Train Wreck

Train Wreck

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Would your love in all its finery

Tear at the darkness all around me

Until I can breathe again

Until I believe again

*

I remember your voice. It was deep and completely intoxicating. I could have listened to you for hours. Your breath would tickle my ears as you spoke to me. We would stay up for hours holding each other. We would talk about everything and nothing. I was happiest then being with you. Now I pray for the day you will come back to me. I hope that day will come.

I sit here in my room longing for your touch. The memories are all I have left of you. I remember that one night in my room....

"Ginny..." his voice asked.

"Yes?" she answered.

"I got the letter today" he replied.

Ginny lay in silence.

"Ginny? You know I have to go. If I don't I am putting both of us in danger. You know what my father is like."

"I wish we could just run away and never come back..." Ginny finally said.

"You know you don't want to do that Gin. You can't leave your family. We both knew this wouldn't last forever."

"I wanted it to though..."

I can only get up to go to work and eat. Everything is routine. I only continue on for one reason you know. I do not want to know how I will go through it all without you. I remember when I told you that morning before you left. That one event is what keeps me going. I am not living for just you and me anymore. I am living for another reason.

Ginny stood in her bathroom door. The morning after he had declared that he was leaving. The morning after he had told her about the letter. She was shocked and could not speak. She could not move.

That was how he found her. She had finally sat down on the toilet after managing to close the lid. She was holding something in her hand. It was a Muggle device of some sort. He knelt in front of her too see her eyes were vacant.

"What's the matter love?"

"It is positive," she answered.

"What is positive? What are you talking about?" he asked. He sounded worried.

"This test. I took it. I'm positive," she whispered.

He looked around the bathroom and saw the box that had held the thing in her hand. He read the title and then looked at Ginny. He looked back and forth between the two before sitting down as well. Leaning against the wall he let out a string of profanities.

"How could this have happened? We were careful!"

"I don't know," she paused. "I can't think anymore."

"If my father ever finds out..." He trailed out trying not to think about it.

"Quit talking about your father. If your going to leave I want you to at least leave me here without reminding me your more loyal to him than you are to me" she snapped.

The bathroom went quiet.

"Is that what you think? You think that I am doing all this for him? I hate the bastard Gin and you know it" he retorted.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean. I just don't know what to do anymore," she whispered and tears started to form behind her eyes.

*

'Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen

Waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks

A wild fire born of frustration

Born of the one love that gets me so high

I've no fear at all

*

My belly is starting to round and I went to a doctor. I wish you could have been there when I found out the sex. A boy. He will grow up to be like you. I can all ready see him running around in the back yard. His eyes like yours. I remember your eyes so well. They were so bright at times like the stars themselves. Yet at other times they were the almost black of the midnight sky.

My mother is becoming suspicious that something is different. They don't know yet but I can't hide it forever. For now I wear baggy shirts. They hide my stomach. Now all I have to do is hide the pain of missing you so much. I remember the first time we actually had a civil conversation.

"So what are you working on?"

"Potions" Ginny answered. "Snape gave out a nasty essay on Mandrake Restorative Draft."

"Which is why I have been sent to help you?" he informed her.

"You have been sent to help me?"

"Yes Professor McGonagall says you have been slipping a bit and that you need a tutor. Since Mrs. Granger is unavailable they sent the next best thing. Me."

He gave a low bow complete with sweeping arms and a wink. She giggled as he sat down beside her and looked at her work. He began to correct it and she took notes on everything he said. She was sad to see the lesson end when it did. Yet when he saw her small frown he only smiled and promised to come back the next day.

You were charming to say the least. You knew it too. It was annoying how arrogant you were even if it was a cute arrogance. I guess you are the only one that could make me think that a bad trait was good somehow. The effect you had on me. The effects that you still have on me even when you are not here.

*

Would your eyes like midnight fireflies

Light up the trenches where my heart lies

Until I can see again

To find my way back again

*

My whole life was better when you were here. When I could wake up each morning and see you there I was happy. I could reach over and run my hand through your hair. Or trace your lips with me fingers. You would always smile when I did that and kiss my fingers. I would take my hand back on for you to grab it and pull me towards you.

I remember one night during a thunderstorm. It was the perfect night. I was so content just sitting there. I was thinking that it just had to be the perfect moment. Then you made it all the more flawless. At first I though it was a joke. Or maybe my mind was playing tricks on me.

Ginny sat on her porch with the man she loved. She was scared to tell him of her feelings though. She was especially hesitant in this perfect moment. She did not want to ruin the best night of her life. He had showed up for dinner five minutes late. She didn't mind. She had needed to extra five minutes to set the table.

After they had finished eating he had moved the couch onto the porch. Ginny had transfigured an umbrella into a makeshift roof over the couch. They were both lying down on the couch. Ginny had her head on his arm and he was making a trail of soft kisses up her neck. She was enjoying the feeling of his hands and lips on her. She did not even notice when he stopped his journey to her lips.

