All Eyes On Me

Harry Potter. The boy you always wanted and could never have. The boy with eyes like living emeralds and hair like a tousled pile of thin onyx strands. The one who always smiled sympathetically and indulgently at you, the smile you lived for and yet hated because it was condescending as well as sweet. The boy who was always there at the right time with just the right thing to say, with a voice that you would have given anything to hear always. The skinny, tall boy whom everyone else thought exceptionally plain, whereas to you he was the epitome of perfection.

The boy who lived.

The boy you loved.

The boy who didn't love you in return.

And the boy you were forced to forget because of another boy.

Draco Malfoy.

***********

Daylight burns your sleepy eyes and

it's hard to see you dreaming

you hide inside yourself and

I wonder what you're thinking

and everything you're chasing

it seems to leave you empty

Ginny Weasley curled up under her four-poster bed, hoping no one would come in. At sixteen, she was far too old to be hiding under her bed like a hurt child, but she needed to be alone and this was the one place she could find right now. She knew her hair was a ratty mess, she knew her eyes were puffy and red, she knew her face was streaked with mingled dust and tears, she knew she was ruining her Hogwarts uniform, but at this moment she didn't care. She cried for a few more minutes, then wiped her face sloppily with the sleeve of her sweater, wincing slightly as she moved her sprained wrist the wrong way. It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have happened, she should have gone straight to McGonagall after it had......

No.

It was not something McGonagall could fix, anyway. It had already happened...........

*Flashback*

"Weasley, Malfoy, leave my classroom until you can behave appropriately, "said Snape icily.

"But Professor, I wasn't--I didn't--"Ginny tried to explain, her face going bright pink as the entire class, including Harry, laughed. Ginny had Potions and Charms with the seventh years now, having requested to be moved up when it became clear that she was far more advanced in these subjects.

"Silence. I will have none of that in my classroom. Twenty points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin. Now, get out before I make it fifty. I will be speaking to Dumbledore about you both, "said Snape menacingly.

Draco Malfoy just smirked and followed the now-scarlet Ginny out of the classroom. Once they were outside, she turned and glared at him furiously.

"Just what the hell did you think you were doing?"she hissed, itching to slap him.

"Why are you so mad? There are a lot of girls who would give anything to have me kiss them." Draco smirked.

Ginny almost choked, she was so angry. "You--you little fuck, "she struggled to find words. "I should send you to the hospital wing now. You asshole, you just got me kicked out of class."

"Worried you're going to fail, Weasley?" Draco said lazily.

This was too much for Ginny. She slapped him sharply across the face. "Don't ever do that again, Malfoy, "she fumed. "If you do, I won't be responsible for my actions." She turned to go, but he grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him.

"Hey, look, calm down. I didn't mean to get you kicked out and if you hadn't noticed, I got kicked out too. Sorry I kissed you. Yes, I really am! I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I won't do it again, I promise. Don't be angry at me. Come on, I'll get you a drink at the Three Broomsticks to make it up to you."

"Fine, "said Ginny flatly. Her anger was gone and now she just felt blank. Besides, he had apologized, after all. And she really was looking forward to a drink in Hogsmeade, so she and Draco walked down to Hogsmeade slowly, neither saying much.

"So why are you always sneering or just generally being a pain in the ass?"asked Ginny casually.

"Because I can, "said Draco easily, not in the least daunted by the question.

"That's not a reason, it's an excuse, "declared Ginny.

"There's a difference?"retorted Draco.

Ginny shrugged indifferently. "Whatever. Hey, I've got a question. Why wasn't Pansy in class? She was supposed to help me with my potion."

"Oh, she got switched out, "said Draco, sounding thoroughly glad. "She got permission from Dumbledore to take that class on Saturdays so she could work."

"Great, "muttered Ginny. "So now in addition to being kicked out of class, I need another partner."

"I'll be your partner,"said Draco a little too eagerly. Ginny looked sharply at him. "But only because you really suck at Potions, "he added quickly.

"Okay, "said Ginny slowly, smiling shyly. Draco smiled back, a genuine smile that had long been unused, and thought that Potter had to be several different kinds of a fool to not appreciate the fact that Ginny seemed to exist for him.

They went into the Three Broomsticks and sat down at a table. "Two butterbeers, Madam Rosmerta, "Draco called.

Madam Rosmerta smiled briefly at them and turned. "Pansy! Get your nose out of that book and take two butterbeers to table four."

