Significant Princess

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the wind keeps blowing, while my heart
cannot heal all the tears in it
someone cry for me with parched eyes
i only want to know what true sadness is
'the real folk blues' -- the seatbelts

Monday morning, I crashed into Enid Phin, who squeaked. Her sleek grey hair was tousled and black eyes huge in her face. For the life of me, I couldn’t even remember what house she was in. In mine, perhaps? Or maybe Hufflepuff? I couldn’t think. It wasn’t Gryffindor, no, not the Gods of the school. And Enid looked like a sea mammal; she wouldn’t survive in Slytherin. I stared blankly at her while she shuffled around the floor and whimpered.

"Ouch." Automatically, I bent down and helped her up. She rubbed her eyes with one hand and sniffled. Enid Phin was a third-year. In a House that still eluded me. Enid cocked her head to one side. "You better hurry to Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall isn’t in a good mood today."

"Thanks Enid." But I wasn’t thankful. I knew I was going to be late for Transfiguration. I didn’t really care. There was a stain on the ground where Enid had spilled her ink. It was scarlet. Why did Enid have scarlet ink? As I watched, the ink began to run, turning thicker. It wasn’t ink. A heavy metallic smell rolled off the ink as it touched the toes of my shoes. Quickly, I pulled my feet back but it clung, and was sticky. What had Enid Phin been doing with blood in her bag?

I felt my eyes go wide as I bent over to touch the blood. Sometimes, the consistency would reveal the animal. Stupid scientific mode. But the blood went all over my hands; it coated them and was dripping from my palms. Horrified, I tried to shake it off but only droplets flicked over my face. My gaze traveled to the floor where Enid had spilled her scarlet ink to see that it wasn’t just scarlet ink anymore. There was a body. And there was a person. A person with green, green eyes.

Oh, now was time to scream.

Madam Pomfrey had very large eyes. Or maybe they just looked that big up so close. Her skin tone was rivaling Professor Snape’s, but slowly returned to tan when she saw me awake. Her huge eyes backed away and I could see her nose and lips and upper body. She wasn’t that startling from far away.

"Good morning Miss Perks, how are you feeling?" I think terrified would’ve been overkill.

"Light-headed. What happened?" Madam Pomfrey got that pleasant blank look that adults get when they really don’t want to tell kids something. So I prompted her. "I remember screaming."

She looked a bit more relieved. "Professor Shujin and a Prefect found you in the middle of the hallway. You, um, you wouldn’t stop screaming Miss Perks."

So, that was why my throat felt sore. I massaged it with a hand without meaning too.

"A simple Silence Charm worked until you passed out." She seemed more confident because she’d solved the problem. "And now you seem perfectly fine. Of course, I’ll give you some tonic to soothe your throat."

The room started to shrink as Madam Pomfrey began to leave. "Wait!"

She turned, raising an eyebrow. I didn’t really confide in people other than Loki, my owl, but what had happened was a little more frightening than most of the school nuances that I dealt with. I pulled the thin sheet up closer around me.

"I think… I think I was hallucinating. I-I-I saw a body and there was lots of blood-"

"Stress, I’d think. You’re a top Ravenclaw, if I recall correctly." And correctly she did. I nodded. That must be it. Stress. I’d seen Enid’s scarlet ink and immediately that was corresponded with blood. A highly likely cause. And the only cause it could be.

"Yeah… that’s it." She left this time. I tried to focus on the ceiling. It wasn’t enchanted like the one in the Great Hall. The stone beams were bronzed in the late afternoon light and the rest of the ceiling was lost to shadows, a few eyes of rebellious owls glinting. Late afternoon already? I’d missed Transfiguration and Arithmancy, but I could get notes from Hermione Granger. She always took really good notes.

The bed was hard and a bit cold. White sheets like clouds were piled on me, probably cause they were as thick as paper. Madam Pomfrey couldn’t really have put that tonic so far away, could she?

Inexorably, my thoughts drifted to my little psychotic episode in the hallway. There was no plausible explanation. Truth be told, I wasn’t stressed out. I liked being loaded with work; I was the only one in class who almost wiggled with happiness when Professor Snape gave us extra assignments. Homework made me thrive. I was pure Ravenclaw, through and through. I’d have only been stressed if there hadn’t been any work on my plate. What with the extra assignments I’d asked of Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick, I should’ve suffered from a pleasure overdose. Stress had not caused that. Maybe it had been when I bumped into Enid.

Enid was a shy girl and I bumped into her a lot. My head in a book and her face hidden behind her hair, it was inevitable. Today was the first time our collision had actually resulted in her falling though. Maybe that had been it. Yeah, that sounded reasonable. We must have hit heads and since she’s smaller, it knocked her down and it made me hallucinate. Hogwarts did have a history for having weird effects on normal circumstances.

Satisfied that I found an explanation for the weird occurrence, the memory of the collision and hallucination already began fading. I learned too many things a day to store useless images such as those. Tension left me and suddenly, I felt very serene.

"Miss Perks? I’ve found that tonic!" Madam Pomfrey: master of perfect timing.

No one noticed me slip into the Great Hall late for dinner. My usual spot near the exit was taken, so I saddled in near the middle. Dwight Nozer had seated his books next to him, but I asked politely that he move them. Dwight was less than happy to concede. Of course, he never really liked me considering that I had, in the Common Room, belittled his Quantum Mechanics theorem and tore it apart. Really, who could believe that the particles making up the atom were in fact the smallest matter in existence and their polarity would result in antimatter? He was more into the Muggle way of science and mathematics than I was, what with both his parents being Muggle after all.

Anwar Hesper was talking animatedly down the table a bit, waggling her unibrow with its mystic powers. The girl looked more like a boy and only captured attention because of her magical unibrow. I think it’s enchanted, but I’ve yet to figure out how. She was explaining how the pulses of Vega were, in fact, explaining the relationship between wizards and Muggles and had been for the past twenty years. I think she’s been sneaking into our Prefect’s alcohol supply again. I’d turn the Prefect in some day, but that would take too much of my time.

