Eternal Flame

~*~*~*~*~*~

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
~*~*~*~*~*~

"Remus," Sirius moaned, but it was muffled by Remus' mouth covering his own. Remus' tongue was adventurous, causing Sirius' heart to race. Can Remus feel it? he wondered. Is Remus' heart beating just as fast? The thought was quickly pushed from Sirius' mind. Remus' kisses were becoming deeper and longer, making all logical thought leave.

With supernatural strength, Remus tore off Sirius' shirt. Sirius was shocked momentarily, but it was quickly replaced with pleasure. Remus was sending warm kisses down his neck and chest. A wave of shivers passed thorough Sirius; his body began to shake with excitement.

Remus raised his head and looked Sirius in the eyes. "Padfoot?" he said. Perplexed, Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow to his friend. Why does Remus' voice sound like James? "Padfoot!" Remus said again, with James' voice. "It's time to wake up."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius sat strait up in bed. The early morning light was shining into the dormitory. James was sitting on the next bed over, his hazel eyes gleamed. Dreaming! Sirius' mind yelled. I was dreaming? He looked down at himself. His shirt was still on. His eyes ran across the room. Remus was getting dressed in the far corner. Sirius quickly averted his eyes. But it had been so real. And so... right.

Pushing away all thoughts of Remus, Sirius quickly got out of bed and began to dress.

"What were you dreaming about?" James asked with a grin. "You were smiling from ear to ear."

Sirius knew how to keep his emotions under control, if necessary. He was very grateful for that skill at this time. "I was dreaming about Lily," he smirked. That took the expression right off James' face. Peter had to work hard to hold in his laughter, but his face was turning purple with the effort.

It was a busy day and Sirius did a good job of not thinking about the dream for a good portion of it. Until after dinner. The Marauders, and Lily, were sitting around the fireplace, like usual, doing their homework. They're astronomy charts were due that night. So, the group worked in uncharacteristic silence. James and Lily were sitting on the sofa. Sirius had tried to sit down next to them, but James gave him a no-way type look; apparently he hadn't forgiven Sirius for his dreaming comment that morning. Sirius harrumphed, then went to sit down in his armchair, only to discover that Peter was sitting there.

"Move, Wormtail," Sirius told the smaller, brown-haired boy. Peter's squinty brown eyes looked up at Sirius.

"But Padfoot," he whined in his squeaky voice, "I always have to sit on the floor."

"That's exactly my point. It's your spot. So move so I can sit in mine."

"You can share with me," came Remus' voice from the other armchair. Sirius looked over in surprise. It was at that moment, Remus' green eyes locked with Sirius', that the dream came back to him in force. The way Remus had been laying atop him. The way Remus' lips were so warm against his. The way Remus had ripped off his shirt. It froze Sirius to the spot. "I won't bite," Remus said with a half-grin. "Hard," he added.

Sirius nodded, not trusting his voice. Remus scooted over allowing Sirius to sit down. Their bodies were pressed against each other, making Sirius uncomfortable, in a very comfortable way. Remus' body was so warm. He smells real good too, Sirius was unable to stop the thought. Stop! he scolded himself, this is Remus! Remus! He's not like the slutty whores you usually chase after! That comment made him ponder for a moment before adding, Exactly.

All the others had returned to their homework, none of them so much as glancing at Sirius. Still, he felt as if all eyes were on him. He was sweating and his hands felt clammy. The closeness of Remus' body clouded Sirius' thoughts. What's going on? It was only a dream! I'm not attracted to Remus in that way. But Sirius knew it was a lie at once.

Remus was very good looking. Sure, he wasn't drop dead gorgeous, like Sirius himself was. But he had that subtle, boyish look that left you weak in the knees. His golden brown hair. His brilliant green eyes. He was smart. He was witty. He was perfect.

"You okay, Padfoot?" Remus suddenly asked, causing Sirius to jump. "You know, I was just kidding about the biting."

What if I wanted you to? Sirius refrained from saying out loud, but not thinking it. Stop this, Sirius. You're acting insane! "I'm fine, Moony. Just a bit... er... distracted."

