Abandoned

Harry Potter sat in his preferred armchair in the Gryffindor Common Room, twiddling a small chess piece between his fingers. The other fifteen tokens stood in their positions on the chessboard before him, silently awaiting the game that would not come. It used to be that every Thursday night would find Harry and Ron in a fierce chess battle, often with Hermione beside them rambling on about how they should be studying instead of playing. However, those days were long gone and Harry was now forced to simply sit with half a set of chess pieces and stare into the fire.

It had all happened so suddenly for him.

The summer after his fifth year had been rather uneventful. He had received a never-ending stream of letters from his friends all summer. They were so concerned with him after the events of the previous year that it seemed necessary that he receive thirty letters a week. These included a very stern, two-foot long letter from Hermione ordering him not to blame himself for what happened to Sirius. He had done his best to obey her, not even wanting to think about what happened in the Department of Mysteries. All the same, he was still haunted in his sleep by terrible nightmares of that dreadful night. In addition he had the ever-present visions of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Harry tried practicing Occlumency every night, just to get the nightmares out of his head, but it never worked. For him, the day he would return to Hogwarts simply couldn't come soon enough.

On the eve of his sixteenth birthday, Lupin and Tonks came to retrieve Harry from the Dursleys and take him back to Grimmauld Place. He was thrilled to see both of them, and didn't hesitate when he was instructed to pack his things. With the help of the now green-haired Tonks, he was ready for departure in a matter of minutes. They were transported out of Privet Drive via a coffee mug portkey, and the sight that met Harry's eyes when they reappeared at the Order Headquarters dazzled him. The musty gloom that surrounded the house had completely evaporated and the once dismal residence seemed utterly royal. The portrait of Mrs. Black was gone and her shrieks no longer filled the hallways. Only one thing remained to give remembrance of what the house had once been: the row of severed house-elf heads, which now included Kreacher's.

It seemed like most of the house was deserted when Harry arrived. Lupin and Tonks pointed Harry up the stairs to his bedroom, saying that the Order would be starting a meeting in a few minutes and he would have to wait upstairs until they were through. As he was ascending the steps two at a time, he was suddenly thrown back by Ginny Weasley as she caught him in a warm bear hug. After recovering from the shock of the impact, he hugged her in return.

"Harry!" she exclaimed. "It's so good to see you! I've been so worried!"

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, then backed away, blushing to the point she resembled a tomato with hair. Harry didn't notice though. He was stunned by her action and the touch of her lips against his skin had sent chills down his spine.

"So," she said awkwardly. "How was your summer?"

"F-fine," Harry stammered. "And yours?"

"Oh, good," she replied.

There was a brief moment of silence between them as they both carefully avoided the other's eyes.

"Where're Ron and Hermione?" Harry inquired, breaking the silence.

Ginny's expression went from one of embarrassment to one of smugness. She motioned for him to follow her up the stairs and said, "I think there's something you need to see."

She led him up to the second story, down the hallway, and came to stop in front of the Drawing Room door. Ginny put her finger to her lips and whispered, "Quiet."

Harry gave her a curious look as she pulled out her wand, pointed it as the door, and muttered, "Transparentium!"

The door seemed to have disappeared completely. But as Harry studied it, he could still make out the faint outline of the woodwork; the door was there, but it was transparent. Ginny tapped his shoulder to make him return his attention to what was inside the room. As Harry glanced into the now clean room, his mouth dropped open in shock. Ron was spread out on an armchair, Hermione was on top of him, and they were indulging in extremely passionate (almost disgusting) kissing. Hermione had her hands in Ron's blazing red hair and Ron's arms were wrapped around her waist, squeezing her bottom.

Slowly, Harry's gape turned to a smirk.

"Well I'll be," he said softly. "It's about time."

He stood up to walk back toward his bedroom. Ginny returned the door to normal and hurried after him. They grinned at eachother and he asked, "How long?"

"Since about two weeks ago," she replied. "They come up here every day for a good snog. Not that I watch them, but I know."

Harry frowned. "Two weeks? Why didn't they tell me?"

"They haven't told anyone," she said. "I just figured it out from the way they always sit across from each other and make goo-goo eyes at every meal. Not that it surprised me. Half of Hogwarts already knew they liked eachother."

