Harry,' replied the old wizard from across his desk, gazing over his half-moon spectacles.

'No way, you're dead. I saw you fall to Snape's wand. I - I.' Nonsense flashed through my mind rendering me incoherent.

'You're dead, I saw, I saw ...'

I stood there stupid and amazed. Before I knew it, I ran and hugged him so tightly he coughed. My thick profuse tears fell hard; I couldn't speak for many minutes, immersed in true joy.

'Now sit down Harry, and stop shaking my boy, it's going to be all right. I need to explain a few things,' said Dumbledore, with a comforting smile.

'What you saw that horrid night was an illusion, Harry. I put a spell on you to believe everything because of Voldemort's power over you. You can't seem to accomplish Occlumency to block his assaults from your mind, and I needed him to believe I was dead. If he were to invade your mind again, while you knew I really wasn't dead, he never would have exposed himself to me and the Order as he did.'

My open mouth showed my shock; all I could do is nod. I didn't even turn my head right away when I heard the footsteps of another person entering the office.

'Yes, your thoughts would have betrayed you,' said a low thick voice from behind me. I turned around fast all to see Snape standing there. Nothing about his appearance changed. He still wore black, his hair still fell in lank curtains to his shoulders and his pale face and hooked nose remained a distinguishing feature. Ah, the memories his presence conjured.

'So, you really didn't betray the Order?' I asked Snape, totally shocked.

'No, I didn't, Harry.'

I almost fell off my chair. He called me 'Harry' he had always called me 'Potter' that surely was a big change. His empty heavy stare seemed to have dissipated as well. Could his dark soul have lightened? I wondered.

'Harry, turn around, I'm still speaking to you,' said Dumbledore, half smiling.

' I told you I trusted Snape, Harry.'

I nodded and focused my attention on Dumbledore once again.

'Many of the people you loved, you thought to be dead, Harry. It grieves my heart to have put you through this. It was essential to protect you, and all the others from Voldemort. He was after you. As I've said if he captured you or read your mind again as before he would have learned everything. You had to be convinced they all perished.'

'I understand, but why did you let me believe all of this for five years?'

'I've been waiting for you to return. You took long enough, my lad. I wanted you to come back on your own. To know your loyalty. Like the time you showed me tremendous loyalty in the chamber of secrets, and Fawkes came to you. I guess I'm an old fool and I do apologise my dear boy.'

I read the sorrow in Dumbledore's face, and knew I couldn't argue with a man I've loved as a father all these years; I'd grieved his death so long. I was too full of joy after finding out he's still alive. Then another thought came screaming into existence.

'I understand. But hang on.' Oh, how I hoped what I was thinking was true.

'Do you mean Hermione, Ron, and the rest are still alive?' I dearly hoped he'd nod yes.

'Yes, Harry. Ron, and Hermione, awaits you in the Great Hall. Everyone is waiting there.' Dumbledore smiled.

'You're kidding. I can't believe it; it's like old times. I'm so happy.'

To my surprise, Snape hugged me when I stood up from my chair. I almost fainted, yet the animosity Snape felt somehow softened through my years away. I must admit it was a strange sensation but I didn't feel like fighting, that day was the best in my entire life. As I made my way down the grand stairs with Dumbledore and Snape, and into the Great Hall, I felt light and dearly hoped I wasn't dreaming. As I passed the smiling portraits, which yelled out good tidings, and welcome backs, I smiled and cried feeling complete relief. So many years have fallen away in the mist. Ron, and Hermione, all the Weasleys and Hagrid, McGonagall, everyone, stood before me in the Great Hall.

Older, wiser, and beautiful, all the tears of missing them and never feeling I'd see them again, all the fears and anger of losing everything, blew away that day in the past like the dead leaves of autumn. I learned that all changes, all could become better, and to never jump to conclusions. Ah, the life before me, and how my wife will now be part of something I could never share. Now my life's ambition will be fulfilled as a teacher here, as Hermione and Ron have already become. I do believe in love, and now embrace the happiness of the change that gave my warmth back.

[END]