Maybe

Maybe

Spring, 1999

"I hate you," Draco said, eyes narrowing at Blaise. Blaise merely shrugged, eyes staring intensely at Draco and unnerving the blond in front of him.

"Dear dear Draco, why ever would you say that?" Blaise asked, a smirk playing about his lips. The wind blew about them as they stood in the garden, tousling black and blond hair alike.

"You understand why," Draco replied.

Blaise sneered. "I'm afraid I don't, mon cher."

"You cannot do this to me. You will not."

"Why can I not? Who are you to order me around, the same way you order the others around?"

Draco stepped up to Blaise, fingers helplessly clawing at Blaise's robes and lips almost but not quite against the other's. "Damn you, Zabini, damn you," he whispered, eyes cold, hard, and narrowed.

Blaise merely responded with a searing kiss that left Draco gasping and staring up at Blaise with wide eyes, like a fallen angel deprived of his innocence. "Draco, it will never be your choice," Blaise replied, lips trailing across Draco's cheek.

"Don't you dare," Draco whispered harshly. Blaise merely took Draco's hand in his own and raised it to his lips. "Stop...Stop it!" Draco said, almost shrieking in his panic.

"You will never say it, and I will never say it, but we both know it," Blaise responded evenly.

"Blaise--"

"Shh..." Blaise's lips brushed past Draco's cheek in the lightest of kisses before he disappeared into the golden sunlight.

***

Winter, 1996

"I hate you," Draco whispered breathlessly as Blaise unbuttoned his shirt, hands trailing fire over his skin at the slightest of brushes.

"Dear dear Draco, why ever would you say that?" Blaise asked, mouth setting to work upon Draco's chest and earning him a moan. Draco's hands tangled in his hair, pressing him tighter to the blond's skin.

"You understand why," Draco managed to gasp out as Blaise threatened to overwhelm him with a deluge of pleasure.

Blaise pulled himself away from Draco and straightened up, looking at the blond, who had his eyes closed and was breathing heavily. "I'm afraid I don't, mon cher."

Draco opened his eyes and stared into Blaise's blue irises that threatened to drown him in their intensity. "You cannot do this to me. You will not."

Blaise pressed his own bare chest against Draco's and whispered hotly into Draco's ear, "Why can I not? Who are you to order me around, the same way you order the others around?" He proceeded to nibble on the other's earlobe.

"Damn you, Zabini, damn you," Draco whispered back, unable to respond with a repartee.

Blaise pulled back and cupped his lover's cheek in a gesture that would have been seen as tender had his grip not been cold and hard. "Draco, it will never be your choice," he whispered, pressing his lips against Draco's forehead.

"Don't you dare," Draco whispered with a trace of panic in his voice. Blaise merely responded by kissing Draco harshly, biting and nibbling and sucking and bleeding him. Draco whimpered, and Blaise removed his lips only to trail them down Draco's chest and, opening Draco's trousers with his long fingers, engulfed the blond's hardness in slick heat.

"Stop...Stop it!" Draco said brokenly and desperately. Blaise heeded Draco by stopping his assault on Draco's erection and freeing his own, fingers preparing the smaller boy.

"You will never say it, and I will never say it, but we both know it," Blaise murmured as he entered Draco, and his hand closed over Draco's throbbing arousal, massaging the organ.

After he came, Draco turned back to look at Blaise. "Blaise--"

"Shh..." Blaise whispered soothingly, pulling out of Draco and brushing sweat off the blond's face with his clean hand.

***

Autumn, 2003

"I hate you," Draco spits venomously.

"Dear dear Draco, why ever would you say that?" Blaise asks, hand reaching out to cup Draco's cheek and eyes tinged with a hint of regret.

"You understand why," Draco hisses, swatting Blaise's hand away.

"I'm afraid I don't, mon cher," Blaise replies, though he knows all too well the exact reason for Draco's behavior.

"You cannot do this to me. You will not," Draco utters angrily, staring at Blaise with fire burning in his eyes.

"Why can I not? Who are you to order me around, the same way you order the others around?" Blaise counters, and he strides forward and engulfs Draco's mouth with a kiss that has almost become foreign to them, a kiss that has almost become a hallucination within their memories.

"Damn you, Zabini, damn you," Draco croaks when Blaise draws away, and he stares at Blaise with eyes that hold conflicting emotions, need, want, love, hate, rage, regret, sadness.

"Draco, it will never be your choice," Blaise whispers softly.

"Don't you dare," Draco says, scared to have Blaise come any closer and confirm to him, confirm to both of them, that nothing ever changed, that they still need each other. Blaise ignores Draco's warning and holds Draco's face in his hands. "Stop...Stop it!" Draco stammers in a last half-hearted attempt to shoo Blaise away from his lonely life.

"You will never say it, and I will never say it, but we both know it," Blaise murmurs quietly, eyes hooded.

"Blaise--" Draco cries, giving in to the tumult of emotions within him.

"Shh..." Blaise whispers as he wraps his lost love in an embrace that speaks everything that they would never speak.