The Sleepers Awake

Chapter 10: Dinner with Erszhebet

The four dinner companions sat around the table just as the sun sank below the horizon. The room was awash in a golden glow from the numerous candles which Severus had lit. Erszhebet lit some incense in the hanging Moroccan burners mainly to aid herself in relaxing.

After donning a fetching pale blue Pashmina over her shoulders, Erszhebet had laid out the table beautifully with red and royal blue dinnerware trimmed in gold and matching stemware. Succulent dishes of spicy lamb, chicken curry, new potatoes, runner beans with onion and bacon, hummus, mango chutney and a basket of naan bread graced the table. There was also a platter of vegetables for dipping and several dipping sauces. Severus had opened two bottles of wine and there was also a large pot of Darjeeling tea as well as Apple Juice. Erszhebet was not one for alcohol. Every dish was on a portable warmer. As a centerpiece there was a small garland of lilacs that Severus had pruned from one of Erszhebets pots which surrounded a black iron candle holder in which 9 candles were lit in colourful glass containers.

Severus could not help but to feel proud of Erszhebets efforts. She wanted it to be special she had told him. She doubted he or his friends ever had anything like this at Hogwarts and wanted to make a good impression. Of course she was right; although the Hogwarts food was delicious; the school only served traditional British Wizarding and Muggle fare.

It had fascinated Severus to watch her cook; Erszhebets face was a model of concentration as she prepared, weighed and measured ingredients precisely. She followed her recipe books closely; only making the appropriate substitutions for any missing ingredients and she cleaned up as she went along. Severus wondered what she had been like as a student. He had no doubts Erszhebet would make an excellent Potions Mistress, especially with her Chemistry interests. If she allowed it, Severus wanted to teach her, to share his work and his knowledge with her. But he would wait until the time was right before broaching the subject. One thing was certain; Severus Snape had made up his mind and was resolute in his determination that Erszhebet would be an integral part of his life.

Once everyone had been seated and served Poppy wasted no time as she tucked into her dinner after 'oohing' and 'aahing' over the place settings. "So tell us, my dear, how is it that you knew Severus was a Wizard?"

"Merlin's Beard, Poppy," said Professor McGonagall exasperatedly. "Can't the poor woman even have something to eat first? Severus was right; you do have the subtlety of a dung bomb!"

"It's all right, It's not like I didn't know this was coming," replied Erszhebet forlornly aware that all eyes were on her. She looked frightened and her hands were shaking. She knew it was not rational to be like this; but she felt outnumbered. She felt like it was the three of them and just her as the outsider.

Severus was seated next to Erszhebet on the small sofa which had been pulled up to the table; he sensed correctly what she was probably feeling and reached out and placed a comforting hand over one of them, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Take your time; it's alright," he said softly leaning over and whispering in her ear so that only the two of them could hear. "You are not alone, my love, I am here for you, ok." He kissed her on the cheek and did not let go of her hand as he began to eat. Severus didn't give a toss what anyone thought of his public display of affection.

Erszhebet needed him now and he was not going to let her down again.

Erszhebet took a deep breath.

"I know some people from your world; the Wizarding world," she said quietly.

You could hear a pin drop so silent and still was everyone in the room.

"In Quebec City and then in Paris, when I was a child, I used to walk around at night a lot - looking in people's houses. I still do it actually. Old habits die hard - in my case they don't die at all. Anyway, I used to wonder what the lives of the people who lived in these houses were like. It used to fascinate me to see families, especially families with children. It still does. How they talk to each other. How they share things with each other. How they love each other. I used to fantasise that I was one of them whenever I found a house that was particularly pleasing," Erszhebet began.

"What were you doing out on the streets at night?" barked Poppy.

"Poppy! For heaven's sake let her speak," chided Professor McGonagall. "Go on Severina - ignore her she just gets too excited."

"Too bloody nosy is more the truth," scowled Severus as he put his other arm around Erszhebets shoulders. But he was wondering the same thing as the other two women. Why a child would be wandering the streets at night; and a girl at that.

Erszhebet continued. "It got to the point where I would get on the Metro and get off and on exploring different neighbourhoods. One night in one of the premiere arrondisements I came across this house set back in its own grounds behind magnificent gates. The lights were blazing in the house and it looked so pretty and grand from the street - well what I could see of it behind the trees anyway. I scaled the fence to get a better look; I nearly broke my neck. It was the house of a Wizarding family; but of course I didn't know that then.