"Yeah," Harry said. "I'd say they're going to give themselves away easily at school if they do that all the time."

"Should we keep it a secret?" she asked.

Harry chuckled. "Now Ginny, is that even possible for you?"

She rolled her eyes and punched her friend playfully on the arm.

"Watch it there Weasley or I'll give you detention!" Harry said in a mocking tone of Draco Malfoy.

"Potter! Fifty points from Gryffindor for mocking other students!" Ginny hissed in an amazing representation of Professor Snape.

The both broke into a fit of laughing and continued making fun of Snape and Malfoy all the way down the hall.

***

Now, as Harry looked back on all of that, he couldn't help but scoff at his own stupidity. How could he ultimately assume that Ron and Hermione's new relationship wouldn't affect him? He knew that things would be slightly different, with two of the trio seeing each other, but he never imagined it would change like this. The couple had finally divulged their relationship on the Hogwarts Express to Harry and Ginny alone, saying they had not wanted the rest of the Order to know about it (Mrs. Weasley in particular). Harry and Ginny had, of course, feigned surprise and congratulated them, and the rest of the journey had been lighthearted and full of idle chitchat. Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood both made an appearance, and the six of them engaged in a poker tournament, betting chocolate frog cards, small amounts of knuts, and various other prizes. All too soon they arrived at Hogsmeade Station and they made their way up to the carriages. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna grabbed one for themselves and rode up to the castle that had become home for all of them. The Arrival Feast was spectacular. Never was a more delectable plethora of food laid before them. Everyone ate, drank, and had the time of their lives. After everyone was full and Dumbledore dismissed them, the celebrations filtered out into the House common rooms where everyone jabbered on about Quidditch, classes, and Hogsmeade. By the time the last exhausted student slouched off to bed it was 12:30 at night. It was the beginning of a new year, and at that moment even Voldemort couldn't disrupt the sheer bliss the filled the castle.

All of that joy was now but a faint and distant memory for Harry as he sat brooding over his own misery. Everything had come crashing down about him as the year progressed. While he had thought he, Ron, and Hermione would still be thick as thieves, little did he know that the passion between his two best friends blazed with the heat of the sun. With each passing day they seemed to be drifting further and further away from him. The couple spent every waking minute together, and rarely spent any time with their best friend. It was as if they had forgotten Harry's existence, something that disturbed Harry much so. He was at a point in his life where he needed compassion and friendship the most; with the death of Sirius, Voldemort, and the prophecy hanging over his head, he longed desperately for his two best friends, just to have someone to talk to. Not that he was totally alone; he could still talk to Neville and Luna, since they could understand what he was going through, but they could not fill the void in his soul that had been left by Ron and Hermione. His godfather might have been able help him, if he hadn't died because of Harry's stupidity. The thought of Sirius's untimely death still nagged at the back of Harry's mind like a bad itch he could not scratch. Sirius had been Harry's last remaining outlet to his parents, and now that he was gone Harry had no one to talk to about them. Of course, he had told himself, he could always talk to Ginny. But truth be told, he felt he would rather talk to Snape at that moment then talk to her. He was in love with Ginny Weasley, and love was not something Harry Potter took lightly. It was, without a doubt, true love, and he had known it since she had kissed him back at Grimmauld Place. She had always been a wonderful friend, but Harry had never really took the time to notice some of her more admirable qualities: he vibrant, flowing red hair, her magnificent, slender figure, her beautiful face, her melodic laugh, and her enchanting smile. All these traits made up the Ginny he knew and loved, and even though he knew she would be more than willing to help him, he could not bring himself to talk to her. Whenever he got near her he would get tongue-tied and start sweating, then would have to race out of the room. He wanted nothing more to tell her how he felt, but his fear of rejection prevented it. That was it. He felt like he had no one else left that could heal his aching heart. He, Harry Potter, felt abandoned.

Standing up, he thrust the chess piece he had been holding into the fire. The miniscule figure shrieked in horror as it was slowly consumed by the flames, but its cries did not affect Harry in the least. He ran a finger across his forehead and over his scar, which continually ached with pain.

Dammit, he thought. I've got a Potions essay to finish.