I ate quickly, hoping to swing by Professor McGonagall’s office before I had to go to bed. She would excuse me being late back to the Common Room. Hurriedly, I got up from the table and swung out. Only again to collide with someone.

There was a crash and I was faintly aware that it was me.

"I’m sorry! Are you all right? Did I hurt you?" The ceiling was full of stars and the edges of storm clouds. I blinked again and the void was filled with a vivid green.

"Sorry." I whispered faintly, clutching the hand that had been offered and was pulled up, still drowning in green. I kept blinking but it wouldn’t go away. The green leaned back and it was the infamous Harry Potter. Oh yes, Harry Potter. Mustn’t forget him.

I don’t really have anything against Harry Potter. Really. The constant attention and ditching class and blatant disregard for rules didn’t really bother me, since I’m not in his House. His being Quidditch star and never coming to class but still getting pretty good grades didn’t really bother me.

Really.

"Thanks for, um, helping me up." I brushed off my robes, noting that I would indeed have to use a Dust-Warding Spell tonight. Harry Potter kept eyeing me, scanning over my body.

"Are you sure you’re all right? You fell pretty hard…" I opened my mouth to speak.

"She says she’s fine Harry, leave her be!" And with that, Ronald ‘Ron’ Weasley pulled his friend away. He never glanced back.

Trudging up the stairs to the Ravenclaw Common Room on the fifth floor, I heard a faint voice calling for help. It sounded vaguely familiar, so I headed for the staircase with the trick step. There, trapped in the step with a red flush on his cheeks, was Neville Longbottom. Frank and Alice’s son. Well, they don’t even know their names or recognize that they are beings with names, but that wasn’t really an issue right here.

"Hello Neville." He looked up and the red blush immediately drained. His normal pink complexion returned.

"I’m glad it’s you, Sally." He reached out a hand that I grasped and, working together, we pried him apart from the trick step.

"You should really keep careful watch for this stair Neville. It’s the third time this month I’ve found you in it." His ears went pink and he wouldn’t meet my gaze. My chest tightened a bit and I needed to make up for it. "Here, let me make that stair red. It’ll only last a week or two, but you’ll avoid it for that time, alright?"

"Thanks Sally. I do hate getting caught in that blasted thing." Quickly, I racked my brain for the spell to dye something red. Ah, there it was.

"Crimsona Totalfius!" The step my wand was pointed at turned a dark red color, easily noticeable by anyone who looked down when walking. And Neville did.

"Wow! That’s really bright. I won’t miss that." We both stepped over the stair and I began walking him to the Gryffindor Common Room. Most students weren’t supposed to know the location of the other Common Rooms. But then, most students didn’t wander through the halls on their time off.

"How was your summer Neville?"

"Different, I guess. My grandmum took me to Canada. She said my dad was from there. We’re gonna go to Wales next summer." He spoke while looking at the ground, watching his steps very carefully. The mention of parents brought up a painful subject and I hadn’t meant to remind him of them.

"I’m sorry Neville. I didn’t mean to-"

"How’s your parents Sally? If you don’t mind me askin." He braved a glance then went back to the floor. I swallowed loudly.

"The same. I saw them in July. Mum is uh… well she’s… worse." Checked back those tears: no crying for me.

Neville folded his arms across his stomach. "I hate talking about them. Sometimes, I just wish one of those nurses would forget that they don’t take Purity. Just once-"

"We’re here." I interrupted, quite intentionally. The portrait of a large lady dressed in pink was not very familiar, since this wasn’t my Common Room. Neville stared up at the entrance with huge baleful eyes.

"Oh… cripes… I forgot the password. Typical." He sighed heavily and leaned against the opposite wall. "You can go Sally, I’ll wait ‘til someone comes. A Prefect will come about and let me in eventually."

"I’ll stay with-"

"Oy! Neville! Is that you? Got locked out of the Common Room again, didya?" A boy with sandy hair practically bounced up to us and stopped abruptly, catching my Ravenclaw insignia. "Oh. Hi. Uhm. Hi."

Sighing, I gave a rich smile to Neville. "I’ll be leaving now."

When I was turning the corner, I heard the boy speak again. "Oy Neville! What are ya doin bringing a Ravenclaw up to the Common Room?"

Boys.

I don’t know how other quarters are in Hogwarts, but the Ravenclaw girl’s quarters had been redesigned from their original setup. Together, we’d managed to divide the room up equally among all the girls so we each had an extra space other than the bed and a little walkway to get to all the little ‘rooms.’ Magically, we’d constructed ‘walls’ and, although we had to reconstruct them every year, had come in quite handy. Especially when Cady Baita had brought up her share of Hufflepuff boys. How she managed to smuggle them into the Common Room was beyond even the brainpower of Ravenclaw’s brightest.

My little space consisted of my bed, draped in deep navy, and a little mirror with a bookcase underneath. The bookcase was given to me by my uncle, who had been Head Boy in Ravenclaw when he had attended Hogwarts. He really was a brilliant wizard, having spelled the bottom drawer on the bookcase to hold six feet of storage. With a tap of my wand and the name of the item, it would float to the top. I loved the blasted thing dearly.

"Newt toenails, hamster hair, and liquid quicksilver." The three items floated, the quicksilver glinting in the candlelight. I grabbed them and set them atop the bookcase, trying to recall the Dust-Warding spell. I’d done it to all my things so long ago; they didn’t need a re-spelling but every ten years or so. However, a massive encounter with dust or something jarring tended to break the spell. My mind went into automatic to mix the ingredients. I glanced up into the mirror and frowned.

Madam Pomfrey’s tonic definitely had some negative effects and, despite the soothing state of my throat, I wasn’t sure if they were worth it. My hair, usually pulled back in a low ponytail was hanging limp around my face, still the normal shiny dark grey color of hematite. Aunt Miriam used to tell me that it was black before my parents were incapacitated, but then I had aged so much after that, I was a little old lady. I just figured it was one of those inexplicable things that often happened to wizard children. Harry Potter has glowing green eyes, Enid Phin looks like a dolphin and Patrice Nalmen has skin that’s tinted slightly lilac. Sometimes, odd things just happened. My eyes will still hard chips of charoite, nothing betraying what should have been a soft person underneath. Of course, the color was mostly lost considering how large my pupils were. I don’t think I’ve ever seen skin as white as mine was and I looked entirely as though I had just had the fright of my life. Not the most flattering appearance I’ve worn.