I ran around to the side of the house to get a better look. They were in a most amazing sitting room, a sort of family room I guess - they obviously had money. The children were messing around; trying to do things to each other; silly stuff like changing hair colour and style. Then turning freckles into different coloured polka-dots and then changing the polka-dots into animal shapes and then making the shapes make noise. Their parents were laughing - and then they joined in! I couldn't believe it, any of it!" she said.

Erszhebet shook her head at the pleasant memory and smiled.

Severus gave Erszhebets hand a gentle squeeze. He had not taken his eyes off her from the moment she spoke.

"You should eat, Severus," she chided him gently.

"I am ok; carry on," he said gently. Severus did not want her to worry about him. He was worried about her. He also wanted to know more.

"I couldn't get over it. They were a large family, not dissimilar from mine; 9 children actually, the two parents and grandparents. Not all of the kids were there. I didnt know then that they went off to school when they were of the right age; to a Wizarding School, Beauxbatons, where they boarded. I started coming every night. Just to watch. It was like a living fairytale; but I didn't want to bother them. I just wanted to watch; to see what else they could do. It was nice to not have to think about...other things," Erszhebet cocked her head slightly and bit her lip as she said the last sentence.

Severus stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. He could tell by now when Erszhebet was feeling particularly emotional. Suspicions were growing in his mind; he was praying inwardly that they were not true.

Erszhebet took another deep breath. Everyone else had stopped eating - enraptured by the story and the woman telling it.

"I went every night; didn't matter what the weather was. If I couldn't get money for the Metro then I would hitchhike," Erszhebet then explained what hitchhiking was.

"Dangerous," muttered Poppy with a mouthful of food. The story was fascinating, but her hunger had won out.

"Nothing compared to home," said Erszhebet quickly without thinking as she avoided everyone's gaze.

"Anyway I went in all kinds of weather. It was winter, Christmas Day actually, when I finally met them face to face. I had scaled the wall again in the middle of a raging snowstorm. I was freezing actually, but I didn't care about my thin little jacket and worn-out shoes and pants. They were my imaginary family; the only comfort I had," said Erszhebet quietly.

There was a sharp intake of breath from Severus at this revelation. He could not have ever imagined that Erszhebet d been isolated even in childhood or that she would have had a bad childhood. The implications were obvious to him, or so he thought.

Professor McGonagall remained silent as she picked at her food; conflicting thoughts raging through her head. She would not allow them to intrude on this evening. She pushed them out as fast as they came in.

"Anyway; I had been under the impression that they never knew I was there. I was wrong. I was standing at their big window looking in at them all enjoying their warm fire, the beautiful tree and their presents. I never got any - just got to stay in the attic while everyone else opened theirs or sometimes sit in the corner and watch them.

This family, the Tritignants, they had so many presents and they were definitely expensive. All of the children were home for the holidays. I was so caught up that whole scene that I was not paying attention to my surroundings. But I had always been safe so it just never occurred to me. Without so much as a noise something jumped on me, big and heavy - like a cat but not quite a cat. It looked like it had been hit with an ugly stick," said Erszhebet.

"Kneazle," sputtered Poppy between mouthfuls.

"Yes, that's right," smiled Erszhebet. "Severus your food will get cold," she said eyeng Severus barely touched plate.

"Don't mind me - I will eat in a minute; although I doubt very much that Poppy will leave anything for the rest of us," he said testily, ever the Potions Master.

Poppy was now on her second plate piled high with food.

"Poppy there are no house-elves here refilling these plates," scolded Professor McGonagall.

Severus pulled Erszhebet against him. She settled against his chest and rested her head under his chin as he put his arms around her entwining his fingers once again with hers. She closed her eyes briefly thinking only of how comforting it was to be in Severus' embrace. She needed it. Erszhebet was curious about those house-elves, but would ask about them later.

Professor McGonagall was pleased to see Severus like this; she had always thought that he had this side to him. He was very good at taking care for people when they needed it, when they allowed it, and when he was motivated to do so, rare as it was. It just took the right woman. For once Minerva was pleased to be right, accident or no accident.

Poppy was too engrossed in her food to notice anything. She would beat herself up later when she found out what she ignored.

"Go on love," whispered Severus softly in her ear as Erszhebet curled up on the sofa.

