The Release

Professor Snape walked briskly into the storage cabinet, his black robes billowing out behind him. Padma watched him go. It was remarkable how much like a bat he looked, and now, of course, Padma knew why. She subconsciously began rubbing the small welt on her neck where he had bitten her.

She let out a sigh. When she had walked into detention earlier that evening, she had had no idea that it would have turned out like this. Not that she was upset about it though; she wasn't. It was, quite possibly, the best night of her life.

Snape returned several minutes later with a small tray of ingredients, including a few leafy herbs and a vial or two. Padma leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs and folding her hands in her lap. She watched him work.

He deftly set up his large cauldron, magically lighting a green fire beneath it. His movements were swift and calculated; he was obviously quite the professional about it. Padma swallowed hard, her foot tapping against the floor very quietly. She choked back a cry, reaching up to dry the tears from her cheeks.

A small amount of water came to a boil. He looked over at the Ravenclaw and sighed sadly. "I - I am sorry for all of this."

She shook her head quietly. "You have no reason to be sorry. I have every reason to be," she said. Then, "Professor?"

He didn't look up from what he was doing. "Yes?"

Padma took a deep breath. "If you and Dr. McKarrick weren't married..."

"Yes?" he continued again, wondering where she was going with this line of questioning.

She tried to choose her words very carefully. "Would you treat this situation any differently?"

He let out a small sigh. "I suppose. But in what respect do you mean?"

Her gaze dropped to her hands. "I don't know."

"Please be frank. If you have a question, I request that you ask it."

Padma rolled her eyes. "Nothing. Never mind. It's silly and childish."

Snape was concentrating on the potion. "If you have a concern, it would be most healthy if you expressed it. You cannot expect me to read your mind."

"No, I don't suppose I can."

He finally looked away from the bubbling cauldron. "So?"

She shook her head, embarrassed.

Snape rolled his eyes skyward again. "Padma, I highly doubt there is anything left for you to be embarrassed about."

She squirmed in her seat uncomfortably. "Do you regret shagging me?" she asked quietly, never once looking up from studying her hands.

"What a lovely way to put it," he frowned. "If it results in you being pregnant I will."

"Well, what else would I call it?" she was biting her lip again and not looking up. "That's what I thought."

"Won't you?"

Padma seemed to give it a few seconds' worth of thought. "I don't know."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You cannot tell me it has always been a goal of yours to carry my illegitimate child. That would be far too much for one day."

She laughed quietly. "No, of course not."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank Merlin. I really would not be able to handle that."

"I hate children, honestly," she confessed quietly. "So having any was never really on my list of things to do before I die."

Snape almost considered asking why she would refuse an abortion then, but he bit his tongue and continued his work, busying himself with the preparation of the ingredients.

"Professor?"

He was in the process of dumping a vial of unicorn blood compound into the cauldron. "Hmm?"

She spoke quietly, almost embarrassed to ask the question. "If you weren't with Dr. McKarrick, would this ever happen again?" her face flushed.

"This? You mean," he waved his hand around, then he understood. "I do not know. No matter what I say, I will feel as though I was wrong in saying it."

Padma swallowed. "Please, just answer me, for once."

"I cannot say that I would not want it to happen again now," he said quietly, his expression pained. "Is that answer enough?"

She bit her lip and nodded, looking up at him. "Yes, me too."

Snape was a bit startled, although he had already assumed as much. Then, he looked down, blushing, and continued his work on the potion. Padma let out a breath, swallowing again, and watched him. He added a tiny bit of powdered poppy flower roots before sighing and stepping away from the cauldron. "When the smoke coming out of the cauldron becomes blue, I will add the last ingredient. Then, we must wait for fifteen minutes."

"Alright," she nodded.

They fell into a somewhat comfortable silence as the potion settled in its cauldron. Padma sighed, looking everywhere but at her professor. He simply stared directly at the cauldron, his hand stroking his chin and his arms crossed.

