Love's Not Time's Fool

"Ouch, Lily, that hurt," Hayley whined, rubbing her head where the pillow had hit.

"No it didn't. It's a pillow. If you don't get up now you are going to be late, because I for one, am not going to wait with you!" Hayley did as she was told reluctantly, grumbling all the way to the bathroom. "I'm still not sure how you get away with staying here overnight. In the common room, during the day, I can understand, but spending the night?" Lily continued.

"Yeah, well, I'm not too sure myself to be honest. They might not know I do." Lily snorted, "Or maybe they just turn a blind eye because I am such a wonderful student in every other aspect. It's not as though I'm changing house or anything; I like being a Ravenclaw. It might be because they prefer me stopping to wandering the corridors late on my own with all the trouble with the Slytherins and Death Eaters," Hayley shouted back over her shoulder on the way to the shower.

"Why are you so tired anyway?" Lily asked conversationally. " You're normally fine in a morning unless you go to bed after half twelve. So why were you up so late?" she asked, easily coming to a conclusion after knowing Hayley for so long.

"I was just up later than usual, that's all." Lily looked at her questioningly and Hayley carried on, whilst stepping into a shower cubicle. She explained through the door, "I was waiting for Remus. I have no idea where he went. I really needed to ask him something so I was waiting for him to get back from wherever he went, but I waited until gone one and even the Marauders don't stay out that late on a school night, so when they weren't back I started to worry. I mean, where could they have gone? What can there possibly be to do that late at night? Walk around outside in the moonlight until one o' clock? I think not. There is obviously something going on. Thinking about it, surely you know. James tells you everything, and I mean everything, so if there was something going on, you'd know. Come on Lil, you can tell me," she added persuasively, turning the shower off and emerging from the cubicle fully dressed.

"No, I can't. I promised I wouldn't say. It's completely up to Remus to tell you," she answered defiantly.

Hayley however, smirked. "So there is something going on, and you do know," she laughed, knowing she'd caught Lily out.

"Hayley, I'm not going to tell you. You're clever; work it out if you want. Or better yet, ask him yourself. If he trusts you, he'll tell you."

"Well, at least now I know. There's definitely something going on, you know, the Marauders know. It's about Remus, and if he trusts me, he'll tell me. In that case I'll just ask him. We've known each other for years now, how can he not trust me?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. She thought back anyway, in an attempt to work it out herself.

And then it hit her. She sat down slowly on the edge of her bed, trying to remain clam. She thought back to his disappearances, which occurred pretty much every month, the time in Defence Against the Dark Arts when his Boggart had changed into a small, glowing orb, the fact that he was ill so often. It all made sense now and she was surprised she hadn't worked it out sooner.

"Oh God," she breathed, "Poor Remus. Surely there's something we can do, something to make him better?"

"Hayley, you should know better than anyone that nothing can be done to cure werewolf bites." She pulled a sympathetic face and pulled her friend into a hug. She shook her head. "I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't have said a word."

It was at this point the anger set in. How could he keep such a thing from me, and for all these years? I thought he trusted me. How could he tell everyone else but me? And putting all that pressure on Lily and the others not to tell anyone. Then she understood Snape's snide comments to her, whispered in the corridors when no one was looking or listening. Even Snape knows, she thought with disgust.

Lily sat still and watched her friend in silence. She could see the hurt and turmoil in her eyes, and just for a second, wanted Remus to be here to see the pain he was causing, but thought better of it; he had already been through so much. Everyone had told him he should tell her before she found out herself, and now she had. Lily pulled Hayley up and dragged her towards the staircase. They couldn't miss lessons, but Lily was dreading the rest of the day. Things were going to be awkward.

***

"Remus, Hayley is going to want to know where you were. You can't keep lying to her. Sooner or later she is going to find out, and when she realises you've been lying to her she will not be happy," Sirius berated Remus once again. It was becoming a regular occurrence yet was not the normal way of things, but Sirius did not want Hayley to get hurt. He was always telling Remus that he should tell her the truth, but Remus always protested.

"That was the understatement of the year," muttered James. None of the Marauders liked lying to Hayley, they were all friends, and friends didn't lie, but it was up to Remus to tell her about his furry little problem.

"I've told you already, I'm not going to tell her. Everything is fine as it is. We get along so well, what's the point in upsetting her? If I tell her the truth, all it is going to do is hurt her." Remus sat down slowly on the edge of his bed. "I am not going to ruin things now. She might hate me for it."

"Remus," growled Sirius warningly. " You have known Hayley since the fourth year. If you still think she is capable of hating anyone, then you don't know her as well as you think you do. She would never hate you for being a werewolf, she might dislike you for lying to her, but she won't hate you, especially for something over which you have no control."

