A Fine Line

Warnings: H/D Slash, substance abuse

Disclaimer: These aren't my characters, but they feel like friends. JKR owns them, I just love them.

Chapter Seven

Harry had become hysterical upon arriving at St. Mungo's and Parvati had insisted that they remain there in the staff lounge, rather than going to the waiting area. "There are other families there, and you don't need to be on display, Harry." She brought tea and a sobering potion for Harry, which she had insisted he take right away. "Healer will be in to see you. She has some questions for you. Helen Jones is on duty tonight, you know her, right?" He nodded, sitting on the bench in the corner by the lockers, hugging his knees.

Healer Jones knocked briefly at the door, and then put her head inside. "May I?" She entered the room, wearing familiar blue healer's robes, and carrying a clipboard and quill. "Harry, how lovely to see you, dear. Wish it were under better circumstances, of course." Harry nodded, and stood to take her proffered hand. "I need to ask you some questions about Draco, just so we can care for him appropriately. He's in A&E just now. Draco was drinking tonight, correct?" Harry nodded. "Can you tell me approximately how much?"

"Yes, we had three bottles of wine, from about noon until just about a half hour ago."

"That's a fair bit, then, in six or so hours. About evenly between you?"

Harry shook his head, glumly. "He probably had more than I did."

"Do you know how much cocaine he ingested?"

Harry shook his head, then replied, "I saw one line, I guess you would call it, on the mirror he was holding. He took that when I saw him, but then there was powder on the vanity, some on his face and hands. I don't know how much more he used."

"Any other medications, potions, or illegal drugs that he took?" Healer Jones made a few notes on her parchment and looked up at Harry.

"There was some pain medication, left over from the...when I hurt my knee. I'm not sure how many pills were left. Nothing else that I'm aware of." Hermione handed him the bottle, and he gave it to Helen, then stood twisting his hands together nervously, feeling sick to his stomach. "Is he going to...be okay?"

The young healer placed her hand on Harry's clenched ones. "I'm going to do my best to make sure of that very thing, Harry. If you think of anything else you think I should know, just tell Parvati, she knows where to find me." Harry nodded again, and moved to lean his forehead on the wall, his hands in fists at his sides. "He's strong, Harry, and you got help for him quickly, but I won't lie to you. Alcohol and cocaine are a very bad combination, and with pain medication, well...we'll do our best." She touched his arm gently.

"I know," he replied, miserably. "Thank you, ma'am... Helen. I appreciate what you're doing."

Harry sighed, and pressed his length against the stone wall, his mind a blank as Healer Jones left the room. "Fuck!" he screamed, and struck the wall with his fist, using all the strength he could muster. The pain was blinding, and he crumbled against the wall again, his hands splayed flat, his forehead pressed on the cold stone. What now? How can this possibly get worse?

Hermione came to his side, and looked concernedly at his hand. "Harry James Potter, you need to get a grip on yourself this instant. You aren't helping Draco or yourself in the least by behaving this way." She flicked her wand at Harry's hand, and the pain eased, then she told him firmly, "Go in and wash your face. Harry?" Her fingers were under his chin, turning him to face her. "Come on, you'll feel better." She pushed him firmly into the staff restroom and shut the door behind him.

He moved to the sinks and looked at his reflection. You look like hell. His hair was tangled and loose from its tie, his eyes were red and swollen, ringed with tear-smeared kohl. His shirt was splattered with blood from Draco's nosebleed, and he had splinters of broken glass on his sleeve from lying on the floor. Real sexy, Potter, he thought, loosening his tie and pulling it over his head. He got a towel and flannel from the shelf by the showers, and came back to the sink to wash his face. The water was cool and soothing to his puffy eyelids as he removed the eyeliner. After he had splashed his face several times he soaked the flannel again in the cold water, and washed his scraped knuckles.

A soft knock came at the door, and he opened it to see Hermione, standing there with a brush and his toothbrush and toothpaste. She shrugged, and stuck her wand in her hip pocket. "I hope you don't mind, Harry. I opened your locker. I thought you might want these." She held them out to him, along with a clean uniform top from his locker.

"Thanks," he mumbled, avoiding her searching eyes. "I'll be out in a minute, okay?" She nodded, and pulled the door closed again. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, and dropped it to the floor on top of his tie. He used the flannel to wipe the back of his neck, and his chest where he could see specks of... what? Cocaine? Broken glass? He pulled the scrub top over his head, returned to the sink and, leaning wearily on the counter with his free hand, brushed his teeth. He spit and rinsed, and rinsed the bristles. He looked for a long moment at the yellow brush; how can something so simple be so comforting? He tucked it into his scrub pocket, patting it. He dragged the brush through his hair, surveying his reflection again. Better, I guess.

