Jump

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
The angry boy a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight, you're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong
Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away

-Third Eye Blind, Jumper

The ground was so inviting. It looked almost warm. Harry swore upon all that he loved, which wasn't much these days, that he could hear it whisper his name seductively. "Harry... come on, jump on off and embrace me... forget your troubles...."

He watched a tear drop fall from his cheek and hit the ground far below. He wished he could see the little splash it made, the little dark damp spot that the ground would drink soon. It always pleased him to see such simple things like that, water droplets on dirt or sand.

But now was not the time to ponder. Harry had better things to do. Like jumping off the top of the Astronomy tower. What a way to die, the Boy-Who-Lived would now become the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Pancake. He snickered to himself quietly. He liked his childlike sense of humor. Somehow, it fit. Like a key in a lock. He braced himself on the shingles and almost tripped, but instead made his way to the top to do a flying leap off the tower. He gripped the top of the tower and watched the tears drop onto the roof. More simple pleasures.

Damn the wench, he decided after much thought. Damn the fucking wench and all that she stood for. He had so many reasons to jump. The fact that he had a hidden secret so shameful that his own father, so open and kind, would cringe in anger when he heard it. The fact that he was failing in classes. The fact that Dudley, in a sudden spur of "kindness", had given him a baggie of weed before he came to Hogwarts and now Harry smoked a joint a week. The fact that his girlfriend had been cheating on him with about 17 other people, including girls. The fact that no one seemed to care anymore about Harry Potter.

Well, that would all change. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a joint, and stared angrily at it. And this was one of the things that had started it. Dudley had suddenly decided that kindness was driving his cousin to suicide. Well, probably in Dudley's eyes, it was the most humane way for Harry to die, by his own doing.

"Fuck this." Harry threw the joint off the tower and watched it sail limply to the ground. If he was lucky, he'd flatten it into the ground and they'd never find it. He sighed again. So many reasons to kill himself, and here he was, putting his plan into action. "Well, here goes. G'bye, Hogwarts. G'bye, life... what the shit am I doing?" He scowled angrily. "I'm turning into one of those stupid Muggle teenaged girls who go, 'Oh, cruel world, goodbye!' and then do some drastic death. Well, I'm not always a drama queen...."

"Really?" A familiar voice said from the window below. Harry almost slipped off the tower if it weren't for his self control. "I never would have guessed that myself... Potter."

"Go away Malfoy," Harry growled. "This is personal business that I'm going to take care of and you're going to leave me alone."

"Oh, am I?" Draco was already climbing onto the roof. "Sorry, but I think I can't do that."

"And why not?"

Draco smiled as he kicked a leg onto the ledge of the roof. "Because I won't let you jump."

Harry rubbed his ear uncertainly. "What?"

"I said, I won't let you jump." Draco grinned madly. "And I'd better get your ears checked if I were you."

"Shut up, Malfoy."

Draco held up his hands defensively. "Calm down, I didn't mean anything by it," he said softly, then continued, "You don't have to get so... you know...."

"So... what?" Harry seethed, searching Draco's face for answers.

Draco just smiled. "Nothing. Here, tell me why you're up here in the first place." Draco plopped down next to Harry and hugged his knees tightly.

"Well..." Harry began unsteadily as he sat down next to Draco. "It's a long story."

Draco put a hand on Harry's shoulder, contact that had never been made before. "We've got time."

Harry shivered slightly and then said, "You really want to know?" Draco nodded. Harry took a breath. "Wellfirstitstartedoutthatihadagirlfriendwhodidntlovemewhowasatotalslutandthendudleygavemedrugssonowimapotheadwhichisntverygoodformenottomention
thefactthatihaveaterribleunmentionablesecretthatnoonewantstohearplusimfailingschoolandlifesucksformeandijustwanttoenditallnow." When he'd finished, he gasped for air and said, "There you go. Oh, andmygirlfrienddidsomemajorcheatingonme."

"I didn't catch a word." Draco's arm was around Harry's shoulders now. "Except for 'secret.' What is your secret, Harry?"