Pansy Parkinson reluctantly looked up from The Love Potion: A Complete History and Guide and glanced at table four. Her eyes widened and she pressed her lips together tightly. She watched them for a few moments. Draco was talking earnestly to Ginny, but Pansy could see by the expressions on Ginny's face that Ginny was being sarcastic and rude.

So that's how it is, Pansy thought dully. Draco likes the little Weasley, but she doesn't like him.

Now, Pansy Parkinson may not have been a kind or thoughtful girl, but she really did love Draco and though she knew he would never take a real interest in her, she did want him to be happy. And it was this thought, not malice or spite, that compelled her to pull out a small glass vial from her robes and pour it's contents, a thick, clear syrupy liquid into Ginny Weasley's mug of butterbeer.

"Hi, Draco,"she said brightly as she walked over to the table where Draco was laughing at something Ginny had said. "Here's your drinks." She completely ignored Ginny. As she walked away, she fought down tears. Well, Draco would be happy now. And the Weasley---well, who cared? Draco would get what he wanted--Ginny's love--and that was all that mattered.

"Pansy works here?"said Ginny in slight surprise. "I didn't know."

"Yeah. So what are you going to do after you graduate?"asked Draco.

"I don't really know for sure, "said Ginny, frowning. "I've still got another year to think about it. But I want to be a Tracker. The Ministry has discovered a new magic, one that enables you to smell almost anything; emotions, names, places, intentions, you name it. So I want to learn that, and become a Tracker. Hunt down Death Eaters, criminals, maybe even Voldemort."

"Here, here, "said Draco, thinking of his father. He raised his mug. "To Trackers."

"To Trackers, "smiled Ginny, and she drank deeply, unaware that Pansy was watching with silent anxiety. She put her mug down suddenly. "Oh. " All of a sudden she looked sick.

"Are you alright?"asked Draco.

"Yes, it's just--"she looked up and saw Draco. Suddenly she was feeling very strange; she had an almost uncontrollable urge to say three words which suddenly applied to a certain someone sititng in front of her. "What just happened?"

"You tell me, "said Draco, looking alarmed because Ginny was looking at him very weird. "Is that butterbeer okay?"

"Mmm-hmmm, "murmured Ginny, very confused. I love him, she thought dreamily. All of a sudden I love him. But why? I don't like him. No, I don't like him at all. And yet I love him. What the hell's going on?

"Ginny? You look sick--maybe you should go to the hospital wing--"

He's so sweet. Look, he's concerned about me. Wait! No! This is all wrong! I can't love Draco Malfoy! He's the worst sort of person I know! I can't---can't..........

But I do. No!

"No!" shrieked Ginny. "I'm fine--I'm---what is going on?"

"I don't know, Ginny, but you don't look well. " Now Draco was really alarmed. "Come on. I'll get you up to the hospital wing." He took her hand and pulled her up.

"No!" Ginny repeated. She wrenched away so violently that pain shot up her wrist as it twisted. On her way out the door she tripped and landed hard in the gravel. Already tears of rage and confusion were starting in her eyes. She pushed herself up and ran blindly in the direction of the castle, leaving Draco to stare after her with a bewildered, sad look in his pale grey eyes.

*End Flashback*

And it won't take long to burn

All eyes on me

through the nothing that you've learned

All eyes on me

And the things you choose to be

All eyes on me

But your eyes look away

It's so hard to be someone

Who's strung out from today

And all that you knew slipped away

Ginny sniffled quietly. She didn't know what she was going to do next. She knew now that she had been given a Love Potion; Hermione had confirmed what Ginny had already suspected. And she knew that somehow it had been altered, for the antidote, which Hermione had also provided, had not worked. And now Ginny felt as though she could never face Draco again. She loved him, oh yes, she loved him with every fiber of her true, passionate being. But it wasn't because she wanted to; it was because she had to. Ginny, if a bit shy, was severely independent and being forced to love someone she did not want to love was more degrading than anything else she knew. She struggled to keep a fresh wave of tears down. Suddenly she was furious with herself for allowing herself the luxury of self-pity. She would not make this a big deal. She would continue to behave normally. The fact that she loved Draco Malfoy did not matter one bit. She would go to Professor McGonagall and see if she could do anything about it.

She crawled out from under her four-poster. Trembling slightly, she walked to the bathroom, washed her face, combed her hair, changed her uniform, and put a Healing charm on her wrist. Then she set her teeth and walked out of the Gryffindor common room. And wished she hadn't, for Draco was standing there leaning against a wall, arms crossed, eyes closed, an expression of intense pain on his face.

