She Only Smokes When She Drinks

So you lit her cigarette.You're feeling pretty good.

You think you've got a shot. Most girls, you probably would.

Yeah, this is that kind of place. But she ain't that kind of girl.

You're reading it all wrong. Let me tell you about her.

"Men!" Hermione grumbled, before putting out her cigarette. She looked down and began to think ... where had it began to go wrong?

"Hermione?" asked a soft voice.

The twenty-two year old brunette looked up from her beer, blinking back tears. "Roger?"

"Oh, my God. I thought it was you. Wha..... what are you doing here?" The Hermione Granger he remembered from Hogwarts would have never been in a rough bar of all places.

"Nothing. Just sitting here. Nice seeing you again, Roger," she said brusquely, in an obvious brush off. She took another cigarette out of the pocket of her robes.

Roger looked at her in suprise. He pulled out his wand and whispered, "Inflamaro." He cigarette lit. She gave him a cool look with a raised eyebrow.

"Thanks." Her pointed look told him, once again, to go away.

He slowly walked over to the bar and ordered a butterbeer. He turned to see a familiar red-head.

"I am suprised she didn't bite your head off just now," the red head said.

"Yeah. I'm gonna try again in a few minutes," Roger said slowly.

The red head slowly chuckled. "Look, there's something you need to know."

She only smokes when she drinks. She only drinks now and then.

Now and then when she's tired of being let down by men.

You can give her a light, but it's not what you think.

Everybody knows, she only drinks alone, and she only smokes when she drinks

"She comes in here about once a month.. usually after a breakup or after a boy disappoints her... when she gets fed up with all males. She will smoke and drink and swear off all men. She'll drown her sorrows in a bottled hell before leaving to go home. And usually, at home, she'll cry herself to sleep, wondering why Mr. Right hasn't fallen in love with her yet."

Roger looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"

The red head nodded slowly before taking a swig of butterbeer.

"Does she just have bad taste or what?"

When the red head hesitated to answer, Roger stood up and walked back to Hermione's table. He barely missed the red head whisper, "No, it's just that Mr. Right has always been too obvious for her to grasp."

Did you ask her to dance? Let me guess, she told you no.

Gotta' take her someplace quiet, and see how far that goes.

Oh, don't take it all that hard when she smiles and turns you down.

For a complicated girl, she ain't that hard to figure out

"Miss Granger? A dance?" Roger asked kindly.

"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks anyway," she replied icily.

Roger sat down across from her. He reached out to hold her hand in the middle of the table. "Hermione, I know something is wrong. Let's go someplace quieter and talk.. I know a nice restaurant."

Hermione sighed deeply. She smiled at him sincerely. "Roger, it's not you. It's just that I am not really in the mood, OK?"

"Yeah, I guess I understand," Roger said reluctantly. He stood up, and went over to her. He took her hand a softly kissed it. "Your very nice and pretty. Don't give up on the love that you deserve. It'll come."

She gave him a smile as he turned and walked out of the bar.

"Ron? Ron?" she called.

The red head at the bar slowly turned around. "Ready, Hermione?"

She slowly nodded and stood up. he came over to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm going to take you home. I think Harry said he knew a single guy for you to date next Friday," Ron said to her slowly. "And don't worry. Ben was a jerk. You should have broke up with him a long time ago." He tried to ignore the tears in her eyes and pretended that she was his. His chest swelled in pain as Hermione sniffled softly.

"Ron, I am so glad your here for me. I love you."

"Love you too, 'Mione," he whispered. He kissed her forehead and gave her a tight hug before sticking out his wand for the Knight Bus.