So Long and Goodnight

Sirius Black and James Potter stood looking out of the open window of the drawing room at 12 Grimmauld Place. The room was darkening as dusk fell but neither man seemed perturbed by this.

"Sirius", James said gravely turning to his friend, "We both know the situation here."

"The situation?" Sirius eyes flickered over his friend's face, questioning him. "What situation?"

"Sirius, mate, Voldemort's after me. Me, Lilly and Harry. He wants rid of us, Sirius."

"Is that what you and Dumbledore were talking about?"

James nodded solemnly. "Dumbledore's got a plan though."

"He would have, of course," Sirius let a faint glimmer of a smile creep onto his face. "Dumbledore will make sure you and Lilly and the kid are alright, James. He wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"So the plan is that we have a secret keeper."

"And I take it, that's going to be Dumbledore" Or me, he thought to himself.

"No, we decided Wormtail should be it," James said bluntly. "After all", he carried on amidst Sirius' spluttering protests, "Voldemort would never think of Wormtail would he? I mean, Dumbledore, or...or you, well that would be top of his list but not Wormtail."

"But Prongs, I mean are you sure? C'mon Wormtail! Do you really think he could hold his own against Voldemort, if the worst came to the worst? This is Wormtail, we're talking about here."

"I trust Wormtail," said James simply.

Sirius looked out into the fading sunlight as the day died and turned slowly into night. His head felt thick and heavy but there was a faint inkling of an idea shaping inside his head.

"Look, if you're gonna use Wormtail as your secret keeper, well, I got an idea that could make sure that you, Lilly and Harry are doubly safe."

James looked at him suspiciously, "Go on," he said.

"It's a bit complicated but it'll work out trust me. All we need are a few ingredients and a bit of nerve. And let's face it mate, we've both got that in spades."

***

"I feel like we're at Hogwarts again," muttered James, stirring the thick concotion within the cauldron. "This makes me think of all these things we used to get up to."

It was a couple of days later and James and Sirius were putting the plan into action.

"Yeah," said Sirius, smiling fondly. "Those were great times, weren't they? It's a shame we had to grow up really."

"Well, you certainly haven't," laughed James.

Sirius grinned ruefully and replied, "Prongs, my old friend, there's plenty of time to settle down in boring old domesticy. I'm still young, I've got plenty of time left. You-know-who or no you-know-who."

"Yeah, well..." James let his response trail off. "I am grateful for this, y'know."

"I've never been afraid of a bit of danger. Besides you're my friend. Been together through thick and thin, you and me."

"Just hope it works."

"It will." Sirius peered down into the murky contents of the cauldron. "Looks about ready to me, what d'you think?"

"Yeah, I'd so say so. You got the goblets?"

"Here you go," Sirius passed two pewter goblets to James. "Be careful now, don't spill any."

"You sound like my mum," James put one of the goblets down and proceeded to ladle potion carefully into the other one. "Right, take this," he said, when the goblet was full enough, and passed it to Sirius.

Sirius took his goblet and stood, waiting for James to finish filling his goblet. "Ready?" he asked him.

"Uh, yes. Wait," he interjected as Sirius prepared to take a sip, "I, uh, don't think we should do it in front of each other. One of us should go somewhere else."

"Um, okay," Sirius arched an eyebrow at James quizzically. "I'll go out into the pantry, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Oh no, wait a minute, said James, almost laughing. "We've forgotten a vital ingredient."

"What?"

"The hairs." James reached up and pulled a hair out of his untidy tresses. "It's the most important bit, don't know how I forgot it" He handed the hair to Sirius who did the same.

"Well, if that's everything and I pretty much hope that's everything, than I'm off to transform." Sirius turned and loped lazily off to the pantry, shutting the door behind him.

Left in the kitchen, James added the hair to the potion. The potion frothed a great deal and James watched it in amusement as it changed colour to- black. Well, what else would it be? He took a deep breath and took a sip of the potion.

