Golden Thread Of Trust

Golden Thread Of Trust

Chapter 11: Clearly Visible

More than angry words I hate this silence
It’s getting so loud
Well I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It’s getting hard to breathe

Savage Garden - "Hold Me"

Harry pushed his breakfast around the plate, not having any appetite. December second, that meant three weeks and six days without Draco. Tomorrow they were allowed to visit Hogsmeade, but for the first time in his life, Harry didn't feel like going. Nothing could really excite him anymore. He didn't live, he existed. Maybe Christmas could liven him up a bit. Usually it did, but right now not even the thought of the upcoming holiday could make him feel anything. Heads were turned upwards as the owl post arrived, delivering newspapers, letters and packages to the students gathered in the Great Hall.
"Look Harry, it's for you," said Ron as an unfamiliar dark brown owl swooped down and dropped an envelope in front of Harry. Surprised, Harry opened it, and found a short note in a familiar handwriting.

Harry,

Meet me in our room tonight at 11. I need to talk to you.

D.

Harry was shocked. He looked over at the Slytherin table and found that Draco was regarding him with a calm, steady gaze. He swallowed. Had the moment of truth finally arrived? He considered not going for a moment, but he knew he had to take the chance, now that Draco was offering it. Could he get away without telling Draco his secret? Not likely. He wondered if he would still be alive at this time tomorrow, and in case he hadn't died from embarrassment, what his life would look like.

At half past ten that evening, Harry grew tired of staring into the fire, and started to feel restless. Ron and Hermione hadn't gone to bed yet; Harry had the suspicion that they were staying up just to see why he was staying up. He'd already brought his invisibility cloak, so he was ready to go.
"I'll just go out for a walk," he told his friends.
"Sure, Harry," said Hermione innocently. "Have a good time."
Harry shuddered and left.
"You don't think this has anything to do with that mysterious note he got at breakfast?" Ron asked Hermione.
"Probably," she said, smiling. "He'll be gone for a while now, so we'll have your room to ourselves. I thought that maybe..."
She never had the time to finish before Ron eagerly pulled her in the direction of the boy's dormitories.

When Harry entered the room it was almost too dark to see; the only source of light was the faint light from the waning moon spilling through the large window. Even in almost complete darkness, Harry sensed Draco's presence. The Slytherin stood leaned against the wall by the window, with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Hi," said Harry uncertainly.
"You came."
"Of course I did."
"Well, I didn't take it for granted. Judging by your behaviour lately, one could almost get the impression that you don't appreciate my company," said Draco ironically.
Harry winced.
"I'm really sorry. I've been so stupid..."
Draco looked at him and smiled a little. So it was true. Maybe it wasn't too late, maybe this could be mended.
"I might accept an apology, if you give me a really good explanation."
He realised that this could take some time, so he tried to make the room more habitable.
"Incendio," he said, pointing his wand at the fireplace. A fire was lit immediately, illuminating the small room and the two armchairs in front of the fireplace, the only furniture in the room. They sat down in the chairs and looked at each other. The tension between them was almost tangible, and so intense that Harry soon began to squirm. It was so hard to look Draco in the eyes while hiding something so important from him.
"I'd rather not say," Harry confessed. "It's got nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me."
"I really want to know, Harry."
Harry gave him a pained look.
"No you don't. That's why I never told you in the first place."
Draco was extremely curious by now.
"You owe me an explanation, Harry."
Harry stood up and started pacing.
"I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just couldn't stand being around you. I thought it would pass…"
"What?" Draco exclaimed and stood up. "Harry, you're just beating about the bush! You're not making sense!"
He stood in front of Harry and looked him in the eyes.
"Harry," he said softly. "Do you know how much your friendship meant to me? It meant everything! It was the only thing that kept me alive. Now please tell me… why?"
Harry was trapped. He figured that things hardly could get worse, so he could as well tell him.
"Because…" he began, then interrupted himself.
Draco suddenly wondered if he really wanted to know, it seemed like something terrible, judging by the trouble Harry had saying it. Harry looked away.
"…I fell in love with you."
No sound came from Draco, and Harry couldn't contain his curiosity any longer, he had to see his reaction. Draco had a look of utter surprise on his face, and his grey eyes were wide with shock.
'Beautiful eyes,' Harry thought.
Draco was still for several seconds, then his expression changed into one of confusion, then sadness.
"…but you didn't want to be with me?" he asked in a small voice.
Harry was confused. That wasn't the answer he had expected. Did it mean…?
"Yes, I did! But I thought you'd hate me…"
Draco thought that Harry looked so adorable when he was confused and when he didn't know what to think.
"Stupid git," he said warmly. "You should've told me long ago!"
And with that he pulled Harry into a kiss, and both were lost in the sensations. Harry's lips were so warm and soft as silk, softer than he'd ever imagined. He could feel Harry's arms encircle his waist, drawing him even closer, and he let his hands slide up Harry's back to rest them on his shoulders. Their tongues met, sending jolts of electricity down Draco's spine, making him shiver with delight. The kiss lasted for an eternity, or so it felt. Neither of them wanted to let go, ever, but finally Harry had to pull away to catch his breath. He looked up at Draco, his bright green eyes full of emotion. Draco just smiled, words would ruin the moment. He carefully removed Harry's glasses, and they began kissing for real.
Several minutes later they broke off again, flushing and breathing heavily. The silence needed to be broken.
"Harry," Draco whispered in wonder.
Harry didn't answer, he just buried his face in Draco's neck, waiting for his heartbeat to calm down. He looked discontentedly at the two chairs in the room, he wasn't very eager to break off their physical contact. He let go of Draco and walked up to the chairs, and arranged them so that they stood side by side. Draco looked at him questioningly. Harry pulled out his wand and frowned in concentration. Soon the chairs had been transfigured into a sofa. He smiled, satisfied. They nestled really close together on the sofa, trying to find a comfortable position.
"So, do you think you can forgive me?" Harry asked softly, his face merely centimetres from Draco's.
Draco regarded him with dreamy eyes.
"Mmm, if you kiss me again."
Harry complied enthusiastically, the feel and taste of Draco flooding his senses. He would never get enough of this.
"I never knew you felt the same way," Harry mumbled when they had stopped kissing.
"I didn't want you to know."
"Why?"
"I never knew that you felt the same, either," Draco explained. "Besides, I was quite convinced that you were straight."
"Well, I'm not," said Harry and smiled.
"I guessed as much," Draco grinned.
They held each other in silence for a while.
"Draco?" said Harry.
"Hmm?"
"Please tell me that I'm not dreaming."
"You're not dreaming."
"I'm still not sure that I believe you," said Harry and sighed.
Draco glanced at him, then he reached out and pinched the back of Harry's hand, hard,
"Ouch!" Harry exclaimed and glared at him. "What was that for?"
"Just showing you that you're not dreaming," Draco said mischievously.
He picked up Harry's hand and placed a soft kiss on the hurting spot. Then he turned it and kissed the palm of his hand, never breaking their eye contact. Harry's breath caught at the affection that was so clearly visible in Draco's silver eyes. Never in his entire life had anyone looked at him like that. He tried to make his own eyes communicate the same message, and apparently it worked, because Draco's gaze softened even more, and he leaned in for another kiss.
"Harry?" said Draco softly.
"Yeah?"
"Don't leave me again."
Harry held him even tighter.
"I won't, I promise."
Suddenly he got an idea.
"Would you like to come with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"
Draco's smile was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud.
"Yes, of course."

