Gazing

~~~

"Oh, crap," Remus thought to himself as he stood in front of the two boys, books in hand. Sirius was at James's side, claiming the boy's attention and pointing, glee apparent on his face, at Remus, causing Remus to feel as if he was being judged. James seemed to roll his eyes at Sirius, but he remained silent.

"Remus is going to sit with us, James," Sirius said cheerfully. James just shrugged, so Sirius sat on James's left and invited Remus on his own left, which Remus did. Remus couldn't help feeling that every eye in the classroom was on him, noting the fact that he was sitting beside Sirius Black. Sirius was popular; Remus was not. He felt as if he wasn't supposed to be there.

After Defense against the Dark Arts they had Transfiguration, and Sirius again pulled Remus from his usual corner and dragged him to where he and James sat. Sirius had started saying something that Remus wasn't following about Quidditch when the murmur in the classroom died, announcing the entrance of professor McGonagall.

She stopped at the front of the class as she always did and quickly surveyed the room with her eyes; that, too, was a custom. "Has anyone seen Mr. Lupin? He's not in his-" But McGonagall was cut of by Sirius waving one hand around and pointing at Remus with the other.

"He's here, professor," Sirius said chirpily. "I just wanted Remus to sit with us today. He can change seats, can't he?"

McGonagall gave the grinning boy a fleeting glance then turned to Remus. "Are you satisfied with this new arrangement, Mr. Lupin?"

Remus cursed his reddening cheeks. He hated being the center of attention, felt that if people stared hard enough they would see right through him, discover what he was. "I'm fine, professor," he answered awkwardly, avoiding her eyes. McGonagall gave Remus a small nod then started the class.

That afternoon's Transfiguration class was hell for Remus. Sirius kept whispering silly comments in his ear during the entire class, and more than once Professor McGonagall had to call their attention. Remus tried to avoid Sirius once the class had ended, but Sirius insisted he sat with him on every class they shared after that. Once or twice Sirius would say something funny and Remus would laugh, but he just wasn't used to the constant company. It was a big relief that last period Muggle Studies (a class his mother had forced him to take) was Sirius- and James-free. Not that James bothered Remus, exactly; the only thing the boy had done was slightly glare at him.

After Muggle Studies, Remus followed his usual routine and headed toward the library. There it was nice and quiet and one-hundred-percent Sirius-free. He walked down the hall, hugging a book to his chest, and he was ten feet away from the library's entrance when he heard his name being shouted.

"Remus!" Sirius was bellowing down the hall at the top of his lungs.

Remus's eyes widened. Everyone in the hall was staring at Sirius as if he had grown a third eye, but Sirius just ignored the stares and kept screaming Remus's name all the way down the corridor. Remus couldn't take it anymore and rushed to meet Sirius half way. "Lower your voice!" he hissed after he had reached him. "Everyone's starring at you!"

"So?" Sirius blinked happily.

"I don't like it!" Remus replied earnestly.

The look on Sirius's face changed slightly, but he didn't add anything to the comment. "Where were you going?" he asked.

"Library," Remus answered quickly.

"The library? That's boring!"

"Excuse me for liking to read, Mr. Black."

Sirius ignored the sarcasm. "Can't you give it up for tonight? There's something better I want to show you."

"Show me?" Remus frowned. "Ah, I don't know, Sirius."

But Sirius wasn't hearing any of it. He grabbed Remus's book from his hands, put an arm around his shoulders and dragged him far, far away from the safety of the library. They spent the rest of the afternoon together, and much to Remus's dismay he grew less and less reluctant to Sirius's presence. At dinner Sirius talked to him as if they were old friends, ranting about how much he hated some Slytherins, especially one by the name of Snivellus or something like that. James, on the other hand, ignored Remus completely and more than once Remus could have sworn the boy was glaring at him. After dinner, Remus tried to head back to the library to get some actual homework done, but Sirius was having none of it and kept Remus entertained for most of the evening in the Gryffindor common room.

"Sirius, I really have to do this essay for Muggle Studies," Remus pleaded, already feeling comfortable enough around the other boy to address him so casually.

"Is it due for tomorrow?" Sirius asked.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then you don't have to do it now," Sirius said happily.

Remus rolled his eyes. In the past few hours that he had spent with Sirius Black, he had come to the distinct conclusion that Sirius avoided homework like the plague, waiting until the last possible minute to do it. And he still hadn't seen whatever Sirius had to show him, unless it was how to avoid homework, which by now, Remus was pretty sure that that was it.

"I really have to do this essay," Remus tried again, and Sirius finally gave in.

