The Other Side of the Mirror

The Other Side of the Mirror

Year Two

Chapter Two

-Gilderoy Lockhart -

Draco leaned back against the seat on the train, looking out as the scenery flew by. Crabbe and Goyle sat across from him, busily munching on their sweets. He smiled. Wait until the team sees those broomsticks! They are going to be so shocked! And I can't wait until Potter sees our brooms. He's in for it now!

Draco pulled up his legs in Indian-style on the seat, the folds of his robe spilling over them. He loosened his tie slightly, thinking about the past few days. Not much had really happened and his mother was still sick. She hadn't gone with them when his father had taken him to King's Cross Station because she still felt horrible. He didn't blame her. I hope she'll get better soon!

One night, Macnair had come over and Draco had listened by the door of his father's study as they spoke in hushed tones. He knew he shouldn't have eavesdropped, but he was rather interested in what Macnair had given his father and why they were having all these conversations. All he had overheard, however, was something about a diary and the Mudbloods getting their due. Draco was happy that the Mudbloods might be taken care of, but he had an uneasy feeling that something was going to happen that year; he just didn't know what.

"You gotta try these!" Goyle exclaimed, breaking Draco away from his thoughts. Goyle was holding out a Pumpkin Pasty.

"I've already tried them, but thanks," Draco said, taking the pasty. He unwrapped it and bit into it. I needed something sweet right about now.

He glanced out the window and a movement caught his eye. He looked harder and he could have sworn that something very large had just flown by the window, and it had looked like a car. But of course, that was impossible. He looked again, but it was gone. Must have just been my imagination. Huh.

He heard a high pitched squeal and winced as Pansy thrust herself into the opening of their compartment. "Can you believe it?" she asked, her voice high-pitched and her eyes wild with excitement.

"What?" Draco asked in a bored tone. He didn't really feel like talking to Pansy at the moment.

"Gilderoy Lockhart is coming to Hogwarts!"

"He is?" Draco asked in dismay.

"Who?" Crabbe asked, eating a chocolate frog.

"Who?" Pansy asked, her eyes wide. "You mean you haven't heard of Gilderoy Lockhart, the famous wizard that has defeated all those monsters?"

Crabbe shrugged.

"Didn't he write all those books?" Goyle asked.

Draco looked at Goyle. "How do you know that?"

Goyle shrugged. "I saw him at Flourish and Blotts."

"Oh, right," Draco said, rolling his eyes. "The famous Lockhart. Who cares?"

"Who cares?" Pansy screeched.

Draco put his hands over his ears. "Would you mind not screeching so loudly? You're giving me a headache!"

Pansy pouted. "Well, you should be excited. He's a brilliant man and oh so good-looking!" Pansy put her hand over her heart, faking a swoon.

"Oh, please," Draco muttered, rolling his eyes. "Pansy, go talk to someone else about Lockhart. We don't care."

"Fine, then," Pansy said, putting her hands on her hips. "You know you should really appreciate him after all those things he did. The world wouldn't be safe without him." With that she disappeared from the opening and he heard her talking to someone else about Lockhart.

"Yeah, says he's done. I don't believe a word of it. In my opinion, its complete rubbish," Draco muttered, looking out the window again.

~ ~ ~

When the train pulled into Hogsmeade Station, Draco watched as the first-years followed Hagrid towards the lake. Then he turned his attention to the horseless carriages that stood on a dirt path off to the side of the platform. That was what the rest of the school would be taking to Hogwarts. Draco climbed into a carriage with Crabbe, Goyle, Brandon, and Blaise and they felt it pull away sharply.

"These things must be enchanted to go all by themselves," Brandon said as they rode towards the castle.

"Either that or they're led by invisible horses," Blaise said.

Draco shrugged. "Either way, it's a lot better than taking those boats across the lake. At least we're dry in here."

Everyone nodded in agreement. "The smell isn't the best, but it's a lot more comfortable than those wooden benches in the boats," Brandon said.

Draco looked out one of the curtained windows and watched in awe as they passed through a pair of magnificent wrought iron gates, flanked with stone columns topped with winged boars. Those are brilliant!