"Miss Perks," I said softly, drawing a brush though my shoulder-length limpness. "You’ve looked better."

I let the Dust-Warding mixture sit for ten minutes, like I was supposed to, before dipping the tip of my wand in. I touched my robes, and there was a small puff of air signaling that it had worked. For extra measure, I used the spell on everything in my tiny room and considered using on my hair, but the last time I had done so ended up with a high gloss that hurt one’s eyes to look at it. I dumped the excess contents into a Strainer, where they separated into the three items I had originally put in.

Considering my earlier bout with strangeness and the nap that had lasted quite a while, I wasn’t in the least bit tired. I briefly mulled over the thought of adding volume to the limpness that was my hair, but dismissed it. It wasn’t against the rules for a student to be out of the Common Room before lights out, which was two hours later for me than for those younger than Third Year. The bulk of my robes was not desired, so I opted instead to wear my navy sweater and black pants. After all, I was just going to be lingering around the halls, right?

After narrowly avoiding Anwar Hesper and the crowd she had attracted with the magic unibrow, I continued down the hall. Really, there isn’t much to see at Hogwarts once you’ve realized the pattern. None of the portraits are assembled erratically; they all follow a strict regiment that has become quite boring. I wasn’t really heading anywhere, thinking of perhaps the library. Madam Pince had mentioned that they’d be receiving some new books from a Russian library that had closed. But I collided with someone else.

I really must get checked for glasses. Honestly, it is just not normal for someone to be running into people as often as I do.

"I’m sorry, are you-" The words stopped dead in my throat. Standing above me was a towering figure in black, with hair as sleek as Enid’s but the whitest blond I had ever seen, and grey eyes so cold, frost started to develop on me. I didn’t recognize him, since I didn’t know the names of much of the students other than those in my house, but I would never forget the look he gave me.

"What?" The word was hissed, sharp and stinging. So stinging, that I actually touched my cheek but of course, I wasn’t bleeding. Scrambling to my feet in the usual manner, I crossed my arms tightly around my chest. Shove that etiquette through your mouth Sally.

"Did I hurt you?" Fear lanced down my spine. The familiar insignia of Slytherin graced his collar. They were infamous for lack of brainpower and the inexhaustible drive to get whatever they want. Judging by the sheer fury radiating off the boy, I was another obstacle in his course.

"Of course not." He took a languid look over the non-impressiveness that was my body and replaced the ice with an apathetic coolness. "What are you doing out so late?"

I don’t know why I answered. "Library."

The refined features twisted into a scowl before righting themselves. "You’re a Ravenclaw, aren’t you?"

"Uhm." My hands immediately went to my throat, devoid of school robe and pin. "Yeah."

"Have you lost the ability to speak other than one word at a time?" I should have known better than to listen to the rumors. Generally, they were true of the House archetypes but… there is always an exception. I was not one, but he might be.

"Still a bit disoriented, is all. I’ve been having sporadic collisions all day." Again, my hand went to my throat where the pin was still absent and became upset to have nothing to toy with. It seemed contented to use the hem of my navy sweater as a replacement. I don’t like how that boy looks at me.

"Who are you?" It was a strange question. People asked what your name was, not who you were. I couldn’t answer that my name was Sally-Anne Perks: that wasn’t the question. Suddenly, I could tell him about anger I had at myself. I could tell him about the resentment I felt to my housemates because they were so confident. I could even tell him about my parents, about how I hated them most of all.

"No one significant." I muttered, clenching my fists to the point where fingernails bit into skin. Those cool grey eyes left a trail of heat wherever they grazed. Something indescribable and slimy slid onto his face, those eyes changing to a grey that was beyond the simple color.

"I could make you significant." My senses didn’t process him reaching across the space and taking a hold of one of my arms, pulling it between us. Numb, I was numb.

A deep sigh rattled from my chest. "It doesn’t even matter anymore. I’m the nameless Ravenclaw third from the left. I’m okay with that."

That color was not grey. It was spiderweb, or old ice, or stormy, something other than just casual grey. Grey could be warm, could be a variable. This though, this was brain matter. Just cold dead brain matter. "Why were you going to the library?"

The change in subject made my head spin. "The library?"

"You mentioned you were going to the library earlier." His voice was laced with amusement, but his eyes were not.

"I had nothing else to do before light’s out." This time, a sort of gentle handling fell into his eyes, brightening them to the color of lead.

"I have something for you to do." He pulled on the arm he still had within his grasp and I followed but I don’t know why. My feet were not my own as we descended into the dungeons.

"My name is Sally-Anne Perks." I thought he might want to know. There was a bit of confusion over his visage, just enough to taint that cruel crystal face.

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."

"The dragon of bad faith." And he smiled.

Honestly, I don’t know how things got where they are after that. Sitting in Professor Snape’s classroom, he proceeded to teach me various aspects of the Dark Arts that I had never known before. Who could’ve known that a swatch of sage twice-dipped in beeswax over a mirror would prevent poltergeists from coming within two meters of you?

It was after the first month that someone in my House approached me. Being too close to the problem often precluded one from seeing that very problem: the same must have been true for me. Albert Bohr was a squirrelly boy, with quick beady eyes and the habit to wring his hands. Two Gryffindors had given him the name Lady after the Lady Macbeth for that particular quirk. We knew each other by House placement only, nothing outside the barest hint of interaction between us.

Surprise was then justified when he approached me in the Common Room. Anwar Hesper was on the dark path of becoming Cady Baita’s protégéé and thus, was not in Common Room to enchant me. Glancing up from the Dark Arts book that Draco had given me to read, I saw the short boy approaching, feet as jittery as his hands.

"Sally-Anne…" Fear ripped the bass of his voice and threw it into a soprano squeak. If I had been that sort of person, I would have found this humorous. But I wasn’t.