He gently grabbed her chin and directed her eyes at his. He smiled slightly and kissed her nose before looking into her eyes once again. He stayed like that for a long time before giving her a long drugging kiss that left her breathless.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"What?"

"I love you," he repeated louder this time.

Ginny smiled and a tear ran down her face. She savored the moment incase it wasn't real. She smiled up at him and kissed him.

"This is the part where you say 'I love you to' or chase me out of the apartment" he pushed. He was nervous she could tell. It was adorable.

"I love you to" she said as he brushed the tear away.

*

'Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen

Waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks

A wild fire born of frustration

Born of the one love that gets me so high

I've no fear at all

*

I am six months pregnant now and I can't hide it anymore. Everyone is asking so many questions. All of them are questions I can't answer. It all reminds me of you and I can't stand the memories anymore. I don't want to remember the pain anymore. My mom is helping a bit though she doesn't know it. I moved out of the apartment and moved in with her and dad again. I ca not work while I am pregnant so I can't pay rent. Mom doesn't mind having me around to help with the house. Money has not been tight since the joke shop and Dad being promoted to Minister.

You would have loved to be here the other day. Ron came to visit from Ireland. He is there for ten months for some Quidditch thing. When he walked into the living room and saw me I swear he was about to faint. His face was redder than his hair. Fred and George were in their element bugging him about the look on his face. He has a girlfriend now. Katie Bell. I knew he always had a thing for older girls after that Fleur episode. Good thing Hermione got over him. She is happily married to Fred now. But then maybe you would not care bout all this. If you were here you would listen just to make me happy. But you aren't here.

I remember that day Ron walked in on us. He still hasn't revealed the secret. I think he wants to make up for all those years he left me to hang out with his friends. Which evidently lead to me getting to know you better. It was absolutely priceless the look on his face.

Ginny sat on her couch waiting for him to come. When he did she could feel the worries of the day melt away. There was only him and the darkness receded. He sat down beside her and placed a small feathery light kiss on her lips. She pouted a bit when he pulled away.

"What's the matter love?" he asked.

"I haven't seen you for three days and that's the best kiss you can give me?" she responded.

"Sorry want me to try again?" he smiled.

He didn't wait for her to answer. He placed another kiss on her lips before using his tongue to ask for entry. When she opened her mouth he explored it with his tongue thoroughly before nibbling on her lip a bit. She slowly started to unbutton his shirt when a crack sounded through the apartment. She didn't let him pull away though. Instead she pulled him into another breathtaking kiss. That was when Ron entered coming out of the kitchen.

Later after everything had settled everything they laughed at his reaction. The headache that had come souvenir of his yelling was gone. Peaceful quiet filled the room after awhile and they both fell asleep. He woke up once and decided the couch had no room. He carried Ginny to her bedroom and after making sure she was tucked in he joined her in the bed. Pulling her close to him and putting an arm around her waist.

*

To fall so deep into

Lose myself completely

In your sweet embrace

All my pains erased

*

I woke up that morning after the Ron incident. The feeling of waking up to feel your arms around me had me smiling nonstop. I made breakfast. The idea and energy came from nowhere. I just got up and made pancakes eggs bacon and hash browns. The coffee was ready when you got up. We both sat down and ate. You read the daily prophet while I read Witch Weekly.

It struck me as funny then when I opened to page to see a picture of you. Apparently you were one of the most eligible bachelors in London. I couldn't hide my laughter as much as I knew I should. Your big head did not need any more air to fill it. I need not have worried though. I remember laughing more as you read through the article.

"They have got this all wrong. The whole article is completely off" he scoffed. "I do not drink Pina Coladas. They are girly drinks. I also do not wear briefs. I have certainly never danced salsa whatever that is. This whole thing is a lie!"

"Do you dance at all?" Ginny asked curious.

"Yes. I was taught ballroom dance before I went to Hogwarts."

"Salsa is much more fun" Ginny replied.

"Oh really? Show me then..."

*

From your mouth it's all that I wish

The mercy of your lips just one kiss

Until I can breath again

Until I can sing again

*

I could see you again just once I would die happy. I am more miserable than ever now. The pain of missing you is even worse now. It has mixed in with my mood swings. I have been getting back pains as well and I am a whale. I am just under nine months pregnant. I can't stand up without help. I can't sit down without taking five minutes. I am restless waiting for something to happen. I just don't know what it is. Maybe I am still waiting for you. I know somewhere in my heart I am.

I can't wait until I have my newborn baby in my arms. Our newborn. I still dream of you coming back someday and us both raising the baby together. Its stupid I know. I just can't help myself sometimes. I miss you so much I can't think sometimes. The pain just overwhelms me and I sit and cry. Nobody knows who you are. They don't know anything. So my crying is passed of as hormones.

