Can't Decide to Love or Hate You

"Come on, Ginny. We're going to be late to breakfast."

"I'm not hungry. Go without me."

Riley sighed quietly to herself as she looked down on her friend. "Gin, I'm not going to just leave you like this. What's wrong?"

The redhead peeked an eye open before pulling a pillow over her head. "What makes you think something is wrong?" she mumbled.

"Oh, I don't know," Riley said her voice dripping with sarcasm, "maybe it's the fact that you went to bed early last night without a word to anyone, and that you awoke with the same silence. And the fact that it looks like you've cried all night seems a bit suspicious. No, wait, I'm certain I heard you crying for a big portion of the night."

Silence filled the room as she watched Ginny grow still at her words. Sitting on Ginny's bed, Riley put her head in her hands for a moment. She felt a migraine coming on. It was probably best to give Ginny some privacy, but the last time she saw her like this was when Harry broke up with her.

"Ginny," Riley said with comfort, done with the sarcasm, "Please tell me what happened. I really hate to see you this upset."

The silence continued, and Riley almost gave up when Ginny slowly rolled onto her back. Tear marks streaked down her face.

"H-Harry kissed me," Ginny forced out while drying her tears.

Riley's face twisted in confusion. "And you're crying why?"

Ginny's bottom lip trembled. "Because Draco saw."

Riley's expression didn't change. "Once again, and you're crying why?"

"Because I'm a blind, daft loser who can't see what's good for her even if it slaps her in the face," Ginny muttered as she hugged her pillow.

Realization slowly hit Riley. "But I thought you and Draco are just friends," she questioned slowly.

"We were-I mean we are- I mean-I don't know," Ginny mumbled into her pillow. "The best way I can explain us is that he's always had strong feelings for me and I was too stubborn and afraid to admit my own feelings."

"How strong of feelings?"

Ginny shook her head. "It doesn't matter," she said as she looked her friend in the face. "I fucked up. I had my change with me-several actually-and I messed it all up."

"Well," Riley said hesitantly, debating over her words, "there's still Harry."

Ginny sniffed lightly as she shook her head. "But I don't want to be with Harry. I want to be with Draco."

"Then why were you kissing Harry?"

"Riley," Ginny said in an intimidating voice, "you're really not helping here."

"Sorry," Riley said as she pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Ginny slowly shook her head as she sat up. "No, I got myself into this. I'm sure there's something I can do to fix things with Draco."

Riley got off Ginny's bed and watched her do the same. "Have any ideas on what you're going to do?"

Ginny bit her bottom lip as she ran a brush through her hair and grabbed some lip gloss. "No clue," she said as she gathered her books. She paused a second at her mirror to apply a glamour spell to conceal her puffy, red eyes.

"You should probably talk to Harry though, and at least set him straight," Riley suggested before they left the room. "Or at least give him a swift kick in the balls for ruining everything."

Ginny snorted into her hand as they walked to the stairwell to the common room. "Riley!" she said with laughter.

"What?" she responded with a faked innocence. "Okay, fine. Just try to talk some common sense into that boy and hope for the best."

Ginny nodded and grew silent as they entered the common room when they walked by Ron and Hermione. The two were talking quietly together, both stopping suddenly at the sight of Ginny. Immediately, Ron got up and looked to approach Ginny, but Hermione quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him back, whispering something into his ear while shaking her head.

"What do you think that was all about?" Riley asked as the two girls made it safely out of the common room.

"Harry probably told on me like he always seems to," Ginny said with a bit of annoyance. "Whenever something doesn't seem to go his way with me, he alerts Ron about it, the whole time making me look like the bad person."

Riley gave a short laugh under her breath. "Pathetic," she muttered. "Why the hell did you put up with that? If I were you, I would have run to Malfoy a long time ago."

Ginny stopped in her footsteps. "Maybe I don't deserve Draco at all," she said with sudden worry. "Maybe this is all some wake up call to reality. I've treated him no where as good as he has treated me-I shouldn't have been shocked that he gave up on me. If I was him, there was no way I would have put up with me for so long."