At last, the carriage swayed to a halt and they stepped out, facing the stone steps that led up to the castle. They joined the crowd on the steps and swept through the giant oak front doors into the cavernous entrance hall, which was lit with flaming torches, and housed a magnificent marble staircase that led to the upper floors.

The filed into the Great Hall and took their seats at their respective tables. Draco looked up at the thousands of candles floating above their heads and the clear sky above them. That ceiling is brilliant. He looked around at the empty dishes. I'm starving! I hope the Sorting goes quickly because I don't know if I can wait much longer to eat.

He looked up at the High Table and groaned as he saw the professor who would be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts: Lockhart.

"Brilliant," Draco muttered.

"What?" Marcus asked, who was sitting to Draco's left.

"Did you see who our new Dark Arts professor is?"

"Lockhart!" Pansy squealed from down the table.

"Oh no," Marcus groaned. "He's teaching our Dark Arts class?"

"Unfortunately," Draco said.

"I don't believe this!" Blaise cried, looking past Marcus and to Draco. "That guy couldn't even defend himself from a Flobberworm, much less any other creature!"

"Maybe he won't be bad," Goyle said.

They all looked at him. "I very much doubt it," Brandon said, who was sitting across the table.

The room hushed as the great doors opened and Professor McGonagall walked down the center isle, followed by the large mass of nervous first-years.

Draco smiled, watching them file by. I remember when I went through that! I was so nervous; I had no idea what was going to happen.

The mass stopped in front of the Sorting Hat and soon a song spilled forth,

"I may not look like much

But don't be fooled

If you just give me a touch

You'll find I'm very useful

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting hat

And I top them all

For I can see what's in your mind

There's nothing that I cannot see

But don't get yourself in a bind

Just put me on and I'll tell you where you ought to be.

Perhaps in Gryffindor

Where the bravest of heart maybe be found

Or perhaps in Ravenclaw

Where dwell the cleverest of our kind

Perhaps in Hufflepuff

Where the hard-working and loyal are

Or perhaps in Slytherin

Where the ambitious will find their home.

So try me on

Place me on your head

And I'll tell you where you belong!"

Draco clapped along with the rest of the older students and watched Professor McGonagall pulled out her long scroll.

"That was a different song than the one it sang for us," Blaise said.

"It has a different one every year," Marcus explained.

"Well, I suppose it has to be boring sitting around all year; it probably spends it's time figuring out the next song," Brandon said.

"That sounds fun," Draco said sarcastically.

"Don't have much choice when you're the Sorting Hat," Blaise said.

Draco shrugged and turned his attention back to McGonagall.

"When I call out your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool," she instructed. "When the hat announces your House, you will go and sit at the appropriate table. Arnold, Carletta!"

A short girl walked up to the stool, sitting down. As McGonagall placed the hat on her head, it shouted,

"RAVENCLAW!"

The girl hopped off the stool and headed towards the cheering Ravenclaws.

"Remember when we went through that?" Brandon asked.

"I was really nervous," Crabbe said.

"I think everyone was," Blaise said, watching as the hat sorted three Hufflepuffs, two Ravenclaws, and a Gryffindor.

"Creevey, Colin!"

A short, mousy, blond-haired boy walked up to the hat nervously. He sat down, his eyes wide as the hat was placed on his head.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The boy grinned and ran over to the Gryffindors. As Draco scanned the Gryffindors, he realized that Potter and Weasley weren't anywhere to be seen. I wonder where those to got off to. Maybe they got expelled! Draco thought hopefully. That would certainly solve a lot of his problems.

The Sorting continued and finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the name, "Weasley, Ginny!" was called.

Draco watched as the Weasley girl from the bookshop walked up to the hat, sitting down. Not surprisingly, the hat called out,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

and the Sorting was finished. Finally! Draco said, sighing in relief.

Dumbledore stood. "Welcome back everyone. Welcome first-years. A new year begins at Hogwarts! Let us eat!" He sat down and the food appeared on the golden plates.

"Food!" Crabbe cried, digging in.

"I'm starving!" Goyle said, heaping food onto his plate.