"What's her name?" Lily questioned. All eyes turned to her. "Well, it's obvious he's got someone on his mind." All eyes turned to Sirius. It was kinda like watching a tennis game.

"I... er..." They waited expectantly. Remus more than the others. Or was it only Sirius' imagination? Could Remus fancy me in the way I fancy him? Sirius wondered. No, of course not. Remus isn't like that. Or is he? He's got a pretty open mind. Maybe he could... No! Not Remus! Stop it, Sirius.

"Well... I'm not really thinking about anyone... in general. Just... er... well, thinking about... stuff. Nothing at all specific. Shouldn't we finish our homework?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

I believe it's meant to be, darling.
I watch when you are sleeping, you belong with me.
~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius couldn't sleep that night. What if the dream came back? It was only one dream, but it completely changed Sirius' life. Ever since first day of school, Sirius had admired Remus. Fancied him, you might say. But now, feelings were getting deeper. Never in all their seven years together had Sirius thought of actually sleeping with Remus. Now, since the dream, it was all he could think about. And he wondered why he didn't think it before.

Sirius sighed and rolled over. In the bed next to him lay Remus' sleeping body. He looked so peaceful. The waning moonlight sent its beams upon his light brown hair. Sirius was mesmerized, pulled into a trance. He couldn't look away from the sight. He didn't know how long he lay there silently looking at Remus through the darkness in the room.

"Sirius?" Remus' eyes suddenly opened. "Are you alright?"

Sirius quickly spun away from the other man by turning sideways onto his back. "Fine, Remus."

"What are you doing still awake?" Remus sat up from his bed. The covers fell off him, revealing his shirtless chest. Sirius struggled not to look.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?" Remus stood up from the bed and Sirius saw that he was completely naked. Sirius' mouth worked but no sounds came out. With a secretive smile, Remus walked over to Sirius' bed and kissed him on the lips. "Were you thinking about me, Padfoot?" Remus asked softly.

"Yes," Sirius said just above a whisper. "I haven't been able to think of anything else all day."

"You won't think about anything else all night either." Remus climbed into the bed. It was only when he felt Remus' body against his own, that Sirius realized he was naked too. He didn't remember taking off his clothes. However, he didn't ponder it for long. Remus was pulling him into his embrace, their lips meeting passionately.

"Remus," Sirius moaned. Both their bodies were covered with sweat, but Sirius didn't mind. All he wanted was Remus' body against him. All he wanted was Remus' lips locked to his. All he wanted was their bodies and souls entwined forever.

"Sirius," Remus growled huskily, "I love you, Sirius."

"I love you too, Remus," Sirius quickly replied. It felt so wonderful to say it out loud. More than wonderful. Perfect.

"Sirius... Sirius... Sirius?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning an eternal flame?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius opened his eyes and saw James standing over him. Quickly, Sirius clutched the blanket to him before realizing he wasn't naked. James had the usual morning smile on his face. He always seemed to get pleasure out of interrupting Sirius' most pleasant dreams. Dreaming! Again! Sirius' eyes found Remus, still asleep in his bed. Bloody dreams. Why do they seem so real?

"Are we gonna go to Hogsmeade or not?" James asked exasperated. "I haven't done any of my Holiday shopping yet. And Christmas Holiday starts tomorrow! Hurry and get up, Padfoot!"

Groggily, Sirius got out of bed and dressed into his robes. "Are Moony and Wormtail coming?" Sirius tried to ask nonchalantly.

"Not sure. Ask them."

Nodding, Sirius walked slowly to Remus' bed. He looked just the way he had last night. Before I fell asleep and the dream took over. Sirius shook off his rising passion at the sight of Remus. "Oy, Moony? You wanna go to Hogsmeade? We're leaving now."

Remus slowly opened his eyes. He surveyed the room, his gaze finally landing on Sirius. A small smile appeared on his face. "Yeah, sure." He stretched his arms, causing the covers to fall. His bare chest caught Sirius' attention immediately. Sirius had seen Remus' chest plenty of times, but this time seemed different. It suddenly seemed erotic. Remus' green eyes met with Sirius' blue and the world stopped spinning. The look that passed between them shook Sirius to the core. All too quickly it passed.

