The Mating Game

Chapter Fourteen

Welcome to the Family

Hermione almost dropped her fork in surprise when the unfamiliar owl swooped down and landed on her plate. "Pregnancy does nothing for my coordination," she commented to Severus as she struggled to untie the letter from the bird’s leg. She unfolded the parchment, read the first sentence, and grinned widely. "YES!" she said so loudly that the entire staff stopped eating and turned to stare at her.

At the other end of the table, Angelina Weasley had just opened a similar envelope. She perused the letter briefly, then waved it at Hermione. "Me too!" she announced joyously.

"What is this nonsense?" said Severus brusquely, snatching the letter out of Hermione’s hands. She leaned to read it over his shoulder, as she’d only had the briefest of glimpses before.

***

Mrs. Hermione Snape:

Due to the precipitous drop in the enrollment at Oxford College of Magic during the last six months, we have instituted a distance learning program. It is hoped that those of our students who have ceased attendance due to pregnancy will be able to pursue degrees in this manner.

The following programs are now available:

Courses by correspondence are available for all those working towards bachelor’s or master’s degrees. Exams will be given at Oxford College of Magic or at one of four approved testing centers (see enclosed list).

Thesis programs for master’s degrees must be supervised by licensed Masters. Work may be done at any facility where supervision is available. Theses must be defended before a panel of Oxford professors, either at the College or at a location arranged by the applicant.

If you wish to enroll in the distance learning program, please contact Mr. Donald Prewett in the Admissions Office.

Sincerely,

Francis M. Fawcett

President, Oxford College of Magic

***

"Hmph," remarked Severus with a frown. "I suppose there’s no way I’m going to get you to take things easy now, is there?"

"Absolutely not," replied Hermione smugly. "And do you know what? Distance learning is much superior to on-campus classes."

"How is that?"

"I can work at my own pace. No need to wait for the…" (she paused to give Severus an evil grin before continuing) "dunderheads making up the rest of the class. I can finish in less than two years!"

Severus rolled his eyes in response.

At that moment a solitary owl fluttered into the Great Hall. Since the post owls had long since flown off to the Owlery, all eyes turned toward it as it swooped down and landed in between Bill and Charlie Weasley.

Bill took the small scrap of paper and read it quickly, then passed it to Charlie.

"Fleur, will you take my classes today?" Hermione heard Bill saying. She could see Fleur replying with a nod; Angelina was also nodding in response to whatever Charlie was saying.

The two Weasley brothers got up and strode off quickly toward the entrance hall; Angelina also rose and made her way over to Dumbledore. "Padma and Parvati are both in labor," she told the headmaster. "I hope you will excuse the Weasley clan from the staff meeting tonight?"

"We’ll just have it tomorrow," Dumbledore replied with a twinkle. Suddenly he stopped; his mouth dropped open, and he stared into space for a few seconds. Then, without warning, he began to guffaw so energetically that he almost choked on a half-eaten bit of toast. (He was also loud enough that the entire Great Hall descended into utter silence while everyone stared at him.)

Minerva slapped her husband on the back to dislodge the offending bit of food, and he managed to sit up and get his giggling under control. "Those two," he said, wiping his eyes. "How on earth did they manage it? Simultaneous conceptions I can understand…maybe even simultaneous births. But how did they manage to get it to happen on today, of all days?"

Severus glanced down at the Daily Prophet in front of him, closed his eyes, and frowned. By this point, Hermione knew him well enough to recognize his equivalent of a groan–he never groaned aloud. Curiosity piqued, she leaned over to look at the front page of the Prophet.

The date on top was April 1, 2001. It was April Fool’s Day. Her husband shot her one of his trademark glares when she broke out in loud laughter.

***

"Remind me again how I got roped into this?" whispered Severus as he and Hermione trudged through the rain towards the gates of Hogwarts, following Fleur and Angelina.

"Arthur and Molly consider me and Harry to be honorary Weasleys," explained Hermione patiently. "They can’t go through the adoption process for me, since my parents are still alive, and Harry wants to carry on the name of Potter, or they’d have adopted him. So we’re just informal family. Which means that you are, too, by marriage."

"I suppose I should be honored," remarked Severus curtly, with an expression that said he was anything but. "There’s no way we could skip this, is there?"

"I already missed Zinnia’s namesgiving," sighed Hermione.

"And I suppose that they’re also invited to His Majesty’s namesgiving?"

"Er…I suppose so," said Hermione. "Unless you say otherwise, of course."

He shrugged and shook his head. "I have no family to invite, so you’ll have to make up the difference."