"'Harry?'" Harry questioned. "You're using my first name...."

"Yeah, so?"

"N-nothing. And my secret is..." Harry lowered his head. "I can't tell you. I have to jump now. I'm sure life without me will be much better for you once I'm gone."

"That's not true," Draco whispered, his lips close to Harry's ear. "How the hell do you know what I want?"

Harry shivered again. Draco grinned. "You little prat, speaking for me. It's not like you. Where's the freedom of speech thing you're always supporting?"

"Flew out the window with my life," Harry said sadly, standing up. "Fuck you, Malfoy. I'm jumping anyway."

Draco stood too. "Look at me, Harry," he said quietly. "Is this what you really want? Don't you think that life can get much better for you in the future?"

Harry scoffed. "Not likely, Malfoy. Out of my way."

"No," Draco said defiantly. "Because I can see right through you. You think you're so clever, Harry, but I see through your clever mask. Nice disguise, but I know better." He grinned at Harry's wild expression before continuing. "So you can tell me the truth, and then forget this whole 'suicide' thing." Draco crossed his arms and stood there patiently.

Harry sighed. "I don't know what I want," he said after a pause. His voice was quiet and tired. "I honestly don't know. Are you happy?"

"Almost," Draco said. "Tell me what your secret is."

"No." Harry's answer was blunt, simple and quicker than greased lightning.

Draco looked thoughtful. "Okay, then don't."

Harry's feet skidded on the tower and he began to slip down the roof. He let out a yelp as he fell from his feet and slid down the roof. Draco, snapping to his senses, grabbed Harry's hand as he fell from the tower. He dangled limply.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked.

"I'm fine, Malfoy," Harry spat. "Help me up!"

Draco pulled and managed to drag Harry back onto the roof. "I thought you wanted to drop? Oh well. I really hope you're okay. You're sure you're okay? You're not fucking with me?"

Harry shook his head. "Look, I don't want to kill myself in front of my enemy and bring him pleasure to watch me die or something," Harry said, almost forlornly, "so I'm going to just go back to the common room and choose another day to jump, then, hm?" He began to climb into the window.

"Wait!" Draco called as Harry dangled a leg down to the window.

"What?" Harry was impatient.

Draco looked around nervously. "Come here."

"Why?"

"JUST COME HERE, DAMMIT."

Harry dangled for a minute, then finally lifted his leg back up and approached Draco cautiously. "Okay, what?"

It didn't take long for Draco to snap, and before either of them knew it, their lips were on each other's, a nervous, un-timed, unplanned kiss. It was Draco who figured it out, and he broke away rapidly, as Harry's eyes opened slowly.

"I-I'm sorry!" Draco cried, pressing against the spire of the tower. "I didn't mean to!"

Harry responded by grabbing Draco's tie, gently, and pulling him, gentler still, over to him, were he pressed his lips to Draco's again. Draco's knees wobbled and he almost fell when he felt Harry's tongue licking his lower lip, asking for entrance, and Draco parted his lips and let Harry kiss him. Draco thought he should thank Harry's ex, she obviously had taught him how to kiss.

Harry finally found that without air, two people cannot breathe, so he pulled away from Draco and, panting, held Draco tightly. Draco found himself lacing kisses down Harry's neck, to his shoulder, then back up to his jaw, then on his Adam's apple, feather-light kisses. Harry gasped when he felt Draco's tongue as it licked the side of his neck and he wrapped his arms around Draco's waist.

Draco finally stopped and Harry noticed how close he was to the ledge. He grabbed onto Draco even tighter and looked down nervously. He felt Draco smile into his hair.

"You still want to know my secret?" Harry asked shakily.

"Yeah, I do," Draco responded, looking at Harry with a grin.

"My secret was that... I loved you. I was ashamed of it. It was one of my reasons to jump." Harry looked down nervously, lost for words. Draco brought his lips back to Harry's hair.

"Do you still plan to jump, Harry?" He asked into the mass of hair.

Harry looked up and responded with a soft kiss. "I found my will to live."

Draco laughed and kissed Harry back. "Thank God."

End