"I think we all are," Draco said, putting various foods onto his plate.

"Well, I for one can't wait until tryouts!" Blaise said, taking a bit of his pork chops.

"We have spaces available," Marcus said, looking at them.

"I suppose all we can do is try, right?" Blaise asked.

"Right," Marcus said with a smile.

~ ~ ~

After the feast had finished and Draco suffered through another round of the school song, he headed up towards the High Table to speak with Professor Snape. Adrien had informed him of the password, "Salazar". Crabbe and Goyle walked behind him.

Draco looked around but didn't see Snape anywhere. He walked up to Professor Flitwick.

"Excuse me, Professor Flitwick?" Draco called.

Flitwick looked up at him. "May I help you, Mr. Malfoy?" he asked in his slightly squeaky voice.

"I was looking for Professor Snape, but I don't see him anywhere."

"Well, he had to deal with something down in his office. You can find him there."

Draco nodded. "Thank you, Professor." He turned to Crabbe and Goyle. "Let's go."

They nodded and followed Draco as he walked past the large group of first-years and down the stairs to the dungeon.

When they entered the Potions classroom, they headed to the back where Snape's office was.

Draco rapped on the door, inching it open.

"Excuse me, Professor Snape?" Draco called.

Snape looked up at him from behind his desk, the candles giving the room an eerie light. "Yes, Malfoy?" he said, looking very haggard at the moment.

"Is there something wrong, Professor?" Draco asked, stepping into the office.

Snape sighed, his lips curling into a sneer. "I suppose you noticed that Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley weren't at the Welcoming Feast?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, sir."

"They decided it would be funny to fly a car to Hogwarts instead of taking the carriages like the rest of the students," Snape sneered.

"Figures," Draco muttered. So I wasn't imagining it. I actually saw a car flying past the train window!

"Needless to say, they were let off easy and only received detentions."

"But that's not fair!" Draco protested. Why does Potter always get out of everything! It's not fair!

"That's what I thought, but apparently Professor McGonagall thinks otherwise. Now, is there something you wanted?"

"Yes sir, my father said that I should speak to you when I arrived to get the broomsticks."

Snape nodded. "Yes, he has informed me of that." His lips curled up into a small smile. "With these brooms, Slytherin can't lose. Those Gryffindors won't stand a chance." He stood, his black cloak swirling around him.

"No, sir," Draco said, smiling.

"Are you trying for the team?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." He motioned to the bundle of broomsticks in the corner. "There you are."

"Thank you, sir!" Draco said, grinning. He ran over to where the brooms stood. He ran his hand down the gleaming black shaft. The Nimbus 2001's! They're brilliant!

"Those are the 2001's?" Crabbe asked.

"Yes, they're brilliant, aren't they."

"Wicked," Goyle said, smiling.

"You had better be getting back to your common room, Malfoy."

"Yes, sir," Draco said, nodding. He looked at Crabbe and Goyle, who nodded and lifted up the brooms.

They left the study and headed to their common room.

When they entered, a large group of Slytherins stopped and stared. "Those are Nimbus 2001's!" someone exclaimed.

"Yes, they are," Draco said proudly. "These are for our House team. With these, we will win the House Championship and we'll leave the Gryffindors in the dust!"

"Oh yeah!" a fifth-year yelled.

"You got them!" Marcus exclaimed, running up to where Draco stood.

Draco nodded, grinning. "Yes, I did."

Marcus stooped down and ran his hand over the broom. "These are brilliant! I can't wait to see Wood's face when we come out with these!"

"Those brooms are wicked, Draco!" Blaise exclaimed, staring at the brooms.

"We have the best team and now we have the best brooms!" Adrian yelled. Shouts and cheers rang loudly in the Slytherin common room.

"Draco," Marcus said, standing. "Could I talk to you?"

Draco nodded. "Sure." He looked at Crabbe and Goyle. "Can you two make sure the team gets these?" They nodded. "Don't mess up."

"We won't," Goyle said.

Let's hope not, Draco thought and followed Marcus over near the fireplace. "What did you want to talk to me about?" Draco asked.