So I sit and I remember everything. I remember your strong arms and how they felt around me. I recollect your soft lips and how they felt against mine. I remember your eyes and how I could get lost in them for hours and never find anything. It didn't matter then though. You would just tell me everything. Or I would kiss you. I could always tell how you were feeling when we kissed. That is how I knew you cared about me. That is how I knew you loved me before you told me. I could feel the emotion you put into those kisses.

*

'Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen

Waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks

A wild fire born of frustration

Born of the one love that gets me so high

I've no fear at all

*

It is almost time to go to the hospital. I have been having small contractions all day. My water broke and everyone is rushing around the house. I am calm for the most part. My father is Apparating me to the hospital now. The nurses are rushing around as well now trying to get me into a bed quickly. I won't walk fast though. I walk calmly and slowly waiting for something that will never happen. I am not afraid anymore. I think I have come to terms with the loss of your love even if I will always love you.

*

To fall so deep into you

Lose myself completely

In your sweet embrace

All my pains erased

*

A tall and respectful man strode through the doors of St. Mungo's. Walking briskly over to the receptionist's desk. She hardly spared him a glance when he asked for her. The one he had left.

"I am sorry sir but only family can be with her at this time" she replied not looking up from her magazine.

"I demand that you let me see her" he insisted.

"I am sorry but only..." she stopped talking as he ripped the magazine out of her hand.

"I am the baby's father" he replied in a low menacing voice. "Now tell me where she is."

The nurse gave him an alarmed look and told him the room number. After she did he threw the magazine back at her and left for the room cloak bellowing out behind him. He found the waiting area to come upon the whole Weasley clan and some extras sitting there. They did not notice him until he started towards the door.

"What do you think you are doing here" Ron Weasley stood up looking impatient.

"I have come to see your sister Weasley" he replied.

"Why is that?"

"I came to see her because I wanted to" he answered calmly. The complete opposite of how he felt.

"Why would you want to see a Weasley giving birth?" came his reply.

"I came to see her because I wanted to see her. Besides that Weasley being born is my son," the man replied. With that he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

Ginny Weasley pushed with all her might as a contraction hit her again. She could feel her hair plastered to her face from sweat. She could hear the doctor telling her that it was almost over.

It better be almost bloody over after eight bleeding hours

She refused to open her eyes and concentrated all her energy on the next contraction. She was thinking that it would be nice to have someone encouraging her when she felt hands on her own. She knew those hands. But they couldn't be here with her. She was dreaming. All that wishful thinking had become an illusion to support her.

"Come on Gin you can do it" his voice cut into her thoughts. She opened her eyes immediately and saw him standing beside her.

All six feet and five inches of him stood by the bed. The cool eyes unaffected by emotion looked into her brown eyes. His silvery blonde hair fell into his face as he leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead. His elegant fingers were holding one of her hands and his other hand was rubbing her back.

"Draco?" she whispered.

"I am right here Gin. I am not going to leave this time," he answered.

"Ok time to push one last time" the doctor said. "Come on I can see the head and the hands just a little more."

The baby's cries filled the room as the doctor cut the umbilical cord. He handed the baby to a nurse who washed the baby off and wrapped it in a small blanket. The nurse handed to the baby to Draco who immediately took it to Ginny. She had tears coming down her face.

"Look at our little baby boy" he said and she smiled. Her face was glowing.

"I knew you would come back," she whispered.

Draco leaned down and gave her feather light kiss on her lips. She turned her attention to the nurse who was explaining that she might want to try feeding the baby soon. After everything was all cleaned up Ginny's family came in. They all stood on the opposite side of the bed as Draco. They glared at him.

"I want all of you to stop that right now," Ginny said quietly still holding her baby. "You will get along with him or at least be civil."

"You can't be serious Gin. He is an evil bastard..." Ron began.

"I dare you to finish that sentence Ronald" Ginny said dangerously.

The rest of the family chose to stay silent. They spoke civilly to Draco if they had to at all. They did not go out of their way to make him feel welcome. Well all but Bill's youngest daughter. She was three years old. She was walking around in a little green dress with a soother stuck in her mouth. She was holding onto a small stuffed toy that looked like a fairy.

Draco watched her as she tugged on her dad's pants and said something along the lines of 'bafwoom'. Bill did not notice as he was currently holding the newborn. Draco smiled as she looked around the room. When her big green eyes reached his she made a decision. She marched over to him and began tugging at his pants this time saying 'bafwoom' a little louder.

Draco picked her up and told Ginny that he would be right back. No one but Ginny noticed he took Hailey with him. The girl looked absolutely gleeful and was giggling as Draco took her to the bathroom. Hailey was quite mature for her age and when they reached the bathroom she squirmed until he put her down. She marched to a stall turned around and pointed to the floor in front of the door as if to say 'wait here' then she closed the door and locked it.