Remus put his head in his hands briefly, thinking, then stood up decisively. "No" was all he said, before heading to the staircase to meet Hayley for breakfast. The others just shook their head in disbelief that he could be so foolish, and followed him towards the staircase.

Remus stood waiting at the bottom of the staircase and watched Hayley walk slowly down the stairs. He could tell she was upset but he wasn't sure why. He didn't think she could have worked it out yet. He looked questioningly at Lily, who shook her head and carried on walking straight past him to greet James.

Hayley stopped by Remus and looked at him. He doesn't look any different, she thought, and then berated herself, of course he wouldn't look any different. Remus bent his head slightly to kiss her good morning, but she turned her head slightly so that he kissed her cheek instead. "Come on," she said quietly, "We're going to be late if we don't hurry."

Remus glanced at her quizzically but shrugged and walked with her out of the portrait hole, heading towards the Great Hall and breakfast. They were a little behind everyone else and so she took the opportunity to ask Remus where he had been the previous night. "Remus, where were you last night?"

Surely not, thought Remus, and decided he'd see if he could get away with lying a little while longer at least. It was for her own good. "I...err...I was at the library late last night, trying to finish my potions essay for this afternoon," he answered, already feeling guilty about lying. "Anyway, you know how there's a dance coming up, at Easter?" she nodded. "Well I was wondering if you'd like to go with me?"

She looked up at him. She couldn't believe he even dared to ask her that after lying to her. Or maybe it was to make up for it. Either way she was putting her foot down, this had to stop. She couldn't carry on, knowing he was lying to her.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Remus," she answered quietly. This was hard. He had no idea how much this was hurting her, just having to say this. "In fact, I think it would probably be best if we split up." She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. "I don't think this is working anymore." She took a deep breath and looked at his face to gauge his reaction. He was stunned, but didn't appear too troubled.

"Hayley, I..." he stuttered, too stunned even to speak, but she turned and walked quickly towards the Great Hall. She didn't want to hear more excuses, only the truth.

Remus was left there, alone in the corridor. The others would be eating breakfast by now. He leant against the wall and sank to the floor, his head in his hands. Somehow, he had ruined everything. He had distanced himself from the one person he had loved and who had loved him back, and now he had lost her. He didn't know whether she knew what he was, or whether it was something else, but either way he knew it was his fault she was upset, everything was always his fault somehow. He pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes, to stop unwanted tears. He should have known this would happen. What gave him the right to think that things would go well for a change? Who was he to think that he might actually have a happy future with someone he loved?

He made to stand up and was about to take a steady walk back to the Gryffindor tower before class to try and regain his composure when he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He looked up to see Sirius approaching and quickly tried to put on a brave face.

"Hey," Sirius said when he reached Remus, "what happened? Hayley came down to the great hall and went to sit at the Ravenclaw table. Alone. What did you do? And why are you still up here?"

"Actually Sirius, it was her. She said she didn't think it was working anymore and that she thought we should split up. She then stormed down the corridor without giving me a chance to explain," Remus retorted somewhat bitterly.

"Would you have?" Sirius questioned him.

"What do you mean?" Remus frowned, confused.

"Would you have explained to her that you are a werewolf, if she had given you the chance?" Sirius asked, growing angrier as he spoke.

"I ... well I ... No," he answered firmly, sure he was right in what he said.

"Remus, if you can't trust her, how can you expect her to want to be with you? If I had a girlfriend that was disappearing every month I know what I'd be thinking. Especially if they wouldn't even explain where they were," he said pointedly. He was determined to make Remus see the light. "What you have with Hayley is special, it's what James has with Lily, and I'd give anything to have it myself, yet here you are, throwing it away at the slightest complication. If you can't fight for her, you don't deserve her, because you know damn well that she'd do anything for you." And with that, he walked off back the way he'd come, leaving Remus feeling desolate and ever so slightly in the wrong.

"What have I done?" he asked himself sadly, and walked back to the Gryffindor tower where he would spend the rest of the night in his dormitory, not speaking to a sole.

Hayley spent the day fighting back tears, and trying to convince herself that she had made the right decision. She did not need someone who could not trust her. She had fallen in love with him; she could fall out of love with him, and with this in mind, spent the following weeks endeavouring to prove to herself that she no longer cared about Remus.

The two of them did not speak for weeks until it became necessary for the odd comment to float between them. It made meals and other such social times awkward and their friends were not looking forward to trying to convince them both to go to the dance, whether alone or not.

It was almost as though they had never known each other. The distance between them grew and neither knew the other as well as friends should. Only their friends knew how much it was hurting them. Hayley's tears and Remus' moods became regular events and both spent hours trying to convince others that they were fine, were moving on.

But love's not times fool nor alters when it alteration finds.