Small Gods

Lily was both sufficiently intelligent and unbiased to understand the merits of all the houses. From the moment she'd learned of their existence she'd spent her time in careful analysis - she was sure that there was a way to influence the Sorting Hat, or at least to determine the outcome ahead of time. Hopefully with enough time, she'd figure out what being at Hogwarts would really be like. She was certain that one's experience would be determined by one's sorting. She'd heard enough from her cousins already at boarding school that house divisions were all important, and this was in schools where one were randomly placed.

She'd not been a fan of chance and circumstance since she'd learned what they could do. At seven her grandmother had died, hit by a car, in a bizarre confluence of fate. Just chance, they'd said, and no one's fault. But Lily, watching her beloved Nana flung up against the windshield, her blood spraying out across its shattered surface, hadn't been able to accept it.

Some things didn’t quite fit between the lines. They spilled, tumbling into conversation – trembling vowels and narrowed eyes. Hunched shoulders and elongated sibilants. Lily’s grandmother took the form of a blank stare and a suddenly cold voice. The girl became empty, changing over like a skirl of chill North wind through Autumn leaves – stone and the dust of old seasons.

This was not sensible.

Like this:

Lily’s grandmother was the type of woman who liked to crochet cute jumpers and take her daughter out for ice cream. She always insisted that Lily’s favourite flavour was a cloying chocolate and strawberry mélange, with syrup and sparkles on top. No matter what Lily said to the contrary, the old woman was convinced that little girls liked the Super Sundae Surprise.

Convinced that little girls and grandmothers belonged together, every adult in her world conspired to make Lily spend as much time with her grandmother as possible. Petunia was excused on the basis of her special bond with Uncle George.

If she had been older, Lily would have realized that her grandmother was a sweet, if lonely woman.

She hated crocheted jumpers.

She hated the Super Sundae Surprise.

She hated having her cheeks pinched, the fussy way her grandmother drove and tightened Lily’s seatbelt until it hurt. She hated the cloud of wisteria that hovered about the withered woman, like an insidious extension of her presence into scents. She hated the way it clung to her, to her hair, later – an all too physical reminder of a bony arm wrapped tightly around hers.

She sometimes indulged in fantasies, as children often do.

Sometimes they would cross the street and a car would come along.

Sometimes her grandmother --

Not until other things, small and large, had cemented the idea in her mind that she finally allowed that things might just happen sometimes. But that didn't mean she liked it, or that she was ready to take it lying down.

Learning that she was a witch had only amplified her desire for revenge. She was forever then determined to cheat fate as much as should could and if that failed, to beat it back with all of her power. And to do that, she'd need to exploit her every advantage and talent. She wasn't ambitious in the traditional sense, at least she had no need for personal glory - her father's definition of ambition - she only wanted no less than to break out of human possibility and be utterly free. She wanted to dare.

She was often reminded by her family that at eleven years of age she hardly had the ability to 'be free,' and from that she'd learned two things: she wasn't yet ready and needed to learn what that meant and she couldn't trust them with anything important.

For all that she wasn't a bitter girl. She knew that her parents loved her, but also that they didn't understand her. Being a witch was only going to make that gap worse, with them wanting desperately to follow her into this new world and being unable to do anything more than love her during the summers. A clever girl, cleverer than most, she was resigned to her fate. For now.

But for her full-fledged assault on the world she needed to be prepared. How else was she to find out what readiness meant, if not with the best intellectual and moral education? So, she consulted her clever father and clever teachers, ignored her well-meaning mother and jealous sister and searched out every bit of information available to a young Muggle just taking her first steps toward becoming a witch.

She'd even asked shopkeepers and passers-by during her trips through Diagon Alley. Everyone had a different opinion - some said Hufflepuff was the most friendly and others that Ravenclaw was the most welcoming; still others favoured Gryffindor as the most fun. None suggested Slytherin as the proper choice for a Muggle-born. *Mudblood*, she was also called, at times to her face, though some seemed a little scared to say it outright and she had to lean in for their whispers. Lily had never been fond of people keeping secrets from her.

And considering her character, it was probably inevitable that she end up in Knockturn Alley, though some might have hoped that she save the trip for her later years. As always, she was determined to know what was hidden behind the figurative curtain.

During her trip to Flourish and Blotts, the most amazing bookstore she'd yet seen (she'd remarked to her mother that it was heaven, surely), she ran into and quite literally at that, a young witch. Laura was thirteen and a member of Hufflepuff already and even more intriguingly, a resident of the Alley.

