History Lessons

Chapter Eight

There were several good things about Malfoy joining Lily and Phoebe in the library. First of all, as an NEWT student, he had a much larger grasp of the material than the fifth years did and was very willing to help in their homework (especially when this involved proving Lily wrong). Malfoy's presence also kept Devon away for good. Sometimes he would walk slowly past, sneaking glances at their table, but it was obvious that he was terrified of the Head Boy. On the other hand, he was dealing with Phoebe very nicely, even better than Devon had. He was beginning even to resist rolling his eyes when she spoke and very rarely sneered at all.

There were bad points. Firstly, Lily was doing all she could to ignore the fact that she fancied him, and it became more difficult the more she hung around him.

Secondly, the library, unlike her own space on the seventh floor corridor, was not private.

Malfoy sat with his back to the rest of the library, facing Lily. Lily, however, could see everyone passing by.

Albus would walk by and smile and wave. That wasn't so bad. Lily had a distinct feeling that he kept his friends away from their corner and she silently appreciated this. But once Clement strolled by and stopped, horror-stricken, at the sight of Malfoy leaning across a table to discuss a Charms assignment with his team's Keeper. Lily had leapt up and told Clement that Malfoy was tutoring her, but he walked away looking scandalized. And it would be a while before she forgot the sight of Matt Horton and Blaine Deverill strolling through the shelves and coming to a halt at their table.

"You're not making sense," Lily said, tapping her textbook. "Does the part I'm trying to Vanish have to be visible? Say I want to Vanish the bones out of a rabbit; can I do that?"

"The bones out of a rabbit?"

"Hypothetically."

"Yes, you could."

"But then why can't I Vanish something that's behind a wall?"

"Stone and skin are totally different material."

"Besides," Phoebe added, "rabbit skin has special properties that a wall just can't have. Did you know that rabbit pelts were elemental in Dumbledore's defeat of Grindelwald?"

Malfoy stared for a moment, then looked back at Lily. "See?" he said flatly. "Rabbit skins have special properties. I can't believe you didn't know that."

Lily laughed, putting her quill down and looked back up at Malfoy. Her stomach swooped and she quickly looked away...and that's when she saw Blaine. And he looked furious.

She paled a little as he glowered at her from only ten feet away. "Lily?" Malfoy questioned and he followed her eyes. "Oh."

"Leave her alone," Blaine said, a little dramatically, his fists already clenched.

Malfoy stood. "I was assisting her with her a Transfiguration essay -- but perhaps you would be better suited, Deverill, what with your own expertise in the subject."

Matt grabbed Blaine's arm as he started forward. "You're corrupting her!" Blaine snarled, still straining against Matt's grip. Lily laughed, quickly covering her mouth. Corrupting her? She threw her books back in her bag, preparing to leave. She needed to get Malfoy out of here.

"Death Eater!"

Lily was on her feet and around the table in a second to grab Malfoy's wand hand, jerking it upwards so that the curse went over Blaine's head. Malfoy immediately shook her off and Matt had to move to shoulder Blaine's chest to keep him in place.

"Malfoy, let's just get out of here," Lily pleaded. God, why did Blaine have to show up and make a scene?

Malfoy shook his head, still looking at Blaine. "You've wanted to throw that one at me for years, haven't you? How absolutely clever, Deverill. I've never heard such a witty insult before."

"You Slytherin cow --" grunted Blaine, still fighting Matt. "Coward!"

Malfoy laughed mirthlessly. "Coward? What, because I'm not stupid enough to throw myself into a fistfight in the middle of the library?"

Blaine finally stepped back; Matt nearly lost his balance. "I don't care what you've got to say about me," he said, breathing heavily. "You just need to stop messing round with Lily."

"You as well."

Lily turned red. She looked at the boys; both had drawn wands and taken dueling stances, Matt hovering next to Blaine worriedly. They were both acting like complete prats, but if she had to make the choice there was no question.

"Scorpius," she said, taking his arm. "Let's go."

"Lily!" Matt was once again restraining Blaine. "You can't!"

Lily motioned for Phoebe to join them and for once took Malfoy's hand herself to lead him away.

~

The trio was silent as they left the library. Phoebe left to take a different staircase to the fifth floor and Lily and Malfoy continued on alone.

They didn't let go of each other's hands even as they climbed the staircase. Lily held on loosely, partly because his fingers were too big to be comfortably intertwined with her own and partly because Lily wasn't sure, somehow, that this was the right choice.

Obviously she'd prefer Malfoy over Blaine. But there had to be a third option, one that would allow her to walk back to Gryffindor tower alone.

It wasn't anything against Malfoy, really. She liked him, fancied him, and everything else -- but did he have to goad Blaine like that? She hated that cold sarcasm, hated that look on his face.

