Silly Git

Part 2.

Sirius was sitting in purgatory, otherwise known as the History of Magic class. He equated it to purgatory because that’s exactly what it felt like – an eternity of waiting for something while in the most boring place imaginable. In his case, he was waiting for lunch – heaven in his world, naturally. Belatedly realizing that his mouth was hanging open for the whole class to see, supported merely by the hand under his chin, and his eyes were decidedly not fixed on Professor Binns, but on some strange blue bird outside, he snapped his jaw shut and blinked a few times, trying to focus on the transparent speaker. Frowning, Sirius realized that someone was sniggering, and his suspicions were confirmed when he turned to his left and saw a giggling Lily, giving him amused side glances. Sticking his tongue out at her to show that he was above such teasing, he turned away and looked to his right, instead.

Bad idea. He was greeted by the sight of Remus.

The other boy obviously had a much bigger attention span, one that actually allowed him to listen to the droning Professor and take notes at the same time, his quill moving ceaselessly. Sirius cocked his head a little and noticed how the afternoon sun was spilling into the classroom, illuminating Moony’s light brown hair and beautiful pale face. The shadows under his eyes had lightened considerably since the last full moon, and he was looking much healthier for it – as expected, given the time of the month. He seemed oblivious to Sirius’ scrutiny, his eyebrows drawn in concentration, strong mouth silently repeating the Professor’s words as he wrote, occasionally dipping his quill in ink.

Sirius found himself unfortunately aroused.

Deciding that looking away was definitely the best option in this situation, he did so and concentrated hard on not falling asleep once again. Smirking slightly, he noticed how the sun was peering straight through his Professor, and wondered if for just a few moments the man would not feel like a bucket of ice if he walked through him. That thought had taken care of his problem right there.

Suddenly, something light fell on his desk, right onto his piece of parchment that was still devoid of any writing. Looking around him, Sirius noticed Lily staring at him with interest, her eyes indicating for him to read the note. Right before he opened it, Lily’s gaze swiftly went to his right and straight back at him. Confused, Sirius looked down at the note and opened it:

“Lupercalia – Roman Festival, celebrated on February 15, marks the choosing of a wolf’s mate.

Any takers, love?”

Paling, he snapped his widened eyes back up to Lily and she nodded slightly, smiling, before proceeding to take notes as if nothing earth shattering had just taken place.

Which it had. Most definitely.

Remus had to choose a mate in two days. Or maybe a year and two days?.. Or had he already chosen, without telling them? No, of course not, he would have told them… He wouldn’t hide something like that…or would he? Racking his brain for anyone that could possibly be considered Remus’…mate…Sirius could come up with none. No, that was definitely not the case. Yet.

Any takers… Damn Lily and her intuitiveness. Did she have to know everything? Sirius decided that if she and James ever got married, their kid would have a hell of a time trying to get anything past them. They were like hawks, those two.

Any takers… He only wished… But this explained Remus’ sudden withdrawn stance. He had a choice to make… Knowing Remus, he probably resented that fact, just like he resented everything else that had anything to do with his curse. This sudden flash of insightfulness surprised Sirius greatly, as he folded the note, then promptly pocketed it, and he decided to talk to Remus. Maybe he could help him somehow?.. Probably not, his insightful side told him. Sighing, he risked another glance at Moony and felt a stirring, this time somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach. It was a churning, nervous and pleasant at the same time. He’d felt it before. He felt it the first time he looked at Remus and realized that he was in love with him. He felt it every time Remus smiled at him. He wanted to feel it again – and always.

The bell snapped him out of his slightly melancholy thoughts, and Sirius quickly put away his blank parchment and unused quill. Looking over at Lily, he groaned inwardly as she beckoned him to follow her. James, who had bounded up to them a second later with Peter in tow, raised his eyebrows slightly when Lily told him that she wanted to talk to Sirius alone, but said nothing as his girlfriend lead Sirius out by his sleeve a second later. Sirius only had time to notice the look of mild surprise on Remus’s face as he had finished gathering up his things.

“What, Lil?” he muttered the second they were out of earshot.

“I need to talk to you,” she said, as if that was supposed to explain everything, and kept tugging at his sleeve. He had a sudden flashback to his childhood, his mother leading him out of Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor in Diagon Alley after he had “accidentally” spilled his pumpkin juice onto some old witch, who had offered to buy him another, smiling, her wand fixed on him the entire time. Smirking, he freed his arm and answered:

“Yes, mum. Where we going, anyway?”

“Library.”

“’Course…” he groaned, cursing the day James ever got involved with a Prefect turned Head Girl. He decided to ignore the fact that James himself was a Prefect turned Head Boy, and that Lily was more than prone to mischief herself. When they had finally trekked up the stairs and into the “world of knowledge” as Lily liked to call it in moments of wide-eyed curiosity, Sirius remembered that he was missing lunch.

“All right, make it quick, Lil, I’m hungry.”

“Fine,” she answered, and slid her rucksack off her shoulders. “Now, what are you going to do about Lupercalia?” She was eyeing him seriously, her arms folded at her chest.

“Why me?” he attempted lamely, knowing she wouldn’t let him skive off the topic for a second.

“You know perfectly well why. Sirius, it’s written all over your face. You love him.”

Blushing and hating every second of it, Sirius raked a hand through his messy black hair, and let out a huff of air.

“I do.” It was the first time he’d said at out loud to anyone, and it felt…nice. “I love him…” he tried it again. It didn’t sound any less…nice.

“Well, then?”

“Well, then, what?” he asked irritably. “It’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way, so what would I say? ‘Hey, Moony, I heard you’re looking for a mate, fancy giving it a go with me?’ Ha!” he barked. It would never work.

“It’s not,” she said quietly.

“It’s not what?”

“Not obvious. You’re just too busy wallowing in your own self pity to notice anything.”

“Pardon? Self pity?” he asked, when the last thing she had said suddenly hit him. “Wait, what? Notice anything? What do you mean?” Sirius demanded, looking her straight in the eye, hoping against hope...

“I mean, you never know, Sirius. I don’t know anything for a fact…” Sirius slumped visibly, and she gently reached out and touched his arm. “But it’s not out of the question.” Fixing him with her unfathomable green eyes, Lily smiled: “Look, Sirius, think about it. Who could take better care of him? Who would love him the way you do? I know that a lot of people could love him, he’s quite an amazing person, but why would you want any of them with him? You know him, he’s your best friend. You help him. Remus knows that. He understands it.”

“But he doesn’t love me, Lily!” he exclaimed loudly, startling even himself. Lowering his voice, he continued: “Look, I don’t…I don’t want to force myself on him. I don’t want him to take me for those reasons…”

“Then let him take you for yours.” Lily gave him another reassuring smile, and left, planting a doubt and a choice in his mind. Remembering that he was, after all, Sirius Black, he decided that he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try to make the best of the two.