The Ancient One gazed down into the pool of swirling clouds. Another task was accomplished, and she could finally return to her rest. Tonight, she could almost feel her millennia like heavy weights, making her movements slow and her mind less sharp. She was so tired, and she knew instinctively that this was her last task. She could finally go to sleep, forever, and one of the younger would take over. She gazed tenderly down at the two boys again, watching her last commitment. She never thought they would go so far, to actually become lovers, but if that was what it took to save their friendship, it was for the best. Another rift was mended. These two boys would heal an old wound that had become too infected to be allowed to exist. She knew there was no such thing as fate, but she was as close to it as it gets. Tiredly, she drifted over to the stone where Harry once found the sleeping form of Draco, settled down, and the eyes that had seen the beginning of civilisation and the bottom of the human heart were finally closed, forever.

Reluctantly, Harry and Draco realised that they had to get at least some sleep that night and they separated and headed for their respective dormitories. Draco went unseen back to his own room, practising his excellent sneaking skills. He'd been sneaking around the castle after hours since his first year, after all, and he had learned a few tricks.

Harry… Wow, that had been one of the biggest surprises of his life. He laughed and hugged himself. And tomorrow he could spend the day with Harry again, just the two of them. He supposed that they did have some kind of date. He didn't know if Harry wanted to keep their relationship a secret, but it didn't matter to him.
Suddenly he realised that the room was considerably lighter than it should be in the middle of the night. None of the lamps were lit, and no light came from the large window. He held up his hand in front of him and saw that it glowed with a bright, golden light.
"Shit."
He had hoped that maybe they would leave him alone, but obviously he had been wrong.
"Go away," he ordered, but nothing happened.
He could almost hear a ringing laughter in the air. Apparently the spirits thought that since he didn't order them to come, he couldn't order them away. He sighed, defeated. The spirits were drawn to strong emotions; he supposed that the strength of his emotions was the reason they liked him. Once you called them they could find you whenever they wanted, if they cared enough to bother about it. And now they mirrored his happiness about Harry. The actual spirits weren't visible to the eye, only the illusions they created, but Draco had seen them once in a trance, as a part of his training. They were small, and strangely inhuman, floating in the air as if they weighed nothing. Which they probably didn't, Draco concluded. They had different appearances depending on which kind of spirit they were. Elemental spirits were small and whimsical, and they had different colours depending on which element they controlled. There were also bigger spirits who could cause actual changes in the material world, and those were more difficult to control, aggressive and potentially dangerous. Well, all he could do was to wait and see if it went away. It would look slightly suspicious if he was glowing tomorrow at breakfast.