And no, she was not looking forward to what would happen when Blaine owled James.

Back in Hogsmeade in October she and Malfoy had barely been acquaintances; when Uncle George saw them together she hadn't bothered with being worried. If James found out he would have nothing to be bothered about except a vague companionship, something that could really be overlooked or brushed under the carpet. But choosing between the two boys, the two...competitors...This was totally different. This was solid fact. This was a real friendship and, as Blaine had no doubt guessed, something more.

"What're you worried about?" Malfoy asked as they reached the passageway to the seventh floor.

"Oh," she said, startled. "Er...James -- my brother. I'll be surprised if I don't get a Howler in the morning for this..."

Malfoy was silent.

"And my dad will know, I'm sure...You know, I thought that he wouldn't mind this? He's so forgiving...he's so like Albus. But even Albus can't stand the idea..."

"Potter can't?" Malfoy said abruptly. "He...?"

"He can't stand you, right?" said Lily. "He as good as told me that."

"He did?" Malfoy went from incredulous to furious. "What did he say?"

"I don't know!" Lily said, frustrated. "I just...If Albus, the world's biggest softie, can't understand I just don't know how this can work!"

They reached the tapestry on the seventh floor but Malfoy halted just short of it and let go of her hand. "All right then," he said. "Never mind."

She couldn't see his face in the passageway. "I'm not -- I'm not saying --" She had no idea what she was saying.

"I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave," he sneered.

"Are you calling me a coward?"

"Remember when your uncle made you promise not to see me anymore?"

"Yes, I do!"

"And now you're backing out --"

"Backing out of what? You're being ridiculous. I never made any promises to you, I never asked you for anything -- the only nice thing I've done for you, Malfoy, is not tell you to back off and leave me alone!"

And before Lily could even begin to think about what she just said or what repercussions this would have, he was gone.

~

Lily liked to make the best of whatever situation she was in. Here, the situation was Malfoy refusing to speak to her. She made this better by convincing herself that she didn't want to talk to that scumbag anyway.

When she received James's letter the next morning, demanding to hear that Blaine was a liar and that Lily was not consorting with Scorpius Malfoy, she forced a laugh and chucked it out. When Evie and Erato asked eagerly whether it was true she was going out with the famous Slytherin, she rolled her eyes and gave an adamant no. When Jocasta insisted Lily tell her what was going on, Lily merely told her that Malfoy had been helping her with a homework assignment in the library and Blaine had blown the whole incident out of proportion.

In fact, Lily told this lie a lot that day.

When she told it to Albus he gave her a horrible look and Lily made an excuse to leave the room.

She began returning to her spot on the corridor, not hoping to see Malfoy rounding the corner at any moment. She walked past the Slytherin table every morning, not looking to spot Malfoy sitting among his friends. She never looked out windows facing the Quidditch pitch during Slytherin practices. Not once did she look up from the ground when walking to the castle from Herbology when she knew Malfoy would walk past her.

Lily didn't only lie to her friends but also to herself.

The added stress of attempting to ignore Malfoy to her already heavy workload of OWL preparation and Quidditch practice left Lily totally out of sorts. More than once she fell asleep in the corridor surrounded by history notes and a half-written essay. She began really using Uncle George's Skiving Snackboxes to finish up homework and later borrowed notes from Jocasta. The thought of the upcoming two-week Christmas break did not help her case.

The Thursday before break, Lily, who had been skipping study sessions with Phoebe, prepared to go down the corridor to her favorite spot. She dragged herself down the stairs from her dormitory, already exhausted from practice, and saw Junia hard at work over a Defense essay.

Defense essay.

Defense essay.

Defense essay.

Lily leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and counting her breaths. She already had to write essays for Charms and Muggle Studies....How could she stay awake to write three papers?

"Are you all right?" Lily opened her eyes to see Krishna Davies was peering at her, confused.

"Fine," she said, her voice a little too high-pitched. "Thanks, I'm fine." She was sore, tired, preoccupied, overworked, and overloaded. Why didn't she write that essay last night? She had, instead, gone to bed early -- fat lot of good it had done her, as Lily had laid in bed for several hours before she finally fell asleep.

But standing here moping about it wouldn't help. As Krishna walked past she took a deep breath and walked past Junia's table toward the portrait hole. A few steps later she doubled back, the tall stack of books in her arms slipping as she made a dead stop in front of her roommate.

"I'm done!" Junia announced happily, setting down her quill. "How're you doing, Lil?"

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"All right."

"Can I please, please, please borrow some Cauldron Café Cookies?"

Junia grinned. "Pulling an all-nighter?"

"Please, Junia."

"All right." Junia reached into her schoolbag and dug out a package. "Here you go. Don't bother paying me back, I'm going to restock over break anyway, and I've still got one more bag...I guess I'll have to finish those up tomorrow."

