Sempre Tu?

After that hot and muggy day in early August, Narcissa and James became quite close. James began going to the Black home more often as he and Sirius became better and better friends and almost always Narcissa was already there or dropped off at some odd hour by her parents. They had the time of their lives then.

Sometimes all of the children would play a huge game of magic tag or have exploding snap tournaments. But usually Bellatrix would wind up in the attic rummaging through old trunks, trying to find Dark Artifacts and Andromeda would curl up in the library with a good book and fantasize for hours about being somewhere, anywhere, else. This left the four younger children to play amongst themselves and, seeing as he was three years younger, Regulus was usually excluded as well.

Which caused Narcissa, Sirius, and James to form the most unique of bonds.

James hadn't lied the day he told Narcissa he'd love her forever and he made sure she knew it at every turn. As children this love was reserved for when she was hurt or picked-on or sad, but as they grew older it blossomed into something more mature, something well beyond the confines of friendship.

In essence, they fell in love.

As always with James, there was some sort of epiphany. He'd had one the day he'd met Sirius for the first time, the day he realized what a dung-bomb really was, and the day he realized that the love he'd carried for so long wasn't that of a brother loving a sister. Having an epiphany was always hard work, but when it was as earth shattering as his most recent, it was like going to hell and back.

They were at the very beginning of their sixth year when it happened, on the train to Hogwarts to be precise. Sirius had run away over the summer, claiming his family hated him and he them, and, of course, had come running to James. They had just sat down in an empty compartment when it happened.

Narcissa had stalked up and down the aisles, poking her golden head into every compartment until she found the one she was looking for. The look on her face and the stance she'd adapted after the door was fully open reminded James so much of how she looked the first time she'd marched up to him in the garden that he almost laughed out loud. But, from years of experience, James knew to keep his mouth shut when she looked at them like that. Sirius, James noted, also knew the wrath of his youngest cousin when she was in this state and shrank away from her glare.

"I cannot believe you Sirius Alphard Black," she hissed, her voice dripping with venom. "How dare you bring shame to our family once again? You're very lucky I love you with all my heart or I would tear you limb from limb and feed you your own entrails."

James sneaked a peak at her delicate little hands and decided that yes, she most likely could rip Sirius limb from limb and then feed him his own organs.

Sirius looked at James for support, but James just shrugged.

"I have done nothing but love you and this is how you repay me? Do you have any idea what it's like at home?" Narcissa asked, tears forming in her cornflower blue eyes. "It's hor... Horrible."

Sirius opened his mouth but Narcissa held up a hand to stop him.

"You betrayed us Sirius," she said slowly, shakily. "You betrayed me."

And with that she turned on her heel and retreated from the compartment. Sirius slid lower in his seat, obviously feeling bad about the actions he'd taken earlier that summer, while James stood without hesitation and followed Narcissa to another empty compartment. He tried pulling the door open, but it wouldn't budge.

James sighed. "Narcissa. Please Cissa, open the door. I just want to sit with you."

"No," came the strangled cry from inside the compartment.

James' heart wrenched. "Please Cissa. I promise you don't have to say a word. Or, if you want, you can scream at me until your voice is hoarse and you're all cried out. Just open the door. I really don't want to get expelled for using my wand just mere hours from Hogwarts."

Silence.

"I'll do it you know," James threatened. "I'll use my wand and then I'll get expelled and it will be all your fault. I know you don't want to be the reason I wind up a garbage man, so could you please open the door?"

He heard the swish of her robes and a moment later the unlocking of the door. He waited a moment for her to open it, but decided she'd sat back down and reached out to do it himself. What he saw when the door slid open cut his heart in two. She was sitting on the bench, her face in her hands and her whole body shuddering. She looked up at him, but the gaze was cut short as her face dropped back to her hands.

"Hey, Cissa," James said quietly as he kneeled down in front of her. "Come on now, big girls don't cry."

"Yes they do," she murmured into her hands.

"But Black's don't," he cupped her cheek in his hand and, after a moments hesitation, she leaned into his embrace. "Come on Cissa. Look at me Love."

After taking a deep breath Narcissa slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck so fast he almost fell backwards onto the floor. Luckily, he caught himself and pulled her to his chest as he settled onto the bench beside her.

"Now, now ickle Cissa," he teased. "You're okay. Tell Jamesy everything."

She shook her head.

"Come now, it can't be all that bad at home," James said. "It's not like your parents can be paying less attention to you than they have your whole life and..."

"That's just it James," Narcissa cried and pulled away. "They are paying attention to me. They're paying more attention to Bella and me than they have our whole lives. Don't you see? That's the problem."

"But how..."

"I'm betrothed," she breathed.

It was at that moment, that excruciatingly painful moment, which James realized he was in love with her. He looked at her, his face frozen in horror and shock, and felt his heart break right in his chest. If only he'd realized it earlier...

"Say something James," Narcissa whispered; her eyes filled with tears of pain and worry.

"Who?" It was all he could manage to choke out.

"Malfoy," Narcissa's eyes shut tightly as she fought back yet another onslaught of tears. "Lucius Malfoy."

"Why?" James asked as the back of his own eyes began to burn.

"They don't want me to shame the family name any more than it already has been," she shook her head and sniffled softly. "Bella's already been promised to Rodolphus Lestrange. They'll be married within the year."

"And you?"

"Graduation," she rested her head on his shoulder. "Not a day sooner, not a day later."

"You mean..."

She nodded against his shoulder as fresh tears spilled over her pristine cheeks. James let his own cheek rest on the crown of her head as they leaned back in the seat. He let her cry on his shoulder until she'd finally tuckered herself out.

Slowly, so as not to disturb her, he untangled himself, rested her sleeping body on the bench, and left the compartment. He headed down to the one he'd been sharing with Sirius an hour earlier and yanked open the door with all his might. His vision was blurred so he didn't even notice Remus and Peter sitting across from Sirius as he sobbed, "You have to go back Padfoot. Please, go back."