"What is it Albert?" Neutrality was the collective tone of voice for Ravenclaws; we didn’t tend to be emotional with each other. It was almost as if we had surpassed emotions. Their effects were known quite well among the teenaged population, but we had somehow ascended that trend. My voice wasn’t any different.

"What-what sort of activities have you engaged in recently?" It was time for the raising of an eyebrow. This behavior was atypical for Albert Bohr; the boy normally jumped around as if he’d been electrocuted. That eyebrow must have taken some of Anwar Hesper’s powers, for he widened his beady black eyes and snapped his mouth shut.

"You are not known for your eloquence Albert. You’d much rather be conversing with satellite signals than with me. Say what you will straight out." It is good to know that there are some benefits to my month with a Slytherin. I almost liked the audacity.

A deep breath caused that shallow chest to rise and fall dramatically in the firelight. "We’ve… noticed that you have been spending extended amounts of time with a specific Slytherin."

What?

My House, the ones who care nothing about me before, has suddenly taken an interest in my social life? I rose; he cowered. "Albert-"

"Sorry Sally-Anne! One of the girls asked me to do it! We’re just getting worried: that’s all! The Malfoys have been known for being deceptive and cruel-"

"Albert. I am one of the top students in the school. I believe that I can determine what is healthy and safe for me." Hesitation filled his eyes, but the small boy nodded and stumbled away.

In these American cartoons that my cousin Barbara watches, certain characters have steam emitting from their ears when they reach a particular level of anger. It should not be physically possible and yet, I do believe that there was a certain amount of water vapor pouring out of my ears. The glares of those girls that must have blackmailed Albert were boring into my skull. Leaving was the highest priority.

The library is a refreshing vacation from the Common Room. The Russian section was as deserted as the country’s frozen tundra. Most of my fellow classmates took Latin, Greek, and German; Russian roots were as useful as a lead wand. I was immersed in Stoiyachovich’s Vopshebstvo Rozhdeniye. It studies the theories of magic’s origins and the existing dichotomy between good and evil magic. Fascinating subject actually, considering the rising of Voldemort and the particular focus he’s had on Harry Potter. If we wrote essays, I would seriously consider writing one about their relationship. Either that or the physical properties of wands and how the differences in their cores affect their magical usage. Safe to say, I was immersed in the book when blindness struck me.

Screaming would have been excessive so I settled for stiffening. There were hands wrapped over my eyes. It was not a good feeling. I did not like it.

Admittedly, I am a weak bookworm with legs that are scrawny and pale from lack of sunlight. My arms were only had muscle mass from carrying so many heavy books. I have no martial art training. Nevertheless, I was prepared to do anything to fend off my attacker.

In hindsight, it was dramatic even for a Gryffindor.

"Bonwebstebo po-star-ahenay? What are you reading?" I was still stiff and frozen to my position as he pulled out a chair and sat next to me, grabbing the leather-bound book. "Russian. Never much liked that language. However, I figured, rightly so, that you would be hidden in the most obscure section of the library. If you weren’t such a superego, I’d have you placed in the Restricted Section."

"Don’t throw German psychology at me, Mr. Malfoy. Besides, the majority of books in the Restricted Section contain death spells, which aren’t very entertaining." He raised a white eyebrow, holding up the book. "Mypistomology is a engaging subject; you might want to study up on it."

One month has passed since we started spending time together, and I have yet to determine whether I am in love with that smile or I hate it. "Why do you like it so much?"

"It’s a web." My fingers traced a spiderweb in the dust. "Every one is interconnected in the magical and Muggle world. People who react to each other create another strand in this gigantic web, forcing all of us to respond to the different stimuli. Even two such opposites, like Harry Potter and You-Know-Who, are so closely related that it is quite extraordinary."

With smoky quartz for eyes, he leaned on one elbow. The black robe got dust on it. "You like not feeling alone."

"That," I said, shelving the book. No one would come to read Stoiyachovich and disturb my place. "Is just an added bonus. It really is the intellectual incitement that-"

"Oh I’m sure it is."

"I am being serious."

"I think you are just looking for more ways to associate yourself with me."

"Why you arrogant, vain, narcissistic sod!"

"Thank you, Miss Perks. Wasn’t that just a variety of useless synonyms?" I smiled this time, crossing my arms.

"They all have their particular meaning that are perfect for you. It is no fault of mine that your personality can be summed up with one word: egotistical." A scowl graced those fair features, false as Professor Trelawney’s predictions.

"You should know that I have every intention of setting a curse upon you that will make you cry." He launched forward and grabbed my arms, preventing me from drawing upon my wand. It was too characteristic of us to dive for the wands during our conversations. A wild gleam of some shiny spark burned in those brain-matter eyes, reflecting the blue of my Ravenclaw pin to turn into steel.

My tongue darted out to wet dry lips. "Draco…"

"Have you ever been kissed Sally?"

"Draco, we’re in the library." Which had to explain why I was whispering. Why we were whispering. I would have pushed him off, but he was leaning down and my arms had no strength.

"You haven’t. You were waiting for a smart boy." Trembling was bad. Why was I trembling? That was bad. I was ill. Illness is the only answer.

"I think I’m ill. I’m trembling." That contralto of mine couldn’t hit notes lower.

"That’s what happens when you want to do something that your mind thinks you shouldn’t." His eyes were a gleaming violet with the reflection of mine.

"Don’t kiss me Draco." A hand had released one of mine and traced my lips.

"Sally-Anne. Salen. My Salen."

Why do possessive nicknames give you that feeling? Suddenly, I was a pool of goo. Or more accurately, I was Draco Malfoy’s pool of Salen goo.

Kissing boys was supposed to be disgusting. They were supposed to be meaty, grubby things with fourteen hands and sweaty dripping from every available pore. Their kisses would be slimy and filled with a thick invading tongue. It was a girl’s worst nightmare.

Kissing boys was not supposed to be exhilarating. They were not supposed to be supple with a lean solid body that supported all the exact places. Their kisses were not supposed to be fiery and close-lipped, eyes closed in an earnest innocence.