"Keep your chin up, dearie," the mirror encouraged. He nodded and smiled wryly at it.

"Thanks."

.&.

Harry stepped out of the washroom and put his things away in his locker, then sat down at the table, next to the mug of tea Hermione had fixed. He wrapped his hands around it but did not pick it up. He felt that horrible prickling sensation behind his eyelids again, and squeezed them shut, knowing he was going to cry and knowing there was nothing he could do about it. Draco, how could you do this...to yourself...to me? He pushed the tea away and put his head down on his folded arms. He felt Hermione sit down beside him, and place her arm around his shoulders. He felt the lump in his throat return, and shook his head desperately, No, damn it, I am so NOT going to cry any more, but there was no stopping the hot tears. Hermione laid her cheek against his hair, wrapping her arms tightly around him, and held him.

"It's okay, love. Just let it go...let it go. You have been so strong, let it go." She continued to hold him, stroking his hair, and not loosening her comforting grip on him until his shaking had subsided. She rubbed his back softly, and stroked back the strands of hair that had fallen into his face. She pressed her handkerchief into his hand and he wiped his face, then blew his nose, avoiding her gaze.

"Thanks." He buried his face in his hands, leaning on the polished table. "I've never cried so much in my life as I have in the last week." She put her arm around his shoulders, and leaned into him. "Thank you for being here, Hermione. I couldn't do this alone."

She opened her mouth to respond just as the door to the staff room opened and Harry looked up quickly, expecting Healer Jones. "Severus." He stood and stepped over to him. Severus pulled him quickly close, and hugged him briefly. Harry noted that Snape's eyes were reddened as well. "Have you seen Draco?"

"Not yet, I've been with the potions master, he's an old friend. He's brewing some potions for Draco. Healer Jones asked me to bring you to the ward, though. I think you can see him now."

Harry leaped to his feet, and headed for the door, with Severus on his heels. They arrived at Draco's room a moment later, and Harry stopped in the doorway. "Is he really okay?"

Severus nodded. "I don't think he's awake, but he will be fine, the Healers say. Go on, Potter." He nudged Harry who edged toward the bed.

Draco lay on the bed like a shadow, his pale face and pale hair blending with the pale linens, until he seemed nearly transparent. "Oh, Draco..." Harry whispered, moving to kneel at the bedside, taking his hand into his own and kissing the fingers.

Parvati came up behind Harry and sat in the chair by the bed. She touched him gently on the shoulder, and said, "I know this looks like a lot, but he's doing okay, Harry. We're giving him fluids by the IV; his liver and kidneys could have been affected by the combination of alcohol and cocaine so we're trying to prevent damage. He's been given some potions to counteract the pain pills. He must have taken several of them, probably about two hours ago, at least that's what it seems by the evidence that was in his stomach. That's partially why his reaction to the cocaine was so severe, he had so much other stuff on board. The tube in his nose we used to suction as much of the alcohol and medication from his stomach as we could, to prevent any more from being absorbed. Healer Jones asked for it to be left in case we need to administer any more potions before he is able to swallow. He had a breathing tube in A&E but he's breathing fine on his own now. When he wakes up he will probably have a sore throat though, and be very hoarse."

"He hates needles, and tubes," Harry said. "You'll have to take them out as soon as you can, or he'll freak."

"We will, Harry. We don't want to cause him distress more than need be." Parvati moved to the IV and checked the flow, and then wrapped a strip of gauze lightly around Draco's wrist. "This way he won't be able to see the needle," she said, kindly. "Maybe he won't be too upset, and as soon as Healer says it's okay, I'll give him something to calm him."

"Thanks, Parvati." Harry looked up at her, then laid his head back down by Draco's hand, holding it loosely in his own. He folded his legs under him on the floor, leaning against the bed, and thought, Draco...I love you. Don't you dare leave me...

.&.

"Harry...Harry, wake up." Harry opened his eyes and saw Hermione's blurred outline next to him. "Draco's awake, Harry. I knew you wanted to know right away."

He nodded, and sat up in bed. "Where am I?"

Hermione handed him his glasses. She looked exhausted, the dark circles under her eyes stood out in her pale face. She was still wearing the same jeans and blouse from the night before, and she had tied her long bushy hair into a loose knot at the nape of her neck; some had escaped and waved about her shoulders. "In the empty ward, next to Draco's. You fell asleep at his bedside last night sitting on the floor, and Severus carried you in here. Even after the sobering potion you took, you didn't open your eyes when he moved you."

He swung his feet over the edge of the bed and rubbed his forehead, burying his face in his hands. "What a nightmare. I can't believe this. I mean, who would have believed that Draco Malfoy would do anything as stupid as using drugs?" He swiped fiercely at the tear that dared to run down his cheek. "He must have taken my meds before he showered or anything, for them to have taken effect like that. Why didn't I throw them away? I haven't taken any for over a year."

