First Christmas

Picture: A sitting room, fairly large but not immense, covered in silver, green and red decorations. Candles, flowers, holly, ivy, a large fir tree.

Picture: A roaring log fire, warm mince pies and mulled wine, presents piled under the tree, candles lining the walls, snow falling softly outside.

Picture: Two men, curled tightly together, so close they seem to be one, lying on the large sofa in the centre of the room.

Picture: A hand softly stroking black hair and reaching round to caress a cheek.

*wince*

"Does it still hurt? How hard did I hit you?"

"It's alright really, honest... there's not even a mark..."

"Yes but you flinched! It's obviously hurting you... why won't you let me heal it?"

Flashback: An elbow, a face, a loud crack and a cry.

Further back: A ladder, decorations on the tree, a star for the top, a hand reaching up and a slip.

"Harry... you know it was an accident... I'd never hurt you on purpose... what's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter! Don't worry about me. I was just remembering..."

Picture: A confused look, questioning eyes, worry and care lining a face that once was smooth, cold as ice.

"Remembering? Anything special?"

"Our first Christmas"

"But this is our first Christmas... or at least our first one alone, here, in our very own flat..."

"No, I mean our FIRST Christmas... when..."

Flashback Five Years: A boy rapidly becoming a man, a dark hallway, hidden tears, a letter full of bad news.

Picture: Another person, a child, rushing, an air of ownership, body held proudly, ice blond hair.

Picture: A collision. Paper, robes, wands, arms, legs, bodies falling. Chaos.

Picture: Anger, hurt, lashing out.

"Look where you're going Potter, even with those useless glasses I'd have thought the wonderful Boy Who Lived would be less careless."

"Careful Malfoy, you don't know what I might do."

"Is that a threat Potter!?! What do you think YOU can do to ME? You haven't got the Weasel and the Mudblood to back you up now!"

"Don't call her that..."

Picture: A fight, no details, just images. A hand striking a face, a knee connecting with a back, kicks, punches, bites.

Picture: Pain, violence, blood.

Picture: Chaos, no control, darkness.

"Malfoy... Malfoy... wake up! It wasn't that hard was it... come on..."

Picture: A child lying on a stone floor in the arms of a boy, not quite a man, just leaving of childhood.

Picture: Bloodstains on the stones, tears flowing, fear, disappointment.

"Malfoy... Please wake up. Please I shouldn't have... I know you've changed... why do we still fight... why do you do that even now... we're on the same side... please wake up."

Feel: Despair, a second chance hanging in the balance, a desire...

"Draco...."

Picture: A beginning.

And Now: Green eyes filled with tears, a mirror in grey returning the look, hands clasped.

"What if... what if I'd really hurt you... killed you even..."

"Harry, shush love, it's alright..."

"No, it's not I could have destroyed us before we started and all because you were the only one who could get through the numbness..."

"It's alright, I understand..."

"I kept seeing the words of the letter swimming in front of my eyes, and whatever they said it didn't matter. Sirius was dead and no matter how much I loved Ron and Hermione they couldn't make me forget. They tried so hard to make Christmas special and all I wanted was to forget... and you let me... and I hurt you!"

Picture: An embrace, tears, love, protection, understanding, passion.

Picture: Two men who learnt to love through pain. Two children trying to understand a world where victory comes at such a cost.

"Draco I can never make up for what I did to you then... I deserve to feel pain..."

"NO! NEVER! Harry you may have hurt me then but I remember other days, when you saved me, when you saved us all. When you held me and kept me close. When we managed somehow to live through hell. When you never left my side though everyone doubted me. You've nothing left to pay love..."

Picture: A sitting room, fairly large but not immense, covered in silver, green and red decorations. Candles, flowers, holly, ivy, a large fir tree.

Picture: A roaring log fire, warm mince pies and mulled wine, presents piled under the tree, candles lining the walls, snow falling softly outside.

Picture: Two men, curled together so that they seem to be one, lying on the large sofa in the centre of the room.

Picture: The curtains slowly drawing as two men learn to face the future together and leave the past behind and two children learn a new way of celebrating Christmas, with joy not pain.