I have never been kissed by anyone.

I never want to be kissed by anyone else.

How can anyone do that kiss that makes me freeze and melt simultaneously or run fingers through hematite-colored hair that will silence me or say that one word that I can’t deny anything to?

For the next month, we did not voluntarily leave each other’s sides. The worst thing was that it wasn’t anything physical that made me be his hip-attachment. We talked like I had never heard two people talk. It wasn’t concerning gossip or idle pastimes. He wanted to know my own beliefs on mypistomology and what I thought of the Potter-Voldemort situation. We argued points and agreed for disagreement on certain aspects. I have never been able to discuss my ideas with anyone before. No one wanted to listen to what I had to say. But Draco…

No one has ever understood him. Those insults he throws are just a defense mechanism for the incompetence of the world. Those stupid, stupid people can’t even begin to comprehend how complex of an individual he is. I know those girls in his House hate me. With eyes burning a passionless fire in those ugly faces, I could only grasp his hand a bit tighter whenever we walked near them.

I gave Cady Baita the spell to have high pheromones for her secret.

Pansy Parkinson never looked more evil than when I maneuvered a certain blond boy into the Ravenclaw Common Room.

The ceiling to my tiny ‘room’ was enchanted to change those colors that invoked calmness and soothed emotions. I think he enjoyed it almost as much as I did. Having gathered more from Professor McGonagall’s stores, that quicksilver had come in rather useful, especially for the Sound-Sealing charm I had cast on the walls of my ‘room.’

Our topic of discussion had gotten very personal that night. He had, for the first time, revealed what he thought of his parents, and how they had affected him and his status at Hogwarts. For having parents that are beyond the edges of sanity, it is comforting to know that normal parents cause just as much havoc in one’s life. My hand was firmly gripped in his cold grasp, fingernails biting but not breaking and his eyes wide and shiny. He didn’t cry; I did.

"Parents should be nonexistent. They live only to cause pain and bring punishment upon their children." This, after innumerable hours of his ranting and my gentle encouragement. He shifted onto his side, staring down at me. That is the strange part. I have never had someone look at me so intensely before and it was highly unnerving.

"Salen, tell me," He said, eyes flashing with the alternating rainbow above our heads. "what happened to your parents."

Albeit information like that was usually offered between us, this was the right time to tell someone. Relate my virgin tale to the person I trusted most of all. He would understand. He was the only one who could. "Have you heard of Godric’s Hollow?"

"Potter lived there." I nodded. The glowing green of above caught in his eyes and he resembled the boy who lived in that brief moment. Something fell out of the corner of my eye.

"We lived there too. My parents had discovered that I was going to Hogwarts. Both being Ravenclaw graduates themselves, they decided to enhance my awareness. I had the mindset of a ten-year-old when I was nine months. It is completely forbidden now, but those years ago… I was Reversed, of course. But the damage had been done.

"Both of our houses were brown. Architects weren’t very original in their designs, so every other house looked exactly the same. One ochre building separated us. I had been ill with fever and unable to sleep, so we were all playing Hide-and-Go-Seek in the house. Even though I knew it was obvious, I hid beneath the stairs. Mum was on the number nine when the front door shattered.

"There was much green light streaming from the door. No one really knew what was happening until Thomas came downstairs. He was my older brother and had had school the next day… There was lots of screaming. I had blood on my face. You-Know-Who grabbed both of my parents by their skulls and stood there for what seemed like hours. There was more screaming. And then, he said ‘wrong house.’

"The green left and I stayed in the closet for four days until my uncle, who heard about the Potter incident, came by to check on us." My eyes opened again to see those above me, quicksilver in the iridescence. " ‘Wrong house.’ He had the wrong house. That’s all he could say. Thomas was dead, my parents would be on Purity for the rest of their lives, my life was ruined and it was the wrong house."

A cool finger traced the wet track line from my eye and held it up for inspection. I looked and it was red. Wiping my own eyes, I saw that those wet lines were not salty tears but bright red streaks. A pink tongue emerged to taste the crimson liquid and his eyes met mine. Yes, I had indeed just cried blood. Weird wizard phenomenon.

"The worst pain," he started, lying back down beside me. For the first time, his hand was warm in mine. "Is the one beyond tears."

Returning from Professor Snape’s office with rosemary tucked safely in my pocket, I had found Neville stuck in the floor again. Again, I helped him and walked him to the Gryffindor Common Room. He’d written the password on the in palm of his hand. A few tries from the sweaty surface had resulted in entrance. I smiled at him and made for Professor Vecos’ class.

She had given Draco detention and said that his ‘little girlfriend’ shouldn’t be allowed to attend with him. Obviously, neither of us could accept this comment and I proceeded to determine a worthy punishment. Professor Snape was only too willing to help restore my lack of rosemary. Normally, rosemary was a very good herb and prevented evil spirits from entering one’s residence. But if the properties were reversed with a drop of flaxseed oil, rosemary could do much harm. It was only right that Professor Vecos got a few nights of no sleep from those spirits following her everywhere. They’d leave in a few days and she would never suspect children could be the cause. It honestly wasn’t Draco’s fault that Susan Bones had slipped and fell down a flight of stairs. The girl is just clumsy.

I turned to leave the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room when I spotted Mr. Gryffindor himself. Emerald eyes ablazing and mouth set in a grim line; he stopped upon seeing me. I had not seen Harry Potter alone since… ever.

"Sally-Anne Perks." I smiled.

"Harry Potter." And something tired resembling a smile fell upon his face as well. He had finally learned my name. Me, the nameless Ravenclaw third from the left.

"Did you see Neville home again?" Nodding, I noticed that although the glowing of his eyes distracted from it, dark circles were digging into his skin. From the looks of it, he hadn’t slept in a month. Slowly glancing around, Harry pulled his robes a bit tighter. "Where’s Malfoy?"

"Draco," I didn’t stress the name, like someone else would’ve done. These two knew each other backwards and forwards. Nemesis, they were called. "Is in detention. I’m heading for my room."

Harry nodded again, more agreeing with my voice and not the words I was saying. Restorative Draught was definitely in need for him. "Good night Sally."

