Dear Lily

Dear Lily

Severus Snape closed the busy day by sitting in his comfort chair, drawing out his quill and writing his evening entry to Lily, in his diary. Even though she is dead, he needed to talk to her. He often wrote to her about his love for her, but there were times when he wrote about other things. Tonight he chose to focus on her son, Harry.

He wrote:

He amazes me because he's strong enough to know when he is weak. It's a constant trait in him to be brave when I know he is absolutely afraid. I find myself almost rooting for him even when he is competing against my own house. He has dignity when he loses and is often humble when he succeeds. He has backbone. He wants to know himself. It is an unquenchable thirst, a foundation stone of his whole being.

I know his life has never been a path of ease or comfort and yet in these difficulties he has stood up in the storms and met the challenges. He is even willing to reach down when all is against him and have the compassion and love to help those who have fallen.

He has a good and caring heart and has goals he wants to reach. He does fail at times and yet he still tries to master himself. I have seen and heard him truly laugh and I have seen and heard him truly weep. He does go forward Lily, but I assure you he does not forget his past.

He does have a sense of humor and forgive me, my love, but I do have to detain him now and then. I am not naïve enough to know that his silliness is often directed at me. He can be so damn serious and yet doesn't seem to always take himself seriously. Lily, I know he is going to be a great wizard someday. Sometimes, and I do stretch the word, he does show wisdom in his decisions; of course, being friends with that knot-headed Weasley doesn't allow this to happen often. He has unbelievable inner true strength and I know for a fact he gets that from you. You were always so very remarkable in that way. I know that is one of the many reasons why I loved you so very much.

Lily, this is so very frustrating to me because of my love for you, Harry, should have been my son, our son. On the one, hand it angers me because I see James in him, and I hate him with such conviction. However, because I see you in him, I love him with equal conviction. I am going insane my love. I want to exit this life and be with you, but I know James, will be there with you and I will go through eternity with as much pain as I have here.

He then tossed his diary aside in frustration. He got up and fixed himself a drink. He sat down, set the glass down, buried his face in his hands and wept.

Dedicated to those who have loved someone they can never have.