"You're wonderful," Lily said gratefully as Junia carefully placed the package on top of Lily's stack of books.

"Not really," she replied. "Are you okay? Your eyes are red."

"Thanks," was all Lily said, and with that she left the common room and made her way down the corridor, careful not to spill her load. She settled down with her usual cushioning charm and leaned against the wall, taking the package of cookies into her lap. She pulled it open and took a first bite.

~

Lily awoke the next morning easily and contentedly. She went about her morning routine with her roommates and down to breakfast accompanied by Jordan and Jocasta.

And then, once they reached the entrance hall, she remembered. Muggle Studies, Charms, Defense. Essays.

"I just have to check something," she said to her friends as way of explanation before she tore back up the stairs and through the passageway back to Gryffindor tower. Back in her dormitory she up-ended her bag and dug through her trunk in search of the three essays.

And there they were. In her stress and exhaustion she must've forgotten the act of writing them. She hadn't put them in her bag, but they were there now, all the right lengths and all perfect. Or, well, as perfect as she could expect them to be. Thank God.

She ran back down to the first floor for Muggle Studies and was met in the corridor by Jocasta bearing a piece of toast for Lily, who hadn't had time to eat breakfast.

"We need to talk," she said abruptly, handing over the toast.

"What?"

"Yeah, Potter, you've got some explaining to do," added Jordan.

"What --?"

"Listen, if you're going to stand in the middle of the corridor and be tardy, at least stand to the side and let somebody get to class on time," said Leander, pushing past Jordan.

"Let's go," said Lily to Jocasta and Jordan, and she turned to follow Leander, still totally bewildered.

For some reason Jocasta and Jordan didn't want to talk with Lily in the middle of class, though she felt their stares throughout the hour. As soon as the bell rang they dragged Lily with them to the nearest courtyard. The ground was hard and frozen but totally dry, as no snow had yet fallen. The three holed up in a corner, glaring almost menacingly at Lily.

"Where have you been doing your homework?" asked Jocasta.

"What? What does that have to do with anything?" Lily said, thoroughly confused.

"And please, Lil," Jordan pleaded. "Just please don't say you're being tutored by Malfoy."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. This she could handle. "Not those rumors again. You know what I've told you --"

"We know," Jocasta interrupted. "But please, Lily, just tell us the truth!"

"I don't even know what you're asking!"

"All right," said Jordan. "Here's our question: Why did Scorpius Malfoy sit at the Gryffindor table for breakfast this morning?"

Lily's jaw dropped.

"Why," Jocasta continued, "did he insist on eating with us?"

"Why did he ask where you were?"

"Why was be being friendly?"

"Where were you this morning, anyway?"

"Where were you last night?"

"How does Malfoy know you?"

"And why," Jocasta finished, looking upset, "haven't you told me, Lily?"

Lily stared, dumbfounded. Malfoy was looking for her? Malfoy talked to her friends? It had been over a week since their fight and Lily had given up all hope of him ever looking her way again. Was he seeking some kind of revenge?

"Lily?"

"I...I don't know," she said, partly truthfully.

"Oh, Lily," Jocasta said sadly, and Lily realized that she was disappointed.

"No, stop," she found herself saying. "I don't know, all right? Malfoy and I...we had a falling out the other week. I don't know why he's trying to talk to me now, it doesn't seem right..."

"You were friends?" said Jordan, looking revolted.

"Lily!"

"Oh, shite," she whispered, turning to see Malfoy jogging across the courtyard toward them.

He reached the trio and stopped in front of Lily, his expression unreadable. "What?"

"What?" Lily repeated. "You're the one who walked over here, Malfoy, you tell me what."

He sneered. "I was going to say good morning, Potter; you don't have to act all defensive."

"Why not?" she countered. "I've got nothing to say to you."

He stared. Lily tried to stare back but she couldn't hold his gaze. He was furious. The warning bell rang distantly and Jocasta tugged lightly on Lily's sleeve. "Charms," she said.

They left Malfoy standing alone in the courtyard.

Charms was hopeless. Lily was far too distracted to deal with Fawcett's lecture. Everything was going wrong. Just when she'd convinced everyone that nothing was going on between herself and Malfoy, this had to happen.

Why had he approached her? And more so, why had he approached her friends? He'd never done that before; only Phoebe knew about their friendship. Phoebe was so trustworthy. It wasn't in her nature to gossip. And with Jordan and Jocasta sitting on either side of her, shooting furtive glances her way every now and then, she realized that she missed Phoebe...a lot.