"I wanna come too!" whined Peter, interrupting the moment.

"Then hurry," James snapped, which was unlike him. He was usually the only one who was always pleasant. But James had postponed buying Lily's present till the day before Holiday. It was his own fault, but Sirius could sympathize. He knew how it felt to be in love. Because after the dream last night, he had to face facts. He loved Remus. It had felt too right for it to be wrong.

The Marauders made their way down to the common room and out the castle to Hogsmeade. They spent the better part of the day browsing the shops. James was finally happy since he bought Lily's present--a golden wizard watch that told both their locations. Right before heading back to Hogwarts, they stopped in the bookstore that Remus had been begging to go into all afternoon.

Sirius was an exceptionally bright man, but he couldn't understand Remus' obsession with books. He always had a different one in his hand each time Sirius saw him. James rushed over to the Quidditch section; Peter followed. But Sirius chose to wander around with Remus, who looked a bit taken back by this decision.

They walked around the store stopping every now and then so Remus could grab a book and examine it. Sirius was fascinated. Remus had so many different interests, it seemed. He had no clue Remus was so diverse.

"Wow," Remus breathed in awe. He was clutching a book on Runes. "I've wanted a Rune Dictionary forever." He quickly flipped through the pages. "Oh, it's got them all!" Sirius struggled to keep in his laughter. Remus was acting just like a child. It was so out of character for him. Remus' face suddenly dropped. "Oh, I haven't got enough. Mum and dad only sent me eight galleons for Christmas. This is ten. Oh well. Guess I didn't really need it." Remus put the book down then continued walking around.

Sirius felt a pang of sadness in his heart. Poor Remus. He does have it pretty bad. I ought to buy him a good Christmas present. So Sirius rounded up the group and walked them out of the store. "Let's hit Zonko's before we go."

"Padfoot," James said, "you can't possibly want another fanged frisbee." Filch had confiscated it a few weeks ago, but that detention was one Sirius would never forget. He suppressed a shiver at the thought.

"No, I don't, but there's something I wanna check on." The group proceeded, under Sirius' lead, to Zonko's. Once inside, it was easy for Sirius to slip out unnoticed to buy the Rune Dictionary. He hid the book inside his cloak once he got back to Zonko's. "Well, they didn't have what I was looking for. Maybe next time."

Once back at the castle, the Marauders sat around the fire, as was their custom, and talked about Quidditch, and other things. Lily came through the portrait hole looking out of breath. "James!" she panted. She sat next to him on the couch, a smile on her face. "I've just got an owl from my mum. She wants you to come and stay with us over Holiday! Do you think you can?"

At once, James turned to Sirius. Ever since first year, Sirius spent all holidays at James' house. The expression on James' face looked torn. He obviously wanted to go to Lily's, but he didn't want to ditch his best friend. "Lily, Sirius comes to my house every Holiday. I don't think I can just leave him here, all alone."

"Prongs," Sirius said at once, "you never say no to a lady. I've got no problem staying here. I could use a week away from the lot of you." Sirius was a little grim, but James deserved a holiday with his girlfriend.

"Well," Remus sounded somewhat hesitant, "my parents want me to say here too. Sorry Padfoot. Looks like you won't be alone after all."

Sirius' heart leaped at the thought. All alone with Remus. He could hardly contain his excitement. "See, Prongs. Go on home with Lily, so you can snog without getting in trouble."

"Actually," Lily's face was a bit flushed, "I think we'd get in more trouble at my house."

"That won't stop us though," James said with a smile. She smiled too and kissed him on the cheek. "You sure it's okay, Padfoot?"

"Of course, mate. Moony and I'll have a blast without you," Sirius had to work hard to keep the eagerness out of his voice. You're horrible, you know that? Sirius didn't listen to the voice; he was looking forward to Holiday more than ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Say my name, sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to lose this feeling.
~*~*~*~*~*~

James and Peter packed their trunks the next day. The whole Gryffindor tower would be empty, save Sirius and Remus. What luck! Sirius thought. Everyone will be gone! He didn't know exactly what would come of spending a whole week alone with Remus. He wasn't sure what he expected. Or if he would even have the courage to tell Remus his feelings. I've got to get them out. The dream had come again last night. More intense than the last time. However, upon waking, Sirius' courage had dwindled.