"Well, I was going to inform you of this as we were heading to the common room, but I haven't had a chance until now. Adrian, Terence, and I were talking and after seeing what you can do out on the pitch, we'd like you to be our Seeker."

Draco's breath caught in his throat as he looked at Marcus, wide-eyed. "Y-You mean, I-I'm on the team?" Draco managed, swallowing.

Marcus smiled. "Most definitely. You're a decent Seeker and we need to be able to win over Gryffindor."

"But what about the tryouts?"

Marcus shrugged. "The tryouts are just for the captains to get a good look at possible candidates for next year. We usually have a pretty good idea who we want on the team before the tryouts, unlike the other houses. We want the best, and I think we're going to have it this year."

"What about the other slot? You said there were two."

Marcus nodded. "We needed a Beater, but we've found a replacement."

"Who?"

"Blaise."

Draco grinned. "Brilliant!"

"In about a month we're going to start practices, so make sure you plan accordingly. We need to be as good as we can so that we can smash Gryffindor."

"You bet," Draco said. I can't believe it! I'm on the team! Wait until my father finds out! "Thank you so much!"

"No problem," Marcus said. He smiled. "You deserved it." He walked away, leaving Draco grinning from ear to ear.

"What'd he want, Draco?" Blaise asked, walking up to him.

"We're on the team!"

Blaise's eyes lit up. "Really?! Brilliant! I can't wait until my parents find out! They're going to be thrilled!"

"We're going to win the championship, I just know it."

"Potter won't stand a chance against you, huh." Blaise said, grinning.

"If he can even see me!" Draco said, smirking.

"He's pretty good, though," Brandon said, interjecting into their conversation. They looked at him sharply. Brandon shrugged. "But with those brooms, we'll win for sure."

"This is going to be a brilliant year!" Blaise exclaimed.

"Most definitely," Draco said, grinning.

~ ~ ~

The next morning, during breakfast, Draco was eating his sausage when the mail arrived. Draco had spotted Weasley and Potter when he had come in for breakfast.

Suddenly a large gray owl balked in the air and crashed into the food in front of Weasley, splattering porridge all over Weasley. Draco burst out laughing, as did the rest of the Slytherins. Marcus was twisted around in his seat to look at Weasley, laughing loudly.

They watched as Weasley held up a bright red envelope, his hand shaking. "Look everyone, Weasley's got himself a Howler!" a Gryffindor called. The entire hall was laughing quietly, some watching Weasley in silence.

Draco grinned. Hah! Weasley's in for it! I don't believe he got himself a Howler! That's what he gets for flying that car!

"You know, I bet it's because he stole that car!" Brandon called from the other side of Goyle.

That morning before breakfast, Draco had informed them about what had happened to Weasley and Potter, and then a few others had chimed in on what they had heard. Apparently, they hadn't been able to get through the barrier at King's Cross and had taken Weasley's father's car to Hogwarts. Then they had managed to land it in the Whomping Willow on top of it. Needless to say, they weren't expelled, much to Draco's dismay. However, the Howler that Weasley had just received would make Draco's day. This is going to be hilarious!

"Oh no," they heard Weasley moan as he stared at the envelope in his hand. The entire Slytherin table was laughing hysterically now.

As Weasley began to open it, his hands shaking, the Howler suddenly jumped out of his hands.

"RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I'M ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! NOW YOUR FATHER IS FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!"

The Howler burst into flame and fell into pieces onto the table in front of a horrified Weasley. A ringing silence filled the entire hall.

Then Draco began laughing hysterically, tears coming to his eyes, as was Marcus and the rest of the Slytherins. The entire hall began filling with voices again, and Weasley turned bright red.

"That was the best!" Blaise yelled, howling with laughter.

"The look on his face!" Marcus yelled. "Priceless!"

At that moment, Professor Snape walked by, handing out their course schedules. First class of the day would be Double Herbology, which they would share with the other houses.

"Let's go," Draco said, standing.

Brandon, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle followed him out of the Great Hall and they headed for Greenhouse Three, where their class would be taking place.

"Greenhouse Three! We've never been allowed in there! I've heard there are all sorts of creatures and tougher ones at that!" Blaise said as they walked.

