Hunting For The Sun

CHAPTER FORTY FIVE

I folded my arms around my body, trying to protect myself from the cold wind. The weather couldn't seem to choose between icy chill and muggy warmth; or maybe it was just me. As we stumbled back down the hill and under the trees, I lost all sensible sense of direction. I trotted miserably after Raven, thinking how much I needed a pee. It was really quite urgent. Just as I was about to call a halt to hop behind a bush, Raven said, 'Don't stop. We need to go faster to make it there long before sundown.'

I groaned, but there was nothing I could do. I closed my eyes and held on tight until we broke out of the icy shadows of the dappled trees. Neit and Raven paused, waiting for me to waddle my way out after them.

'What's wrong?' Raven asked, looking alarmed.

'I need a pee,' I squeaked.

'Hold it.'

'I'm at the point of no return,' I warned her, eyes wide.

She rolled her eyes.

'Oh Gods. Go piss in a bush. I'll try to gather them for the message.'

I ran off and relieved myself as Raven flicked back her hair and assumed her most upright and authoritative pose. Despite all the cuts and mud on her face, she never failed to look like a queen. Neit did the same. I could almost hear her muttering, 'You're a Lady, Lisette. A Lady.'

I zipped up and ran out after them, but I was a long way behind; I couldn't see where Raven had gone. I trotted through the city of tents, looking from side to side at the mismatched fighters dotted around the tent. No one was looking at me. I guess that to them I was just another armed girl from the inner city. To think that this was where I wanted to be, back when we started this tale. You remember. It was all that I wanted to do, and to me it seemed like that would be the climax of my life. I would probably die in the war, but all my friends could stand around and say 'I knew a girl who died for the cause', and loads of people would set up monuments for us all... But no one would remember my name. I'd be another wooden cross fixed together with a piece of shrapnel hammered in with the butt of a pistol, standing in a field as the dust cleared and all that was left was the blood. The grass would grow again, like it always does, and someone somewhere would think of us all when they had those silences, but I would be another faceless grave.

My hand snaked unconsciously up to my dragon charm. War was never what we were told it was. I've lived through two wars in my time, and there's no knowing how many more may come. I'm not yet ready to die. Did I feel like a coward? I don't know. I felt left out, but I still knew that what I was doing, whether or not it was right, had to be done. I felt the bile rise in my throat again, a bitter lump of distaste below my Adam's Apple. What would I say? What could I say to stop them?

I looked down another long avenue of plain tents with the Hogwarts crest rubbed out with charcoal from burnt sticks. I caught a glimpse of Raven's red and black hair swinging against her back and ran after them.

'Hey, hey,' I panted, catching them up.

Raven was talking to a tall witch with golden hair, dressed in functional-looking khaki clothes. 'Ah, Quenn. This is Rae.'

Quenn nodded solemnly to me. 'I certainly see that you might have a point.'

I frowned at Neit. Surely they wouldn't admit that we had a point if we were trying to make them stop?

'There are lots of people waiting for you,' Neit said simply.

I felt a nudge in my mind from Raven's direction and felt a flood of knowledge rush around my skull.

'The army at El Karem is big enough as it is. The Death Eaters are very well equipped. We have inside information to tell you,' I said, taking the thing under my wing. Raven shot me a smile.

'Should we talk to the whole army?' I asked.

Quenn frowned sincerely. 'I shouldn't think that will be necessary.'

A huge weight lifted off my heart. 'Can we talk now?'

Quenn looked around her. 'I'll call the other leaders to the pavilion.' She turned, squinting into the sunlight and shading her eyes. 'Adam! Can you take them to the pavilion?'

A young man with tousled black hair, tanned skin and brown eyes looked up from where he was polishing a broadsword.

'Yes ma'am,' he said, standing up and putting the sword down with a paternal care. He beckoned us over to him and started to weave his way through all the tents. The smell of rations, their tastelessness being fried away, filled the air. Voices, some grim, some light and slurring mingled to form an undulating curtain of sound. The air tasted like smoke and freshness as the sun, horizontal rays streaking gold like something tangible through the air, lanced into my eyes and warmed my skin. The grass crunched under my feet as it only does in spring. A few birds darted across the clearing late-afternoon sky. I took a deep breath of the cool, sunny air and smiled slightly. I couldn't help it as I felt the energy bubble up in my chest.

