The Sleepers Awake

Chapter 13: Bad Moon Rising

Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey decided to stay in New York City for an extra few days. They would return to Hogwarts only briefly before joining Erszhebet and Severus in France. The lure of shopping in the Big Apple was too much the two to resist and it took everyone's minds off the storm clouds gathering in Eastern Europe. As yet there had been no mentions in the Muggle media, at least nothing that stood out.

There had not been a repeat of the psychic attack on Erszhebet; however Severus was resolved that she would be taught how to defend herself against it should it happen again. He would not give voice to the fact that deep down he was worried, very worried. He himself had never experienced or known of such an extreme execution of that technique. Severus Snape was strong despite any insecurities or apparent flaws in personality, one of his more positive qualities. He now had even more of a reason to stay strong; Erszhebet needed him. It felt good, if he was honest, to be needed by someone who actually cared about him as Erszhebet did.

Poppy had been aching beyond comprehension to see the rest of Erszhebets loft once the novelty of shopping had worn off. It had not exactly worn off; she was always curious to know what was behind a closed door - especially if it was locked. She was not to be put off any longer. Erszhebet had not always been with them during their excursions; she had some things to do related to work she'd said as she smiled. No explanation of her work was given. However, even with them out of the loft it was not always easy to focus; someone had been ringing her and then would hang up after hearing her say hello a few times. Erszhebet decided not to say anything to Severus; it was probably nothing she thought. That sort of thing happened all the time. It did not seem likely that Dark Wizards would be bothered with the telephone when a psychic attack would yield a direct hit.

Finally, Poppy could stand it no longer. The mystery of what Erszhebet did for a living had to be solved. Over yet another sumptuous breakfast prepared by Erszhebet - cinnamon French Toast with a hint of pure vanilla, butter and maple syrup; omelettes with peppers and onions; herb sausage; apple and cinnamon porridge with a hint of brown sugar; cappuccinos; and herb tea all around - Poppy dove right in as was her tendency to do.

"Nice place you got here, haven't seen the rest yet but like what I see so far; how do you afford all this anyway?" she asked as she piled her plate high with food. "And when do we get to see the rest?"

"Poppy is it not possible for you to get through one day and not ask impertinent questions or eat us out of house and home?" hissed Severus with a venomous look.

"Should know better than that, Severus," she replied ignoring the fact that yet again he would probably like to strangle her. "How about it Severina?"

"I was wondering how much longer it would take before you broke down," smiled Erszhebet.

"Through your artwork yes?" suggested Severus trying to end this invasion of Erszhebets privacy. "It would appear to be a particularly strong talent you possess."

"Something like that," Erszhebet answered with a sly smile.

Poppy was squirming in her chair to everyones amusement.

"Is there an itch that needs scratching Poppy?" asked Professor McGonagall wryly.

"Severina might I suggest you put Poppy out of her misery so that we can eat in peace for a change," said Severus silkily.

"Go on, Severina," whined Poppy.

Silence with a smirk.

Erszhebet was enjoying this. She sensed that it was not often that anyone got a chance to get one over on Poppy.

"Ooooh all right," said Erszhebet trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

All eyes were upon her now, including Severus'. He had presumed that given her obvious talent with art and design that that is what she did for a living. Therefore her coyness about the subject made no sense.

"I am a singer/songwriter/composer - plus I produce and play quite a few instruments on my CDs," said Erszhebet quietly. "I have also done some acting in films and the theatre."

"You sing - and write music, play more than one instrument and do what?!" shouted Poppy.

"I can show you later," replied Erszhebet before tucking back into her porridge with a tone that suggested she was speaking of nothing more interesting than the weather.

"Ooooo," said Poppy excitedly. "So are you well-known then, got fans and everything like the Wyrd Sisters?"

"Well...I...I...yes I am," said Erszhebet matter-of-factly with a resigned sigh as she rolled her eyes to signify she did not take all of this as serious as other people might. She had no clue who the Wyrd Sisters were and said so.

"I am, well - sort of famous everywhere except here in America; usually I manage to keep a low profile," said Erszhebet. "I don't have bodyguards or an extensive entourage; no outrageous behaviours outside of my videos, concerts and the films. But it is easier to be 'normal' here than anywhere else. Although I do sometimes get people who come up to me now and again; I don't mind it, except at a restaurant. I would be nothing without my supporters. Everywhere else I try to be as low key as possible. I am lucky, I don't get harassed as much as other people do, mostly people just look. They do not usually believe it's me. I rarely do interviews or things like that. As far as the public are concerned my life is a mystery and I prefer to maintain my privacy this way."

"You are...famous - a celebrity?" asked Severus incredulously with a tone of annoyance in his voice. Harry Potter had suddenly popped in his head.