Riley quickly shook her head. "You deserve someone who treats you great," she said. "If Malfoy really is that great, then he didn't give up completely on you. I mean, when hasn't Malfoy been known to act all...Slytherin like when a bad situation arises? I'm sure he freaked out when he saw you kissing Harry, resorted to being the angry, cold Slytherin we all know him to be, and left in great confusion over what the hell happened. You can't expect him to have no interest in you what-so-ever just because he didn't let you explain yourself or show any other emotion."

"I know, I know," Ginny mumbled. "But what if he really is finished with me?"

"I don't think that's possible," Riley said as they continued their path to the Great Hall. "If you really love someone, you can't just get over them in one night."

"This is Draco Malfoy though," Ginny pointed out. "Before this year I always assumed he didn't even have a heart."

"And last year I would have danced the polka with Snape before even thinking of you two falling in love."

Ginny's heart thumped wildly at Riley's chosen words. "Love?" she repeated weakly.

"Well yeah, doesn't Malfoy love you?"

"Yes, but I mean, I just realized last night that I want him, not Harry. To say I'm in love is just-"

"True?" Riley said, this time stopping her to look in her in the face. "I'm sure this is all sudden for you Ginny, but this whole time whether you realized it or not, you wanted Malfoy over someone you loved since you were ten years old. If that's not love, I don't know what is."

"I-I know, but-"

"No buts, Ginny," Riley ordered as she pulled on her friend's hand to get her moving again. "You even admitted to yourself that you are a blind daft. No one would go through all of this over some guy they just flat out liked, or even lusted."

Ginny mindlessly let her friend drag her to a walking pace. She knew what her true feelings were, despite the sudden impulse to deny them. How could she ignore the butterflies whenever she catches a glimpse of him or how her skin tingles at his touch?

Once the two neared the entrance, Ginny stopped while Riley continued to walk to the table. She had a clear view of the Great Hall, and though neither boy saw her, she saw that Harry and Draco were both at breakfast. Sighing quietly to herself, she quickly followed her friend to their seats, all the while forcing herself to look at the floor.

She felt his eyes on her when she sat down next to Riley and Christy, and sneaking a glance to her right, she indeed saw Harry staring at her. The last time she saw him was when he ran to her side after Draco left her last night, but she immediately made him go away so she could be alone. She was curious on how Harry would react to her this morning, but his facial expression wasn't an angry one that matched Ron who shortly joined the table with Hermione, but he definitely wanted to talk to her, maybe to get answers or sort things out. He gave her a small wink and a smile, reassuring that he still wanted her.

Ginny almost rolled her eyes at his expression before looking away. How could he go around winking at her when just last night she said to Draco that kissing Harry meant nothing? She started to eat her cereal but paused. Something felt amiss. She pondered for a moment over what it was, and then realized, that for the first time she couldn't feel his stare on her.

Looking up at the Slytherin table, she frowned in disappointment to see that Draco was not looking at her. In fact, he seemed to be doing a very good job at putting interest into a ditzy blonde sitting next to him that was in Ginny's year. A pang of jealousy hit her hard as she watched the girl fawning over some words Draco was whispering into her ear.

Ginny tried to force her eyes away, but couldn't. The girl was leaning into Draco very suggestively as Draco smirked at her, making the girl giddier than ever. Ginny's stomach dropped when she saw Draco twirl a long blonde lock around his fingers.

"Hey, Ginny," a male voice said behind her.

Ginny broke out of her trance and looked behind to see Harry standing there. She knew she should talk to Harry, but he picked the worst timing. "What do you want, Harry?" she said wearily.

Harry's smile dropped at her words. "I was wondering if we could take a walk and maybe work things out about last night."

Ginny slowly nodded, realizing that she was about to push The-Boy-Who-Lived away for someone who was clearly over her. "Yeah, we do need to talk," she said with little enthusiasm.