Several minutes later, Padma sighed in frustration. "I have to tell you that I can't stand silence, Professor."

He nodded. "Well, to break it, I'll tell you that the final ingredient is a DNA sample from you of some kind. Whatever you feel would be appropriate to add."

"Oh. Does hair work?"

"Yes," he nodded again. "As it works with the Polyjuice potion."

"Right," Padma stood up quietly and approached both the cauldron and her professor. She tugged at a piece of hair and pulled it out, offering it to him. He took the strand without a word and continued to watch the cauldron, waiting for the vapors to turn blue. Padma was growing restless, and she stared intently at the cauldron as well.

"Is there something you wish to discuss?"

"Anything, Professor."

He was still looking at the potion. "I meant more. Is there a way I could allay any fears you may have?"

Padma didn't so much as blink. "I'm not afraid of anything, Professor. At the moment."

"Well then," he said, noticing the vapors turn a light blue color. Snape dropped the hair into the cauldron, watching as the vapors immediately change to a blood red.

"How will we know one way or another?"

He frowned at her. "You will drink the potion, and, as odd as this sounds, if you go numb from the waist down, then you are...pregnant."

"Alright," Padma said, taking a deep breath and readying herself. She sighed and resigned herself to the silence, staring at the brewing potion. Snape silently wished Padma would say something to break the uncomfortable tension that had settled itself in the classroom. Sighing again, she snuck a sideways glance at him. "Is there anything you want to talk about, Professor? 'Cause I'm fresh out of ideas besides saying, 'How 'bout those Yankees?'" she laughed ironically.

"Yankees?" he asked, confused. "Americans?"

She shook her head. "My cousin is an avid baseball fan. The Yankees are a team out of New York City."

"Of course. I do not understand the predilections towards non-wizarding sports."

"Neither do I," she agreed. "Then again, I don't care much for Quidditch either."

He sighed. "I did when I played," Snape continued. "Watching is mundane in comparison."

Padma was surprised. "You played Quidditch?" she wondered, looking at him for the first time in minutes.

"Yes," he said quickly, wondering why everyone is always so surprised by the fact. "I was Slytherin's seeker."

"Oh," she nodded. "That's...nice. You don't exactly seem the type."

Almost indignant, Snape responded. "Why not?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Oh, it doesn't matter," he waved it off. "No one really knows," he kept going, muttering. "They were all too obsessed with James."

"James?" Padma wondered. "Oh, Harry's father, right?"

Snape scowled. "Yes."

"Oh, okay," she said as an end to that conversation. Silence crept in again, and she felt the need to think of something else to ask, if only to get her professor talking again. "What were you like in school, sir?"

"Utterly miserable," he laughed sarcastically.

She let out a long breath. "Okay..." she decided she had chosen the wrong line of questioning. "Never mind then," she sighed. Then, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, sir," she kept on, looking at him again, hoping that once, just once, he'd meet her gaze again.

"Yes?"

"When you bit me...why didn't you just kill me? And why didn't I become a vampire as well?"

"I did not kill you because once I kill the first time, it will be a downward spiral. Even in my bloodlust I knew that. And you did not become a vampire because, for you to become a vampire, you would have to drink of my vampiric blood while dangling between life and death...and for you...to be a vampire would not be a good fate."

She nodded. "Of course, sir. I was just....curious. And confused."

"The very last thing you need right now is to have to learn to cope with vampirism."

Padma nodded again, distracted. "Of course, sir. I know that," she said, then went silent for a short moment. "But why did you decide to do that, Professor?"

"Do what?"

"Become a vampire."

Snape looked down. "I knew that Tyrie was a vampire...and when we decided to marry...I felt it was only appropriate to make such a commitment."

"You love her then," said Padma quietly.

He blinked back what might possibly be a tear, though the Potions Master would never admit it. "Yes...very much."

Padma felt tears falling down her cheeks. "And I've gone and mussed everything up," she choked back, swallowing her tears away. "I really am sorry, sir."