Adam wove along a steadily straighter path until we were walking down what seemed like a proper street with the neatly kept tents of the officials in uniform lines. Straight ahead, framed against the sunflower yellow sky on a small hillock was a marquee with snapping pennons, bearing the Hogwarts crest. One of the door curtains was rolled and held up to the side. Within was entirely dark, and I couldn't see anything. I squinted, shading my eyes with a hand. I realised when my hand slipped that my palms were sweating profusely. I dropped my arm and wiped my hands frantically on my trousers. I suddenly became extremely aware of everything around me: how the furry collar of my flying jacket brushed my jaw and neck; how the metal ankle-strap reinforcements of my boots pressed against the bones; how my dragon charm lay horizontal across the curve of my breast; how my belt was pulled tight around my hips because I was standing on the hems of my trousers.

How nervous I was.

Suddenly, every step was heavier. The metal straps around my ankles and the metal toe-caps of my boots dead weights on my trembling legs. The saliva gathering in my throat as I forgot to swallow became thick and tangy with nausea. A lump of shivering energy formed in the centre of my chest and the blood rushed in my ears.

Adam was there, talking minimally to someone wearing grey robes and a sober expression. He pointed to Raven, Neit and I, as we stood there looking fatigued and muddy. I stole a glance across at the other two. Neit's long, dark, silky hair was miraculously tidy, but her white skirt, boots and tank top had not fared so well. The two white leather belts crossing around her hips had managed to catch half the forest in their metal studs. It struck me that white was not a good colour to wear in this business. But then, I thought, considering that, Raven wears black all the time. It's just their colours. Raven looked fine, but she always did. Raven's tanned arms were wrapped around her chest, bringing the shadows above and below into sharp relief. The small hollow at the base of her throat between her collarbones seemed filled with the blackest shadow and her collarbones almost white. Maybe it was just me. I glanced up at her face and saw the fine bones of her jaw tighten, pulling a hollow into her cheeks.

'Are you coming?'

'What? Oh yeah, sorry.'

I shook my head slightly and walked up the last slope to the pavilion itself. Holding the curtain aside with a trembling hand, I stepped into the darkness.

I felt something like a very light, warm touch on my right cheek, running towards my jaw. I realised vaguely that some cut I had obtained had begun to bleed. My mouth hung open as I looked around at the leaders of this army.

'We had been expecting you,' an iron-bearded man in a dark red uniform told me, looking up over his clasped hands from the head of the table at the far end. 'Please. Sit down.'

With a sweep of a square hand, he indicated the head of the table nearest to us, and a chair either side of it. Shaking slightly, I sat down, feeling the blood on my face distinctly as it trickled down my jaw. I reached a hand up jerkily and wiped it away on my cuff.

'Private Cage' - he pointed to Adam - 'has already told us that Commander Quenn sent you. She thinks we should listen to what you have to say. I'm sure she'll be arriving soon.'

I nodded, realising that he was waiting for me to say something. My mouth was too dry to speak.

'Well.'

He glanced around at the other men and women around the table.

'What is your business here?'

'You need to stop,' I blurted, feeling that everything might tumble out - like my insides - unless I shut my mouth fast.

'And why should we do that? Go on. We won't interrupt.'

I felt a painful dislike of this man as he sat back, smirking in his chair.

'Because you don't know what you're doing. When Potter's birth and all that prophecy stuff came into effect, and imbalance was created. It was left until it sorted itself out, but the resistance of the two sides - Voldemort and those who stood against him - meant that it festered and grew. Now this happens a lot, but normally, there is simply a sullen resistance once one side or another has one. That's how it was for a while, but the War meant that everything had to be put on hold. The second prophecy was established during the first night of the war in case it didn't go the usual way. If it had, then the prophecy would have fizzled out. As it was, neither side was weakened enough for them to be forced to beat a retreat. Although the rebels lost, at this stage it could only go downhill into another war. The leaders had to be disposed of - or at least that was the first impression that the prophecy received. Potter was killed, but that failed to stop the Hogwarts rebels. It soon became clear that El Karem and Hogwarts were against each other too, so now this is a three-way war. Every side must be stopped. I don't know how to do that, except tell each side what will happen if you don't stop.

'The world will end. That's simple enough to understand for intelligent people like you, isn't it?'

I hadn't realised during this that I had stood up. I was leaning my hands intently on the edge of the table. The iron-bearded man was surveying me thoughtfully. I cleared my throat softly and went on to explain what I knew would happen and what I was trying to do. Just as the sun had swung around low like the shining tip of a sword for the rays to lance in through the tent flap, still open to the outside, I concluded my speech with what I wanted them to do.

'You need to stay here and await any further instructions from me. We don't know how the other sides are going to react, but it's likely that I will have to use anyone loyal to me to mount an attack on them and destroy them. I only hope that, if this is done under my instruction, it won't hurt too much.' I looked around at them. 'What do you say?'

