Sleeping

Harry stormed to the Slytherin dorms in a fury, almost spitting out the password and shoving at the wall when the door didn't open fast enough. Blaise looked up from his book in startled astonishment as Harry stalked into the Slytherin commons.

"Harry, aren't you and Draco--" Blaise began, but he snapped his mouth shut when Harry turned furious eyes on him.

"Where?" The word was a growl. Blaise pointed down the stairs silently, and exhaled in relief when Harry bounded toward the dormitories.

"What was that about?" Pansy asked in consternation, and Blaise shrugged.

"Maybe we should go find out?" Vincent questioned softly.

"Do we want to be in on one of their spats?" Greg wondered. The Slytherins looked at each other for a long moment before turning back to their previous activities.

~*~*~*~

"Open up, Draco, I know you're in there!" Harry was shouting, pounding on the locked wooden door. "I'm not leaving until you do! Open right now, or I swear I'll break the door down! Draco!"

The door opened suddenly, and Draco appeared in the entrance. "You don't need to shout, Potter. I can hear you quite well."

Harry was taken aback for a moment at the timbre of Draco's unconcerned drawl, wondering just how Draco could sound so self-assured while he still had pink pixies flying about his head. But then he saw the slight trembling of Draco's fingertips on the doorknob and the redness of his eyes. "What's going on, Draco? Are-are you all right?"

"I'm perfectly fine." Draco's throat bobbed quickly as he swallowed. "Why are you asking?"

"I... why am I asking?" Harry stuttered, looking at his boyfriend in shock. "It's-it's our anniversary tonight, and-"

"And I owled you, and said I couldn't make it. I've had a really trying day today, Harry. I'm exhausted." Draco crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe.

"But... we've had tonight planned for weeks." Harry's voice was small, and he looked beseechingly at Draco. "Just... I just want to be with you tonight." He offered a tentative grin. "I could hold you, and we could fall asleep together, like we did in the Charms cabinet that one time?"

Draco rolled his eyes, and Harry felt foolish. "Honestly, Potter. It's only six months... Why do we need to celebrate it, anyway?"

"Wh-why do we need to celebrate?" Harry sputtered, taking a step back. Why was Draco even being like this? He was still a bastard sometimes, but this was pushing it. Harry pinned Draco with a glare, his eyes sparking green fire. "You were the one who wanted to celebrate tonight, you prat! How dare you even try-- You piss me off so much, Malfoy! You stand me up on a night you planned for, and all I get is a goddamned 'I had a bad day'? What the hell is that all about??"

Draco's jaw clenched, and he took a step forward. "Exactly what I said, Potter. I had a bad fucking day. And you can't even trust me enough to leave me in my room? There was a reason I canceled, damn it, and that's because I want to be alone! Alone! Without you hanging on me all the time and Hermione giving me those you-should-be-studying looks and Pansy not giving me these god-damned pixies, and I just want to breathe for one moment, just be alone for one moment. And you come running in here with your Gryffindor notions of romance and--what did you come here for? To rescue me? To shout at me about how I bruised your pride by not coming when called?" Draco ran a hand through his hair angrily and slumped against the doorframe once more, shaking his head unsteadily. "You know what, Potter? Just go. Just leave."

Harry sucked in a calming breath, and reached out to Draco. "All right, we just need to cool down, and then we'll talk, okay?"

Draco jerked away from Harry's touch as if it burned. "I don't want you to come back."

"W-what?" Harry stammered in disbelief.

"You heard me." Draco took a deep breath. His hand was clenched so hard around the doorknob that his knuckles were white. "I don't want to see you anymore. It's over."

Harry laughed weakly, his eyes glued to Draco's unforgiving face. "Just like that? We survived your father... and Voldemort just so you could break up with me over whether or not to celebrate our anniversary?"

Draco's eyes bored mercilessly into Harry's, and he gave a curt nod. "Don't come near me again, Potter. I don't want you anymore." And then suddenly Harry was staring at the grain of the door as it slammed in his face, and he leaned his burning cheek against the cool wood. He had always thought that breaking up with somebody would hurt--that's what everyone always said, this person hurt that person, but now Harry could tell them they were all wrong. He felt numb, as if someone had ripped something out of him. It didn't hurt at all, because he couldn't feel.

