A Decision Of The Heart

I can remember it so clearly. The rough stone against my back, the cold wind on my face, his hands grabbing at me. That was the day that changed my life forever. And my knight in shining armour. How ironic. Of all people, it was he who helped me, excepted me for who I am. And for that one night, we are bound together. Something that runs deeper than love, hate, deeper than the gulf between our families. At first we tried to deny it, but it was inevitable. Fate brought us together, just as it ripped us apart again. So stick around for a while, and I'll tell you a story.

It had all worked out so perfectly. Ron had finally plucked up the courage to ask Hermione to the Yule Ball, and Harry had told me I was going with him, and I had nobody else so I didn't bother to argue. No matter how hard I seemed to try, I was just 'Weasley's little sister' to everyone. But I decided that on the night of the ball I was going to amaze them all, make them wonder why they didn't notice me before. If only I'd known, I'd never have gone.

I looked stunning. I'm not one to fish for compliments, but I truly looked beautiful that night. Madame Malkin had really excelled herself with my new dress robes. The money was a present from Fred and George, who had plenty to spare with the success of their joke shop. I gave a little twirl, admiring the rustle of my full skirt. These were the latest style, more like Muggle dresses than anything. Mine was shoulder-less, but with full sleeves, in a beautiful sea-green colour, and low enough to show just the right amount of cleavage. My hair was pinned up with a few loose tendrils framing my face, and a small dusting of glitter. Parvati and Lavender had done my makeup for me, just a little foundation with lipstick to start with, but they then decided to do my eyes as well. And I was amazed. They had added a light eye-shadow, a very pale silver, with a touch of eyeliner and mascara to 'emphasise my eyes' as they put it.

I slipped on my matching shoes and began to descend into the common room with the rest of my dorm-mates. I spotted Harry, looking nervous and gorgeous. His bottle-green robes brought out his vivid eyes, and he had tried desperately to flatten his hair, without much luck. I smiled slightly at him, and he gave me a quick wave. I was besotted with him, so much that I couldn't see what lurked beneath his wonder-boy exterior. But I learned the hard way, a lesson I will never forget. As they say, never judge a book by it's cover. Or in my case, never judge evil by it's disguise.

I was having the time of my life. Everyone had said how nice I was looking, even people I had never met before. Harry had watched on jealously as I danced with several other boys, not just from Gryffindor but from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff as well. I laughed and drifted over to the punch table where Harry poured me a drink, scowling at anyone who tried to ask me for another dance. A slow dance came on as I finished my punch, and Harry led me out into the swirling masses of other couples..

He placed his arms round my waist and I put mine round his neck. Why didn't this feel right? I had waited so long for this, but I was just the wrong height, slightly too short to lean on his shoulder. He held me very close, his hands creeping down slowly. The song ended and I pulled away quickly.

"Lets go for a walk." I said, breathless with nerves. Harry nodded in eager anticipation, and we headed out the doors, away from the excitement of the party. Why had it felt so uncomfortable to be that close to him? I walked faster and faster, like I was trying to get away from him, but he followed me, like a tiger stalking its prey. I reached the doors that led to the garden and pushed them open. I glanced round and found a concealed bench and quickly sat down. I tried to calm myself. This was Harry, my brother's best friend. He wouldn't do anything to me.

I inhaled sharply as I felt his hot breath on the side of my neck. Go away! I pleaded silently, but he began to kiss me, his breath hot and ragged. I got up, but he forced me back down and turned me to face him. He smiled slightly, the moonlight distorting his familiar features. He bent his head to kiss me, crushing his lips against mine, forcing his tongue through my clenched teeth. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! I fought against him, but what chance did I have? He tugged at my clothes roughly, not caring about the tears streaming down my face, soaking his hand that was covering my mouth. I tried to push his hands away from my skirt, but he swatted them away and quickly undid his belt. That was the exact moment I knew I would never be able to trust anyone again. I tried to scream for help, but none came.