They all looked at each other slowly and at me. A few muttered privately. During my speech, Quenn had come in and sat down to the left of the iron-beard guy.

'I, for one, will await your orders, Kelwaedd. I think that what you say must have merit. I have heard of the prophecies before. Everything you say and are matches them perfectly,' she announced.

Iron-beard coughed loudly in disbelief, turning to her with raised eyebrows and a hairy, square hand on the table.

'You mean to say that you think we should halt this entire mobilisation because some little girl says she's sent from above?'

There was a mumble of assent, but it was clear that the whole group did not agree with him. He realised this and looked around at them.

'So how many of you think we should just drop everything and wait for some kid to give us our marching orders?' he demanded incredulously.

A few hands were raised, and then more until about half of them had their hands in the air.

'I stand by what she says.'

I had this raging temptation in my shaking limbs to sink down into my chair, but my bones and muscles wouldn't comply.

'I'm certainly not going to sit around here!' said a young woman with dirty blonde hair and dark, tunnel-like eyes. 'I want some revenge!'

There was an angry rumble of agreement.

'Well that's that then, isn't it?' Quenn said darkly, rising to her feet. 'We are divided. How are we to retrieve our world as it sinks into disrepair when we can't even work together inside our force? How can we repair others?'

Several others stood up with her. The half left over leaped to their feet angrily behind Iron-beard.

'You have lost your mind!' he yelled.

'But you have lost your way,' she said calmly. 'There is a simple but unworthy solution: we will each keep our divisions here with us. You can march yours onto London, and when the Death Eaters and the El Karem rebels obliterate you, just remember what I told you. Even the El Karem rebels who decide to join us, along with those who don't, will attack you. See how you like that.'

She turned her back and led those who had stood up with her out of the tent. A couple of the other leaders now seemed to waver. One of them broke away, then two others followed.

'Cowards!' Iron-beard screamed. 'Filth! Scum!' He spat furiously on the ground, but I walked out. Raven and Neit cast painfully imperious glances down at him, as only those two could, and followed me.

The sun was setting pink and gold under the grey-blue clouds stretched paper-thin over the horizon, dropping like an egg yolk in slow motion down between the hills over the dark green-gold smudge that was Sherwood Forest. A sun-warmed breeze lifted the hair from around my face, cooling the nervous sweat on my neck and forehead until I was tingling with the chill. I opened my mouth and spread my arms wide. Maybe I only had half of them, but the half I currently had were right this moment gathering their forces and telling them how the land lay. Those who weren't with us would, as Quenn said, be obliterated by the superior might of the El Karem rebels and the Death Eaters.

El Karem. I could get them. I knew that. My father would hand them over immediately. He was always a suspicious man, and if I managed to get mother to talk to him, I'd be able to have them without even opening my own mouth. The Death Eaters, as I had said, I suspected would say 'bugger off'. I was ready for that. As long as I had El Karem under my wing, I could take on anything. Five million and more fully trained fighters at my command...

I didn't want to think that I might not get them. Right now, I didn't have enough brainpower to open up that path of thought. It could wait until morning.

I felt the ground tremble slightly beneath me and turned to see Quenn running up the hill.

'You three, I'd stay out of the way of the others. Thankfully, almost all of our divisions are gathered on the western side of the camp. Come with me and we'll find you somewhere to sleep before you move on in the morning. I take it you're going to the Wasteland now?'

'Yeah, we should be. We might have to spend a while in London first, and I don't know how we're going to get down there. Raven says we need to preserve our energy and do no magic if we can help it.'

'That's a harsh thing to have to do,' Quenn said thoughtfully.

'Well, I've only been able to use magic for about a year anyway, so it's not much of a loss to me.'

'Oh yes, that's right. You were an original Diagon Rebel, weren't you?' she said, her eyes glittering with awe. 'What was it like?'

'Cold, hungry and tiring,' I said shortly. 'We had to steal everything we ate from rapidly decreasing supplies. London's horrible. Have you ever been?'

I hadn't realised until then quite how much I had hated living in London. I guess only the good times had stuck in my mind before then.

'I went once, when I was little. I don't think I'm much older than you are. The war started when I was ten, and I lived far away before that. I couldn't get in afterwards.'

She still had that amazing awe in her voice. I was sickened.

'You didn't want to be there, trust me.'

She gave a small laugh.

'Adam wants to come with you,' she said, finally changing from that repelling track. 'Come and get some sleep. You can talk him out of it at breakfast tomorrow.'