When they entered the greenhouse, they stood in groups near the long table in the center of the greenhouse. Draco looked at the leafy plants that sat wriggling in their pots on the table. I wonder what these are? Draco wondered. On rows of hooks were cream colored robes and the second-years donned them quickly, waiting for the professor to arrive.

"I wonder what we're doing today," Draco said, looking around. Draco looked across the table and groaned inwardly as he saw that Potter and Weasley stood nearly across from him. About four kids down to Draco's right, Granger stood between a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff.

"Good morning class!" a voice called. Several students kept talking so the voice called again. "Good morning class!"

They all turned to Professor Sprout, a squat little witch who wore a patched hat over her flyaway hair and was dressed in a dirty cream-colored robe. "Good morning, Professor Sprout," they all called.

"Welcome to Greenhouse Three second-years! Now, gather round," she said, motioning them closer to the large table. Draco looked over Crabbe, watching Professor Sprout, interested. Maybe Herbology wouldn't be that bad, even if we are sharing it with Gryffindor. "Today we'll be repotting Mandrakes. Now, can anyone tell me the properties of the Mandrake root?"

To nobody's surprise, Granger's hand shot up into the air. Professor Sprout nodded to her. "Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative," Granger said smartly. "It's used to return those who have been petrified to their original state."

"Excellent," Professor Sprout said, smiling. "Ten points to Gryffindor."

Potter and Weasley grinned at each other. Draco glared at them and then turned his attention back to the professor. Figures they'd gloat. Just wait till Quidditch, Potter, then we'll see who's grinning.

"The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Can anyone tell me why?"

Granger's hand shot up into the air. Draco looked at her above Crabbe's head. "The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it," Granger said promptly.

"Take another ten. Now, as our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill you yet, however, they will knock you out for several hours, which is why you've each been given a set of earmuffs for auditory protection. Put on your earmuffs, flaps down tight." Draco quickly pressed the flaps down; patting them to make sure they were in place. "Now, you grasp your Mandrake firmly," she explained as she held gripped a plant next to her under its leaves. "You pull it out of the ground," she said, yanking the Mandrake from its pot. Draco flinched, looked at the thing in horror. Instead of roots, a small, muddy, and extremely ugly baby popped out of the earth. The leaves were growing right out of its head. It had pale green, mottled skin, and was clearly bawling at the top of his lungs. Everyone winced; even the little bit of sound that they could hear was horrible. "And place it in another pot, sprinkling a bit of dirt around it to keep it warm." She looked at them, after filling the pot with dirt.

The lifted their flaps up so they could hear anything she said next.

Out of the corner of his eye, Draco saw Longbottom's eyes roll of inside of his head and collapse onto the ground. Pathetic! Professor Sprout shook her head. "Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs."

"No, ma'am, he's just fainted," a Gryffindor said.

"Oh, well, just leave him there," Professor Sprout said. Draco smirked. She looked at the class. "Now, there are plenty of pots to go around."

Draco made sure his flaps were down securely and then gripped the Mandrake in front of him. He yanked it out of the dirt, looking at it disgustingly. Then he smirked, holding it up with his left hand. With his right hand, protected by his dragon-hide gloves, he put his finger in the toothless mouth, tickling it and laughing. He looked at Crabbe, making sure he could see the harmless Mandrake, when he felt a sharp stab of pain in his finger. Looking back at the Mandrake, whose mouth was chomped tightly on his finger, he yanked his finger out, shaking his hand. Ow! That really hurt! Stupid plant! He scowled at the disgusting thing and shoved it into the empty pot.

~ ~ ~

After Herbology, they headed to Transfiguration. "I don't believe that stupid thing bit me!" Draco complained, his finger still hurting.

"But it doesn't have teeth," Goyle said.

Draco glared at him. "It still hurt."

"That's what you get for putting your finger in its mouth," Brandon said, laughing.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you had just had your finger bitten by a toothless plant," Draco said sourly.

During Transfiguration, they had to change a beetle into a button, and to Draco's delight, he succeeded. At least something is going right today. First the Howler, and now I've actually transfigured something on the first try! Good day for me, if I forget the fact that I got bit.