Harry stumbled up the steps less than gracefully, tripping over the rough stone. He blinked and looked around him with a detached air, wondering why everything looked so different even though he had been in here several times before. Suddenly, the other Slytherins surrounded him, and they all looked at him expectantly as he stared at them in confusion.

"Well?" Pansy burst out, unable to rein in her impatience any longer. "Why aren't you two having hot make-up sex right now? A shouting match like that always leads to the hot sex!"

"Pansy!" Blaise admonished, but he watched eagerly for the answer when Harry opened his mouth.

"We were fighting..." He murmured, his throat suddenly dry. "We were fighting, and..."

"And?" Blaise asked impatiently. "Why aren't you guys having sex?"

"Blaise!" Pansy admonished gleefully, and Blaise shot his girlfriend a dirty look.

Harry pictured the coldness in Draco's eyes, the firmness of Draco's clenched jaw, and realization cascaded down on him. "Draco doesn't want me anymore."

And there-there-was the pain. A burning agony started in Harry's chest, and he tried to suck in a breath, but he couldn't, and he wasn't getting enough air-- Harry fell to his knees and gasped, shutting his eyes tightly as tears stung beneath his eyelids. "I don't know what I did wrong -he doesn't want me anymore--he told me to stay away but how can I? Why does this hurt so much? What did I do?"

Pansy gaped in shock, and remarkably, it was Greg who offered Harry some sympathy. he heaved Harry up to his feet and dragged him to the couch. "It'll be okay," Greg reassured patting Harry's back. "Draco loves you. He's just... It's his time of month, or something. You know how he gets."

"Maybe he's just feeling really out of sorts," Blaise hastened to agree. "And he'll come bearing chocolate tomorrow and begging you to forgive him."

"No," Harry disagreed dully. "No, he meant it. He told me-he told me that he didn't want to see me any more. Why? Is it something I can fix?" Harry ran a hand through his hair and touched the rim of his eyeglasses hesitantly. My glasses? I know he said something about contacts but I always thought he was joking but maybe-"

"How dare he!" Pansy exploded suddenly, and Harry stopped his tirade to stare at her in surprise. "How dare he?" she repeated furiously. "He makes us accept you, and now he just throws you away? You're my friend, and Slytherins never forget their friends--and he's going to regret making you cry!" Pansy stormed down the stairs to the dormitories. There was the sound of a door slamming open, and then Pansy shouting at the top of her lungs.

Harry and the others cringed as they heard a loud crash, and Harry could almost see Draco's crystal vase shattering against the dungeon wall. There was the sound of more shouting, and then a heavy silence. Pansy came climbing back up to the common room, blinking in surprise.

"Well?" Blaise encouraged her, standing up and going to her side.

Pansy looked up at him, and her dark eyes were cloudy with confusion. "I don't know what's wrong with him, Blaise. I--I've never seen him like this before. I just don't know." Blaise and Pansy sat down next to Harry on the couch, and they remained there in pained silence, wondering what had happened to the Draco they knew.

"Did he say anything to you before..." Vincent trailed off, and Harry shook his head.

"All he said was he had a bad day, and... it's over." There was a longer moment of silence, and then they heard the sound of footsteps trudging over the stone stairs reluctantly. Draco climbed the rest of the steps and made his way wearily toward the entrance of the common room.

"Draco Malfoy!" Blaise called suddenly, and Draco darted a look over at the crowded couch. "Come here right now. We need to talk."

"I don't have anything I need to talk about." Draco replied coldly, and Blaise walked over to him, flanked by the other Slytherins.

"You hurt Pansy's feelings," Blaise murmured.

"She should have minded her own business," Draco declared in undertone.

"You made Harry cry."

Draco shrugged. "Gryffindors are too easy."

"He's our friend!" Pansy declared angrily. "You can't just say stuff about him like that. You love him."

"Your friend, hmm?" Draco arched an eyebrow. "Fine, you go play with Potter. Crabbe and Goyle were always my real friends anyway." Draco sighed and stepped away from the doorway, closer to Vincent and Greg.

"Stop," Harry said, shaking his head as he stood up. "I don't want you guys fighting."

"But--" Blaise began.

Pansy looked between Harry and Draco, wringing her hands. "You're both our friends, can't you just... make up? Please?"