"Great!" Harry said, regaining a hopeful smile. "Well, we better go now so we have time before class."

Ginny went to gather her books but Harry beat her to it. Ginny gave a small sigh at Harry holding her books, but ignored it. As they were walking out together, Ginny stole a quick glance at the Slytherin table. The blonde girl was still giggling and flirting, oblivious to the fact that Draco was no longer paying attention to her. Cold chills went down Ginny's spine at Draco's hard glare towards her and Harry. Quickly looking away, she looked at Harry and focused on what exactly she was going to say.

"So," Harry said as soon as they exited the Great Hall, "what did you want to talk about?"

Sudden nerves hit her stomach. She was really hoping for a bit more time to think about what exactly she was going to say to Harry, because right now she was coming up empty handed.

"Us," she said shortly.

Harry gave her a small, confused smile. "And?" he asked, as if there was a further explanation besides the obvious.

"And..." Ginny said, reaching for words. "I want to talk about us and...Draco."

The smile was wiped off Harry's face as he stopped the both of them towards the end of the hallway. "What about Malfoy?" he said in a low voice.

Ginny frowned at Harry; sick of trying to treat this matter softly to lessen hurt him. "Harry, don't act stupid. You heard what I said to Draco last night."

Harry's face hardened at the reference of last night. "We all say stuff we don't mean, Ginny."

"But I meant it, Harry. When I said kissing you didn't mean anything, I meant it."

Harry stared at her in silence. "You can stop playing hard to get now, Gin," he said in a low voice. "I already apologized about hurting you in the first place, so you can stop pretending you don't want me."

Ginny stared at Harry in shock. It was like talking to a brick wall. "Harry, I don't want you!" she said sternly.

"Come on, Gin. You've liked me since I first came to Hogwarts! You're telling me that after all these years, you miraculously don't want me anymore?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" she nearly yelled. The size of his ego was starting to annoy her greatly.

"I don't believe this," Harry said as he shook his head in denial. "What, are you going to tell me next that you secretly want Malfoy instead?"

"Well, it's not so much secretly-"

"You have got to be kidding me!" Harry said loudly as he ran a hand through his hair. Students that were leaving breakfast looked over and stared at the two.

"Harry, not so loud," Ginny pleaded, not wanting to gather an audience.

"Okay, so you like Malfoy, I can deal with that," he said, reassuring himself. "But I can't just stand by and watch you go to him. There has to be something I can do to win you back."

Ginny scowled at his words. "Harry, what are you not getting?" she asked angrily. "There will be no more of us, so please just move on with your life."

Harry gaped at her as the small crowd murmured anxiously amongst each other.

"What is going on here?" a voice asked in the back of the crowd. A few students parted to make way for the Head Girl to move to the front. Hermione looked at Harry and Ginny in surprise that it was them who were causing a scene, and Ron was not far behind.

"What's going on here?" Ron said, repeating Hermione's words, but in an angrier, more confused manner.

"Nothing that is any of your business," Ginny snapped.

"It is too my business!" Ron yelled back, already red in the face. "You're my sister and Harry is my best friend!"

"You don't see me sticking my nose in your love life, so get out of mine!" she yelled furiously. It always annoyed her when Ron played the overprotective brother role, but she couldn't take it anymore.

Ron paused for a second to gather her words. "What's going on with your love life?" he asked, oblivious to the part where she told him to stay out.

"You know, probably a lot less if you butted out a long time ago!" Ginny snapped.

"Malfoy is what's going on," Harry answered, ignoring Ginny.

Ginny groaned as she saw Ron's face grow angry just like Harry's at the mention of Draco's name. "What has he done now?" he asked with a growl.

Ginny glared at her brother. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Ron started as he snapped his eyes over to Ginny's, "that Malfoy seems to be ruining everything between you and Harry."

Ginny gasped at Ron's comment. "That is not true!"

"The hell it isn't! Take last night for example! You were getting along perfectly fine with Harry, and Malfoy had to just fucking waltz by and ruin everything! Whenever you and Harry have the chance of getting back together he has to ruin it!"