His bag lay beside him, since he had dropped it and settled into the armchair the moment he had returned from his last class of the day. Snape would kill him if he didn't have the two feet of parchment on Wolfbane finished by the next class, and the sinister professor would take pride in doing so. Why did he continue to take Potions anyway? He had asked himself that questions countless times, but the answer was always the same. You have to if you want to be an Auror.

Harry shook his head. He almost didn't care anymore whether he qualified to be an Auror or not. There was still no guarantee he would even live to see the end of his school days, let alone a career as an adult. Sometimes he felt as though he might be better off if Voldemort killed him. Then he would not longer half to live with the pain. But he could not let the wizarding world down. If he died, he would take Voldemort with him.

Why was life so cruel to him? He wondered this for many an hour. Was it not bad enough he had to be the killer or the killed in the final battle? Did his abandonment by his friends have to be added to this horrific fate? These questions hammered his brain constantly in the eternity he was forced to spend alone. Then again, aren't we all constantly bothered by that universal question that God alone can answer? That one true answer to every mystery that has graced the face of the earth? That one eternal question: Why?

Harry tried to shake away all these thoughts and pulled out a piece of parchment to begin his essay. However, fifteen minutes and four crumpled pieces of parchment later, his muses about his fate continued to ransack his brain. He slammed his fist on the table, knocking a glass vase to the floor and causing it to shatter. He then proceeding to jump up abruptly, kick the table upside-down, and toss his Advanced Potions book onto the floor, all the while thinking he was alone in the common room.

***

Ginny Weasley watched Harry from a secluded corner of the common room where she was concealed by the shadows. She had been observing him for the past hour, from the time he had merely been lost in thought, to the time he had begun burning through several pieces of parchment in an obvious attempt to write something. It killed her to see him in such a frustrated state. Any time Harry was upset, she was upset. When he cried, she nearly broke into tears herself. That's how much she cared for him. She loved him, loved him so much it hurt. Sure, it had started out as a crush in her first year, and she had eventually gotten over it, but as her friendship with Harry grew ever stronger over the years, she realized that something new was developing in her. She had not realized it until after the events in the Department of Mysteries, and when she had, it was like a dark veil of confusion had been lifted to reveal a new light that was her love for Harry Potter. Everyday after she pined for him, even though she didn't have to courage to tell him of her feelings. She knew he didn't return them, just as he hadn't when she had had a crush on him in her first year. Friendship was the most she was ever going to get out of him, she felt, and she could not bear the pain that would come of rejection. When she had first seen him upon his return, she was filled with an almost uncontrollable joy. It had been hard for her to contain herself, and the kiss on the cheek she had given him had been a momentary lapse. Luckily, she was able to distract him by revealing Ron and Hermione's newfound relationship.

When Harry kicked the table over, Ginny had been frightened and let out a small yelp. Harry whirled around and his eyes raced around the common room, looking for the source of the noise.

"Who's there?" he called out.

She had no other choice.

Ginny stepped out of the shadows and stared straight at Harry. His gaze landed on her, and for a brief moment their eyes met. She found herself drowning in those emerald green pools, but he quickly looked away, snapping her back to life.

"Oh," he said. "It's just you, Gin."

He moved to replace the table in front of the couch and pick up his papers. All the while Ginny remained standing there, watching him intently. He was clearly aware of her intense stare, as he kept shifting around uncomfortably.

"How long have you been here?" he inquired.

"A while," she answered.

He sighed. "So I guess you saw my little breakdown?"

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I wasn't spying on you or anything. Are you all right?"

"Fine," he replied hastily.

She could tell he was anxious and steadily began to approach him. This only seemed to unnerve him more. When she was three feet away from him he still had not looked up. She placed her hand on his shoulder and could feel him shiver beneath her touch.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes," he said flatly, though his voice was shaky.

She did not believe him. It was clear by the tone of his voice that he was lying.

"Harry," she whispered. "Look at me."

He hesitated, but did as he was told. Ginny gasped as she saw tears streaming down from behind his glasses. She stared at him for a moment, feeling her eyes water as she did so.

"Harry," she said softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" he blurted out. "I'm fine!"

"Harry," she said. "You're not. Tell me the truth. I'm your friend Harry! You can talk to me!"