"Well, this thing jumped on me and I couldn't get it off. Apparently it had taken a liking to me and didn't want me to just run off as usual. Of course the family heard the commotion and the older boys came out to see what was going on. And that is how we finally met. One of the boys pulled it off of me and said that I should come inside; that it was crazy, c'est fou, to be outside in weather like that. And so, inside I went," said Erszhebet.

"Strangers, crazy," muttered Poppy between more mouthfuls of food as she poured another glass of wine.

Erszhebet smiled, "I didn't care, Poppy, I still don't; I had nothing to loose you see. Whether I died there or at home did not matter to me. I was not afraid of Death - I would have welcomed it. I still do. The Apocalypse itself could have rained down upon us and I, I would have rejoiced."

Erszhebet felt Severus tighten his arms around her. She was vaguely aware that her story was affecting him powerfully. She knew they would discuss it when they were alone so she continued. She was raising more questions than she was answering.

"So in I went and they started to make such a fuss; I was about 11 years old and they just could not believe that someone so young was roaming the streets of Paris all alone and so late at night. And then the grand-maître piped up about how it was about time that we all finally met; she was tired of me creeping around outside like some common criminal and that they should have just had me in ages ago since it was obvious that I hadn't told anyone about them," said Erszhebet.

"Apparently there had been some discussion about what to do with me for a good while - since I knew about their magic. The grand-père was saying they should wipe my memories and send me on my way; that I was dangerous and that this is what they get for being surrounded by Mugissants like me.

He was quite nasty; un connard, un encul, especially since I was only a child. He made me feel like I was filth; Il m'a traité comme je n'étais pas assez digne pour manger a chier hors de leur toilette - sorry, he made me feel like I was not worthy to eat the shit from their toilet. In fact he actually said that once. I have not forgotten it," said Erszhebet.

Had Erszhebet been able to see her lover's face she would have shocked at the horror and revulsioat Severus obviously felt towards this old man whom he had never met. But she felt it; without a doubt she felt the intense reaction of her lover. The energy coming off of him was like a raging thunderstorm.

Erszhebet continued, "The old man was ranting and raving about how they should move to the countryside. All kinds of mad stuff, some of it very racist too. I mean, look at me. Not white and not pristine either. I thought he was mad. Who was he to make judgments about my colour and about me? Was I so bad because I was not from your world? Who was I going to tell? I didn't have anyone and if I was going to tell I would have done it already. The thought of losing the rest of them hit me like a ton of bricks and I just cried and I cried. I howled the house down I was so upset.

"But the father, Mr Tritignant, he was very kind and so was Mrs T. They sat me down with some hot chocolate - and I was so excited because I had never had it before. And it had marshmallows which I also had not had. I thought they were the best family in the whole world to give me such riches," said Erszhebet.

"Well Papa T. sat down next to me and he asked me gently about myself and why was it that I came every day and even in horrible weather like tonight when most children liked to stay at home with their mamas and papas or with their friends enjoying themselves, celebrating the holiday," Erszhebet looked sad at this memory.

And so I told Papa T. a lie - a whopper of a lie that had more than an element of truth to it - about how I was an orphan and I had no family or friends and that I was plotting my escape to the countryside from the horrible orphanage that I was forced to live in even though everyone there hated me. I told him about how I loved to walk and to see the pretty houses and the people that lived in them and their lovely things. How I loved to see the families who were so good and kind and pretend they were mine and that they all loved me and thought I was clever and wonderful," said Erszhebet quietly.

Professor McGonagall took out a handkerchief and blew her nose. Poppy wiped tears away with her serviette. Severus swallowed hard and blinked back the moistness threatening his eyes, stony faced. However, his mind was racing and inside he was reeling.

Erszhebet was not intending to have this affect on her lover and his friends; but affecting them she was. Particularly Minerva and Severus; although for entirely different reasons as she would discover some months on.

Erszhebet continued. "Papa and Mama T listened to me; they all did. And then he did something that I did not expect; he probed my thoughts."

Severus' mouth dropped open, but before he could speak Poppy interjected. "Land's sake; he used the Legilimens technique on an 11-year old?!"

Severus' face looked thunderous and Poppy wisely returned her attention to her food.

"That was not the first time that someone had done that - but that is another story, suffice it to say that two years earlier someone else had done the same thing - except I don't know who it was. I still don't; I only had the awareness of what he was trying to do and the fact that I heard his voice talking to me inside my head. But I knew I was not crazy. It gave me a headache. Still does." explained Erszhebet.