Remus was silently grateful for Sirius's silence, and he quickly pulled his ink and blank parchment out of his bag. He really needed to get a head start on this essay, as it was supposed to replace the test he had missed the day after a full moon. He was thinking about how to start the essay when he heard Sirius groan loudly.

"What is it now?" Remus said without thinking.

"I think I left my book bag in the Great Hall," Sirius said with another groan.

"I'll lend you my books if you need," Remus said.

"My money is in that bag, I need to go get it." Sirius replied with yet another groan.

Remus's eyes went a bit wide, fearing his next words. "But it's past curfew. You can't go outside the common room."

Just as he feared, Sirius only grinned and asked, "So?"

Remus instantly frowned. He was not breaking the rules, not a chance in hell, nope, no way. Sirius's grinning face was not changing his mind.

Fifteen minutes later, Remus was pressing his back against a wall in a dark corner, cursing his weak resolve and wishing that Sirius would hurry up. Sirius finally appeared a moment later, book bag in hand, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Can we go back now?" Remus almost pleaded. "We're not supposed to be here!"

"Calm down, mate. I've never been caught, and I don't plan to start."

They set off on their way back to the common room, Sirius humming happily and trying to make small talk while Remus, expecting to be caught at any second, kept shushing him and looking around every corner. They didn't see any teachers or prefects along the way. Instead, much to Remus's horror, Peeves found them.

"Well, if it isn't Loopy Lupin and Batty Black," the ghost said in his annoyingly squeaky voice. "Out for a walk?" he taunted.

"Shut up, Peeves!" Sirius snapped, but Peeves just grinned, then started screaming.

"Students out past curfew!"

Remus had a moment to comprehend what had just happened. He turned toward Sirius. The hall was empty; Sirius was gone.

He started running toward the Gryffindor common room, not watching his steps very carefully, looking around for any sign of Sirius. He could still hear Peeves's screams down the hall, making him more alarmed than he already was. All he wanted was to be in the safety of the common room. Right on the next corner; he was almost there. Remus glanced behind him one last time and crashed into something large. The collision caused Remus to fall back until he was sitting on the floor. He then looked upwards to meet the disapproving gaze of Professor McGonagall.

"Remus John Lupin," she said in a very upset voice. "I've never-"

Remus felt his face going scarlet. McGonagall was one of the first teachers that accepted his condition, and Remus had much respect for her. Now here he was, sitting on the floor, out of breath and breaking the rules. He stood as quickly as he could and muttered a soft apology.

"What are you doing out of bed at this hour, Mr. Lupin? And I better hear a good explanation, or you're in a heap of trouble."

Remus swallowed. "I was with-" he started, then changed his mind. "No one, Professor McGonagall. I was studying in an empty classroom and lost track of time." Professor McGonagall seemed to want to say something, but she remained quiet for far longer than Remus liked. Eventually, she spoke.

"Report tomorrow to my office for detention, Mr. Lupin," she said bluntly, "and twenty points from Gryffindor for breaking curfew. Now head back to your common room."

Remus nodded swiftly and rushed down the hall, almost in a run. Detention! When his mother found out, she was going to kill him! Worse, she would probably send a howler! Remus slowed and walked down the hall quietly, dreading his mother's reaction and cursing Sirius Black's name. The whole day had probably been just a huge plot to get him in trouble, and Remus had fallen right into it. No more. He would never speak to Sirius again.

"Destino mudo," he said to the portrait of the Fat Lady, who immediately opened the door for him. The Gryffindor common room was vacant, no sign of Sirius anywhere. Remus started on his way to his room, but he stopped abruptly when out of nowhere someone crossed his path, blocking it. Remus released a soft gasp of surprise as he was greeted with the glaring face of James Potter.

As he was standing two steps higher on the stairs than Remus, James stood a good foot taller than the scared boy.

"Hi," Remus muttered softly.

James didn't respond right away. He just stood very still. Remus swallowed and avoided James's eyes; the boy was clearly in some sort of bad mood. After a few moments of silence, Remus attempted to walk past James, and that was when the boy opened his mouth.

"Listen, you," he said in a heated voice. "I don't why Sirius has gotten this recent 'thing' for you, but-"

"'Thing'?" Remus asked.

James just ignored him and continued, "He is my friend, understand? I'm not going to let some bookworm destroy our friendship! So you better watch it!" James turned around and disappeared up the dark flight of stairs.

Remus gulped and shivered a bit. This day couldn't get any worse now, could it? Wait. He was now behind in his muggle studies essay. Damn it. After a few moments, he followed James's path, grateful that at least neither Sirius nor James was his roommate.