"Does it bother you, Severus?" asked Erszhebet looking as if she had been slapped. She suddenly realised that in a way she had achieved something akin to what Severus had indicated he wanted for himself. She had risen above her 'low station', was respected and sometimes honoured for her talents and achievements. If Severus were bothered he would not be the first. No, not by a long shot.

"Miss Bathory you surprise me yet again," he replied slowly as he regarded her with an intense stare. Severus did not look pleased by what he had just heard.

"So after all these years someone and something finally has, eh Severus," said Poppy with a cackle. "No wonder you finally have a love life."

Severus looked as though he could wring Poppys neck any minute. Either that or he was going to burst a blood vessel.

"But, does it bother you Severus; it would seem it does," said Erszhebet tensely. She looked down and moved her spoon around her porridge and bit her bottom lip.

Severus could see that she was no longer smiling. He had not meant to be unpleasant with her. "Severina I am not going to pretend that it hasn't unsettled me - it has. It - it is yet something else about you to get my head around. If I sounded - If I sounded a bit off with you, it is because the notion of your celebrity and being around it reminded me of someone else. Someone from the Wizarding world. Although that person did nothing to deserve to be famous or celebrated," he replied bitterly.

Minerva and Poppy both shot Severus looks. They knew full well he was referring to Harry Potter "The Boy Who Lived and then Lived Again." Although Potter would not have survived in the second instance had it not been for Severus. Yet another fact which Mr. Potter and most of the rest of the Order tended to conveniently overlook in their insistence upon not liking or trusting Severus. They only barely tolerated him because of Dumbledore. They had to though they would prefer to be well shot of him.

Professor McGonagall discreetly nudged Poppy so that she would keep silent for a change.

Severus quickly changed the subject. "Might we experience any of these entertainments of yours?" he asked as he helped himself to some more French Toast and maple syrup. His mind was racing though. "She will never want to walk away from a life like that," said the little voice inside him. "She will never give that up for you. You have nothing to offer her, Snivellus, you bastard."

"Of course," said Erszhebet. "I had planned on it; I just was not sure how to broach the subject, with everything else the timing had not been right until now. How about after dinner; can you wait that long, Poppy?"

Before Poppy could speak Severus answered, "I am sure that will be just fine, wont it Poppy!" he hissed.

"Er, right, right. Too right, Severus," replied Poppy. Dinner be hanged, she was ready now.

Severus looked at his timepiece. "We should get going Minerva; the sooner we get this over with the sooner we can be back," he said grimly. Which could only mean that the two women would end up shopping again rather than doing anything Severus was interested in; Erszhebet needed to work on some new songs and staging before Paris and could not go this time around.

"Severus, why don't you stay here? We know where we are going now and can get one of those little Muggle taxis they have here," suggested Professor McGonagall.

RING, RING - Just then the phone rang.

"Excuse me, please while I get that," said Erszhebet.

She picked up the cordless phone. "'Allo?" she said softly with a sigh. She was expecting the usual dead silence at the other end. There was a moment's hesitation.

"Hello, Beth."

An unexpected voice from her past shook Erszhebet to her core.

[[[]]]

A shocked look played over Erszhebets face and all colour drained from it. She looked as though she was not sure what to do or that she would faint. She felt the eyes of her breakfast companions upon her and Poppy's ears burning. She walked to her soundproofed music room and closed the door behind her.

As she walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows on the opposite side of the room the door popped open a bit. Erszhebet had always meant to have a locksmith have a look at the bolt; she just had not gotten around to it. She put her caller on the speakerphone. Her hands were shaking too much to hold the cordless handset.

"Are you still there?" said the slightly hoarse voice at the other end.

Rain had started to fall; changes in the weather always affected the phone connection. His voice was not clear, but there was no doubt for Erszhebet as to whom she was speaking to.

"Yes," she replied after considerable hesitation. "I...I was not expecting to hear from you. Are you OK? How are you doing?" Erszhebet was trying desperately not to loose control. She strained to be polite. Oh, Goddess this was difficult. Very difficult indeed, my Goddess why should she care how he was doing?

"I am, ahh, ok. You know how it goes - could be better, much better. But I am getting by, somewhat," said the voice at the other end. "And you, how about you?"

Erszhebet sighed in spite of herself.

"O dear, I know that sigh. Come on my love - tell me what's wrong," he said.

"What could be wrong? Except that I have not seen or heard from you directly in what - quite a few years now," replied Erszhebet.

"I've missed you Beth; I have missed you so much, and I have never ever stopped loving you," said the voice at the other end regretfully.

"You left, remember?" replied Erszhebet coolly although she felt anything but calm. He always did call her Beth, as had Jean-Hughes.

It had always touched Erszhebet in the same way, the love and affection that was there for her whenever she needed it. Or at least it had been until he walked out on her.

