No Happiness

"There are many things in life that can make you smile.

Getting a Firebolt in the middle of the year for no reason, a smile from your crush, the pride from your parents after seeing a good grade, bugging more Gryffindors than your friends, managing to lose that stupid test in which you didn't get a very good grade without your parents finding out, so you won't get grounded.

But even if those things make you smile, and have a good time, there's only a few that really manage to make you happy.

Like finally being able to choose which side you want to fight for, being free, realizing the person you have always loved loves you back and wants to be with you.

And getting back your childhood is one as well. The one I lost every time Lucius raped me, when I was a child.

I thought for a while I would get it back, with the help of Harry, Dumbledore, our friends.

But I was so wrong.

After Harry finally killed the Dark Lord, it was only a matter of weeks before my father would be killed too, I knew that.

And so did he.

So Lucius decided to have his revenge with me, since years and years of failed attemps at killing Potter had proved to be useless.

By the time they finally found him I was broken, years of healing completely wasted by stupid Aurors who weren't able to find him before he could destroy everything that Dumbledore and everyone in Hogwarts had been able to heal within me.

Harry blaimed them, for me flinching from his touch, his kisses.

I could tell, even when he tried to hide it.

He got us away from the Wizard World, cut every contact.

Friends, family... he told no one, just took our stuff one Saturday morning and told me he would heal me, even if it took him forever.

And that day it was the last time I saw a wand.

Now he scowls every time someone says the word magic, doesn't even look at trees.

They remind him of wands.

He always makes it so that his hair falls over his forehead, covering the scar the Dark Lord gave him. And everytime I try to get him to remember the good things about Wizards, how we should contact Sirius, Hermione and the others, he gets mad.

He yells a lot lately.

He's not as happy as he was before, when we first became lovers.

Maybe my father was right.

He used to tell me, while he was hitting me, that I would taint everything that I touched.

Everything I loved, all the beautiful things I possesed, would be destroyed.

By my own hand.

I don't think I can stand it anymore.

I tried to be strong for him, but I can't take it anymore.

I'm tired.

I need to rest.

Don't misread my words, my beloved, because I'm grateful for your concern, your choice to try to heal me.

But there's nothing to heal inside of me anymore, this time, I'm empty.

I just will request one thing of you.

Look for help, Harry, go to Hermione, to Sirius, that's all I ask.

Keep yourself alive.

Because I don't have any will to live anymore.

I don't have the strength to keep breathing.

Look for me Harry, when you leave this world.

I will be waiting for you.

Forever.

I love you.

Regards,

Draco Malfoy"

Harry Potter hugged the letter to his chest, tears running down his face, while the paramedics took away Draco's dead body.

"We'll see eachother again, my Dragon, I promise"

And he left the kitchen, in search of some parchment.

"Dear Hermione..."