He looked up as she tried to walk past him. "Hey. Ginny, wait."

She stopped and looked at him. "What?" She almost burst into tears again. She loved him. Why? Why was loving him so painful?

"I, uh, talked to Pansy. She admitted to putting the Love Potion in your drink. I'm sorry." He patted her shoulder awkwardly.

"I thought you'd be amused beyond reason, "said Ginny sarcastically, needing an outlet for her feelings and finding it in sarcasm.

"Well, I'm not." Draco looked slightly hurt. "I don't want you to have to love me. That isn't real love, anyway, and I'm not going to take advantage of it. I just wanted to tell you that I'm here if you need to talk or anything. "

Ginny's lip trembled. At least he's being honest, she thought. And he's not so degenerate as to take advantage of it. "I'm going to go see if McGonagall can do anything about it. She probably can't, but--"she bit her lip and looked down to hide the tears that were gleaming in her brown eyes.

"Hey." Draco tilted her chin up and looked her full in the face, brushing a strand of her red hair back. "It's going to be alright. You'll get through this, I promise."

"I love you, "said Ginny. At least I'm not lying. And he is being wonderful about it.

"I know, "said Draco, and Ginny heard the pain in his voice. She stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips against his. For a moment, he pulled her close and kissed her tenderly, but then he pulled away. "No, "he said, his voice rough and unsteady. "It's not fair to you." He released Ginny.

"I'll see you later, then, "said Ginny shakily, stunned at how effective the Potion was. For now she saw the good in Draco, whereas before she had only noticed his bad points. She turned and almost ran away.

************

Ginny knocked timidly on Professor McGonagall's door. Then she opened it slowly and walked in. "Professor McGonagall, I need to talk to you, "she said quietly.

"Alright. What seems to be the problem, Miss Weasley?" McGonagall asked briskly.

Ginny took a deep breath. "I've been given a Love Potion, and the antidote doesn't seem to be working. I wondered if you could possibly help me." Ginny wondered that she sounded so calm, for she felt like shrieking, her nerves were so tense.

"Well now, "said McGonagall blankly. She regarded Ginny closely for a long while. Then---"I would need to know who gave you the Potion, and I would need a sample of the Potion they gave you so I can create an Antidote."

"Pansy Parkinson put it in my butterbeer, "said Ginny slowly, "but you'd have to ask her about the sample."

"I see, "said McGonagall thoughtfully. She took a handful of green powder from a vase on her mantel and threw it into the fire. "Severus, "she called.

"Yes, Minerva?" Snape's face appeared in the flames.

"Will you please bring Miss Pansy Parkinson down to my office? I need assistance with a Love Potion."

Snape nodded sourly and his face disappeared.

"Now, "said McGonagall slowly, turning back to Ginny. "Whom is it that you are--ah--"

"Draco Malfoy, "said Ginny immediately, clenching her hands into tight fists in a vain attempt to not think about him.

"I see, "said McGonagall again as Professor Snape and Pansy walked in, Pansy looking very pale and frightened and Snape looking irritated and bewildered.

"Miss Parkinson, "said McGonagall sternly, "is it true that you gave Ginny Weasley an altered Love Potion?"

Pansy nodded, looking down uncomfortably.

"Fifty points from Slytherin, "said McGonagall sharply. "And detention. It is against Hogwarts rules to administer Love Potions without permission from a teacher. Remember that. Now, do you have any of the Potion left?"

"No, "said Pansy flatly. "I used it all. "

"What did you put in it?"continued McGonagall.

"I left out an ingredient, "said Pansy sullenly.

"Which ingredient was it?"

"I don't know and I don't care, "said Pansy defiantly.

"Minerva, "said Snape suddenly, "if she left out a key ingredient, then that Potion may very well be permanent. Nothing will reverse it if she did. Nothing."

Ginny suddenly felt as if an ice cold hand had grabbed her heart. Permanent.........?
No. It couldn't be. Love Potions were simple to make and easy to remove. Permanency was not a factor. Or, at least, it wasn't supposed to be. Ginny's head was spinning. She took a step backwards, the room tilted, her knees turned to water, and blackness overcame her.

And it won't take long to burn

All eyes on me

Through the nothing that you've learned

All eyes on me

And the things you choose to be

All eyes on me

But your eyes look away

It's so hard to be someone

Who's strung out from today

And all that you knew

Slipped away.....