She'd been dragging her parents around again to look at all the bizarre sights that the Alley offered up to her eager eyes, when they protested their tiredness and started dragging her in the direction of their actual destination. It was an established pattern that had started on their first visit - to allow their daughter the maximum opportunity to acclimatize herself, the Evans' had decided on a separate visit for each store. Of course this allowed them to learn as much as Muggles could about this strange new world and they used the opportunity as any curious people would.

So grabbing her daughter's hand in a playful imitation, Lily's mother had skipped off to Flourish and Blotts, her husband trailing behind - trailing only because he was laughing hard enough to attract the attention of everyone around them. Clever, clever man that he was, he covertly watched his watchers and saved up their varied reactions to share with his wife later.

She wasn't the cleverest of women, but she was the best judge of character he'd ever seen and with degrees in sociology and cultural anthropology, she'd know what he, an engineer, would not. Funny that he should be the intellectual of the family and she the hard worker.

"Come on then Lily-lils, we've got to buy you some books. Bet you're excited about that, hmm?" She'd flashed her crooked and mischievous grin and tugged her daughter's arm again.

Lily laughed in response. "Of course Mum. Books! I mean... books!"

"For such a smart thing, your verbal skills are somewhat lacking darling dear," her father teased and ran along beside them. People were watching them and calling them Mad Muggles, but it was nothing any of them had been raised to care about.

"Oh well, I'm sorry if I'm excited about owning my very first magical books. I'll try to contain my excitement." She laughed and tucked her wild hair back behind her ears. Her father smirked back and grabbed her free hand while the three skipped down the cobblestone street, her father doffing an imaginary hat at intervals and her mother sketching the occasional curtsey.

"Does anyone else find it odd that they seem to be trapped in the Victorian era?" he asked. "Or at least the Victorian era crossed with... oh I don't know, some silly fantasy novel."

"I don't know dear, it all seems rather logical now, despite first appearances... what I wouldn't give to write a paper." They shared a wicked grin.

"Mum, Dad, there it is!" At her tugging they let go of their daughter's hand and watched her race into the bookstore.

"She's definitely inherited your book fetish, love," shot her mother in a whispered aside.

"No, no, sweet, she got that from your side."

Running full tilt through the door and marveling at the Wizarding version of chimes - translucent globes hovering above the door, with trailing silver threads that alerted the tiny bird-like things inside, which chirped out sweet melodies - Lily failed to notice the taller girl leaving the shop. And of course, as fate always had it, they smashed into each other with enough force to send them both, and the books the other girl was carrying, crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs and parchment.

"Oof," was the only thing the taller girl could manage, with several stone of auburn-haired eleven-year-old squirming on top of her.

"Oh dear," was Lily's response to that, decidedly not one of her better moments.

The other patrons just snickered and stood back to watch the girls attempt to disentangle themselves, that is until one of them noticed Lily's distinct lack of robes. That alone could be forgiven, but her sandals, watch, tie-dyed vest and tan suede skirt that ended at just above the knees, marked her as Muggle, for sure. Not only was tie-dying a fad that had never touched the Wizarding World, a skirt that scandalously short was unheard of.

That's when the whispers of 'Mudblood,' and 'Dirty Muggle' started up.

Lily hardened her features and pulled off the other girl. Quickly gaining her feet, she offered a hand up to her victim. The taller girl smiled up at Lily and took her hand with apparent gratefulness. "Thanks love. I'm not at all steady on my feet after that impact. You've got quite the tackle there, ever think of taking up dueling?"

"Well," Lily started uncertainly. "I, haven't really..."

Seeing her dilemma, the girl cut in. "You know, dueling isn't just wand waving and potion throwing. Sometimes it comes down to swords and even fists, if the witches are too evenly matched. Course, they don't teach you that at Hogwarts, but if you're smart you'll learn something of the physical side of the martial arts."

Lily nodded along to all of this as though she was an old hand. The onlookers sniffed at the talk of witches dueling, and with fists, even - it wasn't considered quite proper.

"So," the girl continued with an affable grin that had something conspiratorial in it. "You're Muggle born?"

Lily nodded, a bit wary.

"Well maybe you've got something to teach me then? What do you say? We can trade knowledge for knowledge."

"What do you want to know?" Lily was gaining confidence swiftly. Schoolyard bargains were a way of life.