He finished quickly and stood up, re-buttoning his trousers as he did so. His eyes, those beautiful deep pools of emeralds, gave me a look that is normally reserved for something one of Hagrid's creatures threw up, and he left. I pulled my knees up to my chest and sat on the ground, crying softly. I had been used, and I felt horribly dirty. I was unfit to be in the company of other people, because I was stained. It was worse than being possessed by Voldemort. I had fufilled my purpose, and now Harry had simply tossed me aside like rubbish. Because that's all I was to him. My perfect night was spoiled, my life shattered. And it was all the cause of one boy.

***

Draco's POV

I watched Pansy's pathetic attempts at subtle flirting, but my mind was elsewhere. I had agreed to go on this walk with her for obvious reasons, but there was no love behind it. Every time we slept together, it made me despise her even more, because she knew, but still hoped she could change me. Yet what future did I have? To get the Dark Mark when I graduated, and go on to serve Voldemort. I had no wish to do this, but I had been promised to the Dark Lord before I was even conceived. I knew my mother cried over this, but I had long ago learned to shut out these emotions, to surround myself in a wall of ice.

Pansy was telling me something, but I had no idea what it was. I looked up to see Potter striding out from behind a large unicorn-shaped bush, and Pansy gave me a worried glance and fled after him. This was odd. I stood up gracefully and slowly and made my way over to where The-Prat-Who-Defeated-Voldemort-But-Can't-Brush-His-Hair had just come from. I heard a noise, like someone crying, and I was even more intrigued (A Malfoy would never be curious, it's highly un-Malfoyish). I stepped round the large greenery to see the Weaslette sitting on the ground crying. I was just about to make a cutting remark when I noticed several things at once. Her dress was ripped and rumpled. Her wrists were red, where someone had been gripping her. Her face was covered in tears, glittering in the moonlight. She was scared, more scared than I've ever seen her.

I reached out to touch her gently on the shoulder, because she seemed unaware of my presence. She looked up at me, her beautiful eyes wide with fear, her pupils enormous, making her whole eye seem black. Emotions swirled in them. Pain, hurt, and fear. But I think that fear is not a strong enough word to describe it. Terror. Yes, terror is what was so prominent in her eyes. I knew immediately it was something to do with Potter. The Weaslette backed slowly away, seemingly unable to take her eyes off me.

I knew what had happened here. I hadn't even noticed her ripped underwear lying on the ground a few feet away, but I had felt the exact same when I had been abused. Worthless.. I was beaten by my father for years, yet I had learned to deal with it, to block out the pain. But she had always been so trusting, hadn't she? Never thought someone like Potter would do that to her. You would think she'd have learned back in her first year, but no. She shuddered and another tear slid down her cheek.

I sat down on the bench behind her. I don't know why I did it, but I knew I was the only person who could understand her. We shared something, although I wasn't aware of it at the time. I was drawn to her, in some way I couldn't explain. And my curiosity would cost me something it took me so long to find: Love. We sat there, such an odd contrast, me with my pale colours and blank face, her with bright red hair and the pain pouring off her in waves. She reminded me of myself when I was younger, when my father had killed my hunting bird.

*flashback*

He had given it to me, as wild as they come, and told me to train it. Of course, this was near impossible, and I suffered many injuries. But eventually I taught it to trust me, and we became best of friends. Lucius wanted to see how my task was coming along, so he took me out hunting. When he saw Trafalgar nip my ear affectionately, he grabbed him from my shoulder and broke his neck. "I told you to train him, not ruin him!" he spat at me. And that was the last time I ever cried.

*end flashback*

I vowed to myself I would block out all feelings, and I had. But as all my painful memories came flooding back, I felt a cool sensation run down my cheek. I lifted my hand up and found a drop of salty water. A tear. And I knew that this Weasley girl was special. She had made me do something no one else could do, not even under torture.. So I sat with her, lost in my memories.