"Harry." He stopped, shoulders drooping and taking all his effort to turn back and look at me. "Do you need something? I could make you a Restoration powder or use a Cheering Charm. Anything."

He was silent for a few moments. "A new name."

"What?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"A new name Sally. Can you get me a new name?" My mouth opened to respond that yes, I probably could get him a new name, but Harry waved me off. "I didn’t mean it Sally. Just… ignore that. Good night."

"Good night Harry Potter." The painting shut. "The Boy Who Lived."

Three days after a trip to Hogsmeade, Draco slipped into the Russian section of the Library and slid onto the table, smearing thick dust over the posterior part of his robes and not giving a devil’s care about it. Students knew not to go into that section when Miss Perks and Mr. Malfoy were signed in. There had been rumors about us, but they were firmly squashed with threatening glances by Draco and sudden quirks appearing around the initiators of rumors. I glanced up from Stoiyachovich, whose book I may never finish at the rate Draco continued to interrupt me. A smile coated his face and I’m sure that I am the only girl who knows he has teeth, fairly nice ones whiter than his hair.

I closed the book and crossed my arms, trying in vain to show a disappointed look. My grin pretty much ruined that. I dare not tell anyone that I can be myself only to Draco. That he brings out the best in me and Plato would classify that as caritas. Those thoughts were pushed to the darkest recesses in my mind for mulling over when he or homework was not present.

"You look positively delighted Draco. Did you cause someone bodily harm that may not be curable?" He rolled those druse-colored eyes and splayed himself on the table, picking up the leather book. Then, shifting to one side, he set down a folded piece of blue cloth. For the longest time, I just stared at it.

"I noticed your fascination and found a perfect compliment. Don’t you want to open it?" It was a present. From someone other than my family. A present. I wasn’t sure if I did want to open it.

"What is it?" My hands were shaking.

"It won’t explode if you open it Salen!" Somewhat cautiously, I opened the cloth, but stared at him while doing so. He motioned to look down.

Oh… dear… "It’s Paraiba tourmaline… from Brazil."

"I know. That’s where I was when I got it." The teardrop shaped stone was set in what couldn’t possibly be platinum on a box chain. I watched the peacock blue stone sparkle before offering it back to him in my cupped hand.

"I can’t take this. It’s too precious." His hand curled mine into a fist around the necklace.

"Salen, you don’t want me to say something ridiculously romantic like ‘it’s not more precious than you are,’ but I might be severely tempted if you resist any longer. I wouldn’t have given it to you if I didn’t want you to take it." My fist was shaking when his left it, so I set it on the table. Giving presents was far too deep into a relationship. We couldn’t possibly be that close, could we? The brilliant cerulean shone again when I opened that hand.

"I don’t know what to say." This said as he took the necklace and quickly put it around my neck, settling the tourmaline firmly in the middle.

"There is polite jargon that would be appropriate, but I would be pacified with something slightly more physical." His thin pink lips were twisted into a sly smile. Feeling giddy, I leaned forward and indulged in his request. It was not a hard thing to do, considering that that payment was beneficial to me as well.

"When the time comes, I will get you something just as special."

"I don’t doubt that."

I had noticed that my housemates were not as friendly as they once were. We did not correlate in the library or at meals. Whomever I sat next to for classes was polite and normal, but a bit colder than usual. I hadn’t really minded; none of the Ravenclaws had been close friends. But it still had been so peculiar and the whole boycott of me came to fruition two weeks after I had received the tourmaline.

A collection of John Donne poems with a corresponding examination and possible spell usage on the opposing side was the book in my hands. The library didn’t just carry wizarding books. For being a Muggle, John Donne had very cognitive poems with a deep comprehension of the wizard life. I do believe his wife or love must have been of our kind.

I was sitting completely insouciant when a presence loomed before me. Glancing up, it was revealed to be Anwar Hesper. I am no longer weary to look at her face since Cady Baita had dwindled the unibrow down to thin short strips and therefore negated the magical power. Behind her were several more Ravenclaw girls. I set the book down on the table next to my chair and sat up a bit straighter. It was a regular procession.

"Anwar?" Her hands were twitching in front of her.

"Sally-Anne can I… can we talk to you about something?"

"Of course Anwar. Go ahead."

Her eyes darted around the room, never actually looking at me. She did spend an awful bulk of time staring at my necklace though. Note to self: hide the necklace when sleeping. "It’s about that boy you’ve been spending time with. We’re… a little worried."

"What? About Draco? But he’s perfectly harmless." Absently, I started stroking the necklace. It calmed me down when Draco wasn’t there.

Anwar looked extremely nervous. "It’s just that you have been spending excessive amounts of time with him, and we’re afraid that he might hurt you. Boys only want one thing Sally-Anne. They like to use girls that are like us. We don’t want to see you hurt. That’s all."

"Cady has a different boy in her room every other night! No one is worried about her!"

"Those are dumb Hufflepuff boys and an occasional Gryffindor. Not… Cady doesn’t see Slytherins. Slytherins are bad Sally-Anne, very bad. And the Malfoy family doesn’t have a good reputation either." She had backed up as I indignantly slid forward in the chair.

"My God Anwar, this is about Draco being a Slytherin? I thought we were above those petty misconceptions." How dare they tell me this? Who were they anyway?

"Sally…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. My fists clenched. "Everyone knows the Malfoys are working for You-Know-Who. That boy is undoubtedly as well."

I was on my feet in an instant. They cowered and I made no move to contain my anger. "You—I have nothing I can say to you! You all are a bunch of chattering birds, gossiping like chickens! No… you are worse than that. You are spineless. You are worms. Spineless creatures that devour your own excrement and only live to continue some meaningless slander!"

"Sally-"

"Worms! You are all worms!" I was going to break my pendant; my grip was too tight. "Spineless worms!"

"Sally!"

"WORMS!"

Bright indescribable blue filled my vision.

The next time I opened my eyes, I saw the firelight flickering on the Common Room walls. Time surely had passed. My hand hurt and I realized it was still clenched around my necklace. It took a few tries to get it off, and the impression was left in my pale skin. Anwar and the other girls were nowhere in sight.