"Oh, you know anything about how Muggles fight," the girl said and winked. She cocked out a hip jauntily and rested a hand against it. "From what I've seen you know something of it."

"Sure, but what do I get in return?" Lily mirrored the girl's pose, down to the wide smirk that was spreading across her face.

"I'll teach you how to handle your wand, better than even most of the pure blood firsties can mange. Deal?"

"No doubt." She extended her hand and the girl took it in a firm grasp. "Lily Evans."

"Laura Addison. Now, partner, want to help me with my books?" The shop's patrons turned away with a mixture of offended sniffs and appreciative chuckles. The two girls bent to gather up Laura's books, managing to avoid smacking into each other this time.

Just as they finished gathering them all, Lily's parents came in, still arguing about which side of the family she got her book fetish from. Laura turned to her new friend with an arched eyebrow, as if saying, 'Is there something I should know about you?' Lily just affected an offended sniff, in return.

"So Lily-lils," her mother drawled, "Have you tracked down every last tome on your list yet, or," she eyed Laura, "Have you been too busy making friends? Hello, I'm Patricia Evans and this is my husband Simon." She shook hands with Laura, who smiled winningly.

"I'm Laura Addison and yeah, Lils and I've been making friends." She shot Lily a sidelong glance, saying 'Be quiet.' Lily found it easy to comply.

"How lovely. So you're wizard born?"

"Witch born, really. I've never understood that saying." Laura and Patricia shared a conspiratorial wink, while Simon only rolled his eyes.

"Seems as though I can't escape these feminists anywhere," he muttered.

"As if you'd want to," Lily teased, poking him in the ribs.

"So you're a student at Hogwarts, Ms. Addison?" he ventured in an obvious attempt at changing the subject.

"Yes, sir. Third year Hufflepuff." She said it firmly and with obvious pride, even straightening up as if fearing her Housemaster should wander by and see her not wearing her colours on her sleeve.

"Oh, I thought..." Lily said.

"That I'd be a Gryffindor?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh why's that, dear?" Patricia confusedly looked at the two.

"Just because, she seemed very confident, Mum."

"Confidence is not restricted to the Gryffindors, Lily, just the extremes of bravery."

"So, Hufflepuff... the house of loyalty and hard work?" Simon tilted his head in question, looking only for confirmation. After all the questions Lily had asked, they well knew their houses by then.

"Yes, sir. Builders, soldiers and farmers."

"The practical backbone of society," Patricia offered.

"Exactly, ma'am. Not that I'm painting my house as best," she said, eyes dancing with mirth. A passing customer, glared at her, hissing something about badgers and duffers. "Perhaps we should..." she motioned to the stacks. "I'll help you find what you're looking for."

"That would be just lovely, dear. Are there wars in magic society, then?" They followed Laura through the crowds of milling customers to the transfiguration section. She pulled out a copy of the beginner's text.

"Is it the *Standard Book of Spells* this year for Charms?" Lily nodded. Laura led them off to the next section, confident in traversing the rows and rows of books. "Well, we used to have wars and now we've the occasional... tiff, I suppose. It's inevitable, really, and there's always goblin rebellions and giants and merfolk. And someone's got to keep everyone in line." She strode off again, calling over her shoulder was it this book or that, for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"And the Hufflepuffs do that?"

"People from all houses, but we're most likely to do the thankless jobs. Gryffindors and Slytherins are more likely to be the leaders, though." The conversation had gone from there to a discussion of the psychological implications of the house system and whether it bred those standard characteristics, or just brought them out. It soon became clear that Lily's parents adored Laura, which Laura only tried to reinforce. Lily, not the focus of the conversation was able to stay back and observe.

Laura seemed a good judge of character, and smart besides. The little scene she'd orchestrated earlier had been interesting - an indication of a dramatic and generous personality. She thought Laura would make a powerful and fascinating ally, and if her current charm was anything to go by, influential as well. With an older sister like Petunia, Lily knew how important it was to make the right friends, though she also knew how important it was to throw off it all and just be friendly with whomever she liked.

This girl looked to be the best of both worlds for her - advantageous and likeable. And promisingly, she seemed to have a wicked but intelligent sense of humour, something Lily could definitely appreciate.

The interlude ended with Lily and Laura begging Patricia and Simon to go to Florean Fortescue's for a sundae. Familiar with the ice cream parlour, they eventually capitulated, partly because of the memory of the mint tapioca that they'd liked so much. And off the group had gone, with the adults challenging the girls to a race. The four of them had stumbled down the street, laden with books and bumping into unfortunate passers-by.