He felt a change come over him. He could not see what was happening but looking down at his hands, he could see them transform, becoming Sirius' hands. He took in a sharp breath as he watched what was happening to him.

And then-

"You ready?" James heard Sirius call out from beyond the closed door.

"Yeah, come on out," James answered him.

The door opened and James felt a jolt as he saw his own face smiling at him as Sirius re-entered the kitchen. Sirius, in James form, swaggered across the room so that eventually he was face to face with James.

Sirius stared at himself and a smirk appeared across his (well, James') lips. "Damn, I'm good looking, aren't I?" he remarked as his eyes travelled over his own face. "Not bad at all".

"Looks aren't everything, Padfoot," said James and he smiled. On Sirius' face, it looked lazily handsome, the kind of smile that would send girls into a swoon.

"You should know. Still could've been worse. Could've got Snivillus's face!"

Both men laughed.

"Right, lets fill these bottles," said Sirius as James produced two glass phials. "It's every hour isn't it?"

"Yep," replied James, filling a phial up with his potion and replacing the stopper. "Dire consequences otherwise."

Sirius chuckled and did the same as James.

"So what happens now?" said James, more a statement than a question. "I mean I can't stay here as it'll lead Voldemort to the headquarters".

"Don't worry, I know of somewhere you can go," Sirius told him warmly. "I'll take you there and then leave. C'mon go get your broom." He turned on his heel to go.

James didn't move. He stood as if rooted to the spot and then said, "I can't do this."

Sirius turned back to him. "What?"

"I can't go through with this. I mean, I haven't even told Lily what we're planning to do. And I can't help feeling that I'm abandoning her."

Sirius sighed. "But you're protecting her, Prongs. Her and Harry. If Wormtail breaks the charm then he will tell Voldemort the whereabouts of you. And you'll be a long way away from Lily and Harry. So when Voldemort come after James Potter..."

"Yeah, I'll know, I can take him on and Lily and Harry won't be involved." He ran a hand through his unruly hair, messing it up even more.

"Because it will be Sirius Black who is with them, not James Potter. It'll only be for a short amount of time."

He placed a hand on James shoulder. "It's going to work out fine. You'll see." His eyes rested on James for a moment and years of unspoken emotion ran through him. He knew that if James asked him to die for him he would. That was the depth of his loyalty to him. And maybe something more, he didn't know...

"So this is how the plan goes," he said removing his hand from James shoulder. "We've told everyone I'm going to be your secret keeper but are secretly going to use Wormtail instead. And then..."

"We swap places so if Voldemort does catch on about us using Wormtail, than he's going to come after me. And Lily and Harry are safe." James breathed, "Yeah I know the drill.

"You should do by now," said Sirius affectionately. "It's all gonna be fine."

"Shall we get our brooms then?" said James sounding more optimistic than he felt.

"Yep, let's go." Sirius led the way as the two men exited the kitchen.

James had been in hiding for precisely a week at the end of which he had arranged with Sirius that he would go to check up on Wormtail.

And yet when he arrived at the place where Wormtail was hiding and found he was not there he was unnerved. There had been no sign of a struggle, it didn't seem as if Wormtail had left there under duress.

He knew what he had to do.

He set off, on his flying motorbike, to Godric's Hollow, where Sirius was hiding with Lily and Harry. Deep down inside, he knew something terrible had happened. But when he landed, even when he saw for himself the destroyed house, he refused to believe it.

James stood looking at the ruins of the house and he felt a great wave of nausea sweep over him. He felt like he was breaking in two, that his body was being snapped in half. It couldn't have, it really couldn't have. But it had, the evidence was in front of him. Lily, Harry, Sirius...James dropped his head into his hands and felt hot tears pierce the back of his eyes. If only he hadn't swapped places, why had he been such an idiot?

"Sirius?" James heard a familiar voice next to him but he didn't look up. He just wanted the darkness to envelop him, to slip into it and never have to face the world again. What world? His world had gone.

"Sirius," said the voice again and James felt himself look up. His bleary eyes focussed on the face in front of him. It was Hagrid, carrying a bundle.