"Anwar?" My voice squeaked and my throat ached. Oh right, I had screamed. I’m not sure why I glanced down. A gasp left me. In a pile not too far from my feet were brown earthworms.

Oh God. What to do? Grab the worms? They couldn’t possibly be the girls… could they? Oh God. Oh GOD. It wasn’t possible.

Help. I had to get help. Someone had to help me but I couldn’t tell Professor Flitwick. I couldn’t tell anybody. Oh God, what was I to do?

Draco… Draco would know. Even if he didn’t… it was better to be with him.

It was a miracle to get down to the Slytherin entrance and even more so for me to remember that "Purity" was the password. I stumbled in and ugly faces stared at me from flickering lights.

"Looks like a poor Ravenclaw has lost her way." My insides froze.

"Shut up Terrence. That’s Sally Perks." The wordless noise shushed to nothing and the silence made the room feel pressurized. Worms, they were worms.

"Draco?" I couldn’t ask anything more than that.

Footsteps and someone was coming from the dorm. "Did someone cast a Silence Charm or did you all finally-"

"Draco." I sounded like a wounded animal. My legs forgot to work and I collapsed. He rushed forward and got me out of the Common Room into the dank hallway. Oh my God, oh my God.

"Salen, why did you come here?"

"Worms. They’re all worms." How is that even possible?

"What are you talking about? Are you feeling ill?" He pressed a cold hand against my forehead.

"I was talking to the girls in the Common Room. And then they were just all worms. I don’t know what happened." I looked up into those cool grey eyes and he was blurry with wetness.

"Professor Snape will know how to fix this." Fingernails dug into his arm.

"No! The teachers can’t know. I’ll be expelled." My eyes went wide. I couldn’t have turned them into worms. They couldn’t be worms.

"Don’t worry Salen, Professor Snape won’t expel you. So unless you know how to fix this…" I shook my head and away we went.

Worms. How could they be worms?

A smooth velvet voice of darkness. "Mr. Malfoy… and Miss Perks. How… interesting to see you here."

I hadn’t done anything. I couldn’t have.

"There was an accident in the Ravenclaw Common Room." Eyebrows were raised.

Those were random worms. Some Hufflepuff left them.

"What kind of accident?"

Oh my God. My housemates were worms.

"Unauthorized transfiguration. A bunch of Ravenclaw girls to worms." A deep sigh and there was movement. We were moving. Going back to the Common Room.

"Aluminum oxide." How did he know the password? Did someone else know the password and come in and turn all the girls to worms? It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t.

"Well Miss Perks, you’ve done an excellent transfiguration. Turning humans to animals requires massive amounts of power. Your wand is now black dust, I presume?" My hands were empty.

"Wand?" What wand? "My wand is upstairs. Are they really worms?"

"Yes they are Miss Perks." He came towards me, Lucifer in black. Tears ran down my cheeks even more but I wasn’t doing anything other than letting them run. Who was I to cry? "You are saying that you did this without your wand?"

He was trying to make a point. "It’s upstairs. Does that mean yes?"

"Fortunate for you, I can reverse this." He folded his arms and why did Professor Snape seem so tall?

"They’ll hate me." My hand went to my mouth. "They’ll wake up and hate me. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want them into worms. I didn’t really mean it. I didn’t. How could this happen?"

Everything in the room got taller as I sank to my knees. There was black and Professor Snape had knelt in front of me. Why was he doing this? Wasn’t he supposed to be the cruel mean teacher that hated everyone? They’d hate me.

"In the magical world, Miss Perks, normal things can become disoriented. When emotions become involved, magic is amplified to disastrous heights. Were you shouting Miss Perks?" I nodded numbly. "You were telling them that they were worms and, backed with enough emotional distress, they became worms. Have you performed any new spells in the past month?"

"Not anything outside of class." My hand was wrapped tightly around the Paraiba tourmaline.

"Have you received anything within the past month?" I shook my head and Professor Snape had the internal thinking look that I witnessed many classmates get. I too had that look. Oh my God they were worms.

My voice was a whisper. "They will hate me."

One pale hand clasped over my shoulder and I had never seen anyone with that face before. "That, Miss Perks, is what Memory Charms are for."

The girls never remembered that they had been annelids but there become an undercurrent of tension. Somehow, they knew that I had done something and they didn’t talk to me unless absolutely necessary. I spent no time in the Common Room if I could help it. There was only one person that I could be with that didn’t make me feel guilty or feel like crying.

"And Daniel Ienstein fell over himself trying to scramble away from me. They can’t even be near me anymore." He’d managed to get the dorm empty save the two of us. His ceiling wasn’t enchanted like mine, but the stone provided interesting designs anyway.

"They aren’t exactly highest on the list of people you need to converse with."

"I can’t believe that they are abandoning me like this. The Ravenclaw House never really was intimate but no one has even been so blatantly cast out of our group. I feel alone." He was reading the Potions book, flipping pages without really absorbing them.

"I’m here." I smiled and turned over to glance over what he was studying. There was a test next week. He closed the book, staring at the opposite wall. "I’ve been thinking. You theorize that Potter and Voldemort have some inexplicable dual parasitic relationship. However, I don’t think it’s that. It seems the stronger Potter grows, the stronger Voldemort grows. He has been rising up to seize power again and it’s common knowledge that a wizard gets more powerful as they enter the adult stage of their lives."

Hmm. "So, they are actually symbiotic? That’s an interesting idea. I don’t know Draco… why would You-Know-Who be trying to kill Harry then?"

"Has he ever actually tried to kill Potter?" I opened my mouth quickly to reply, but the more I thought it over, the more I realized that he was correct.

"And that night, when he tried to kill the Potters… that could’ve been the beginning of such a relationship."

"Exactly." The Potions book banged on the floor and I jumped. Draco didn’t.

"We shouldn’t tell anyone about that particular theory Draco. I don’t know what it would do if someone got the bright idea to test it out." He glanced at me, confusion marring his face.

" ‘Test it out?’"

