Petit Loup

Sirius was standing nervously at his lover's doorstep, a trunk standing at his side and their four year-old son in his arms. It was always the same nervousness that crept through him, whenever he brought their son to stay with his husband. Husband, that word felt so strange in his mind. Remus and he hadn't shared a flat for a year now, only because they had let that mistrust come between them. Only because nobody would have thought that Peter was the traitor, the spy in the Order and instead had blamed the other. Remus had moved out after a harsh fight a year ago, not being able to take their son with him as the ministry had given Sirius the main custody. And now, here he was, like every other weekend during the last few months, when Sirius would come over to stay at Remus's so that he would get a chance to see their son.

He rang the bell once, holding Damon closer to him, wondering sadly if Remus would ever give him another chance. It wasn't like they weren't talking to each other, but it were merely strained conversations and Remus would avoid Sirius as much as possible. He, of course, could understand Remus's actions; after all it had been him who had shouted at Remus, calling him a monster and other horrible things in rage. Still he wanted another chance and he would wait until Remus was willing to give it.

"Papa!" his son's voice pulled him from his reverie and he noticed that Remus had opened the front door smiling weakly, letting Sirius worry deep down if something was wrong. However, Sirius just smiled in return, letting the struggling boy down to the ground who immediately went over to Remus, wanting to be picked up by the other man.

"Mon petit loup," whispered Remus affectionately holding the small boy in his arms signalizing for Sirius to follow him inside, as Remus left for the living room.

Sirius entered the apartment quietly, closing the door behind him and putting down the trunk near the guestroom where he would be staying in. He pulled off his cloak, revealing a pair of black jeans and a blue shirt, a black tie still hanging loosely around his neck, which he had forgotten to take off earlier on from work. After pulling of his shoes he followed Remus and Damon inside the living room, sitting down on the vacant armchair watching the two interact contently.

Remus was sitting on the couch with Damon on his lap, his eyes sparkling with joy while Damon was mumbling along telling of what he had done during the week. What worried Sirius was the nearly white skin Remus had gotten and the red circles around those sparkling amber eyes. He would remind himself, to ask Remus later if there was any trouble, not wanting to mention the subject now in this peaceful moment.

At the end he didn't ask Remus of what was wrong that night and found himself later on that night, lying in bed wide awake and staring up to the wall, with his arms crossed under his head. He hated this tension between them; he hated spending nights without sleep because his bed seemed much too big for him alone. Then there were the nights when he would sit at Damon's bed, trying to get the little boy to sleep. It were those nights when the boy didn't understand why his dad and papa didn't live together, and why he could only see his papa on the weekends. It were those nights Sirius spend in the study or in his bed awake, not being able to fall back to a dreamless sleep, not being able to forget how lonely he felt.

Somehow determined he sat up in bed, running a hand through his sleep-tussled hair and slowly climbing out of bed, only wearing a pair of boxers and a thin t-shirt in this somehow chilly night. He shivered slightly as he was standing in the hall, looking around a little through the dark and silent apartment.

Before he went to fulfil his plan, he went to the living room where Damon's bed had been put up for the weekend. He smiled in relief, as he saw the black haired boy fast asleep, cuddling tightly his teddy which he had got closely after his birth from both of his fathers.

Remus.

He wrapped his son once more tightly under the covers and then went to Remus's bedroom, somehow cautious and very nervous what he was going to await there.

What he didn't expect were the sobbing sounds he heard as soon as he he pushed the door a little open to peer inside. He stayed standing in the doorway for some seconds, which felt like hours, watching Remus's trembling body in the dark, the worry inside of him increasing for his ex-lover. What a word. It had cut a deep gash in to Sirius's heart, something that he hoped to be healed again.

He was scared to enter at first, but then he took a deep breath and walked slowly in to the room, closing the door behind him. He walked silently over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it, flinching inwardly as he saw Remus curl up even more, turning his back towards Sirius.

He thought of leaving again, but in some way he knew if he would recoil now, he would loose his last chance to ever get closer to Remus then just being his friend. He stretched his hand out; he didn't notice how much it was shaking in anticipation and worry, as he finally touched the covers, putting a little pressure down on the body under the covers with his hands.

"Remus?" He receivedno answer, only another choked sob. He sighed. 'At least he didn't shout at me, and told me to go away again,' he thought to himself, content that he had at least achieved a little bit. Feeling somehow encouraged he went to move to lie down on the bed, still on top of the covers, mind you, moving to touch Remus's hair softly.

He kept doing that for several minutes smiling as he heard the other man quiet down and slowly relax under his touch. He closed his eyes momentarily feeling happiness and tiredness overflow him, pulling him into deep slumber with a small but warm smile playing on his face, happy to having found his way back home.

As he woke up the next morning, he could feel that something had changed and he was also pretty sure that he had been lying on top of the covers when he had fallen asleep. He opened his eyes slowly, bewildered as he looked straight at Remus's smiling face. He noticed then the loose arm that was lying around his hip but still holding him in a secure kind of way, so that if he had wanted he couldn't have gotten away. He didn't really know what to say to all of this, he couldn't have explain how happy he felt at that moment with words and only the tears that were quietly going down his cheeks could really show how he felt. He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath as he felt those soft lips upon his cheeks, kissing away his fallen tears, not daring to open his eyes afterwards wondering if this was all a dream. At the end he did dare to open his eyes.

"Remus..." he was silenced with two fingers on his lips as he wanted to apologize, to tell him how much he still loved him and so much more. He was delighted to feel, that this simple gesture could still send shivers down his spine, letting a comfortable warmth spread through his body.

"You don't need to say anything," Remus whispered softly, his voice gentle and loving, his brown hair tussled up from sleep and his eyes shining with so much love, love that Sirius hadn't seen in the last year. Sirius could feel the barriers that had formed between them were crumbling down again, the closeness of comfort and love was returning and he understood why Remus had said that no words were needed, because their body language already was saying enough.

That was when both of their lips met again after a year of separation. At first it was a tentative kiss, too scared that everything could break again, but it soon turned into a more passionate kiss leaving them both wanting for more. Sirius found himself quickly over Remus, straddling the werewolf's hips, both naked and both very much aroused. He kissed his way down Remus's throat, along his chest and towards his crotch, leaving bites and licks on his path. He continued his ministrations, letting passion lead his path finding himself quickly burrowed inside of Remus, filling him earnestly after some precious moments of love.

As normalcy slowly came back, Sirius found himself holding Remus in his arms both dozing contently as the first sun beams reached the bedroom, filling it with a warm feeling of love and satisfaction. As just the both thought they'd be able to catch some more needing sleep, a sudden new weight on their bed pulled both of them out of their slumber.

"Papa?" Remus opened his eyes at his their son's voice, smiling at him somehow sleepily and lifting the blanket for him to come and crawl under it next to him. Damon just did that, cuddling as close to Remus as possible, giving another small yawn as Sirius ruffled affectionately through Damon's hair from behind Remus.

"Together?" the little boy asked, looking hopefully at his father as he forced his tired eyelids to stay open.

"Oui, mon petit loup, oui," Remus answered softly, kissing Damon gently on the forehead, before all the three of them fell in their long needed sleep of comfort and love, but most of all, of being once again a family.