"Ron! That is not how it happened, and even if it did it wouldn't matter! That oh so perfect moment with Harry I had made me realize I can not be with him, so will you just fucking leave it alone?"

"No I will not until you give me a damn good reason of why you aren't with Harry!"

Ginny forced herself to hold onto whatever calmness she had left in her. She knew that things could be easily when her temper got the best of her.

"I don't owe you any explanations, Ronald," Ginny said with a forced calm, although her face was still red.

"Well, you at least owe Harry one!"

Ginny glanced at Harry who has been silent during her and Ron's fight. "I don't owe Harry anything," she told Ron, never taking her eyes off Harry. "But I did try to tell him that I'm not interested. He just won't accept it and move on."

The crowd now almost circled them, but Ginny ignored them. She was sure that Draco was one of the students watching her, but at the moment she didn't care.

Ron studied her silently. "This is all because of Malfoy, isn't it?" he questioned Ginny. "You're not interested in Harry because Malfoy has you under some spell."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Draco doesn't have me under any spell, you idiot," she snapped.

"He's probably using his sick, twisted ways to make you deny Harry!" Ron continued, completely ignoring Ginny.

"Will you shut up?" Ginny yelled, making Ron and every one else go silent. "Is it so hard to believe that me denying Harry for Draco is my own doing?"

Ron looked slightly alarmed at Ginny's announcement that Draco was indeed very much alarmed, but for once couldn't find the right words to express his feelings.

"It's kind of funny, isn't it?"

Ginny twirled around to face Harry. "What's funny?" she asked in confusion.

His green eyes narrowed at her. "That you're pushing me away for someone that isn't even around to claim you."

Ginny's eyes scanned the crowd at Harry's words before looking back at him. She knew that Draco was not going to come to the rescue anymore.

"That's because I messed up," she retorted. "I had my chance and now I'm too late."

"So, you're giving up another chance with me, for a guy you'll have no chance with?"

Ginny eyed Harry slowly. "I couldn't be with you knowing that I had much stronger feelings for Draco, even if he wants nothing to do with me."

"The hell you couldn't!" Ron yelled, breaking the almost civil conversation between Harry and Ginny. "Your feelings for...for-," Ron paused with anger as he glared daggers over Ginny's shoulder.

Ginny immediately turned around, already knowing what she was going to see. Only one thing could make Ron any angrier than he already was.

Draco was leaning against the wall coolly with his arms crossed against his chest as if this was the most entertaining event ever. Surrounding him were his Slytherin peers and that ditzy blonde that was with him earlier.

"Draco," Ginny said quietly as they locked eyes. She didn't even see him there, and didn't know how long he had been around.

"You were saying, Weasley?" Draco said with a smirk as he ignored Ginny.

Ron took a few steps up to him before Hermione could hold him back. "Does this humor you, Malfoy?" he asked before turning on Ginny. "See why I get so angry? You're pouring your heart out over some creep who laughs at your pain!"

"Along with how dirt poor she is," Draco added nastily.

His Slytherin 'friends' hollowed in laughter as Ginny glared at him. She knew that this was all one of his famous acts that he was pretending to hate her. Maybe he did hate her, but to go from loving her one day to insulting her wasn't right.

Ignoring him, she looked at Ron who looked like he was ready to hit Draco. "Forget him, Ron. He's doing this on purpose to get to me."

Even though it took a moment to do so, Ron pulled his eyes back to Ginny's and slowly shook his head. "You have control over your feelings for Malfoy," he said painfully slow. "You can forget about Malfoy right now and be with Harry if you really wanted to."

"Don't be an idiot, Ron!" Ginny snapped. "You can't help who you fall in love with!"

Ron's face fell at her words, Hermione gasped, Harry dropped Ginny's books in shock, and Ginny stopped breathing. The crowd was still in anticipation. She couldn't believe she just let that slip. She reluctantly looked over at Draco who has yet to make any kind of reaction.