"Well, if someone were to hurt Harry and discover whether or not it affected You-Know-Who. Some extremist might even kill Harry. You know, to kill You-Know-Who. That would not be a positive reaction." I sat up, stretching and not waiting for Draco’s response.

"This weekend is the anniversary of-"

"I know." And I left the room. Not that I didn’t want to be around Draco I just… couldn’t let him finish that sentence.

Friday night, I was awake and sitting in my bed, legs pulled up to my chin. Sitting on the farthest end of the bed was a sand-colored letter with tall scripted letters that read ‘St. Mungo’s Hospital.’ Aunt Mirriam’s knitted blue and white afghan sat folded neatly at the edge of the bed. The letter was atop it. That letter and my skin were the only pale things in the huddled darkness of my tiny ‘room.’

I did not want to open that letter.

Every year, it was the same exact letter.

‘To Whom It May Concern: we have reviewed the case of your loved one(s) and determined that (insert name here) cannot be taken off Purity. The circumstances surrounding his/her/their incapacitation has lead to another year on Purity. Purity is…’ and then the regular explanation of the magical drug, its properties, and its effects on persons revealed. Purity was to keep the insane from harnessing the uncontrolled free magic that’s inside every wizard and destroying the world.

Mariah and Stephen Perks could not be taken off Purity. They would spend the rest of their lives in a blank stupor, drooling and never remembering anything. Purity did whatever was necessary to prevent the occurrence of above and for some cases: total mind shutdown was that evil.

Water leaked down my face.

For all my years, I have never had anyone with me when I opened that letter. Each year, I hoped with that small fraction inside that still believed in miracles that the letter would be different. Every year, I was disappointed and a small part died. Perhaps that is why most of my housemates found me so difficult to deal with: I was half-dead. Despite the closeness that had been growing on me, I would not deny my ritual. With cold trembling hands, I grabbed the envelope and pulled it closer, holding it like some dirty thing.

"Hello Walter Tugger, Head of Administrating. What news do you have for me today?" The time became midnight and I opened the letter. Inside was the normal sand-colored paper. Pulling it out, there were two pages, unusual. A spark started in my heart that I tried to firmly quash. Two pages meant nothing. St. Mungo’s sent out letters everyday; putting in an extra paper was an accident.

Why did my hands still shake, when I knew the answer?

‘To Whom It May Concern: we have reviewed the case of your loved one and determined that Mariah and Stephen Perks cannot be taken off Purity.’

Of course. Why had I suspected any different?

The paper fluttered out of my hands as I bowed my head. The Silence Charm had been instated for a reason. My peers would not hear me sob. Just as my eyes were to be covered by the black of my pants, I spotted the heading to the second paper. It was addressed to me, personally.

I picked it up and began to read. As each word entered my brain for processing, my eyes widened. That water rushed and I fell out of my bed, stumbling around the room.

Draco. I had to see Draco. Now. Had to see him now.

More horrified than the worm incident, I couldn’t remember the password to the Slytherin Common Room. My fists were beating at the opening, a steady erratic rhythm. There was blood and I had been pounding too hard.

"Salen?" The voice was from behind. He was standing there, eyes wider than normal and the smell of Professor Snape’s dungeon surrounding him. I faced him, holding up the bloody fists and not absorbing them. "Salen what happened?"

"I got the letter. There was another one though. Draco they-they knew! They knew what happened! Pictures, they had pictures. And Thomas… Thomas was dead and that wasn’t Avada Kerdavra. I don’t know what that was. And it was him. It had to be him. Only he- only Voldemort could know! And someone in my House. Someone knew and put it in. They hate me."

"What are you talking about?" His hands were on my arms and they hurt.

"A picture… of Thomas… was in my letter. And it moved." There should have been blood all down my front, like there had been that day. Why wasn’t there blood?

His voice had gotten lower. "Have you thought of ending it Salen?"

"I’m too weak for suicide." My legs weren’t working. The voice dipped farther into bass notes.

"No, homicide. Killing Voldemort. Remember what we talked about?" His visage was blurry. I was silent for long moments.

"Symbiotic. Kill one and the other dies." Oh God.

"Half of that symbioses is sleeping upstairs Salen. You can rid the world of Voldemort." Something glittery was in front of him and it was his dagger. Yes. Of course.

"It’s for the greater good. They’ll thank me later." He traced my cheek.

"No one will have to know." He pressed the gleaming metal into my hand. "Do it for your brother and your parents."

"And for me." There was a smile.

"And for you."

The portrait of the pink lady was my only obstacle. But earlier that day I had helped Neville and the password was ‘hippogriff claw.’ All was silent in the dark Gryffindor Common Room. It was easy to sneak up to the boys’ dormitory and slip into the room. I checked two before I found the one where Harry Potter slept soundly.

This was for the greater good of the people. When I could tell them I was responsible, they’d praise me.

Ronald Weasley snored loudly. My weight depressed the bed only slightly and I straddled the boy. His hair was black against the crimson bedding. If Harry died, Voldemort died. The wizarding world would be safe.

"I’m sorry." I raised the silver dagger high with two hands holding the handle.

Glowing green eyes sprang open and I stopped. Oh God. I couldn’t do it if he was watching me. I couldn’t bring down my arms.

His voice was raspy with sleep. "Sally-Anne?"

"The world. It’s for the world." He raised those emerald eyes to the glinting silver and upon his face came a look I would never give Harry Potter.

He gave up. He did not fight. His strength outweighs mine by a lot. And he did not resist. His face slackened and relief spread through his eyes. Those green glowing orbs shut.

The dagger dropped with lightning quickness and force beyond me. Redness painted my face and I did not blink.

I remembered when Enid had dropped her ink and it had become blood. Seems that I had a bit of a premonition back then. None of my family had ever been clairvoyant. The glowing green had been Harry Potter’s eyes.

My hands were sticky before I finally moved. I did not kiss boys but I did kiss Harry Potters and his lips were still warm.

There was a smile and it was mine.

I had just saved the world.

My family would be so grateful and proud of me.

And Draco would still love me.

la fin