Modern Romance

Don't hold on

Go get strong

Or don't you know

There's no modern romance

The moonlight cut through the trees, lighting the soft grass and the fresh snow that lay upon it. Remus' wool socked toes curled inside his shoes as a shiver ran up his spine. He buried his hands deeper in his pockets and sighed, watching the breath take flight. Anxiety began to build in the pit of his stomach.

He extracted the note again. The parchment had obviously been ripped hastily from an old scroll, the recipe for treacle fudge was still inked on the back of it. On the other side, however, was the note meant for him. It was written in simple black ink, that had smeared slightly from hasty owl post, before the letters had time to fully dry.

Remus- Tonight. The usual.

The usual, Remus knew, meant eleven o'clock in the park a few blocks from his house. The scrawling script worried him; it had obviously been written in a hurry. Perhaps she was just that desperate to see him? He rolled his eyes at his own presumptuous thoughts. Why would anyone be desperate to see him, Remus Jasper Lupin? And on that same note, why would anyone name their son Jasper?

There was a loud pop and then the sound of crunching snow met his ears. He turned and saw Lily walking towards him, red hair billowing behind her. She was an angel in white robes, too perfect to be real. Remus smiled at her, feeling his stomach flip flop as she came closer and closer.

Time, time is gone

It stops

Stops who it was

"Remus," she started, unusually breathless as she took the final step towards him.

He reached out, holding her around the middle. Her freckled cheeks turned slightly red as he did so, whether this was from his touch or the cold was anyone's guess.

She smelled sweetly of powdered sugar and honeysuckle, a scent that never failed to make Remus completely weak in the knees. His inner wolf longed to throw her over his shoulder and run as fast as he could back to his home, but the possibility of him actually succeeding in this was slim and the possibility of her not laughing at him for trying was even slimmer, so he did the next best thing. He kissed her as hard as he dared.

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck as he deepened their kiss. He smiled into her mouth gently, pulling her closer to him, preparing for her to give him the signal to Apparate back to his bedroom.

Instead, she pulled away from him, lips puffy from use. She shook her head. "Remus, we have to talk."

Well I was wrong

It never lasts

There is no

This is no modern romance

Remus cocked his head at her. "Talk? Alright." He studied her face; her brow was furrowed and she wrung her hands.

"What's wrong, Lil?"

She turned away from him, staring down at a piece of grass that poked out from the snow. The silence was heavy and with every second that dragged past Remus felt himself get more nervous. Had the others found out about them? Was she breaking it off once and for all?

"I'm pregnant, Remus."

In time, time is gone

Never last stops who he was

It felt as though his lungs had filled with blood, choking him, cutting off his air supply. He took a gasp of air, vainly trying to keep conscious.

Pregnant? The word swirled around his head. Flashes of every one of their nights together, trying to pinpoint where a mistake could have been made, a step could have been missed.

A cold sweat broke on his brow as he came to the realization that this child would inherit, no, would be cursed with his lycanthropy. He was never intended to have children. He'd come to terms with it years ago. He'd never wanted to pass on that which plagued him to anyone, especially someone he loved. It was his worst fear.

The snow covered park swirled around him. He held onto the tree to keep him balanced. It was too late to remedy this mistake, the child would be a werewolf. And they were making revolutionary advances in Wolfsbane potions… Lily would be an amazing mother, also. The babe would not grow up unloved.

And Remus loved Lily. He'd never said so, but he knew it. Perhaps, someday, she could love him back… if she didn't already.

He would do everything he could for the child. True, it was difficult for him to keep a job, but he would find something.

"Marry me, Lily," he blurted.

"Remus-" she started, turning to face him.

"No, really. This will work out. I know that you might not approve of having a werewolf for a son or daughter, but everything will work." He got down on one knee, looking up at her. "I love you, Lily Evans. Marry me."

She burst into tears. Loud, chest wrenching sobs racked her delicate frame. She shook her head and covered her mouth.

"It's James'," she whispered.

Well I was wrong

Never lasts

Remus blinked at her, replaying the last thirty seconds in his head, looping the name "James" over and over. He never thought that he'd hate the sound of it, but it had a certain arrogance to it as he thought about it.

"He and I…" she began. "Once, about a month ago. It was careless and-God, I'm so sorry, Remus."

This is no

There is no modern romance

"You and… James," he muttered, standing up in a futile attempt to salvage a shred of his dignity.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Does he know?" he asked, quietly.

"Not yet… I wanted you to know first."

"You're so kind." He'd never been a very caustic man, but there was a first time for everything.

"Remus, I'm sorry!"

There is no modern romance

"Of course you are," he said, shaking his head and turning around.

This is no modern romance

"Remus, wait! Please!" she pleaded from behind him.

There is no there is no

He continued walking away from her, ignoring her screams, ignoring the tears that stung his eyes and wet his cheeks, ignoring the sick feeling at the pit of his stomach. He passed his own house, unsure of where he was going. He just wanted to be alone. Away from Lily. Away from James. Away from everything he knew to be good and true. He just wanted to be alone.

Modern Romance