"Hagrid," he said hoarsely. "Hagrid...they're dead, Hagrid."

He desperately wanted Hagrid to deny it, to tell him it hadn't happened but nothing like that emerged out of Hagrid's mouth. Instead Hagrid looked at him, ashen- faced as if he was still in complete shock.

"It... it looks like it. 'Course we'll 'ave to get Dumbledore to confirm it."

"So there may still be a chance...that they're alive?" James hardly dared to hope.

Hagrid shook his head. "Not much of one, from what I've seen in there. I'm sorry mate."

James felt himself begin to shake as the blood drained from his face. His beautiful Lily, who he adored above all others...dead. And Harry, dead as well, he could hardly believe it. And Sirius...he must have kept up the pretence of being James to the end, he died for him. James could hardly bear to think of these things and yet he knew he had to, he had to face up to them.

The bundle in Hagrid's arms began to move. A noise came from it. A baby's cry!

Hagrid began slowly rocking the bundle and whispered, "Shhh, Harry, shhh," gently.

James's heart skipped a beat. "Is that...is that...?" he said pointing to the bundle. He could hardly form the words.

Hagrid caught his gist and nodded gravely. "Yeah, poor little mite. 'e's still alive. Don't know how it 'appened, meself. Dumbledore sent me ter collect 'im."

James reached out a hand and pulled back one of the blankets. Inside, he glimpsed a tuft of jet-black hair.

"Harry," he whispered. My son, thought James. He's still alive. He was not going to let him slip away from him. "Harry," he repeated again. He had to get Harry somehow.

"Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather after all," James said urgently to Hagrid.

"Sorry, Sirius, mate," replied Hagrid. "Got me orders from Dumbledore, see."

"Surely Dumbledore wouldn't mind if I took him instead. I'll look after 'im, you know I will."

"That may be, but Dumbledore told me ter bring 'im and that's what I'm going to do."

A struggle was going on inside James head. He could tell Hagrid the truth, that he was James not Sirius. He would do it, if it meant getting Harry back. But would Hagrid believe him? And would it lead to James getting Harry back anyway?

He tried a last ditch attempt. "I could hide him away. You know what it'll be like, Hagrid after tonight. He'll need protection. I can give that to him. James and Lily, they would have wanted me to take him."

But Hagrid wouldn't budge. "Dumbledore says that 'e can provide security and protection for 'arry and I believe 'im. There's no better protection for 'im then Dumbledore."

"Hagrid, please."

Hagrid only shook his head.

James could say no more. He knew Hagrid was right and yet...

"Where are you taking him?" he asked.

"Don' mean no offence, Sirius mate, but I wouldn' like ter say, not unless Dumbledore gives his permission. You don't know who might be listenin'"

James said nothing, he didn't argue. Instead he simply looked down at the sleeping child within the blankets.

"If you must...if you must take him, then at least have my motorbike," he said indicating Sirius' beloved bike that was lying on its side.

"Are you sure?" asked Hagrid observing the bike.

"Yes, I won't need it any more," said James, his voice thick with emotion. "Take it and... look after him, Hagrid," he added softly.

Hagrid nodded. James bent forward over the bundle of blankets and saw that Harry had a lightening

shaped scar. He extended a finger and ran it down the side of Harry's cheek.

"We best get going now, Sirius," said Hagrid, "Got ter get 'im out of here, before the muggles turn up."

James nodded without looking at Hagrid, and held up the bike for him. Hagrid climbed carefully on it, trying to keep Harry safe.

"Bye now, Sirius mate," said Hagrid looking at him with huge melancholy eyes, "Get some rest, it's been a shock."

James nodded and stepped back as the motorbike roared into life. It reverberated and rose into the air and into the night sky.

James felt his heart shatter as he watched the bike go and at last unable to control his emotions the tears came. His wife and best friend dead, now his son taken away from him. It was more than he could bear.

"So long and goodnight, Harry," he whispered in the direction the motorbike had gone. "I will get you back one day, I promise."