Remus and Sirius walked the others to the train station in Hogsmeade. It was raining slightly, but by the time Remus and Sirius returned to the castle, they were drenched. Taking advantage of the empty common room, they grabbed their armchairs and placed them right in front of the fire, warming themselves up. Sirius was more content just sitting next to Remus than he was making love to any other girl. Remus' smiling face seemed to make the rain and clouds vanish.

"You've looked a bit distracted this past week, Padfoot. Anything up?"

"Er... Nothing I can't handle," Sirius said at last. It was true. Even if Remus was disgusted and turned Sirius down, he knew he had to confess his feelings. Maybe it would be best if Remus did turn him down. Then he could go on with his life. This obsession with Remus sure was stressful and unnerving.

"Well, if you wanna talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius smiled. "That means a lot to me."

"Remus," Sirius gasped. That was the only coherent thing he could think. Remus, Remus, Remus. It was so incredible the way Remus could make love to him. Remus, who always seemed so frail and weak, possessed such preternatural strength due to the werewolf inside him. In bed, with their bodies so close, Sirius knew the wolf was close to emerging.

Remus growled softly and nibbled on Sirius' neck. It was both pain and pleasure. In response, Sirius dug his fingernails into Remus' back, hard. He could feel the skin beneath his fingernails; drips of blood on his fingertips. Remus, though, moaned in pleasure. He brought his lips back to Sirius' and they kissed.

"I love you, Remus," Sirius said, his passion building.

"I love you, Sirius... Sirius?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Say my name, sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to lose this feeling.
~*~*~*~*~*~

"Sirius?" Sirius opened his eyes and saw Remus standing next to his bed. Remus' beautiful green eyes looked full of concern. Bloody dream! Am I ever going to get a peaceful night's sleep? "Are you alright, Padfoot?"

"I... I'm fine, Moony."

"Did you have a nightmare? You were panting."

Panting? Good Lord! Did I say anything? What if Remus heard me calling out his name? Best to just blame it on a nightmare. "Yes," Sirius said quickly.

"Well, it's over now. Try to get back to sleep." Remus smiled in a reassuring way.

"I don't think I'll be getting to sleep anytime soon," Sirius replied honestly. The dreams were becoming too intense. Too realistic. Too wonderful.

"I'm sorry," Remus said sympathetically. He sat down on the edge of the bed and patted Sirius' shoulder. The touch made Sirius' heart beat faster. He thought of pulling Remus close to him. Kissing his lips like in all the dreams, but he fought it down. Get a hold of yourself man. He's just being a good friend. He's just trying to comfort you because you were scared. A sudden, wicked thought crossed Sirius' mind.

"Would... would you mind... laying with me for a while, Moony? It... it was a pretty realistic dream."

Remus studied Sirius with a blank expression for some time before nodding. Sirius, grinning, lifted the blanket so Remus could climb in. There had been many times in first year when Remus had woken from nightmares. Since Sirius was a light sleeper, he always heard Remus' sobs and comforted him. Sometimes, Remus would share Sirius' bed. But that had stopped quite awhile ago, Remus' nightmares had faded. It felt a bit strange for the rolls to be reversed, but Sirius didn't mind.

Remus put his head on the pillow, and faced Sirius. Sirius did the same. "Thanks, Moony. I really appreciate this."

"It's the least I can do, Padfoot. We better go to sleep now." But what's the most you could do? Sirius wondered slyly, but then berated himself for such thoughts. Yes, we had better go to sleep before I do something else stupid.

But Sirius wasn't done doing stupid things. Slowly, moving only a few inches a minute, he scooted closer to Remus. Once their bodies were touching, he was surprised when Remus' arm wrapped around him, holding him close. Could he fancy me? Sirius hardly dared to hope. But his thoughts were cut short by the sound of snoring. Remus had already fallen asleep.