"I can't!" he cried. "You wouldn't understand!"

"Try me," she said.

He gaped at her as if he couldn't believe his ears, but the look on her face told him she was perfectly sincere.

She helped him up to sit on the couch and sat down next to him.

"It's just," he began. "I miss Ron and Hermione. They never spend time with me anymore. They're always spending time with each other instead. Sometimes I just feel like they don't care about me anymore."

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry!" Ginny exclaimed. "That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard! Ron and Hermione are your friends and they love you! I'm sure they just want some time to themselves."

"I don't know," Harry sighed. "Maybe you're right. But it's not just them. It seems like no one cares about me anymore. I mean-"

"Harry James Potter!" Ginny screeched, standing up. "Don't you dare talk like that! Of course people care about you! More people care for you than you could possibly imagine! Ron and Hermione love you! My mum and dad love you! I love you!"

She quickly clasped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened with shock.

No, she thought. I didn't just say that!

She waited quietly for a response, but Harry merely stared blankly back at her. He appeared as though all ability of speech had been drained from him. Ginny felt the tears rising in her eyes again.

Oh no, now he's going to hate me.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to her, he spoke.

"You love me?"

Ginny was shaking like mad, but there was no turning back now. Ever so slightly, she nodded.

Harry looked transfixed. He appeared as though someone had just told him Voldemort was dead and he would not have to face him afterall. Harry always had accepted extreme news such as this with a quiet manner, as if he didn't believe it. Slowly, he averted his eyes away from her and stared back into the fire. Ginny was shaking harder than ever; she could not bear the silence.

"I s-sorry, Harry," she stammered. "I shouldn't have t-told you."

When he didn't respond, she made to leave the common room, to run upstairs to her dorm and cry into the pillows. Just as she had turned her back he spoke again.

"Wait," he said.

She turned around to look directly into his eyes. She was losing herself in them once again, even if they were stained with tears. He rose up off the sofa to his full height, towering a full six inches above her. She felt her heartbeat rapidly increase as he closed the proximity between them. His face was moving ever closer and she could make out the tiny droplets of sweat that were creeping down his forehead. She could feel his warm breath caress her face as he leaned in toward her, closer and closer.

At long last, their lips touched.

From the very instant their lips met, Ginny was lost in the endless abyss that was Harry Potter. His kiss sent chills throughout her entire body right down to the tips of her toes. Her soul was free and soaring with happiness, higher and higher as he deepened the kiss. The ground gave way beneath her and she was floating in the clouds with Harry, and Harry alone.

For his part, Harry had never felt better in his life. The dreary cloud that had surrounded his soul for the past few months vanished as he kissed Ginny. It was like nothing he had felt before. It was happiness, relief, and pleasure all at once. His mind was suddenly empty of everything, save that of the woman before him. He felt her wrap her arms around him and pull him tighter to her. His fingers weaved their way through her long, red locks and slowly ran down her back. Anguish was gone; it had been conquered by the joy that Ginny was instilling in him. All too soon, the kiss ended.

When they broke apart, her eyes were closed, and when they fluttered open, Harry was smiling at her.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he whispered.

"Me too," she replied.

"Ginny?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder.

"I know," she said softly.

For a moment they merely stood there, Ginny's head on Harry's shoulder, just savoring each other's presence.

"Ginny," Harry whispered. "Can you promise me something?"

She looked up at him adoringly.

"Anything, Harry."

He sighed. "Don't ever abandon me, please. If you did, I don't think I could survive. I sorry I can't promise the same to you, with Voldemort and everything, but I just want to know you'll always be there for me."

She stared at him for moment with a peculiar expression, but then her face returned to that enchanting smile of hers.

"I will always be there for you, Harry," she said

He grinned and hugged her tight.

"And so will Ron and Hermione," she added. "They just need a little time to themselves. But don't worry, you're still important to them and they won't forget you."

All of Harry's doubt had flooded out of his body. Somehow, hearing these words coming from Ginny made them seem more truthful. That, and the fact that he now had her love, made him feel ten times stronger. All the dismal thoughts he had had over the past few months disappeared and he was left with only one emotion: Happiness. Suddenly, he didn't feel abandoned anymore.