Settled into a booth, with the adults ordering at the corner, the two girls leaned their heads together over the table. "So," Laura said. "Are your parents always so..."

"Yes. I'm convinced they're smoking something."

"Smoking what?"

"Marijuana of course. Er, do wizards smoke-"

"Oh yes. Don't even get me started on that. My brother fancies himself a seer."

She rolled her eyes. "Brothers."

"Siblings," Lily added. "So it's smoked to get... visions."

"Supposedly. Gormley, the Divination professor has never mentioned it, so I'm doubtful. I'm far more inclined to trust him than my brother. And you should see my father - he eats mushrooms like most do sweets. Do Muggles-"

"Of course."

"And you do mean..." Lily nodded and the two shared a smirk, then looked over at her parents, who were fencing with spoons at the counter. They rolled their eyes again in unison. "Parents."

"Yes. So, do most magical people use drugs a lot?"

"Oh not really, though potions are more common than most admit. But my parents fancy themselves rebels, even dabbling in the Dark Arts." At Lily's widened eyes, she said, "Oh there's no reason to hide it really. They've not done anything serious yet, and even if they had, the Ministry can't really touch them under the Privacy Act." Still doubtful, Lily just shrugged. "They say a lot about the Dark Arts, but most of it's just older magic they find harder to control. It's only when you get into the deeper stuff that it gets gruesome, but then even light magic can be gruesome. The things I hear about sixth year Potions..." She trailed off with a grimace.

Lily absorbed it all avidly, eager for this new perspective.

"So tell me about yourself, Lily-lils." Lily shot her a glare at the nickname.

"Well, Laura-laurs." The other girl winced at that. "I'm not sure what you want to know. I mean, what's relevant to a witch?"

"Where do you think you'll sort, if you've any idea yet?"

"I've a fair idea of the houses but I'm not sure where I'll be placed yet. I think I've got some of all of them."

"All of us do, it's just a matter of figuring your strengths, weaknesses and priorities."

"So priorities do matter then." Lily tapped a finger against her chin and her gaze unfocused. "I had wondered."

"Got it yet?"

"Yes, I think so, but what do you think?"

"Gryffindor for sure." Laura stared then, looking for confirmation. Lily's blank face revealed nothing. "Coy are we?"

"Always," Lily replied with a smirk.

"Maybe Slytherin, in that case."

"Maybe." Lily's parents returned then with four huge bowls of ice cream. When Simon protested that they'd 'had the munchies,' the two girls dissolved into giggles. Finally finished hours later, Laura had promised to meet them at their Gringotts, before their next shopping trip and the girls had parted with understanding nods. It was clear to both of them that they'd each found somebody useful and compatible.

Back at home, her parents had had to soothe an increasingly petulant Petunia, who refused to come with them, but complained endlessly about being left with Uncle George. She didn't even seem sure whether she just didn't want to stay with George, who was a bit weird, or whether she just resented that Lily was getting more of their attention again. Lily thought it a mix of both.

She felt very sorry for Petunia of course, though a large part of her just wanted to hare off and punch her on the nose fully half of the time. She knew that Petunia often felt overshadowed by Lily, but privately she thought that if Petunia just applied herself to her studies, or sport, or something other than her hair and boys, she'd get just as much attention.

She'd had to hide her books from Petunia, who'd made such a fuss that even their normally oblivious parents had noticed and intervened. Not enough to stop her from her usual mischief, though. And she very much looked forward to seeing Laura again, and teasing out all the hints she'd dropped at their first meeting.

She got to do just that over their next few meetings and the two got to understand each other very well, in due course. Eventually they even managed to convince her parents to allow her to visit the Alley without them, providing that Laura met her at the Leaky Cauldron. And when those visits began, Lily and Laura started their real exchange of information, about what had really intrigued one about the other. Dueling. Fighting. The Dark Arts and Muggle weaponry. Maths and Arithmancy. Potions and Chemistry. They pumped each other for information and compiled a set of comparisons that facilitated an easy camaraderie.

Laura hadn’t been joking about wanting to learn about Muggle fighting from Lily – she never joked like that.