And so she tore out of the classroom the second the bell rang and sprinted down to the Great Hall for lunch. She stepped through the doorway but immediately retreated; she did not want to pass the Slytherin table. As the masses poured into the entrance hall she tucked herself into side, unused classroom and peered through the door. Jocasta and Jordan passed, looking around them and jumping up and down, trying to find Lily. Malfoy passed by a minute later, looking surreptitiously over the heads of the other students -- looking, no doubt, for Lily. And then, straggling at the end of the crowd, was Phoebe Scamander.

"Phoebe!" Lily said, leaving the classroom. Phoebe stopped and turned, smiling at Lily and totally unsurprised.

"Hello, Lily!"

"Hey...erm...do you want to have lunch with me?"

"In that classroom?"

"No, I -- well, actually --"

"How about some food?"

"Yeah, I'm a bit hungry," Lily said, "but Phebs, I don't really want to go in there..."

"Oh, we don't need to," said Phoebe, smiling. She turned, walked closer to the doors, and drew her wand. "Accio two sandwiches!"

The sandwiches zoomed across the hall, narrowly missing several students' heads. She snatched them out of midair and turned back to Lily. "Right?"

"Right," Lily said weakly and they walked back to the classroom. Lily pulled the door closed behind her.

"Why are you hiding from Scorpius?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh..." Lily moaned, pulling herself up on an old desk.

"Here," said Phoebe, handing her a sandwich.

"Thanks....Hey, what happened to your pressca...prisscal..."

"Priscrepo eggs? I ran out," said Phoebe. "A month ago. I've been eating too much lately."

"It doesn't show," Lily offered lamely.

"You show," said Phoebe. "You're tired and upset. You miss Scorpius."

Lily's face burned. "How do you do that?"

"Whenever we're in the library you're always looking for him, even if you won't admit it, and you've stopped visiting me at the Ravenclaw table because it's right by where he sits. It means that either Devon Hopkins has become more persistent -- this I find unlikely -- or you're avoiding Scorpius."

"Well, you're right," said Lily bluntly. "We had a row, and I don't even know what it was about. I messed up, I guess. I was just telling him the truth, really..."

"Did you tell the whole truth?"

Lily looked up from her sandwich. "I told him that James would be angry," she said quietly. "And that Albus wouldn't approve."

Phoebe looked back at her sadly. "You didn't tell him you loved him."

"I don't love him!" Lily said truthfully. "I just...really, really, really like him."

"You could," Phoebe said. "Love him. You could, if you tried."

"If I tried?"

Phoebe nodded solemnly. "He tried to love you. He's been getting detentions lately, so that's why he hasn't been in the library."

"Detention? How do you know?"

"Oh, I saw him. He hexed a sixth year Ravenclaw. Headmistress Smethley was not pleased. And I know he's done it again since."

"Why did he hex them?"

Phoebe didn't answer but just finished her sandwich. Lily sighed.

"He's angry at me," said Lily, "and I know it's about something new, but I haven't done anything! He just walks up to me in the courtyard and gets all defensive."

Phoebe looked thoughtful. "You never reconciled?"

"Not that I recall."

"Gosh..." Her brow furrowed. "I don't know what's going on...but I'm sure you'll figure it out."

~

Malfoy seemed to have stopped looking for her. Although she knew he had only one morning class on Fridays and could've found her easily at any of her classes, he never once appeared again. It seemed that things were back to how they were before.

Only now she was free -- Blaine had convinced Clement to cancel practice and tomorrow she'd be on the train to London for a two week holiday. She spent little time in the common room, as Jordan and Jocasta seemed intent still on forcing out some information, and instead retreated to her usual spot in the corridor. The stones glowed in the moonlight from the window next to them and she found the scene somehow soothing. It was time to relax, time to regroup. In two weeks she'd return to Hogwarts and all of this would be past her...

She heard the footsteps but had no time to run before Malfoy appeared in the corridor. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of her.

"Am I allowed to talk to you now?" he asked evenly. "Is that how the rules go?"

"What are you talking about?" she replied, trying to match his cold tone.

He didn't answer; instead he was focused on the stones across from her. "So you came back here?"

"I'm always here," she said.

"You said you wouldn't come back."

"I never said that!" she replied hotly.

"Listen, Potter," he said, and looked as though he was steeling himself to say something. "I admit that maybe I don't know you that well, but I can't believe you'd pull this on me. I just stopped by to inform you that despite whatever ideals you may hold for yourself, you are low, cowardly, and disgustingly manipulative."

Lily leaped to her feet, drawing her wand. "You watch it, Malfoy," she threatened.

He didn't bother arming himself. He just stared down at her. "What else can you do to me?"

She met his gaze, hoping to intimidate him through a staring contest or something -- something -- but this wasn't helping her case, it was making her weaker...

"You can't just do this," she said, now looking straight ahead at his chest. "I haven't done anything, anything, to deserve this."

And he left.

And Lily sat back down, this time leaning right against the newer stones, and she leaned her head back and counted her breaths as she cried.