"You know why, I thought I had no choice," he said softly. "But I still love you Beth. Nothing has changed that. In fact, things are just making it even more plain to me."

"I needed you; I needed you so much." Erszhebets voice started to crack. "It was so hard...after...after everything."

"You still love me Beth," said the voice. "I know you do."

"Part of me will always love you - we have too much history for me not to. But it is too late," said Beth. "Things have changed. I cannot lie about that. But the love I had for you has changed and my life has changed. I had to get on with living without you and...and....I could not handle it. It nearly destroyed me." Oh she could not give voice to her thoughts, no she could not. Not another nervous breakdown, no not another one.

Erszhebet started to cry. She could not help herself. She sobbed heavily and tried to muffle the noise.

Her caller was not fooled. He knew her well. Truth be told he knew Erszhebet better than anyone with the notable exception of Papa and Mama T, and even Erszhebet herself.

"Beth, I need to see you; I want to see you again," he said.

"NO! Don't. If it were some time ago I might have been weak enough to consider it. But now, things are different," said Erszhebet. "I am sorry - but I had to move on and try to get over you and cope without you. I needed you. You abandoned me - you abandoned me...and it has taken too much for me to get myself together again."

She was crying softly now and put her head in her hands without speaking.

There was nothing but silence at the other end, but the caller had not hung up yet.

Finally he spoke. "Beth, I was wrong. Goddess knows I was wrong. I thought I was doing the right thing for everyone. I made a mistake, a horrible mistake."

"Yes, yes you did," replied Erszhebet. "The only person you needed to consider was me and you did not do that. You didn't, not at all."

"Please, Beth. Don't be like this. At least let me see you. Just hear me out please. That is all I am asking," said her caller. He knew when Erszhebet was being stubborn. It could drive him mad - how she could dig her heels in and not budge. He still loved her though.

Silence.

"Please, Beth, please...," he begged in that slightly hoarse voice of his.

Erszhebet sighed. Who was she kidding, she never could resist him - but this time she needed some answers. They needed to have it out. "I will be in Paris in a couple of days for about a week and then at the country house for the rest of the summer," she said.

"Ahh, the country house...," he chuckled. "You are still as modest as ever I see."

Sillence.

Her caller had left one question to be answered. "Is there someone else, Beth?" he asked.

"Yes. Yes there is someone else in my life now," said Erszhebet firmly without hesitation. "And I love him; I love him with all my heart and soul," said Erszhebet. "I will not hurt him, we have already been through enough ourselves. I love him and I am determined to try and make this work."

"Try....you have to 'try and make it work'...it does not sound like you are convinced it can, Beth," he replied softly.

"That's not fair. Don't do this to me, please. If you love me as you claim you still do then don't do this to me," said Erszhebet.

"How long?" asked her caller. "How long have you been with this person?"

Erszhebet knew that he was hurt, she always knew when he was hurt. She knew it in spite of the bad phone connection. But it was not her fault or her problem, unless she allowed it to be. "Why, it doesn't matter," she said.

"Yes, my love, it does," he replied. "How long?"

Erszhebet never could lie to him. "Almost a week now, as of Saturday," she said.

Her caller was incredulous. "Are you serious?? Almost a week - just a few days?"

Erszhebet was getting angry.

"The amount of time does not matter. I know that we have something good, something lasting," she said. "He is my twin soul - the cords are there. Heart to heart and soul to soul. And what we feel....,"

"Twin souls does not necessarily mean that the relationship is meant to be an intimate or romantic one, Beth, you know that as well as I do he just may be in your life temporarily so that the two of you can learn and grow in a way that would not have happened otherwise," he said wisely. "I am assuming that you have a physical relationship, so soon," He had a pained expression at the thought of this. Erszhebet was sure of it so well did she know him. It was as if they were one, as if they were indeed Twin Souls.

Silence.

"Beth, is it not interesting that not once has either of us ever thought to ascertain the exact nature of our connectedness? Does that not tell you something - we have never once contemplated it, not before or especially after...after everything," he said in his usual gentle manner. "Is it not also interesting that I had to ask you about this relationship rather than you just telling me."

"This is different, very different," replied Erszhebet her voice rising with a quiver. "Don't try and turn this around on me, it's not right and you bloody well know it!"

"You can try to convince yourself, but that does not mean that this new relationship is what you think it is; what you want to believe it is," he said gently.

"I could say the same about us," hissed Erszhebet angrily. "I convinced myself once that we would always be together and that I finally had someone who would love me, be strong for himself and for me, take care of me and protect me and...and...," Erszhebet could not say it, she could not finish her thought, she could not speak the words. Goddess help her, no she could not go there.

Erszhebet took a deep breath.

"That certainly was not the case was it!" she spat.