And Laura did start to teach Lily how to use her wand, and more, taught her how to avoid notice by the Ministry by working near strong magical fields. "Shielded places are good but never the best, because the field is relatively stable over the long-term. If you just want to do something small, it won't be noticed, but anything that causes a major spike, or deformation - something bigger - will be cracked down on right quick. The best are always places where a lot of other witches and wizards are working. Labs and the like."

Laura also gave her tips on how to practice spells without practicing outright, and how to study things like potions, without making them and Lily spent as much time as was possible when at home working them. She wanted to know everything, and more, she wanted to master it and take it further than anyone else had. Her parents though, constantly dragged her away from her experiments, bent on sharing these last bits of time together and using them to the fullest. Dearly as she loved them Lily did want to just get away sometimes.

The Dark Arts wove a constant thread through her investigations and discussions with Laura - she didn't so much crave them, as just wanted to take a look and see what they were really about. And on that note, she badgered Laura incessantly, until Laura started making comparisons to her beloved house mascot, to take her to Knockturn Alley, which she'd discovered some time ago.

Laura had grown up in a tiny flat at the intersection of Diagon and Knockturn and with her family's tendencies had spent enough time running on the darker streets to be as comfortable with it as she was with Diagon. She'd refused to take Lily into it, though, saying it was no place for a Muggleborn. Lily had replied that she thought they were past all that.

Laura had agreed to take her in, but she couldn't under any circumstances, tell her parents about it. "I thought," Lily said, "That you Hufflepuffs were supposed to be loyal to a fault?" And didn't she feel guilty about deceiving her parents?

"We are, but your parents aren't my friends. You are." Lily had accepted that as the affirmation of friendship that it was and considered it another lesson learned.

And off to Knockturn Alley they'd gone, wands in pocket and both in robes. Laura had insisted that Lily get a set of casual robes in addition to her school robes, because she couldn't just run around in Muggle clothes all the time. Especially not Lily's Muggle clothes, none of which were really appropriate for Hogwarts.

"So what exactly do you want to see, Lily-lils?"

"Well Laura-laurs, I've made a list." With that she pulled a folded sheet from her pocket and handed it over.

"You didn't. You did. Lily, I've said this before and I'll keep on saying it - you're a consummate freak."

Oh I know, and that's what you love about me." She linked arms with the older girl and said, "I thought we'd start with Borgin and Burkes." Laura just snickered and waved her hand, muttering 'Lead on.'

Laura had already instructed Lily on How She Was To Behave, even down to body language, which she said was essential. Having seen some of the shadier characters at the Leaky Cauldron, Lily was inclined to agree with her, and had been a diligent student, learning how to swagger (but not too much) and sneer (but not too much) and how to blend in (which you can never do too much). She was fairly confident that she could pass for not only pure blood, but Alley pure blood, which meant street smarts, Dark Arts savvy and above all, hardness.

When, during a playful tussle, Laura had pulled a knife and pressed it against Lily's exposed belly, she'd known that her friend's comments about Hufflepuff's being soldiers weren't just her being up on her own house. And certainly nothing about her family had been a lie. She'd been doubtful about the Dark Arts connection, after learning that all her family were traditionally Badgers - they seemed like such an easy way out, from what she'd heard. But Laura had convinced her that they weren't just the simpler version of other magic, with some rather vicious sidelines in addition, but an entirely different path. A philosophy in of itself.

And that was just another piece to the puzzle that was this new world and Hogwarts in particular. She could clearly see what power there was in the Dark Arts, though she wasn't sure she had the temperament, and besides which she was terribly fascinated by Charms. Laura said that she should try to explore as many avenues as possible, especially in her first few years, where she'd learn the very basics - if she was smart and studied hard, she could apply those principles to near everything. She'd also cautioned her against seeing Defense Against the Dark Arts as a fair representation of the Dark Arts and promised to tutor her whenever Lily liked, if only to make sure there was another Lion who really 'knew what it's all about.'

Slytherin was known for its connection to the Dark Arts, but she wasn't entirely certain that the reputation was deserved - from what Laura said, the students there were no more inclined than those in the other houses. Ambition and cunning. Put together a group of children with these common traits, tell them that these are their overriding characteristics and what would you have? Lily suspected that the atmosphere of the house would be incredibly competitive and violent in nature, with fast changes in feeling and desire.

And Hufflepuff, with its reputation for idiocy had produced Laura, who was smart and ruthless, as well as loyal and hard working.

In making her List, she'd thought to seek out some more information about this odd mischaracterisation of the houses. She got the feeling that, as her mother constantly said, history was most certainly written by the winners. And if she was going to be good, really good, she'd need to know the truth behind it all.

