The Last Conversation

Azkaban was dark and gloomy. Ethelina touched the wall for a brief second; it felt cold and clammy, more like a dead person than stone. She shuddered and followed the guard.

The Dementor waved her into a cell, and she could feel it sniffing at her as she passed. It brought back memories of a letter telling her that the young man she loved was dead. He hadn't loved her, but she had cared for him anyway, treasuring his friendship. The pain of losing him ripped through her, then faded as the Dementor slammed the door behind her.

"Hello, Little Bug," Bellatrix drawled. "I didn't expect to have you as a visitor." She sat on a narrow wooden shelf hanging from one wall, a single tatty blanket wrapped around her. The cell was barely lit, and Ethelina's eyes had to adjust to the light before she could really see her former friend. "I thought my sister would visit me, but it appears she is as quick to disown me as her husband was to abandon my master."

"She probably doesn't want to end up in here too. Here, have some chocolate."

Bellatrix caught the bars and looked at the purple wrapper, then laughed. "Very good! Cadbury's. Do I eat the Muggle chocolate, or do I carry on feeling the effects of this place? Not many people would think of giving such a cruel gift." She looked as though she appreciated the dilemma.

Ethelina shrugged. "I don't care which you do, but I hope it hurts you to do it."

Bellatrix brushed her long, dark hair from her face, and Ethelina was horrified to see the lines that pain and memory were already carving through her beautiful features. "Nothing hurts me more than knowing that he is gone. Tell me, has there been a sign of him?"

"Him? No. They say Harry Potter's defeated him."

Cold hands unwrapped the chocolate and snapped off a few squares, and Bellatrix munched away for a while. "He's still alive," she said. "I couldn't live without him, and here I am. How could he be dead? He needs me, but he's definitely alive. I'll eat your Muggle sweets, and I will be here for him when he returns."

Ethelina tried to take the remaining chocolate from Bellatrix, and they tussled for a moment before Ethelina won. Bellatrix glared at her, but Ethelina sat beside her on the shelf and reached into her pocket again and brought out a bar of Honeydukes' best. She couldn't torment Bellatrix, even after all she'd done. Ethelina wasn't naturally cruel, and couldn't sustain her malice. "You'll probably prefer this, then. Go on. Eat it. It isn't poisoned. If I were going to kill you, I'd do it in a less obvious way."

"Ah, Little Bug, I knew you'd grow up clever," Bellatrix laughed, hugging her Honeydukes bar to her chest. "Clever enough to kill me, though? I wonder."

"I don't want to kill you..."

"Someone else, then? Who would you like to kill? Tell your Auntie Bella."

"I have lost someone I love, too. A pureblood."

"Well, that's not my doing," Bellatrix announced. "I don't kill purebloods."

"That's a lie. Your lot killed a lot of pureblood wizards, and you all but murdered the Longbottoms. They say you admitted to killing Lucy."

A contemptuous snort. "Blood traitors and Muggle-lovers. Lucy was suckered in by them; she should have died before we ever left school. I mourned her long before anyone else. I mourned her for years before I killed her. If your pureblood was one of those, you're better off without him."

"He was a squib."

"Hmm. Not a bad catch, for you. You've got a little Muggle in you, and he had no magic, but you could've had proper babies. No, it was nothing to do with me. I had better things to do. I might have come to your wedding, though, if you'd invited me. "

"He didn't love me. He'd have married someone else, if he'd lived long enough."

"Ah. We are still alike, I see. Each of us in love with a man too good for us." Bellatrix ate more chocolate, a blissful smile crossing her face. "When I eat this, I can almost remember his voice, his face. Will you send me some more?"

"Will you tell me if your associates had a grudge against squibs? Against a school full of squib children?"

"There was nothing official. Perhaps it was a personal matter. Oh... your brother, he was a squib, wasn't he? Were you in love with your twin? How perfectly twisted!"

"Don't be foul. My brother still is a squib. He's alive. It was his friend, Cassius de Lacey."

Bellatrix rocked back in peals of laughter, her blanket falling away to reveal filthy robes. "Oh, priceless! Crispin's baby brother, I take it? The 'Durmstrang student'?"

"The St Jude's pupil, actually. The family lied."

"Next time I see him, I am so going to rub it in... Although I suppose I'll have to wait a few years to see him again. If I were you, I'd look to the families of all the pupils. Most people don't even know St Jude's exists. Hahaha! Crispin, the over-proud, boring fool! He wasn't one of us, you know. He'd look the other way when we did something, he would never report us to the authorities, but he'd never join in."

Ethelina stood, tears in her eyes. "That's it, then. You've told me all you know."

Bellatrix pulled her back and hugged her. She smelled disgusting. "No, I haven't. Love him. Love him all your life. Carry the thought of him in your heart. You never lose the people you love, they just move out of touch for a little while." She released Ethelina. "Don't you understand? Just because he's not there, or he doesn't love you, it doesn't give you a reason to give up."

"Yes, I understand."

Bellatrix let go of her. "Will you come to see me again?"

"I don't know... Would you like a new blanket? Some clean robes?"

Bellatrix shrugged. "I don't think they'll make much difference. It's not as though many people have bothered to come and see me, and those who do come prefer to see a bit of squalor. You probably shouldn't visit again; everyone's so keen to say they had nothing to do with us that you'll be horribly obvious. Not that I'd mind sharing a cell with you. Keep coming to see me and you'll end up in front of the Wizengamot before you can say morsmordre."

"Mors what?"

A giggle. "It's a spell for fireworks. Morsmordre. Point your wand and shout it, and everyone will be amazed at the results. Go on, leave now. This place will drain you if you stay too long."

Ethelina stood and turned to go, then looked back at the young woman on the shelf. Bellatrix was already less mobile, sucking squares of chocolate slowly to make them, and her happiness, last a little longer. "I wish you'd done things differently," Ethelina blurted. "I wish you hadn't hurt people."

"Regret your own life, not mine," Bellatrix instructed, then turned to face the wall. "My only regret is that I obeyed my master and left the Potter brat for him. Go now. Go now, and don't come back. There's only one person I need, and he will come for me."

With sorrow and conflicting emotions, Ethelina left. Her broom was outside the walls of the prison; flying home in the cool, clean sea air cleared her head. She would send chocolate and clean robes and new blankets regularly, but she would never visit Bellatrix again. It simply hurt too much.