"It's going to be okay, Harry," Hermione assured him. "You can't blame yourself." She passed him a small vial of headache potion and a glass of water, which he took gratefully. "Draco is strong, and with you to support him, he can do this. He didn't sleep well, he was restless, and seemed to have nightmares. He didn't wake though. Just don't expect him to be on his best behavior right now." She moved to take the empty glass and vial from him, and yawned widely.

"How do you...were you up all night with him?"

She smiled tiredly at him, and put her hand gently on his face. "Harry, you're my best friend, but I do have a relationship with Draco as well. After Ron was...well, after he died, Draco was my only support; he was there for me when you were unconscious for so long. Did you think I could let you or him go through this alone? I stayed with Draco. I didn't want him to wake up and be alone and afraid."

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he stood up and hugged her. He buried his face in her loose hair, and felt her arms tightening around him. His throat felt tight, and he swallowed against the lump, but couldn't help himself, and leaned against her and sobbed again. "Shhh...it's going to be okay," she murmured soothingly, stroking her hand in his hair. "It will be okay..."

.&.

The pale figure on the bed was so still that Harry paused in the doorway, watching for the rise and fall of his chest. Draco's left hand was curled into a fist on the blanket, his silver ring gleaming in the faint lamplight. The tube remained in place, taped on his nose and then to his pale cheek, with the end pinned to the shoulder of his gown. An IV dripped steadily through thin tubing, the end disappearing under thick white bandages. Parvati was adjusting the flow, and when she saw Harry, she smiled. "I'll leave you alone. Call if you need me." Harry nodded, not taking his eyes off the bed.

"Draco?" he whispered, uncertainly, taking a step toward the bedside. Draco's hand tightened on the covers, and he turned his face further away from Harry. "Please, look at me," he said, as he walked forward and sat down in the chair at the bedside. "Draco? I know you're awake."

Draco took a deep sighing breath, and turned toward Harry. His face was so very pale against the whiteness of the linen. "Where am I?" His voice was soft and hoarse, and he swallowed, grimacing.

Harry took the small cup from the bedside table, and offered Draco a sip of water through the straw. "Parvati said the breathing tube you had would make your throat sore. Take a drink of this." He closed his eyes briefly, then said, "You're at St. Mungo's. Hermione and Severus came as soon as I called them for help. Severus apparated you here." He shifted in his chair, putting the cup back on the table. "I didn't know what else to do. You weren't responding to me, and you were bleeding. I think you were having a seizure, your muscles were all clenched and you were grinding your teeth." He looked at Draco. "I was so scared," he whispered. He wiped his eyes fiercely, then nearly shouted, "You could have died, taking my pain pills, and then cocaine after all the wine we had drunk. You could have fucking died, Draco!" He buried his head in his hands, trembling at the thought of how close Draco had come.

Draco closed his eyes and lay back on the pillow, his hands over his face. His voice was raspy. He reached out his hand and touched Harry's hair. "I've been taking your leftover pain pills for a while now," he admitted. "They helped me sleep at first, then I just wanted the feeling. I don't know how I screwed this up so badly...I never meant for this to happen again."

"You told me before that you wanted to stop, and I want to believe you. I'm just not sure if I can." He looked up at Draco, his green eyes dark and ringed with red. "When you get out of here, you can't go back to work. I don't know if you'll even have a job." He ignored the look on Draco's face. "Severus is at our house right now, with someone from the Ministry, scouring every inch of the place for drugs. I can't believe I'm saying this...can't believe you've done this to us."

"I can't leave my job, in the middle of this case..." Draco protested.

Harry raised his eyebrows in amazement, then sat back folding his arms across his chest. "Did you hear me, Draco? The Ministry is searching our house, with Severus. You may not even have a job. Even if you do, you're not going back. You said you wanted to quit using drugs. You weren't able to quit by continuing to work there where they kept feeding it to you, and stressing you out until you really believed you had to have it. I've already taken leave from my job. Now you will. You're going to take leave and you're going to a rehab center. There is no other option, Draco. You leave the job if you still have one, and go to rehab, or..." Harry took a deep breath. "Or I'm leaving. I can't live this way. I don't know what I would do without you, but I can't go on like this."

"Oh, gods." Draco shook his head, tears in his gray eyes. "I know it's what I need to do, Harry. I'm just...oh, hell. I'm scared to death. Severus told me I could have died, using and drinking...how close I came to dying. I just couldn't resist once it was in my hand...I'm not strong enough alone..." His voice broke, and he bit his lower lip. "I need you, Harry. Please don't leave me alone. I'll do anything you say."

"You're not alone, Draco," said Harry, "and you never have been."

.&.