So, to Borgin and Burkes and every bookstore Laura had mentioned. Of course, she also just wanted to know more about the Dark Arts and this magical subculture - her mother said one could learn more about a society by examining its taboos than by looking at its great art and highest morals.

Lily surreptitiously observed shop owners and shoppers alike. "Your mother studies various Muggle cultures, yes?" Laura asked in the barest of whispers. Lily nodded. "We haven't really anything similar. No... humanities, as you call them."

"History of magic?" she ventured.

"A catalogue without analysis. I'm tempted to become the first anthropologist." She shot her friend a sidelong glance and smirked. "I sometimes think we could stand closer study." She let their arms unlink and grasped Lily's hand. "This way."

"What would you study, then?" She was truly curious.

Laura canted her head and considered. "Religion, to start."

Lily blinked. "I wasn't aware there even was a religion in the magical world." There was the worry that she'd somehow managed to miss an entire aspect of the culture. None of her research and questioning had lighted on anything remotely of a religious context, so she'd thought. Unless it was... in what was not said.

"Doesn't your mother say that there's always a religion?"

"Yes, but... I didn't think there'd be need of it." For all practical considerations, Lily had been raised an atheist - she didn't feel God, the way her cousins did. And she didn't see any need for it beyond some primitive form of self-protection. Like fate, it was just another thing to break through.

"No? Magic is a terrifying thing. That there is something larger than oneself is a great comfort."

"So what does it look like? Magical religion?"

"Rather... pagan, I suppose you'd call it. We're a very individualistic society, so we need a lot of different gods - must have that personal choice."

Lily laughed then. "You make it sound like it's shopping."

"Shopping for religion? I suppose so... it's as though, the more powerful we get, the smaller our gods get, but they're still there. You know?"

"Well, in the Muggle world, there've been movements based on killing God."

"Just so. Here we are."

Borgin and Burkes was an unimposing shop, if a little unkempt. On one side was a store that bore an uncanny resemblance to a certain sort that Lily's parents frequented. "Is that..." Laura nodded and the two dissolved into helpless snickering. The door chimes were nothing as stylised as the ones gracing Flourish and Blotts. They were a set of thin reeds that produced an eerie low, as the door opened - she didn't think that the air would move fast enough for that, but magic was ever strange. Perhaps Arithmancy was something to pursue.

The shifty, sallow faced man behind the counter nodded at Laura and eyed Lily suspiciously. She glared hardly, then turned to examine his merchandise, dismissing him, utterly. Here was a severed hand, and here a shrunken head. In a woven grass basket, she found a collection of unpolished crystals, of all different colours and consistencies. They shimmered subtly, almost dully and she stared, watching the contradiction play itself out. She thrust her hands into them and sorted through, letting them fall through her fingers. One, she thought, might even be a diamond.

Suddenly Laura grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the display, hissing. "What did I say about touching things?"

"I didn't realise..." She glanced quickly over her shoulder, assessing the shopkeeper's reaction. He didn't seem to have noticed, thanks to Laura's skilful extraction - well, she prided herself on it, so she'd better be good.

"Everything in a wizard's store is for a wizard. We don't much go for simple ornamentation. And therefore everything must be treated with caution. I thought you understood this?" Laura searched her friend's face with obvious concern.

"They just..." she trailed off, not at all certain of what she was trying to say.

"I see. Crystals are used to channel and store power. Some have... especial powers as well, and do... draw you in. Are you alright?"

"Yes." She stared at the crystals. "What do you mean by powers?"

"Like I said, channelling, but just that can have very... interesting implications. Think - what if you could store enough emotion in a crystal that you no longer needed your wand?"

"Emotion." Her voice flat, she still stared as the crystals caught and held strands of light, and not just light - as she watched, a layer of dust melted into an apparent emerald.

"Magic isn't logic, Lily, it's power and passion."

"How... romance novelesque." She grinned faintly.

"The first magic every witch performs is based in emotion. It's the source of our greatest power, though most would have it otherwise - this is the Dark Arts Lily, embracing what you feel, not what you're told. Haven't you ever noticed, well, I suppose you haven't seen it yet," at this she grinned wryly. "But what is your gut feeling on this? Hexes and curses against charms and ideals against passion? Do you see what the difference really is?"

"Gryffindors are renowned for their passion," Lily said dully.

"Many dark witches and wizards were Lions."

