Bitter

Bitter

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."

--Stendhal

The night is black, a faint black like the black man uses to color his appliances. The stars do their best to turn the black into a deep purple, but all they do is make the black look darker than it truly is.

Harry follows Draco out into the snow, taking care to not crunch the soft snow beneath his heavy boots. The starlight illuminates the snow and Draco's pale hair, and if Draco looks back, he could see Harry's footprints. But Draco doesn't look back.

The air is chilly, enough to freeze bones and render muscles useless. But Draco trudges on, wearing only a werewolf pelt robe over his dressing robe. Harry follows, wearing a warm cloak over sweaters and layers of trousers, and he desperately wants to cover Draco in warm clothes, but he knows that he can't let Draco know that he is there.

Draco meets a dark figure by the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The moonlight shines mercilessly upon them as Draco is ravished bloody before he is left naked and bleeding in the snow.

Harry hurries up to Draco, whose consciousness has long since slipped away. He wraps Draco in his cloak before carrying the Slytherin into the castle. Behind them, Blaise Zabini scowls, blood still fresh on his lips.

Harry takes Draco into a hidden room on the third floor, and he washes Draco clean. He knows that Blaise knows, and he knows that Blaise takes Draco back to the Slytherin dorms after he leaves.

After wrapping Draco in a blanket, Harry sits by the bed, watching Draco sleep. The blonde looks angelic in his sleep, like a pure child, and sometimes, Harry vainly wishes that he is.

Harry doesn't stay too long this time, Draco just wakes hours earlier this time, and before Harry can react, Draco's bold grey eyes are staring into his.

"I know you do this every time, Potter. Why?" Draco asks.

Harry falters. "Draco...Don't do this to yourself. He's killing you."

A bitter grin appears on Draco's face. "You think that I do not know this Potter? I just don't care."

"How can you not?" Harry asks naively.

"Because I love him, Potter." Seeing Harry open his mouth, Draco continues on. "He loves me back, Potter, too."

"But he's killing you!" Harry cries, not really understanding.

Draco sneers. "I don't care, Potter. We have our reasons."

"I love you, Draco," Harry blurts out.

"Then you will stop pestering me about Blaise," Draco replies firmly, and Harry leaves.

The next day, Draco is at his usual seat by Zabini in Potions, and Harry sits by Ron, his eyes constantly wandering to Draco. Halfway through Potions, Draco collapses, and Snape tells Zabini to take the xanthochroid to the Hospital Wing.

Harry tells Snape that he needs to use the restroom, and he doesn't care that he loses twenty points from Gryffindor. When Harry walks out of the classroom, he hears low voices in a nearby hallway, and he peeks around the corner.

Draco is sitting on the cold stone floor, back against a wall, and Zabini sits beside him, holding his hand and whispering in a low voice. As Harry watches, Draco's eyes flutter more and more, and when Zabini leans in to kiss, not plunder, Draco, Draco's eyes open completely, and he holds Zabini's face and kisses him back.

Zabini's sharp eyes train on the corner Harry is hiding behind, and Harry quickly withdraws his head, but he is not fast enough.

"Whoever is there, come out, or I shall make you regret it," Zabini announces, and Harry reluctantly leaves his shelter.

Zabini sneers when he sees Harry. "Spying on us again, Potter? As if you don't do enough of it at night."

"What do you do to Draco?" Harry asks, ignoring Zabini's remark.

Draco speaks up. "Blaise has special needs, Potter."

"And I have been too greedy these past few weeks. I should have been slower, less needy, like I usually am. But it's getting close to..."

"I don't care, Blaise. I know that you would revive me if the strain is too much." Draco turns to look at Harry again. "Goodbye, Potter. Thank you for your service."

Several years later, when a man offers him a chance to learn the truth of Zabini and Draco, Harry unhesitatingly accepts and binds his life to Tom Riddle. He doesn't regret his choice.

~~~

For Ali-chan

Happy Birthday. You're a really great person, you know that?