"Anyway, Papa T. just wanted to find out how truthful I was being to them without resorting to anything too drastic. I don't blame him one bit. In their situation I would have done the same thing. But I allowed him to access my memories. He got rather more than he bargained for in the process I can tell you."

The three Hogwarts colleagues glanced at each other. Erszhebet allowed Mr. Tritignant to access her memories? It was unheard of for a Muggle, being a struggle enough for a trained witch or wizard. And someone else had already done it - and she did not still to this day know who it was. She had heard the man's voice in her head. And headaches, she still gets them. No, that was not right. It was not right at all.

There was more to this Muggle than met the eye; but the woman herself obviously was in the dark about the highly unusual nature of her abilities. There was less and less that was Muggle about her the more they got to know of her; but what was the rest? Of the dinner guests only Minerva McGonagall was aware of the likely truth.

However, Severus knew Erszhebet was stating the facts, albeit rather simplistically and innocently. He himself had experienced some of her extraordinary power first hand. He would have some explaining himself to do when she finished.

"Well, when Papa T. was finished he had the truth alright. He told the family what he saw. Mon Dieu, the commotion in that house. They just couldn't believe it; they were so used to people like themselves; people who were dignified and loving and good. They just could not believe my day- to-day existence.

There were arguments about whether to take me back or to keep me with them. Mama. T and the children were actually quite boisterous about wanting me to stay. Papa T. and the grand-maître as well. But the grand-père, he was not having any of it. He only managed to convince them by reminding them that I was a Mugissant and that the last thing they needed was the Mugissant authorities after them. If they kept me it would be tantamount to kidnapping amongst other things, which of course was the truth as far as the gendarmerie would have been concerned," said Erszhebet.

"In the end, I had to go back home - no matter how much I wanted to be with them. It was just the reality of the situation. My family was not the sort that was going to just hand me over even though they did not want me, even though they hated me. No, I was not going to be happy; they wouldn't have allowed me to just go to such privilege and happiness, no matter who it was," said Erszhebet sadly as she sighed.

"But Mama and Papa T made me promise to always come see them - although I had to stop this business of coming and going at night and it got more and more difficult as I got older. They debated whether or not to give me some sort of object which would bring me to them when I needed it, but it was decided that it was probably safer not to do such a thing.

They were right; goodne knows what would happen if I lost it or if someone at home took it. So back to my miserable life I went; the only consolation was seeing this family when I could, and I still do. After I left home it was much easier. They are dear friends and are very important to me." Erszhebet finished.

Professor McGonagall regarded the young woman with a motherly gaze, "So that is how you know about us, about our world," she said quietly.

Erszhebet nodded in the affirmative, "When I found myself on the floor in the hallway after the incident happened this morning, and I saw Severus' bag with all those things in it I knew. When I saw his wand and he carried me up the stairs and whispered that spell for his trunks; and then cared for me just before...the accident - two plus two still equals four...the things he was using obviously are not Mugissant, even his trunks and cases are not Mugissant," she said. "Most people tend to ignore the strange and unusual especially someplace like New York or Paris; I notice the finer details, or at least I try to. I have always been like that, really."

The room was filled with a contemplative silence. Erszhebet excused herself for a moment. When she returned she resumed her place at Severus' side as the four dinner companions ate in silence. She had brought some photo albums with her from one of the rooms Severus had opted to not go into the night before.

Once they had finished their sumptuous meal and a dessert of chocolate mousse with strawberries and crème-fraîche was in front of them with more tea and hot coffee, Erszhebet pulled them out; here was proof, incontrovertible proof.

"Here, here are some pictures of us - of myself and La Famille T as I call them," she said.

Poppy could not hold back her surprise. Inside each album were Wizarding photographs of Erszhebet and the family. She was obviously much younger in most of them, but her beauty stood out even then. Poppy marveled at what a lovely child she was despite her rather misbegotten and neglected appearance.

Erszhebet sat in Severus' embrace and showed him photographs, speaking quietly pointing out this or that about the family or the surroundings and answering Poppy's incessant questions about the photographs she and Professor McGonagall were looking at.

Severus was in shock. In some of the photographs he was looking at large bruises could be seen on the young girl who was attempting to cover them up or hide them in the photo. Large ugly welts could be seen on her face, arms or legs in some of them depending on what she was wearing and whether or not she could hide her wounds. She never smiled. Sometimes she was bleeding. Despite this there was an air of determination about her.