"I don't know what idiotic little pieces of romanticism have leaked into your brain over the years, but I'm sorry to disappoint you and say that there will be no happy ending." Draco's eyes flashed. "So if you like Potter that much, you can go to his tower and play Exploding Snap with all of the stupid Mudbloods and dream of candied flowers and how best to be a Gryffindor wannabe--"

The sound echoed in the common room abruptly, and Draco stared at Pansy in disbelief, reaching a hand to his face to touch a rapidly reddening cheek. "You hit me," he whispered incredulously.

"You deserved it!" Pansy hissed furiously. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you Draco, but obviously something is, and unless you tell us now, we... we won't be around to hear it!"

Blaise nodded affirmatively, watching Draco calmly. "We can't be your friends if you can't trust us, Draco."

Draco was silent, his throat moving as he swallowed and turned to Vincent and Greg. "What about you?" He asked obstinately. "Are you going to disapprove of me as well?"

"Well," Vincent began hesitantly. "We do kind of like Harry--but we like you too..."

"Make a decision." Draco said implacably. "Him or me." There was a long moment when everyone watched Greg and Vincent, and the two large boys shuffled uncomfortably. Draco seemed to be shrinking into himself the longer no one spoke, and suddenly he straightened, his eyes stark in his pale face. "Fine," Draco spat. "I'll make the choice for you." Draco glared around at the circle of Slytherins, and Harry frowned. Draco looked exhausted. Harry stepped forward, with an outreached hand, his first instinct still to comfort the boy he loved. Draco recoiled violently, and pushed past his friends. "I don't need any of you anyway!" he spat over his shoulder, and he vanished into his dormitory again.

"Did he just..." Blaise wondered in shock, looking down at Pansy.

"I... can't believe it," Pansy whispered. "He's never..."

Vince looked at the other Slytherins in horror. "What are we going to do without Draco?"

One by one, they turned to Harry, who slumped back on the couch, his head resting in his hands. "Tonight's been so wrong," he murmured, and Pansy took a deep breath.

"If that's the way he wants it, fine. He gets to be the one to apologize." Pansy looked firmly at Harry and planted her hands on her hips. "So, Harry. Let's go play Exploding Snap with the Gryffindors."

~*~*~*~

A week crawled by, and it was obvious to Harry that his Slytherin friends were getting bored hanging out with the Gryffindors, but Draco hadn't apologized. Draco was rarely seen outside of class and at meals he sat in a secluded corner of the table. Sitting by himself, he looked so small and vulnerable to Harry. Pansy and Blaise spared him a look every time he passed them, but he kept his eyes straight ahead, not deigning to notice their concern. Vincent and Greg had attempted to sit near him once, and for their pains all they got were an icy look and a few hissed words that had them running back to Pansy and Blaise.

"I'm sorry," Ron muttered suddenly, and Harry jumped, surprised from his deliberation of Draco.

"About what, Ron?" he asked, his forehead furrowing in confusion.

"About Draco. It was my fault, wasn't it? I said that he probably went back to his bastard ways as a joke, and now he's worse." Ron fidgeted uncomfortably, clenching his napkin in his hand.

Harry shook his head, offering Ron a smile. "No, Ron, you had nothing to do with it. It's him." He looked toward the Slytherin table again.

"Did you know that Malfoy resigned from his Seeker position?" Seamus asked Dean, and he jumped when Harry leaned toward him in shock.

"He did what?" Harry exclaimed. "He can't!" Harry cast his eyes over to Draco again and frowned as he saw Professor Snape leaning over him, the two talking urgently. Harry stood up and started over to the Slytherin table, and Snape's head reared up, pinning him with a dark glance. Draco looked up and narrowed his eyes, standing up abruptly and skirting the bench he was sitting on before walking quickly toward the door of the Great Hall, Snape following after him silently.

Harry fought against the urge to follow them out of the hall and continued his course to the Slytherin table, sliding in next to Vincent and Blaise. "What is going on with him?" Harry demanded. "What are he and Snape up to?"

"How are we supposed to know?" Pansy shot back. "He doesn't need any of us, remember?"

"I'm following him," Harry decided firmly, and he stood up, striding to the door. He hurried down the corridor, turning the corner quickly. He darted behind a suit of armor as Snape and Draco came into view. Harry was surprised at how slowly they were walking; he'd expected to run halfway to the dungeons before finding them. He remained hidden, following slowly as snatches of conversation drifted back to him.

