A Change of Heart

Chapter 13

When Lily woke up, she found herself feeling more excited than she had been in a while. She smiled to herself and lay still on the bed as she listened to Sarah and Hannah speaking excitedly.

"It was really nice for him to do that," Hannah said to Sarah while they gathered their things.

"Yeah, it was sweet..." Sarah said reflectively. "We really scared him didn't we?"

"I don't think he thinks we're normal anymore..." Hannah said smiling. "But then again, it was necessary to warn him. I mean, you know the reputation Sirius has--"

"What did you do?" Lily said jumping from her spot on the bed. She jumped off the bed to face her shocked friends, who avoided her gaze. "Sarah? Hannah? Come on!"

"Well..." Hannah started.

"We just gave him a few tips..." Sarah said innocently.

"I don't believe you! Come on!" Lily said exasperated. "Just tell me so I can apologize and salvage whatever is left of my date."

"Don't worry about it Lily, we just played a joke on him. Come on, go get ready! He said he'd be waiting for you at the entrance at nine," Hannah said trying to side-track the conversation.

She glanced at her watch and forgot about her friends' conversation.

"At nine?! But it's--it's a quarter to nine! Why didn't you two wake me?" she bellowed as she gathered her things to take a shower and get ready. "Come on, help me out you guys! Can you pick a robe for me to wear while I shower?"

The two girls grinned widely and nodded.

"Shoo shoo, go on!" Sarah said pushing her friend into the bathroom connected to their room. When Lily had gone in and closed the door she muttered to Hannah. "I thought you said it was quarter to eight? Hannah! Come on, let's get this day started!"

When Lily came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, her friends had picked out some aqua-colored robes, which brought out her green eyes. They convinced her to wear her hair down, as she usually had it tied up in a tall ponytail. They applied some soft touches of make up on her to enhance her features, and smiled proudly when they had finished the job. They walked her all the way to the stairs before the entrance, where they saw a fidgety Sirius walk back and forth between the entrance of the school and the Great Hall. Lily smiled at him as he caught her coming down the stairs. He stopped moving altogether and a smile crept up to his face. He walked to meet her in the middle of the stairs and he held out his hand.

"Milady!" he said bowing and taking her hand. "You look spectacular."

"Sirius--" she started in an amused manner. She could hear her friends whisper 'aww's and 'sweet's to each other. Her cheeks started to burn.

"Shall we go then?" he smiled. He looped her arm in his and they walked together out of the school on their way to Hogsmeade.

They talked flippantly about the chances of the Quidditch team as they walked the drive to the town. Sirius had been on the team since the third year. Now, he told her, he wanted to make sure all effort to keep the team winning the cup the next year when they were gone, would still be good.

"I'm willing to train in the rain all day just to make sure we win the cup. I'm anxious to see what tricks the Slytherins have planned for us. That way I can retaliate without any remorse whatsoever. I can easily plead self-defense!" he said smiling.

"That's how you end up with all those detentions. I'll never see you again if you keep retaliating! I know they'll try something again soon, seeing as how they didn't get out of the last one unscathed," Lily said eyeing some Slytherins as they entered the town.

"Now, now, we're here to have fun! Would you like to go someplace in specific my beautiful lady?" he asked charmingly steering her away from their rival house classmates.

"Not if you insist on talking on like that!" she said jokingly. He smiled back and she looked down the street searchingly. "Why don't we to Honeyduke's? Halloween is coming up and well, I need to pack up a stash."

"To the candy store it is!" he smiled brightly as they walked to the store.

They entered the store, which was like always, full of Hogwarts students. They wandered off into a corner where there weren't that many people and Sirius started picking out candy for Lily to take, all the while explaining why he thought some of them were good and others not.

"I suggest taking some cockroach clusters, they're always a riot! I've tricked many into eating these; it's always a hilarious to see their reactions!" Sirius said delighted.

Lily examined him for a moment and smiled.

"You sound a lot more cheerful than you were yesterday..." she said thinking out loud. She didn't think she had voiced her thought until he responded.

"Yesterday was a long day..." he replied in a gloomy voice. He shook it off and stretched his arm around Lily to grab some Fizzing Whizzbees when Lily murmured an apology.

"I shouldn't have mentioned it, I'm sorry," she said putting a hand on his stretched arm.

He looked at her for a moment and smiled at her kindly.