In another photograph she had a vicious black eye. In yet another it was clearly a hot summer day given the other and the young girl was wearing a heavy cable-knit sweater. In the next series of photographs obviously taken the same day two young boys had chased her good naturedly, pinned her down and took off the sweater, revealing that she was wearing a backless summer top.

There were large bleeding gashes on her back and shoulders. In these pictures too the girl was desperate to hide the wounds, at one point disappearing from the photos altogether when Severus closed his eyes and then looked at them again.

Erszhebet made no comment about the obvious physical abuse she had suffered. There was nothing she was going to say, not at that moment.

"I am sorry, Severina. I was so wrong, so very wrong," said Severus hoarsely. Even though Erszhebet had forgiven him he would never forgive himself and he said so very plainly.

"It is not your fault, Severus," said Professor McGonagall. "I have always refrained from saying this to you directly, but I think it is high time you heard it - from me."

Erszhebet put her arms around Severus. She could see the moistness surfacing in his eyes and she smoothed his hair tenderly - she knew what Minerva was going to say given the conversation she had overheard earlier between the two women. But Erszhebet also knew that neither Poppy nor Minerva had gotten to similar images in their photo albums. No doubt Poppy would have addressed that.

Sh looked at her lover - Severus looked so anguished awash with shame once again at what he had done - at the reality that he had almost killed her. What Severus was beginning to understand about her now had intensified his guilt and shame.

Professor McGonagall regarded the man who had become like a son to her with a graveness she rarely revealed to anyone. It was the look of a mother to her child when imparting a life lesson.

"The life you have had to lead, it is no good Severus," she said firmly. "It has made you suspicious and mistrustful - even when real love and acceptance is staring you in the face. I know, I know; there were questions to be answered, etc. No need to go over that. It's best left behind now.

But the way you act and react, as if you are always on a mission. I don't give two hoots about the Order; the Order be hanged. You need to find out who you are and what it is that you want. Don't continue to live a lie because it suits Albus or the bloody Order. There is more than one way to skin a cat in any situation. I don't think it is right that you are not allowed to just live, to just be.

Poppy and I have both argued with the Headmaster to no end about this. I daresay there will be a few more when we get back. Albus is as much responsible for that accident as you are. He is as much the reason why you are the way you are as you yourself - that and anything else I don't know about you...

He may be the greatest Wizard of the Age, my son, but he is still a man. And as such he has faults as we all do. He miscalculates the needs and limitations of those closest to him. I am not going to go into it - but I am sure as astute as you are you know exactly wat I am talking about. I expect you will tell Severina everything when the time is right. I love the man, you know I do; but all this playing Goddess does nothing but cause more problems than it solves; regardless of Albus' good intentions. Whatever it is that the Headmaster knows, he should be forthright and just tell you so. You are an adult, and as such it is up to you to decide how to live your life. It is no less than you deserve, than you have a right to. Than we all do," Minerva said plainly.

Severus blinked in spite of himself and squeezed Erszhebets hands tightly. "Is there a bathroom down here?" he asked hoarsely catching his breath.

Before Erszhebet could answer he jumped up and pulled her after him.

Minerva and Poppy resumed their examination of the Wizarding photo albums in silence.

Erszhebet guided Severus to the bathroom and he closed the door after them. She went to turn on the light and Severus pulled back her arm. He pulled Erszhebet into his arms and he clung to her tightly in the still of the darkness, as if both their lives depended on it. Occasionally there was a slight shiver from him.

Had Erszhebet been able to see her lovers' face she would not have been surprised. Without the water and steam of a shower to hide his tears, there was no doubting that Severus Snape was crying.

The moon came out suddenly from behind some clouds and a hint of its light came in through the window very near to where they stood, casting a silvery halo around the two lovers. Erszhebet looked at Severus and smoothed his black hair. Severus opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words would come.

As suddenly as it had come the moon disappeared again.

Severus and Erszhebet were again engulfed by darkness. Erszhebet gently kissed away his tears in silence and then held him once again.

Severus was crying not so much for himself; but for the remarkable woman who held him in her arms clearly thinking only of him.

Twin Souls - Twin Souls indeed. Severus was the question and Erszhebet was the answer to that question.

Words were not needed for these Twin Souls to speak.