They’d reached the gates now, and Severus took her hand so that they could Apparate together. Hermione closed her eyes briefly, concentrated on the twins’ dwelling, then looked up at her husband. He nodded at her, indicating that he was ready–he’d never been to number ninety-three Diagon Alley, and was following her lead.

They appeared in the spacious living room of the flat above the store. Almost immediately, Fred and George entered from the hall. One carried two little bundles wrapped in blue blankets; the other, two little bundles wrapped in pink. Fleur and Angelina were soon cooing at the little ones, and Hermione found herself drawn forward to look at the peacefully sleeping infants.

Charlie and Bill emerged from the hall a minute later. "Aren’t they cute?" said Charlie to his wife, wrapping his arms protectively around her pregnant belly.

Hermione looked at Severus to see his reaction. She had no doubt that he’d be a good father to older children–children he could talk to–but she still wondered how he’d handle a baby who was little more than a helpless blob.

Her husband was regarding the red and wrinkled faces with more than a modicum of interest. "They are quite…miniscule," he said gruffly.

"They’re twins, so they’re naturally smaller, and they’re four weeks early," said the twin with the boys. "The biggest–this one, here–" (he raised the boy in his left arm a few inches) "weighed six pounds two ounces."

"The boys are yours, then, Fred?" inquired the potions master.

"I’ll never understand how you tell us apart," said Fred gloomily. "We can fool everyone else, even Mum. To answer your question, the boy on my left and the girl on George’s left are mine. George owns the ones on the right."

"I don’t know how we ended up with fraternal twins. We were sure that the potions would ensure identicals," added George. "But oh well. They sure are cutie pies, aren’t they?"

The conversation broke off at this point as Molly Weasley helped Padma walk into the living room and settled her into a chair. Ginny and Luna, both obviously pregnant now, followed soon after with Parvati. The rest of the Weasley family, who had obviously been chatting with the new mothers in the bedroom areas, entered on their heels.

Hermione watched as an amazingly quiet Fred named his children Robert and Rose, after which an equally solemn George named his children Samuel and Selena. She had never seen either act so serious before.

"Well," said Arthur Weasley, surveying his family after the ceremony. "It looks like we’ll all be seeing each other again soon."

"Thanks to you, Dad," said Ron, who was trying to keep a hold of a very wiggly Zinnia.

Arthur grinned at his son and took a bow. "Thank you, thank you. So, which of you ladies is next?"

"Not me," said Luna. "I’m July twenty-seventh–I know Fleur and Angelina are ahead of me."

"I’m next in line," said Angelina. "May fifteenth."

"And we’re after that," added Bill. "The first of June."

"I’m due on August seventeenth," volunteered Ginny.

Hermione felt all the eyes in the room swivel to look at her. "October eleventh," she said weakly.

"All right, Hermione!" shouted Ron and Harry enthusiastically. Fred and George found people to hold their twins and came up to shake Severus’s hand and pat him on the back vigorously.

That night, as they lay cuddled together in bed in the pitch black found only in the dungeons, Severus whispered to Hermione, "That was very…overwhelming, to say the least."

"It takes some getting used to," she admitted. "Don’t forget, I’m an only child too."

"There are so many of them. And they’re all so loud and…emotional."

"I don’t expect you to understand them, dear. Just put up with them."

Hermione felt her husband’s body tense up. "I…I’m sorry I don’t show emotion very easily," he muttered. "My father…strongly discouraged shows of emotion."

"‘Discouraged strongly’? What is that supposed to mean?"

There was a long period of silence before Severus replied shortly, "It means he beat me."

"Oh," said Hermione dumbly. She put her arms around him and held him tightly.

"I hope you don’t think I’m going to be that kind of father," he said so softly that she could barely hear him.

"No, of course not," she said, stroking his hair. She couldn’t see him in the dark, but she felt his body tense up and turn somewhat away from her.

"I don’t want our son to be like me. I want him to laugh when he’s happy and cry when he’s sad or hurt," he continued.

"You’ll be a good father," she whispered reassuringly. "You’re a better husband than your father was and you’ll be a better daddy too."

"Albus wanted me to teach Potter Occlumency," he said shakily. "He thought I could make him as good an Occlumens as I was. He didn’t understand that I couldn’t make Harry detach himself from emotion the way I could. What was I supposed to do? Beat him?" He stopped, took a breath, then said, "I’m sorry. I’m rambling. I don’t know how you put up with such a pathetic excuse for a man."

"Severus," said Hermione firmly. "Don’t you ever say such a thing again. You are wonderful, and I love you. Every bit of you."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the hooked nose that he hated so much. In response, he buried his face in her hair and took several deep, uneven breaths. His whole body quivered as she held him tightly against her. When she turned to kiss him again, her lips found a tear making its way down his cheek.