"You are squandering your strength foolishly, Draco." Snape was saying, helping Draco along by gripping his elbow. "That little display of running away exhausted you."

"I did not run away," Draco squawked indignantly. "It was... a strategic retreat."

Snape smirked and shook his head. "You still haven't told Potter anything, have you?"

Haven't told me what?

Harry wondered as he followed them into the dungeons. Draco was remaining stubbornly silent as they walked ahead of him, and Harry was beginning to hate the fact that they could remain silent so easily. Draco and Snape entered the empty Potions classroom, and Snape turned away from Draco, nudging the door closed. It didn't shut completely, and Harry scurried over to it, easing it open further so that he could peer into the room.

"He doesn't need to know." Draco burst out suddenly, looking imploringly at Snape. "It's better that way, right? If he hates me, it won't matter."

Snape remained silent, inclining his head slightly. "Remove your robe," he ordered, pulling his wand out. Draco sighed and complied with the request, edging his way over to sit in a chair. Snape muttered a few words that Harry didn't catch, and Draco's body glowed red for a moment. "You should have Poppy complete your physicals, Draco."

"I trust you, Professor. That's what matters, right? It's not like it's going to change anything."

Snape inclined his head again and turned away from the blond boy. "How many attacks have you had today?"

Softly, "Three."

Snape raised a hand and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Your body is building up a tolerance to my potions, Draco. If you don't act with caution, you will find yourself in the infirmary--or worse--before you are ready."

Draco sighed, resting his head in his hands. "I know."

"You should start thinking about how you want to spend your time. Do you honestly want to be ostracized from your peers, left with only me for company?" Snape busied his hands by reaching for a bluish potion and pouring it into a vial that he handed to Draco.

Draco looked up and grinned, accepting the vial. "You aren't bad company, despite what you would like to think." Snape chuckled, and Draco grimaced as he downed the potion. "Ugh."

Draco grinned at Snape again, and Snape paused, placing a hand on Draco's shoulder as he looked down at the boy sadly. "Draco, I want you to know that I--"

Draco nodded. "I know, sir. You don't need to say it."

Snape dropped his hand. "Good. Now, out. I have things to do, and you have homework, if I am not mistaken."

"Unfortunately, you aren't." Draco sighed forlornly and stood up, heading toward the door. Harry backpedaled quickly, and stumbled into a large obstacle in the middle of the empty hallway.

"Wha--" Harry looked around frantically and winced as Draco stepped out, closing the door behind him. The bemused expression of affection vanished from Draco's pale face as his eyes lit upon Harry, and he glowered.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Draco took a step away from Harry as he sneered.

Harry felt hands pushing on his back, and stumbled forward. "I--I wanted to make sure you were all right. I heard you resigned from playing Seeker."

Draco's mouth compressed angrily and his eyes narrowed into glimmering slits. "You came all the way down here to discuss Quidditch?" Draco made a small, disgusted sound, still pinning Harry with that angry glare. "How much did you hear, Potter?"

Harry ignored the question, taking another step forward. "What's wrong, Draco? Why do you need physicals? What's going on?"

Draco swallowed, his hands trembling as he curled them into fists. "It's none of your concern."

"The fuck it isn't any of my concern!" Harry growled. "Regardless of how you feel about me, I still love you. I deserve to know what's happening to you!"

Draco's trembling deepened, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Nothing."

"Stop lying to me!" Harry cried, flinging his arm out. His hand caught something in the air and he and Draco stared in surprise as their friends appeared from underneath what appeared to be miles of invisibility cloak.

They smiled nervously and pointed at Ron. "He got the cloak."

Ron pointed at Hermione. "She did the enlargement spell!"

Hermione pointed at Pansy. "She got everyone else involved, Harry!"

Vince and Greg looked past Harry and gulped. "Uh oh."

Harry spun back to face Draco and found the other boy gasping, his eyes wide in fury, spots of color burning hotly on each cheek. "How dare you!" Draco spat. "How dare any of you! Why are you following me? Didn't I make it clear that I didn't want any of you around? What were you intending to do? Humiliate me? Remind me of how you all chose him over me?"

This last comment was spat at the Slytherins, and Greg lowered his head. "You pushed us away, Draco," Greg said, firming his jaw and looking at Draco stubbornly.