"I could have stopped you," he responded hollowly.

She shook her head, not able to think of anything with which to answer. Wiped hurriedly at her wet cheeks, she tried. "Why didn't you?

He furrowed his brow. "I would like to be able to say that it was as a result of thinking with my instincts...but I am not sure that is the case."

Padma sucked in a breath. "Oh. Well then what -" she stopped suddenly. Snape frowned, wondering what could possibly be wrong with her besides the obvious. She tried to choose her words carefully. "If it wasn't just instinct, what was it?"

He sighed. "A conscious decision perhaps?"

"You know that's not what I meant. Why must you always be so difficult?"

"Fine," he said quickly. "I wanted you Padma, because you are a very attractive young woman. I was already thinking with my baser instincts when you came on to me, and that only made it easier to do what, in retrospect, I see was amoral."

She drew in a breath, though she was satisfied with his answer. First, he called her by her first name once again, and secondly, he actually answered a question. "You - you think I'm attractive?"

He gave her a withering look. "Of course I do. I would have to be blind or just plain stupid not to."

Padma was quiet. Licking her lips, she looked away. "Oh...I always assumed everyone saw Parvati as the attractive one, and I was just the one with her nose in a book."

"Well then, if people cannot look beyond a predilection towards books, they are fools."

She went quiet again. "Thank you...Professor, is the potion almost ready?"

"Oh," he slipped up. "Yes..." he had almost forgotten about it, which signaled that there truly was a first time for everything.

Padma nodded.

Snape extinguished the fire beneath the cauldron magically, and dipped a ladle into it. He brought it out and poured it into a mug. He held it out to Padma. "You may wish to wait a moment."

She nodded, reaching out and wrapping one hand around the mug, on top of her professor's. She looked up at him. He slipped his hand out from under hers and caught her eye for only a moment before looking away. "Well, whenever you are ready."

Padma's hands started shaking. "Professor, what will happen if - if I am pregnant?"

"Apparently that is for you to decide," he said sharply, annoyed at having to revisit an earlier conversation.

"Oh, right. I forgot. We talked about that already. I'm sorry," she rambled, obviously stalling from having to drink the potion. "A lot of things are going on in my mind right now."

"Any you wish to share?"

She looked up at him. "Just the fact that I may be pregnant not enough for you?"

Snape scowled. "I was attempting to be...kind," now he sneered. "Forgive me."

Padma looked down, shaking her head. "Here goes nothing..." she lifted the mug to her lips and swallowed it in two gulps. Then, she handed him the now empty mug. Snape took the mug and just stared at Padma, waiting.

Padma licked her lips to catch the few drops of the potion that lingered. "What?" she asked, looking up at her professor, who was staring intently at her.

He blinked and turned away. "Nerves," muttered Snape.

"When will I know?" Padma asked curiously. She began to feel a slight tingling in her legs.

"Soon enough, I suppose. No more than an hour."

Padma nodded, swallowing hard as she realized that she was beginning to lose feeling in her legs, and the numbness was rising up to her waist. "So, if I don't feel any change, then I'm not pregnant, right?"

He nodded shortly. "Yes. I did explain that, correct?"

"Yes, you did," she seemed very much distracted. "This could take as long as an hour?" she continued, concentrating very hard on keeping her balance. Everything below her waist was completely numb.

"It should take no longer," said Snape, folding his arms across his chest.

Padma nodded. "Alright," she said, refusing to move. Even one step, she feared, would cause her to fall, and that was the last thing she wanted. She had made her decision, and she was sticking to it. Professor Snape could never know. All of a sudden, the numbness disappeared, and she regained feeling in her legs. "Nothing yet, sir," she shrugged, looking up at him. She took a step backward on shaky legs and began to pace the room.

Snape frowned.

Padma stopped, turning to look at her professor. "Why are you frowning? I thought you'd be happy that it appears I'm not pregnant."