A sudden stench filled the room as Weasley, who was sitting directly in front of Draco, managed to surround himself in a thick, gray smoke that smelled of rotten eggs. Draco rolled his eyes, looking at the broken wand that Weasley had attempted to fix with Spellotape. Can't even buy a new wand, Weasley? I suppose you barely afforded the first one. Draco thought, smirking.

Needless to say, Professor McGonagall wasn't happy with Weasley. Draco just grinned.

During lunch, everyone was talking about their Defense Against the Dark Arts class, which would be that afternoon. "I wonder if Lockhart even knows what he's talking about," Blaise said, eating a sandwich.

"I rather doubt it," Brandon said.

"Do you think we'll have to do anything in the class?" Goyle asked.

Draco shrugged. "Besides notes? I don't think so; there's not much we can do hands-on yet."

"Right," Blaise said.

"I suppose we'll just have to suffer through it. We're sharing it with the other houses, right?" Draco asked.

"Unfortunately," Blaise grumbled, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.

~ ~ ~

After lunch, they headed down the corridor and outside into the overcast courtyard that sat in the middle of the castle. As they were walking, Draco spotted Potter, Weasley, and Granger, talking to a short blond haired kid that was carrying something around his neck. He was looking up at Potter, talking excitedly. "So I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him," Draco heard the kid say. "And it'd be really good if I had one of you. Maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?"

Draco rolled his eyes. Figures Potter would let all that fame go to his head. Now he's giving out signed pictures? Pathetic! "Signed photos?" Draco said scathingly. "You're giving out signed photos, Potter?"

Draco walked up to Potter, Crabbe and Goyle standing beside him. "Everyone line up!" Draco yelled, looking around at the students that had stopped to watch. "Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!"

"No, I'm not," Potter said angrily. Draco looked at him, sneering. "Shut up, Malfoy."

"You're just jealous," the little kid piped up.

Draco looked down at the kid and sneered. The kid barely came up to his shoulder, and was about as big as Crabbe's neck. "Jealous? Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself." Crabbe and Goyle sniggered next to him.

"Eat slugs, Malfoy," Weasley said angrily.

Draco looked at him, his eyebrows raised. Crabbe had stopped laughing and was now staring Weasley down, cracking his knuckles menacingly. There was a definite advantage to always having Crabbe and Goyle around. "Be careful, Weasley," Draco sneered, "You don't want to start any trouble or your Mommy'll have to come and take you away from school." He made his voice rise shrilly, "'If you put another toe out of line' -"

Nearby, a group of Slytherin fifth-years laughed loudly.

Draco smirked, looking at Potter. "Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. It'd be worth more than his family's whole house -"

Weasley whipped out his broken wand, but froze as they heard a voice call out, "What's all this about?" Draco turned to see Lockhart striding towards them, his turquoise robes swirling behind him. "Who's giving out signed photos?" Lockhart grinned as he spotted Potter, throwing his arms across Potter's shoulders. "Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Harry!"

Draco smirked and turned, walking away with the rest of the crowd. It's what he deserves after acting all superior. And that Lockhart, he just thinks he's the greatest thing that walked the earth.

~ ~ ~

They walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and took their seats, looking around. In the front of the classroom was a staircase and a door at the top. Around the room was several photos of Lockhart and at the base of the stairs, there was a large tapestry of Lockhart painting himself. That man is so full of himself! He really needs to learn a bit of humility. Draco thought.

The door opened at the top and Lockhart swept out. The room was silent. "I would like to introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: me!" he said, smiling a mouth full of white teeth. Draco glanced around and saw that all the girls were looking up at Lockhart dreamily. He sneered. Pathetic. What do they see in him? "Order of Merlin, Third Class," Lockhart said, walking down the stairs, "Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League," He smiled at his portrait, who grinned back. Lockhart looked at the class. "And five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award," he said, grinning, "but I don't want to talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

Draco heard a few weak laughs around the room. He, however, just looked at Lockhart, his eyebrows raised. He really has no clue, does he?

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books - well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about - just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in -"

Lockhart began walking around the room, handing out papers. "You have thirty minutes," he said, returning to the front of the classroom. "Starting - now!"