Draco choked out a laugh, stumbling backward. "Me. Of course. So why the fuck won't you just... leave me... alone? Just--go away! Go away, go away, go awa--" Draco's shout ended in a strangled gasp, his hand reaching up to his chest. He pressed his fingers to his heart, shoulders slumping inward as he struggled to slow down his breathing.

"Draco, what--" Harry reached for the other boy as he swayed, blinking owlishly.

"Merlin," Draco wheezed, "Please not... now..." Draco's eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped to the ground, convulsing erratically.

"Draco!" Harry shouted, at Draco's side immediately. He lifted the boy into his lap, a panicked whine escaping his lips as Draco's head lolled back. "Quick, get Professor Snape!" Blaise dashed into the Potions classroom, nearly skidding in an attempt to keep from crashing into Professor Snape, who was coming out to see what all the commotion was about.

"Twenty points from all of you for disturbing my--" Snape cut off as he caught sight of Harry clutching Draco anxiously. "There are no words to describe his idiocy," Snape muttered instead, snatching Draco into his arms and turning down the hall quickly. Harry was pulled to his knees as he clung to Draco's sleeve before he heaved himself to his feet and followed Snape.

"What's going on? What's wrong with him?!" Harry demanded frantically, tugging on Snape's arm.

"Kindly control yourself, Mr. Potter!" Snape hissed, shaking him off. "Our priority is Mr. Malfoy. Your questions can be answered later." They all hurried to the infirmary.Madam Pomfrey only had to glance at the group before springing into action.

"Severus, put him over there." Madam Pomfrey gestured quickly as she hurried over to a cabinet to grab a murky looking container. Snape set Draco down gently on one of the infirmary beds.

"What's going on?" Pansy asked fearfully, and Madam Pomfrey shot her an annoyed glance.

"I don't have time to deal with this nonsense. Severus, take them out of here."

Snape turned and shot the teenagers a frosty glare that had them reluctantly vacating the room, one by one. Harry ignored Snape entirely, biting his lip as he watched Draco anxiously. Snape grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him into the hallway. "What's wrong with Draco, Professor?" Pansy asked softly as Harry slumped against the wall.

Snape took a deep breath and stared unblinkingly down at her. "He's sick."

"That was rather obvious, Professor," Hermione stated matter-of-factly.

"If you must have details," Snape declared icily, "Draco has inherited a virulent strain of Aeger Magicus."

Pansy and Blaise gasped; Ron paled. Vince and Greg's eyes widened as their backs stiffened.

Hermione frowned. "I...I've heard vague mentions of it in some of the texts I've read, but I don't exactly have a clear picture of what it is..."

Snape cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back. "The Aeger Magicus," Snape stated crisply, as though he were lecturing a class, "is a genetic disease usually carried by the DNA of particular pureblooded families. In said disease, the immune system of the wizard refuses to recognize the magical signature of its host and treats the genes inherent in the magic of the wizard as an invader, thereby choosing to attack said genes."

Hermione pressed a hand to her mouth in horror, and Harry looked around at his friends in confusion. "But," he began slowly. "It's curable, isn't it? I mean, it can be treated?"

"There were several promising treatments, but unfortunately, Mr. Malfoy has proven resistant to all of them," Snape answered.

Harry frowned and scratched the back of his head. "So he'll have to live as a Muggle? No wonder he's in such a bad mood."

"My god, Harry," Hermione suddenly burst out, "it's not as though he's a Squib! You can't say you don't understand what's happening!"

"Then make me understand!" Harry shouted, straightening and starting toward her. His heart was thundering in his chest, and somewhere in his mind, beneath his heartbeat and the roaring in his ears, he realized he was terrified. "If I'm not understanding, make me! Tell me something worse is going to happen! Tell me that I might never see him smile again, or here him call me an idiot. Tell me he might..." He pulled his glasses off and rubbed furiously at his burning eyes, slumping against the wall again.

"There isn't anything so merciful as a 'might', Potter," Snape informed him coolly. "Draco is dying."

A sob escaped Harry's throat as he slid down the wall and landed heavily on the stone floor. "No. Oh, god, don't let it be true."

Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose. "If this is how you chose to react, I sympathize with Draco's decision to isolate himself."

Harry raised his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. "He's known for that long?"