"There is still time to be proven wrong."

She sighed. "I suppose so. What do we do while we wait?"

"Is there anything you wish to do?" he asked. "You can always go back to the Ravenclaw common room."

Padma raised an eyebrow suggestively. "Do you really want to know the answer to that question?"

"Do I?"

She simply shrugged and hopped up onto the front desk, swinging her legs back and forth childishly. Snape was glad to note that she could feel her legs. The rest of the hour was spent encased in silence.

After casting a glance at the clock on the wall, Snape looked over at Padma. "You felt no changes?

She shook her head. "None at all."

"You are sure."

"Yes, sir. I'm absolutely fine," she stressed again.

Snape let out a small sigh of relief. "Well then, do you wish to return to your room?"

"Of course, that would be for the best," said Padma, sliding down off of the desk. "Congratulations then, sir. You have nothing at all to worry about," she gave him a sad smile, walking to the back table to retrieve her bag. "Good night, sir."

She stopped silently at the door again and turned around to look at her professor, hoping to meet his gaze. He looked up at the same time, and their eyes met. Padma pushed back the tears in her eyes. Snape sighed, stood from his position behind his desk and walked up to her, embracing her. Padma wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his robe. She held back the tears and prayed to whoever was up there listening that her professor couldn't tell that she was lying.

Snape stroked her hair, thinking that she regretted the entire evening. Or, at least, felt guilty about it. "Padma...if you wish for me to have you forget all of this now..."

She pulled away, blinking. Looking up into his eyes, she shivered slightly at their nearness. "Uh - no, thank you," she swallowed away the tears. "I - I don't think that'd by such a great idea - I mean, I don't want to forget any of this."

He frowned at her, a little confused. "But then...what is upsetting you?"

Padma shook her head, blinking back the tears again. "Nothing. I'm not upset," she said again, almost as a reassurance to herself. "Not at all."

"You are lying, Padma."

She met his gaze, trying to hold it and still sound truthful and confident. "Are you going to take a potion to forget it happened?

He looked away. "If you do not, I do not think it would be prudent."

"Oh," said Padma, looking away as well and clearly not expecting that answer. "Well then..." she removed her arms from around him reluctantly.

He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure that you are alright?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm fine," Padma's eyes traveled to stare at his hand resting on her shoulder. "I just assumed that you would take the potion is all," she continued, shaking her head.

"I cannot very well go through the year wondering why you are acting so differently in class, now can I?"

She sighed. "Oh yes...the rest of the year. Of course. I suppose not."

"I might feel the need to report it to someone," Snape smirked.

Padma was clearly distracted. "Huh?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "It is of no concern." Snape studied Padma's face very carefully. "Are you sure that you are alright?" he asked again, knowing for certain that something else was going on in her head.

Her face paled. "Yes, I'm just tired," she said, reaching up to push a strand of hair behind her ear.

Snape wasn't convinced. "Of course."

Padma bit her lower lip and looked down at her feet. "Well, good night, Professor. I'll see you in class tomorrow, I'm sure," she said, biting back to urge to say something entirely different.

Snape wanted to stop her from leaving, but chose not to press the issue at hand any further. The Ravenclaw leaned up, letting her eyes drift shut, and kissed her professor on the corner of the mouth, fighting the desire to let more happen, but knowing it never will again.

The Potions Master leaned forward and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Please do not make this harder than it already is going to be," he requested quietly.

Padma nodded, a little hurt. "Of course," she agreed, backing away just a step. "Good night, Severus."

"Good night...Padma."

She nodded, turning to the door and opening it just a little. Then, she walked out. After making it only a few steps away from the now closed door, Padma paused, looking back over her shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry, Severus," she whispered quietly, letting tears trickle down her cheeks once again. She continued down the corridor.

Severus Snape watched Padma walk away, and then, without a word, walked back up to his desk and slumped down into a seated position on it, his eyes fixed at the wooden door she had just walked out of.