"Beth, we need to discuss this like the adults that we are. I am not going to fight with you, and not like this," he replied.

He paused.

"But I ask you to consider just how strong this fledgling relationship of yours is, Beth. Do you both know all that you should about each other? How strong can it be in such a short time...'with everything you have gone through'...that does not bode well for a few days, surely?" he asked quietly. He knew enough to know when Erszhebet as digging in her heels against all reason. "You have a lot to consider, my love," he said. "All I can ask for the moment is that you please do that; consider what I have said."

"I am not your love," Erszhebet hissed. "I am not, do not say it again. You forfeited that right the day you walked out on me. And I don't have anything to consider."

Silence from the other end. Her caller always knew when to just leave her be.

"I had better let you go, Beth," he said softly. "I will see you soon."

"Or not - whatever," said Erszhebet testily.

Her caller chuckled and then sighed. Honestly, he could always predict her reaction and knew how best to handle her. He always refused to rise to the bait and it had always rankled Erszhebet to no end. "I will see you soon. Take care, my love. I love you, even if you think you do not want me to," he said gently.

Click.

Just like that he was gone.

[[[]]]

"AAAAHHHHH, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!" Erszhebet roared as she picked up a crystal vase of flowers and hurled it again a wall.

Erszhebet then collapsed on the large overstuffed sofa in the room and cried. All the emotion that she'd had to keep in check all these years threatened to consume her. She cried and wailed and could not stop, so lost and overwhelmed was she by what had just happened and by the surfacing memories which she had worked very hard to keep repressed.

The door to the soundproofed room opened all the way.

There stood Severus watching her in stunned silence. He had heard everything word for word between them. Ironically, he had not placed the voice. If he had his subsequent reaction might have been different, very different indeed. Erszhebet was not to know it, but the rain that she loved so much which quieted the Big Apple was a blessing, and a major one at that.

Severus walked quietly over to the woman he knew he loved and pulled her up into his arms silently and held her. They would remain like this for the next hour or so. Even in silence no one could deny that Severus Snape was strong and very determined. It was his strength and determination that Erszhebet needed and which would carry them through the obstacles ahead.

Erszhebet had broken down utterly and completely. She could not speak and she could not think - there were no words, only tears, heartache and devastatingly tragic memories. But not the heartache of a former lover, no, this was something else. She was so lost in her grief that she did not realise that Severus was there holding her.

Severus was stunned by the force of his lovers' emotional breakdown. All he could do was wonder what it was at the root of it. Surely it was a bit more than just a broken relationship - it had sounded as much. He had questions, Gods how he had questions; but wisely he thought it best for a change to keep his counsel. Especially since Minerva was not around to help pick up the pieces.

Severus had an uneasy sense that he was about to be challenged yet again. Just being able to hold Erszhebet and to offer comfort was in itself a challenge to him. But not one that Severus minded. Whoever her caller was - he was not going to take Erszhebet from Severus. No. Severus would fight for her, but deep down hoped he would not have to, that she would not be tempted by her former lover. Her former lover was certainly determined to tempt her.

"Why, Severus, why do you not trust her?" said the little voice inside him.

Then came the answer, also from inside, "Because you are not loveable and you do not truly love, there will always be someone better than you for her."

"No, no, I love her," whispered Severus, "She loves me, I know she does - how long we have been together does not matter." He looked at his lover who had cried herself to sleep in his embrace and smoothed her hair.

"You will fuck it up, Snivellus," said the little voice. "You will drive her away from you."

"No, no I won't. I am as determined as she is to make this work, to make it last," whispered Severus. "I love her and she loves me."

"See how she cried for him, she years for him - can you compete with that, Snivelly?" his damned conscious would not rest.

"No she is not; I don't know what it is but I know - I have to believe that she is not crying for him; that she does not want him," whispered Severus.

"Aww how sweet, but you don't really believe that now do you, Sniv?" said the little voice sarcastically. "Sweetness is just so not you. Certainly seems to be easy for him. No contest there. No wonder she cries for him. It's him she wants, not you."

Severus buried the little voice deep inside where it could not bother him. He sat there holding Erszhebet. He was not going to push, but he had too many questions, questions which needed answering. It was not really his business - but how could he not after her breakdown.

"She does not want him; she said so and I have to believe her," he said aloud in his usually cool and determined manner. "There is nothing for me to worry about. She is mine. I will take it as it comes."

Not knowing the story of that particular liaison, Severus had no idea that it was not herself or even her former lover than Erszhebet had cried over. It was for an altogether different reason. It was an incontrovertible truth that would rock him to his core once it was revealed and challenge everything he believed including old prejudices and grudges which had not as yet died a merciful death.

Taking it as it comes was not going to be simple or easy, no matter how much Severus tried to reassure himself otherwise in that moment.