Snape inclined his head, and there was a long silence as the group of friends stared at each other in dawning realization. Madam Pomfrey bustled out of the infirmary, looking frazzled and tired. She thrust a list at Snape briskly and said, "I need this potion as soon as possible. I've used all my stock." Snape nodded and grabbed the list, taking off down the hall.

Harry pushed himself off of the floor. "Is he all right?"

Madam Pomfrey gave Harry a long look. "He's stable."

Harry adjusted his glasses. "May I see him?"

Madam Pomfrey gave a brief nod and gestured him into the room. "He's awake. I'll leave you two alone." She gave him a stern look. "Don't upset him, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded and stepped nervously into the infirmary. Draco was sitting up slightly, lying against a mound of stiff, white pillows. Harry crossed the space between them in two quick steps and tenderly brushed Draco's hair away from his forehead. "Hey, stupid," he said gently.

Draco attempted a grin, which wobbled precariously on his too-white lips. "Hey, yourself," he whispered.

Harry's eyes filled, and he pressed a kiss to the back of Draco's cold hand. "Why didn't you tell me, Draco?"

Draco turned his head to the side. "I didn't want you to see me like this," Draco revealed in a small, trembling voice. "I didn't want you to see me...weak."

Harry nudged Draco slightly and toed off his shoes before slipping onto Draco's bed, holding him closer. "It doesn't matter to me, Dray," Harry whispered, pressing his face to the top of Draco's head. "How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you understand?"

"I...do understand," Draco told Harry, turning slightly in his embrace to bury his head against Harry's shoulder. "I was just...trying to say 'I love you' too."

"By forcing me to stay away? By making me think you hated me?" Harry shook his head in frustration.

"By," Draco took a deep breath. "By making you hate me. By preventing you from losing...someone else you loved."

"Don't talk like that, Draco," Harry admonished. "You'll get better. You have to."

"I'm dying, Harry," Draco rested his hand on Harry's arm, gripping the sleeve. "Please, just. I don't want you hurt."

"Being without you does hurt," Harry insisted, brushing his fingers through Draco's hair. "I'll make it okay, Draco. I promise." Draco's shoulders started to shake, wetness dotting Harry's collar, and Harry held him tightly until he slept.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Harry, what are you doing?" Harry stopped his intent study of the book before him to blink at Hermione in confusion.

"I'm reading, Hermione. I have to learn everything I can about this thing if I'm going to cure it," Harry declared.

Hermione plopped into the seat next to him and looked at the title of one of the books. "What makes you think that you're going to be able to cure something entire teams of mediwizards have been unable to?"

"Because it's important to me," Harry hissed. "If you aren't going to help me, go away. I have a ton of reading to do." Harry was absorbed back into the book before Hermione had even left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry spent all of his free time in the library, poring over each medical tome for any knowledge of the disease that was slowly killing Draco. He skipped meals, went to bed late and woke early, skipped History of Magic, turning pages until his fingers were stained from the ink and bleeding from paper cuts. He couldn't remember what day it was, only that too many had passed without an answer.

"Harry," came a voice behind him, and he shrugged the hand off his shoulder absently.

"Go away. I'm busy," he said coldly.

The chair beside him scraped as it was pulled out. "Even for me?" Harry looked up to see Draco watching him apprehensively.

"Draco, shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" Harry demanded, clasping a white hand instantly.

"They released me three days ago," Draco declared quietly, turning his palm so that it met Harry's.

"You should go back. Rest. Take medicine," Harry insisted.

"Medicine isn't going to help!" Draco exclaimed in irritation, rolling his eyes. He gave Harry a crafty smile. "But a walk might, if you come with me."

"You need to rest," Harry said firmly. "And I need to find a cure. You're dying, Draco."

Draco recoiled from Harry, standing up as his chair toppled over. "I'm quite aware that I'm dying, Harry. I think it's you who doesn't understand."

Harry leapt up with a panicked look. "Don't get too excited! I don't want you hurting yourself!"

Draco stared at Harry in consternation, and then shook his head. "All right," he said, his voice calm and modulated. "It's not as though I really wanted to spend time with you anyway. You can go back to your book now."

Harry scowled. "You always try to guilt trip me, Draco. Not this time. It's too important. And besides, you're the one who stayed away from me for weeks!"

Draco didn't rise to the bait, watching Harry carefully. With a deep breath, as though he'd come to a decision, he held out his hand. "You held me... so tightly. I need you, Harry."