Well, he can't fancy me too much if he's already asleep. With a mental shrug, Sirius closed his eyes and sunk into Remus' embrace. The dream didn't come that night. There was no need. His dream was already reality.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Close your eyes, give me your hand.
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius woke the next morning and saw Remus' eyes upon him. "Good morning," Sirius smiled. Remus' arms were still around. It felt so right.

Remus smiled too. "Did you sleep okay, after I... er... came over?"

"Yeah. A lot better, actually. Thanks, Moony."

"It was no problem, Padfoot." Remus stretched and climbed out of bed. That caused a small sadness inside Sirius, but he quickly pushed it away. They spent the rest of the day doing random things. They finished all their Holiday homework, but only because Remus made him. They snuck into the kitchens to get some snacks from the house elves. It was just an average, normal day.

That evening, though, Remus decided to sit on the couch with a book. Sirius did the same, sitting next to Remus. However, the book didn't hold his attention for long. Instead, daringly, he set the book aside and put his head in Remus' lap. He just laid there, perfectly content to listen to Remus' even breathing. After a few moments, Remus' began to run this finger gently though Sirius' hair. With complete happiness, Sirius drifted off into peaceful sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius woke the next morning unsure of where he was. It took him a second to remember drifting to sleep on the couch in the common room. He raised his head and was surprised to see he had been using Remus' chest as a pillow. There was no doubt in Sirius' mind now. Remus fancied him as well. But could Remus' feelings become the intense love that Sirius had? Or was it just a crush that would end in a week?

"Happy Christmas," Remus yawned. "You ready to open presents?"

"Sure, Moony." They both climbed off the couch and over to the Christmas tree. Sirius got a box of ice mice from Peter, a pack of dungbombs from James, and a bottle of firewhiskey from Remus. Remus got a new quill from James and a box of pepper imps from Peter. When he unwrapped the Rune Dictionary Sirius had bought him, he gasped out loud.

"Padfoot! This is so expensive! Why on earth did you buy it?"

"You wanted it, didn't you Moony? Well, you're supposed to get things people like for holidays. You said you needed one, so I bought it. And you sure are one to lecture. Giving me alcohol. How did you even get it?"

"I have my sources," he said cryptically. "Thank you, Padfoot. It really is the best present ever."

"Mine too," Sirius smiled. "Well, maybe there is something better..." Sirius trailed off, unable to believe he had just spoken out loud.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked with a lop-sided grin. Do I have enough guts to make the first move? Sirius wondered. Remus' attitude over the past few days had led Sirius to believe they could have something. But what if he was wrong? What if he misread all of the signs? There was only one way to find out.

"I was just thinking," Sirius stood up and walked over to the abandoned couch. He sat down and nodded for Remus to join him. The other man did. "Mistletoe." Sirius pointed above the couch where a branch of mistletoe hung. Remus looked from Sirius to the mistletoe and back again. His eyes remained locked on Sirius, he didn't protest, so Sirius leaned over and pressed their lips together. Remus' lips were immediately responsive. It sent a jolt of electricity through Sirius. The kiss lasted several minutes.

When they finally pulled away, Sirius was breathless. Remus also looked winded. "It's about time, Sirius," he said softly.

Sirius tilted his head. "What?"

"I've been wanting this for years. But I knew you weren't ready for it. So, I didn't push. Still, I knew you would sort things out and eventually come to the same conclusion I did."

"Which is?"

"We're meant to be together." Sirius could hardly contain his shock. But hearing Remus say it only made it more confirmed in Sirius' own mind and heart.

"Forever," Sirius added. They kissed again and inevitably wound up in the dormitory for the rest of the holiday.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
~*~*~*~*~*~

"How was your Holiday?" James asked once the group was settled around the roaring fire.

"Great," Remus said, smiling. "Yours?"

"Perfect," James cast a glance at Lily. "But her parents sure were a handful."

"Did you get all you wanted?" Peter asked Sirius.

Sirius' eyes met Remus' and they shared a grin. "Yes. Everything."