"There's nothing to be sorry for; it's a situation that needs handling. I'm just tired of thinking about it. There's something more important on my mind right now..." he said meeting her intense green eyes.

He felt himself leaning over to her, his left arm outstretched next to her face. He got closer to her slowly, with a shy apprehension. She could almost feel his lips on hers when somebody stumbled onto Sirius from the right and threw him to the floor. When Sirius looked at the intruder, his gaze was murderous. Lily rushed to help Sirius up as the boy who had fallen on him scampered to his feet.

"I'm so sorry!" Peter Pettigrew said apologetically as he put enough distance between him and Sirius.

"I'd hate to be you right now Wormtail..." Sirius said irritated.

"It's alright Peter. No one's hurt, are you Peter? Sirius?" she asked trying to stop Sirius from hurting Peter.

"He would be..." he muttered annoyed. He felt Lily slap him playfully on his arm. "Run along Peter, no harm done."

Peter gave them both a nervous smile before he walked away hurriedly. Lily turned to look at Sirius and gave him a stern look.

"Uhoh, what is it Professor McGonagall?" he asked jokingly.

"Come on. That was a bit much. He's one of your best friends. He falls over and you look at him as though committed a crime," she said unbelievingly amused.

"He did. He ruined a perfectly nice moment and should have to go to Azkaban!" he said smiling and taking Lily's hand and steering her towards the shopkeeper to purchase their selection.

"Azkaban? For ruining a moment! Peter couldn't be more innocent if he tried. Poor bloke trips over himself daily!" she said with a chuckle. She smiled despite herself at the idea that they had actually shared a moment and she gave Sirius an adoring look. "It was a nice moment wasn't it?"

He looked at her and smiled goofily. "It's always nice when you're around anyhow."

Sirius paid the shopkeeper for the candy and they walked out into the street and walked for a moment aimlessly. Lily held on to Sirius hand as they made their way in front of the stores and establishments. It felt comfortable to do so, she said to herself. She smiled brightly at Aurora, Frank, and Daya waved at them from inside the Three Broomsticks.

"What do you say we go into Madame Pudifoot's and get warm?" Sirius asked suddenly as they passed in front of the small tea shop.

"Yeah, sure," Lily said hesitantly.

She suddenly felt herself going tense. She let go of Sirius hand as they walked inside and sat down in front of a window. It vaguely reminded her of the divination classroom up in the towers. Professor Isis' room, much like this tea shop, was kept cozy with the smell of brewing tea. She sat down and glanced nervously at the tables around them. Other couples were sitting in the other tables. She could see a three or four of them kissing and she felt suddenly self-conscious. Sirius didn't expect anything, did he? It felt like a lot of pressure considering they had just been moments away from experiencing their first kiss, a few minutes before. He seemed to catch on to her apprehension because he put his hand on hers and met her eyes.

"It's a bit much isn't it?" he asked smiling.

She nodded and smiled back. She felt herself relax more and she looked outside the window. She was glad they were inside. It was windy outside and she could feel herself become enveloped by the warmth of the little shop.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked looking at her nervously.

"No, it's warm in here. Maybe we can have one cup of tea, then we move on..." she said looking back at him smiling.

A woman came by and took their order and delivered their drinks promptly. Lily felt herself drawn into the curiosity of the previous day's events. She could still feel the thoughts that had haunted her yesterday gnawing to make their way to the top of her thoughts. She had resolved to bury the issue of James and Sirius yesterday as she fell asleep. She was wrong, she told herself again, she had nothing to do with it. Her resolve, however, was breaking. So it was a relief when Sirius started talking about another thing that was troubling her mind.

"How are you doing in DADA class? Sarah and Hannah were telling me you were still having some problems..." he said trying to break the silence that had fallen upon them. It wasn't an awkward silence; it had been a deep-in-thought silence that was making him nervous.

"Oh, it's nothing really. I was still having some problems, but I talked to Professor Munin. He's got a tutor lined up for me," she said grinning. "I'm sure I'll do loads better."

"I could've helped you," he offered.

"You've got enough to worry about. You have Quidditch and now that thing with--anyways, it's okay. Besides, I don't think we'd get any work done," Lily said trying to keep the conversation from turning to the topic they were avoiding.

"I guess that might be true," he said with a playful smile. "So do you have any idea who your tutor is going to be?"