Harry clasped Draco's hand gently. "All right," Harry agreed, and watched happiness wash over Draco's face. "Let me be in here just a little while longer?"

Draco nodded once and let go of Harry. "I'll wait for you." Harry turned back to the books with a feverish intensity.

Ten minutes passed.

"Harry--"

"Just a few more minutes, Dray."

Another ten minutes.

"Harry, let's go--"

"Just a little longer, Dray, I promise."

Harry noticed the candles guttering out before he realized that Draco had left him alone in the library hours ago.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry jerked his hand away just before the book was slammed shut. He looked up in irritated surprise to see a furious Hermione. "What are you doing, Harry?"

Harry blinked. "I'm researching, Hermione. You know that."

"Harry, you're skipping all of your classes. You've lost Gryffindor over two hundred points! Madame Pince knows you better than she knows me! Professor Snape has all but removed your name from the role call in Potions!" Hermione pulled the book from his grip and set it on the top of the pile next to him. "Listen, Harry, you need to stop this. You aren't sleeping, you aren't eating right, you've been skipping Quidditch practices. This isn't like you!"

"This isn't like me," Harry repeated slowly. "Well, then, fine. If Ron were as sick as Draco is, what would you do?"

Hermione planted her hands on the desk and glared at him. "I would realize that he's still alive, and I wouldn't have already consigned him to his grave."

Harry sputtered and stood up, shoving his chair back. "I haven't consigned him to his grave! What are you talking about? I'm here because he's still alive!"

Ron came up behind Hermione, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Then maybe you need to sort out your priorities, mate," he said. "Snape sent us over here to find you. Draco's collapsed again."

Harry slammed a fist down on the table in front of him, shoulders slumping in defeat. "No! No. There's not enough time! Never enough...time..."

"He's asking for you, Harry. Maybe you should think about going," Ron declared.

Harry shook his head stubbornly. "No. I can't. I can't go to him empty handed. I have to. I have to find something." He strode over to the Magical Maladies section of the library and picked a random book, tossing it to the side and picking up another, and another, flipping though the pages hopelessly. "Please let me find something," he whispered, clutching the book to his chest as he fell to his knees. "Please, let me find...anything..."

Hermione and Ron were fighting their own tears as they left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry ran a hand through his hair as he turned yet another page, blinking exhausted, bleary eyes to look at the guttering candle at his side. He carefully lit another long taper from its dying cousin and continued to read by the flickering light.

Although this particular disease has been studied for centuries due to its severe impact on several high ranking pureblood families, as of the publication date of this volume, no headway has been made toward creating a cure. There has been no documented case of the

Aeger Magicus in which the victim survived. Studies are being made...

Harry rested his head on the book, helpless tears clouding his vision. Who was he, anyway, to think he could find the cure for this all by himself? Draco was going to die, and there was nothing he could do about it. Another person he loved was paying the price. When would it ever stop? When he refused to love anymore? If he hadn't loved Draco, would Draco be playing Quidditch right now, instead of wasting away in the infirmary? A shadow fell over him, but he ignored it, too lost in his unhappiness to care.

"So this is where you've been hiding, my boy," Dumbledore said quietly, and Harry raised his head and nodded. "Although," Dumbledore admitted. "You haven't exactly been hiding."

"What am I going to do, Headmaster?" Harry asked, shoulders slumping in defeat. "I can't do anything. I've failed him."

"I believe, Harry, that you need to think about what you really want," Dumbledore said affectionately, the infamous twinkle dimming slightly in his eyes. "The question you should be asking yourself is: Do you want to increase the quantity of the time he has left, or the quality? And that is one decision no one but you yourself can make." Dumbledore stood up and patted Harry's shoulder.

Harry sat in the library for hours after Dumbledore left, lost in thought. He had wasted so much time. How could Draco ever forgive him..?

He thought of what Ron and Hermione had been trying to say to him and shook his head.

Mostly he just thought about Draco.

Harry made his way to the prefect bathrooms and gave the password that Ron had given to him in a moment of guilt, and took a quick bath. Draco would hex him if he came anywhere near him dirty.

Harry made his way into the infirmary silently, going to Draco's bedside. Everything seemed gaunt on Draco; the lines of his cheekbones were too pronounced, and his wrists looked painfully thin. Harry pulled off his shoes and crawled in beside Draco, curling his body protectively around the smaller boy.