"Emotion... causes magic. What does it look like Laura?" she asked faintly.

"Oh it varies. Sometimes it's something as small as moving a treasured toy. Other times it can be explosive."

"Oh."

"Lily, is there something you want to talk about, hon?" Lily looked up at her friend's concerned face. Everything seemed to contract and bits of reality flew away as her focus became only Laura's eyes. Black and shining, sucking in all light. Sick... sick...

"I don't..." She ran out of the shop blindly, nearly ripping the door from its hinges on her way. And as she ran, her boots against the cobblestone street sent up sparks. Emotion caused magic. Chaotic and unpredictable. Emotion, like a brief flash of hatred - one moment, unrepresentative of the whole. She ran on.

"Lily... Lily..." Laura's voice floated on the edge of her consciousness - all she knew was her heartbeat and three words. Emotion caused magic.

She was stopped short suddenly, all breath knocked from her as an invisible wall shot up in her path. She bounced off of it, and crashed to the ground, dazed. Then there was a voice, deep and distinctly masculine and arms winding around her torso. The words rolled again across her awareness. And again.

She screamed.

The arms were gone.

"Lily, hon, are you alright... Oh fucking hell!" A hard slap, and Lily was looking up at a frazzled Laura, who still managed to look mischievous, despite her obvious concern. "It's time to go," she said, and she dragged Lily back to her feet.

They went dashing through down the street, but not, as she expected towards Diagon Alley. Laura took her deeper into Knockturn, until she found a tiny side street and pushed Lily in ahead of her. "I know what you're going to ask and the answer is, if you want to maintain any sort of reputation, you don't go running out of Knockturn. It's just not done. Now sit." Her voice still bore its usual softness and playfulness, but there was a command in there, beyond the obvious. Emotion caused magic, she thought, and couldn't it make the voice a weapon, if it could throw a moving automobile?

"Explain."

"My grandmother..." She stared up Laura, begging, in way.

"You think you killed her." It was said firmly and decisively. It made it real.

"I know I did."

"And what do you want to do about it?" Laura struck that familiar coquettish pose, though with something of teeth in it, this time.

Lily looked up at the sky, barely visible between the buildings that surrounded them in the claustrophobic alley. "Live with it."

In Slytherin she would be given a free hand in achieving her desires and a competitive atmosphere that would push her to succeed.

Hufflepuff would foster her work ethic, helping to become proficient at anything she turned her hand to and it also offered a pool of potential allies, absolutely trustworthy. Not to mention the added benefit of Laura mentoring her.

Ravenclaw would do much to develop her intellect and keep her constantly stimulated. She guessed that her father would be happiest with her sorting there.

Gryffindor stood for honour and bravery - it was the only house that really made any appeal to morality, the others being concerned only with their various routes to success. Of course each came with its own set of ethics but Gryffindor was the only house for which those were explicit and essential. But then, if as Laura said, the Dark Arts were a Path of their own, and Slytherin really was intimately connected... And then again, couldn't the others be classified as moral systems, ideologies and the Founders, so revered, as small gods?

"Evans, Lily." She left the crowd of fidgeting first years and stepped up to the sorting hat, confidence written in her every movement. To Minerva McGonagall, the chubby, orange-haired chit presented hardly a challenge. Though the girl might doubt her destination, Minerva had seen that same walk from enough students over the long years to know exactly who Evans, Lily was. That confidence that bordered precariously on arrogance had let Lily defy a snarky third year on the train and to dismiss a messy-haired fellow first hair with bottle thick glasses with a disdainful snort and a cold shoulder. She had no patience for jokers.

It also let her pick up the hat and carefully arrange it on her hair, without the shaking hands or grimaces other students had been unable to suppress.

Scant seconds later the hat shouted "Gryffindor!" and a table of students in red and gold robes erupted into applause. Lily hopped off the stool with a pleased smile and went over to her new housemates. Passing the huddle of nervous first years, she rolled her eyes and snorted at the idiot boy again.

Instead of paying attention or behaving like a student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he and another black haired kid were giggling stupidly behind their hands. She made a note to stay well away from those troublemakers. A bit behind them stood another boy she remembered from the train. It was possible he was even surer of himself than Lily but they'd see soon enough if he matched her smooth performance.

"Congratulations, Evans." Snape's voice dripped sarcasm the way a leaky faucet drips water - coldly and annoyingly.