Draco looked down at the paper in front of him, raising his eyebrows. "What kind of quiz is this?" he muttered.

This went on over three sides of paper, right down to:

Draco just stared at the paper and then scribbled down nonsense, which is what he thought of the quiz. This is pure rubbish! We're supposed to be learning about the Dark Arts, not the professor! I bet he doesn't know one thing about the Dark Arts.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and looked through them at the front of the class.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year With the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wandering with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - thought I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!"

He winked at them and Draco just stared at him in disbelief. Could this guy get any more full of himself? Goyle, who was sitting next to him, was shaking with silent laughter, as were a few of the other students around the room.

"But Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions - good girl! In fact," Lockhart said, flipping to her paper, "full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Draco watched as Granger raised her hand and he just shook his head. Figures. She probably idolizes him.

"Excellent!" Lockhart beamed. "Quite excellent! Take ten points to Gryffindor! And so - to business -"

They watched as Lockhart walked over to a cage covered in a cloth. "Now - be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind!" He rapped the cage with his wand and it began shaking. "You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here."

Draco glanced around the room and realized that the entire room was silent. Even he had to admit, he was slightly interested, and watched the cage intently, tendrils of fear snaking their way through his body. He swallowed, looking up at Lockhart. What was in the cage?

"I must ask you not to scream," Lockhart said in a low voice. "It might . . . provoke them!" he said, whipping off the cover.

"Cornish pixies?!" one of the Gryffindors said, laughing loudly.

"Yes, freshly caught Cornish pixies," Lockhart said.

The Gryffindor was now laughing, jabbing his friend next to him, who was also laughing. Even Draco let a small smile creep over his face. Cornish pixies in a cage? This won't be that bad, then. I don't believe that I was actually worried!

"Laugh as you will, Mr. Finnigan," Lockhart said. "But they can be devilishly tricky little blighters." Draco looked at the pixies, which were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them. "Let's see what you make of them!" And he opened the cage.

It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Longbottom by the ears and lifted him up into the air. They dropped him and his cloak caught on the chandelier. He began swinging back and forth.

They proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. As a pixie flew at Draco, he picked up one of the books, hitting it away from him. All the students were running now for the doors, hitting the pixies away that flew at them. Draco ducked and sprinted for the door, Crabbe and Goyle following swiftly behind.

Once they were out in the courtyard, they stopped, breathing heavily. Several other students from the same class were standing around, catching their breaths as well.

"Can you believe that?" Brandon cried angrily.

"He didn't have a clue what he was doing!" Draco said, just as angrily.

"People could have been hurt," Blaise said, shaking his head. "That guy is pathetic!"

"Now you see why we don't think Lockhart should teach Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Draco asked, looking at Goyle.

"Those pixies were really scary," Goyle said, nodding. "He didn't know what to do once he set them loose."

"Exactly," Draco said, looking at his friends.

"He was just trying to give us hands-on experience," Pansy said, overhearing them.

"Hands on?" Blaise cried incredulously. "Pansy, he had no clue what he -"

"Rubbish," she said, sniffing. "You've read all his books; you know all those amazing things he's done!"

"Says he's done," Brandon muttered.

"I don't believe a word of that rubbish in his books," Draco said.

"Well, you just don't know a brilliant man when you see him!" Pansy retorted. "He's done more than you'll ever be able to do!" With that, she stalked away angrily.

"I don't see why all the girls think he's so brilliant," Blaise grumbled.

"Neither do I," Draco said.

"Even Millicent was enthralled," Goyle said, who had sat next to her in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"We need a new professor," Brandon said.

"I don't think one thing is going to get him kicked out," Crabbe said.

Draco looked at him, nodding. "You're right. Although the way I've seen Professor Snape look at Lockhart . . . well, I just wouldn't want to be on the receiving end."

They all nodded. "You got that right," Blaise said.

"Well, you know what they say about that job. It's cursed," Brandon said.

"Just as long as we get a new professor next year, I think I'll stay sane long enough to get through this year," Draco said.

"Exactly," Blaise agreed.