Let Him Fly

Let Him Fly

November, 2000

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

The tension between the two former lovers was unbearable. She looked down her nose at him and he sneered in reply. Both were snappish-more so than usual. Students began to wonder what was the connection between their two professors. To say the least, they were both visibly miserable for some reason or another.

But that wasn't the worst part. She loved him dearly and yet, he loathed her with a passion. She was simply a series of one-night stands in his book. Nothing more than a harlot, a scarlet woman, a whore. No, he loved another. She never expected to be capable of hurting this much without dying of heartache.

Severus Snape had always been a prickly man- a downright bastard, most of the time. But she thought she could turn him into something more than the farce of snarky potions master. She was sure there was more to him than what he gave his appearance to be. She was right-he was worse.

~Ain't no talking to this man~

He refused to speak to her at all now that he was engaged to his "true love". To see her pain from this was an antagonistic pleasure for Snape. His version of the cold shoulder was not only arctic to the extreme, but also more sadistic than she could have imagined possible. What's more, there was no sudden forgiveness, no "April Fools!" nothing to tell her that she was dreaming, nothing to give her ease of heart or comfort.

~Ain't no pretty other side

Ain't no way to Understand

Stupid Worked Up Pride~

Never would she let Severus- (when would she stop thinking of him as that?) know that his betrayal and sudden change of heart hurt her. Her Griffindor pride would never let her guard down. But the agony of being near him after watching him use and abuse her was worse than a thousand knives in her heart. She was supposed to be the smart one. The most brilliant witch of her age. Yet, she had been duped and blinded by her greasy colleague and former professor.

She found herself having crying fits at night, when she lie alone in her cold bed. Abandonment. That's what it was. He had abandoned her and left her broken. Like a spoiled child with an old toy.

Through it all though, she still loved him. He was her stars and moon. She had decided in her grief that she would have to let him have what he wanted, because despite all the pain he caused her, she wanted him to be happy. After many failed attempts to get him to go back to her, she decided she would do the unexpected thing and let go.

~It would take an acrobat

And I already tried all that.

I'm gonna let him fly~

She had gone to his lab to tell him he could be with his new beloved, but she hadn't gotten to her first sentence when he had gone into a rage at her for entering his domain. With the mercy of a hell-bent devil, he came down upon her with words, scoldings, insults ad obscenities that left her feeling as if she'd been gutted.

Harry, Ron and others watched her with pity in their eyes, and told her she was unbound now. They told her that she had the freedom to do whatever she wanted with whomever she liked. It was a bittersweet feeling. While Severus had kept her from exploring more, she'd much rather be restricted unbearably than to have freedom without him in her life beside her. The choices that were once an unreachable luxury were meaningless now. And yet, she still painstakingly worshipped him with all her broken heart and soul.

~There's no mercy in loud words

No rest at all in freedom

The choices we are given is

No choice at all~

~But you must always know how long to stay

And when to go~

Hermione finally decided it was time to let him know he was free. But she couldn't so much as tell him so. He would probably sooner feed her to the giant squid than talk to her, or read any letters from her. Severus had even gone so far as to tell her this. All so that he could be in peace with is other love, Narcissa. He claimed that now Lucius was dead, he could finally take Narcissa for his own, and love in peace. These words alone burned the loving core that had been embedded in Hermione's heart.

~Ain't no taking to this man

He's been trying to tell me so

It took a while to understand

The beauty of just letting go

It would take an acrobat

And I already tried all that~

Hermione's dilemma was easily solved in her mind. But, for a bright girl, she could be profoundly stupid sometimes. Why hadn't she thought of this before?

Now she knew how to get through to Severus. She knew now how to finally tell him that her love for him went beyond all bounds. She could now tell him that she truly wanted him to be happy. The answer was so simple!

Hermione prepared herself for her deed of undying love. She gathered her things to one spot, and wrote a note to Harry and Ron, and a note to Severus. She then took a last look around and sighed.

Later that night she took a deep breath and looked back at the castle from the cliff it resided on. The home she'd known for 7 years at school, and two years as a professor, was filled with good memories, painful ones, and passionate ones.

She gave a weak smile and turned away. Standing on the edge of the cliff, looking at the horizon, she jumped and fell to her death with a smile on her face and a name on her lips. "Severus"

~I'm gonna let him fly~