Lily sniffed at him. "I hardly see that it's worth congratulating me about; I didn't do anything after all."

Snape folded his arms across his narrow chest and lifted his chin. "Just so and it's not as though being a Gryffindor is anything to be proud of anyway." The words, superficially an insult, seemed to hold a greater meaning and she took a second look at he boy. With the emphasis on 'being,' the statement was an interesting one.

"Well I bet you'll be a slimy Slytherin, you greasy, big-nosed git." One of the noisy black haired boys broke into their exchange; the one without glasses. He stalked forward, hands on his hips, followed by his smaller companion. The loudmouth loomed over the scrawny Snape who simply sneered up at him, then rolled his eyes and turned away as if finding the other unworthy. Clearly he did match Evans. The loud boy, mad at being so easily dismissed lunged for Snape's shoulder. He was unfortunately stopped in the attempt by two rather large identical twins. Very angry looking identical twins.

Why is it, she wondered that all my year mates thus far seem like complete fuckups? She glanced over at the Hufflepuff table, where Laura sat surrounded by her friends. She managed to catch the other girl's eye, and rolled her own. 'Yes, you were right, I should have gone to Slytherin.' Laura winked.

"You don't touch Snape. Ever," said one of them. The other nodded in agreement.

"Well you don't touch Sirius," said the quiet boy with unruly hair. He tried to look threatening, which was a bit difficult with a messy fringe falling into eyes covered by huge glasses. He looked a bit like an enraged doll. "You big dumb thugs."

"Oh," said the other twin. "And if we do, little boy? Whatever shall you do to us?" He arched an eyebrow and stared down his nose at the much smaller boy.

"You'll see." The boy was still confident but Lily could detect a waver behind his façade. She rolled her eyes and moved on, leaving the proto-testosterone fuelled exchange behind. The boys continued to argue until Prof. McGonagall broke it up by calling 'Potter, James.' The other boy exclaimed then that his name hadn't yet been called. It seemed that Black, Sirius had been forgotten.

Alone of the first years sorted that night only Evans and Snape - a Slytherin - would lack sorting stories to tell their new housemates. Both had been sorted within milliseconds of dropping the hat on their heads.

Minerva was surprised; most years not even one student could get through their sorting without a fuss. And when a child was sorted that fast, she knew from conversations with her fellow staff, the hat didn't even bother to converse with her. Or him, of course. Both Evans and Snape had demonstrated the kind of focus and surety that rarely came to even sixth year students.

They both bore watching, especially the boy. Arrogant and cold and obviously Slytherin to the core, he'd already antagonized quite a few other students. And he already had staunch allies in the Rosier brothers, smart and strong. She had also better watch young Potter and Black, the poor boy - born troublemakers the both of them.

Despite the obvious idiocy of her male year mates, Lily really was quite satisfied with her new house and she was sure that her mother would be too. There were a few people worth talking to and all were made of excitement and... passion. It would be fun, which was a strange thought at this point. It wasn't as though she hadn't been expecting the development - Gryffindor to the core.

She surveyed the hall, noting where each first year had sorted and to whom they were now speaking. All, useful information. Her eyes caught Snape's, who was similarly gathering intelligence. They glared at each other but refused to break the stare.

Lily let herself smile a little, a malicious smile. Snape smirked and arched an eyebrow. It was completely unfair that his were so perfectly shaped while hers were bushy. She narrowed her eyes. He would be the one to turn away first.

Their contest was broken by a girl turning Snape back to the Slytherin table. Lily thought they might be related. She was also feeling rather triumphant.

After the feast, as one of the prefects led them up to Gryffindor tower, Laura slipped through the red and gold to pull her aside. "So have you got it yet?"

She grinned lazily at her friend, thinking of family and blood. "Oh yes, and I'm sure it's not for nothing that Hufflepuff colours are yellow and black."

"We're all evil, didn't you know?" she said with a wink.

"Oh, I'm sure. Tell me, the common rooms don't all have portraits of the founders, do they?"

"I think," she laughed, "They'd consider that just a bit too obvious. It takes a few years for these things to really gestate in most minds, though I think you'll have some fun with young Snape. There is nothing better in this world than a worthy adversary."

"Of course, you'd say that."

"Best get going now, little lion," she said, swatting her and running off.

"Evans," called the prefect. "Catch up." So she did.

Things happened so much quicker, so much easier, when magic was involved.

Falling together click, click, click, like destiny just snapped her fingers and never had a bad day.