"Mmmm, you're warm..." Draco murmured sleepily, reaching for Harry and pressing his face against Harry's throat.

"I didn't know you were awake," Harry said, stroking Draco's back.

"You make a lot of noise," came the muffled answer.

"I'm sorry," Harry apologized suddenly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me."

"You're here now, aren't you?" Draco asked. "It doesn't matter."

Harry shook his head carefully, trying not to dislodge Draco from his position. "I wasted so much time," Harry reached for Draco's hand, relieved when Draco clasped his hand eagerly. "I should have been with you all along."

"Yes, you should have," Draco agreed. "But that...wasn't only your fault."

"Do I hear Draco Malfoy taking some of the blame?" Harry teased gently.

"No," came the quick answer. They held each other silently, and then Draco shifted a little. "I really wish we had gone for the walk, though. You forgot I was there."

"I did. And I'm sorry. So sorry," Harry apologized again. He sat up suddenly, looking down at Draco. "How do you feel now?"

Draco looked at him, perplexed. "Tired. Weak. Cold."

Harry got out of the bed and put his shoes back on. "Can you walk?"

Draco's eyes were shining brightly, as though some of the moonlight through the window had been stolen by his eyes. "Harry--"

Harry grabbed a blanket and draped it across Draco's shoulders, lifting him up into his arms. "Put me down!" Draco demanded instantly, pushing Harry's shoulder. "I'm not some helpless damsel who needs to be carried!"

Harry grinned, setting him down and raising his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He kept a protective arm around Draco's shoulder, though, and didn't say a word when Draco leaned most of his weight against Harry as they began to walk. They made their way out of Hogwarts in slow, measured steps, punctuated by a small laughs as they talked about the days that they had missed together. Draco told him about how Pansy and Blaise had fought over feeding him chocolate, how Greg had given Draco his favorite stuffed frog, how his father had owled him with stilted regrets; recounting everything he could think of about what everyone had been doing while Harry had been locked away in the library. Harry told Draco about some interesting facts he'd come across in the obscure books he had picked up.

Everything was washed silver in the moonlight. He couldn't remember ever seeing Hogwarts this beautiful at night before. "The lake, Harry, look at the lake," Draco whispered in an awed voice, and Harry lost his breath. The moon was rising late that night, casting its wavering reflection over the dark waters. There was no hint of any of the creatures that the Hogwarts Lake had in its depths, and everything was still and quiet.

Draco took a deep breath, and Harry looked to see tears streaking down his cheeks. "I'm so glad you came back!" he exclaimed on a sob, his knees buckling as his fingers grasped at Harry's shirt. "I thought. I thought..."

"You thought what?" Harry asked, gripping Draco's elbow and helping him down to the ground.

"I thought you weren't going to let me say good bye," Draco shook his head and rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hand. "I thought I wasn't ever going to see you again."

Harry clutched Draco in a tight hug. "But I'm here now," he whispered in a raw voice. "That's the important thing, right?"

Draco wound his arms tightly around Harry's neck, and Harry tilted Draco's head, brushing his knuckles over his cheek. Their mouths moved together in a slow, deep kiss, and Harry could taste Draco's tears on his tongue. After a moment, Draco shivered violently, and Harry sighed, nudging him a bit. "I'd better get you back inside."

Draco nodded, but clenched his arms tighter when Harry tried to stand. "I can't. Get up on my own," he said, and without a word, Harry swept Draco up into his arms. Draco pressed his face against Harry's shoulder as Harry carried him back to the infirmary, and let go with a small sigh as he slid between the covers. He blinked in surprise as Harry laid on top of the covers, and tilted his head. "You're...staying?"

Harry nodded. "I'm going to be with you now, Draco. I promise, I'm not leaving your side."

"I love you, Harry," Draco stated simply.

"I love you," Harry answered, and Draco nodded, closing his eyes and curling up against Harry's side.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry was still there when the sun broke over the horizon the next morning.

Madam Pomfrey came bustling in briskly and thrust open the curtains to let the sunlight in. "I hope you're feeling--" she began as she turned to the bed, and froze before she could finish her sentence.

Tears traced down Harry's cheeks, but his eyes were calm as he held Draco tightly. Draco's face was peaceful. "Don't be too loud, Madam Pomfrey. He's--" Harry's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "He's only sleeping."