"He didn't tell me. He wanted it to be a surprise. I guess I'll find out on Monday at seven," she said light-heartedly. Her voice turned a little more serious as remembered the Slytherins. "All I know is that I'm going to be happy to get any help. That class is essential, whether for job or just because. There have been too many killings. I rather prepare myself while I still can."

"I have never seen you as defenseless. You do great on the most part with everything else. What makes DADA different from any other of your classes? You do great in every single one. Almost effortlessly, but not in DADA," he mentioned intrigued.

"I suppose it's that I can deflect attacks, avoid difficult situations, but when it comes down to attacking... my mind goes blank. I did horribly when we faced the boggarts during our third year. It took me a lot of practicing to cast that simple 'riddiculus' spell. Nerves I guess; I have to feel completely confident about myself and skills in that area..." she said sipping on her tea ever so slowly between breaths.

"Yet you're not one to stand down. If I didn't fear for your safety, I'd recommend you try to become an Auror but it's not safe for anyone. Least of all muggleborns," he said hesitantly.

"I am... considering it. I want to become an Auror. I think it's a meaningful job. I want to help catch the men who kill those innocent people. I want to help end this evil. Voldemort can't win, not when there are still people who are willing to fight," she said determinedly.

He looked at her in awe. He knew a lot of people wanted Voldemort gone. He had never seen anyone show that much determination to help except for James. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. They finished their tea and they walked outside, Sirius took her hand once more and led her to Dervish and Banges.

"You read my mind," Lily said pleased. "I really wanted some new books."

"Let me guess, Charms and DADA. Am I right?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I feel like a bookworm now," she said blushing. "I just want to be prepared for Monday's class."

"Well, I imagine you want the new charms book to perfect your skill," he said as they browsed the rows of books. He picked up his favorite book about DADA and handed it to her. "This is my personal favorite. You should own one, it's really quite helpful."

He handed her a leather bound book with the words carved in front, 'Guide to Your Protection: a Defense Against Dark Spells' the title read. She picked it up and browsed it. She found that the book not only contained information about jinxes and spells they had learned in their DADA class, but also had a section about dark wizards.

"Wow, this looks like a good book," she said putting it under her arm. "Ok, I'll take this one and I need to pick up my charms book."

They headed over to where the books on Charm work were located and she began flipping through the pages of the different books.

"You're Flitwick's pet aren't you?" he asked smiling.

"I'm not his pet! He just likes me because I do well in the class," she said defensively.

"I do great in his class and he hates me," he said casually.

"That's because you set a niffler lose in the classroom. You also set the fireworks underneath his desk. I think you were also the one who vanished the books he usually stands on in class..." she said trying to recall the last one.

"The fireworks weren't my fault!" he said innocently. She gave him an unbelieving look and he threw his hands up in the air. "Fine it was, but they were burning a whole in my pocket and if I had to listen to Peter nag on about how he couldn't get the cushion to fly into the box at all, then I was going to have to kill him."

She chuckled at his comment and picked out two books she had been examining. They walked up to the register, paid, and walked out to the street. They looked at each other for a moment and they began walking up the street that led back to school.

"You seem awful upset at Peter," she said smiling.

"Don't mistake me, I trust the chap with my life. He's extremely trustworthy, but sometimes, he can be a tad too--" he said trying to find the word.

"Irritating?" Lily provided.

"Well, yes," he said thoughtfully. He glanced at Lily and his thoughts started pouring into words. "This thing with James--Peter just sided immediately with James. He just shut me out suddenly. I'll help him out with anything; I guess I just expected him to help me out. I find it bothersome that he would abandon me. The three of them, they're my brothers. They're my only family, if I can't depend on them, who do I have?"

"You have me," Lily said encouragingly. "If you need a friend Sirius, I'll be there."

He smiled at her desolately, as though his words had made him reflect on the position he found himself in. Having fought with his best friend, he felt somehow alone. Yet, he looked at Lily and felt his feelings of despair and loneliness wash away. He wasn't alone. She would be there. She wanted to be there. They stopped walking and he glanced around them. There was no one in sight. They had left the town without noticing. He examined her face and found in her deep green eyes a sign of expectancy. Before, he knew what he was doing; he reached down, and felt his lips connect with hers. In that moment he felt as elated as he had never been.