He was staring at her, standing up straight, his eyes seemed to widen in a bit of shock before he masked his face. "You're what?" he asked slowly in a low voice.

Ginny gulped before moving closer towards him. "I-I tried to tell you earlier-"

"Oh, was this before or after you mauled Potter?" Draco snapped.

Ginny bit her trembling lip and ignored the trio behind her. "Draco, I'm sorry about that. It was a mistake."

"No," he said as he shook his head. "No, Ginny. We were a mistake."

Ginny's heart dropped at his words. "You don't mean that."

"Why wouldn't I?" he snapped. "A guy can only get slapped in the face so many times before he just accepts the fact it's never going to happen." He paused for a moment to settle down his voice. "We are never going to happen. You decided that for both of us."

Ginny quickly shook her head. "No I didn't! You don't know what I decided on because you won't give me the chance to tell you!"

"Why should I give you a chance?

"Because if you really loved me, you would."

Before Draco had the chance to respond, the bell rang, signaling that morning classes were about to begin. "Everyone," Hermione said loudly, "back to class before I start taking away house points!"

The crowd groaned loudly with disappointment before they slowly walked away to their destinations. Draco's group hesitated at Hermione's command, but since Draco was ignoring them, they reluctantly left. After a minute passed, the only ones left in the hallway were Hermione, Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Draco.

"Come on, guys," Hermione said as she nudged Ron and Harry. "We're going to be late for class."

Ron shook his head, not taking his eyes off of Draco and Ginny who were standing still and staring at each other. "Not until Ginny leaves also."

Hermione stared at the two also before glancing at Harry. He too was staring at them like Ron was, but in a defeated look. She shook her head slowly before moving in-between her two best friends.

"Harry, Ron," Hermione said in her motherly tone, "we have to go to Potions now or Snape will give all three of us detentions."

"The same goes for Malfoy and I don't see you trying to make him leave," Ron said as he stalled.

Hermione sighed quietly as she watched the Ginny and Draco, knowing that they deserved time alone to work things out. She didn't necessarily agree with Ginny's choice, but it was what she decided and she respected that.

"Yeah, well Snape likes Malfoy better. Now come on before I ban you from you next Quidditch practice."

That caught Ron's attention. "You wouldn't!" he said as he turned his back on his sister.

Hermione forced herself not to smile. No, she would never do that, but that was the only thing that would distract Ron. "Try me."

Ron's eyes widened at the thought of no Quidditch before he quickly took off for the dungeons. Hermione went to follow him when she noticed that Harry was still standing there in shock. Frowning at how pathetic her best friend looked, she silently grabbed his arm and forced him to walk with her.

"It will be okay, Harry," she said with reassurance as they followed Ron. "I heard Lavender still likes you..."

Ginny silently reminded herself to thank Hermione later. She and Draco were finally alone, but yet neither of them have moved or spoken.

Draco finally said, "What makes you think that I still love you?"

"Just the fact that if you really loved someone, you can't get over them that quickly," she said as she looked down at her hands, "no matter how much you try to hate them or by using other people to get over them."

A small smirk appeared on Draco's face. "Are you referring to that airhead I was sitting next to at breakfast?"

Ginny looked up at him and gave him a small nod.

"I was hoping you saw that," he said as his smirk grew wider.

Ginny's mouth opened with surprise before she playfully hit Draco in the arm. "You planned that?"

"You should go to class," Draco said, purposely ignoring her.

She glanced at her watch and saw that she was already five minutes late. "Crap!" she said as she went to gather her books on the ground. "McGonagall is definitely going to give me a detention this time."

As soon as she had her books in hand, she straightened up and faced Draco who was still standing. "Talk to you later?" she asked instead of stating.

Draco stared at her from a moment before slowly nodding. "Yeah," he said, "we'll talk later."

Ginny gave him a small, warm smile before she turned and headed for the main staircase. Draco stood still and watched her until she was out of sight before slowly walking to the dungeons, hoping that Snape did favor him as much as Hermione claimed he did.