When she got out she went over to the sinks and looked at Draco expectantly. He picked her up so she could reach the sink where she happily washed her hands. This took an amazing amount of time, as she made sure her hands were very lathered. Then she dried them with paper towel and through that in the garbage. Then she grabbed Draco's hand and pulled him back to the baby's room.

On the way she slowed down to see an animal machine and some vending machines. Draco noticed the look of longing on the girls face. He handed her two sickles. She used one for the vending machine and the other for the animal machine. Draco helped her win a big stuffed Hippogriff. Hailey was grinning from ear to ear when they went back to Ginny's room carrying the Hippogriff and some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

She said thank you to Draco before marching over to Ginny's bed and giving the Hippogriff and a big kiss to the baby. The entire Weasley clan save Ginny stared at Draco amazed. He began to look a little annoyed.

"What?"

"You just helped her to get a toy for the baby" Ron said in a deathly whisper.

"She had to go to the bathroom and Bill was holding the baby so I took her. I gave her a couple sickles on the way back so she could win a prize and get some candy," Draco explained slowly.

Ginny was smiling widely as she saw the exchange happen slowly.

"You shouldn't go off with strangers Hailey" Bill scowled.

"I am not a stranger I'm her favorite uncle right Hailey?" Draco said winking at her.

"Yesh!" Hailey answered trying to rip open the pack of candy she received.

"There are pigs flying somewhere" Charlie interrupted. "A Malfoy and a Weasley now this is something."

"This is preposterous. We are her favorite uncles!" Fred and George cried. They were the more laid-back people in the family. Besides they also knew that Gin was stubborn and wouldn't care what her family thought.

"I for one think that the Malfoy's despite some exceptions are quite the respectable family. It is good to meet you personally," Percy announced importantly. Draco shook his proffered hand looking slightly uneasy.

Fred and George stood up immediately and marched over. George pushed Percy out of the way. "Simply smashing to meet you once again!"

"Yes unbelievably mad as it is! Welcome to our family" Fred followed pushing George aside.

"Thanks for taking my daughter to the bathroom. Pleasure to meet you" Bill followed laughing at his brothers.

"Suppose I can't beat you up since Gin would shoot me. Watch for her right hook I taught her that one. It hurts" Charlie said. "Welcome to the family."

Last were Ron and Harry who had remained silent the whole entire time.

"Guess everyone deserves a second chance" Ron said reluctantly.

"If Ginny is happy than I guess I can be civil" Harry agreed.

Ginny's parents were busy with the baby and would talk to him later. Hermione greeted him when she showed up later on. The rest of the large Weasley clan was visiting tomorrow.

Draco spent the most of the visit playing with Hailey. The Weasleys were in a huge crowd around the bed. When they finally had to go home Draco was glad. He wanted some time alone with Ginny. She was breast-feeding the baby when he set a chair beside her bed and sighed.

"Gin there is something I want to ask you," he said.

"What is it?" she asked. She was smiling down at the baby and only glanced at Draco before her eyes went back to the baby.

"I spent that last nine months thinking about you and the baby. I know I want to be a father to the baby. I also know that I love you. I know I left you to work for my father. I also changed and became an Order member. I come back to you a changed man. So Gin I have to ask you..." He paused. Draco turned in his seat and took out a small box from his cloak that lay on the chair. He got off the chair and knelt on his knee. Opening the box he looked into her eyes. "Will you marry me?"

Ginny stared at the man she had loved for so long and couldn't get the words out. She was in shock. The whole world seemed to stop as silent tears of happiness trickled down her face.

Then she finally burst out. "Yes I will marry you!"

Draco smiled and put the ring he held on her finger. It was a small diamond surrounded by small emeralds. He gave her a long kiss that made up for all the lost time. They were interrupted as a small cry came from the baby.

"Do you want to burp him?" Ginny asked.

Draco nodded and placed a blanket on his shoulder. He lifted the baby up and held him in place as he massaged the baby's back.

"What should we call him?" Draco asked.

"I was thinking about Damian Arthur Weasley Malfoy." Ginny had been thinking of the name since her fifth month.

"After my grandfather?"

"Of course I loved your grandfather you know. I never had one of my own and he was always so kind," Ginny said.

"I like that name." Draco looked down at his son and repeated the name Damian under his breath.

"Good. So do I" Ginny replied.

Ginny watched Draco with the baby for a little while longer before she fell asleep. After which Draco watched her as he rocked his son to sleep. They looked like each other in their sleep. Each had a half smile and a little dimple. Both had red hair. They even had identical sighs that escaped their lips during sleep. He smiled as he watched them both thinking he was the luckiest man on earth.