Delusional

Delusional

Love is just a word; nothing more, nothing less than that.

What is love? How can you define love in a century where scientific knowledge is more important than people's beliefs in a power much greater than us?

According to Socrates, love only serves to create magnificent and beautiful speeches, but according to the romantic myth, love is just a way to express the passion that a person feels for another.

I don't agree with any of them; as she pointed to me, love is just a tiny word with no significance whatsoever.

Only an ancient form of language could ever express my feelings towards her, but unfortunately that kind of magic disappeared centuries ago.

Maybe she is right, maybe I can't understand love as a feeling; how could I, when all that I've experienced during my short life has been pain and suffering?

My parents were killed when I was a baby, my uncle treated me like a piece of garbage during my all childhood, my godfather was killed because of my own stupidity, and now the woman that I love chose my best friend over me, a man that I despise with all my heart for stealing her from me.

So, tell me, how can I know the difference between love and hate?

Love is for people with dreams.

During these last seven years I only had one purpose in life: to destroy once and for all the most powerful dark wizard my world ever saw: Lord Voldemort.

I did; I destroyed him, but now with the end of this day, I have nothing to aspire to.

April first is the day that will live in infamy until my last breath; it was the day my life ended when Hermione swore her eternal love to Ron.

I admit that Ron is a good man; he is the kind of person that is willing to fight for his dreams no matter what and the kind of man who puts his family over his own needs; for me that is the only reason she decided to marry him.

Hermione is a girl who needs to feel protected by a strong man, someone who can be a good parent to her children and more important yet, someone who she knows will come home every time he goes to work without worrying if he's going to get killed or not.

I'm not that kind of man; I have too many scars in my life to fight for a perfect future or to be a good husband; I thought she would understand that. After all, she was the only one who ever understand me.

I know that my problems are too difficult for her to support, but still I can't believe that she chose a prat like him over me, The Boy Who Lived... to be with her.

My love goes to the person who can give me peace, Harry, not to someone like you.

I knew since our first meeting that she was different from the other girls.

It wasn't her looks or her intelligence that fascinated me; for me, that isn't the most important thing in a woman, and I don't care what other man say. For me, true beauty resides in people's souls, and I knew in my guts that hers was as bright as the sun.

I lost count at the times she put her safety in danger to help me achieve my goals; I can never forget her compassion towards me whenever that fuck decided to have one of his jealousy attacks, and I specially can never forget the way she always protected me from other people.

In return, I gave her a future by destroying Voldemort, but that wasn't enough for her.

So, why, God, why did she chose Ron Weasley over me? What was she thinking when she made that absurd decision?

We always had a connection that transcended friendship, a connection that transcended love; what else do you call two persons that can speak to each other without saying a single word?

I can only think of two words: soul mates.

I firmly believe that it was our destiny to be together forever, so why did she decide to sacrifice a live without me for a future without flame?

You can have my body every time you want, but never my mind.

With Voldemort dead, she was my only reason to continue with my life; without her, all that I could see in my future was despair.

Last night we made love like there was no tomorrow, a night that will forever be the most beautiful experience of my entire existence.

I can't describe the sensations that I felt when I was inside her, and I know that she couldn't either.

Her skin was as soft as silk; her bushy hair smelled like the rain that was falling outside my room; her face never looked so angelical...

If I could, I would had stayed in that bed making love to her until the end of days; for me that was enough to continue with my life.

But she couldn't stop crying, not even when I kissed her on the mouth to prevent her from saying something that would make us both feel like monsters under God's eyes.

I licked her tears to try making her pain disappear; I only wanted her moans of pleasure to fill the air, not her screams of guilt.

Deep down, I knew that she was miserable for giving me the only thing she could give, but I didn't care; at least we were together.

I don't want you to see me with Ron; please don't destroy my life.

When the sun rose, she was already gone.

She didn't have the courage to face me; the only thing that was left from her, was note saying that if I really loved her I wouldn't go to the wedding.

I agreed, her happiness was more important than anything else, but I still couldn't believe what she was going to do...not after what happened last night.

During the ceremony, I was at the Leaky Cauldron, drinking Fire Whisky with Tom, trying to destroy the monster that was eating my guts and telling me to destroy my once best friend for being a better man than me.

"Another Fire Whisky, Tom, and this time leave the bottle".

"Are you having a hard day, Harry?"

"A hard life, Tom, hard life..."

"Love problems?"

"Let's just say that I was a delusional fool for thinking that I had found true love."

"She doesn't love you?"

"I know she does love me, and that's what I can't understand, Tom. We were made of each other, but still she refused to give me her affection."

"Maybe love wasn't enough."

"No? According to the legend, it was love that helped me defeat Voldemort."

"No, Harry, it wasn't love that helped you defeat the Dark Lord. You only defeated him because it was your destiny; don't elude yourself.

There are people in this world who are destined to be happy, but there are also people who are destined to be miserable. You, Harry, I'm sorry for saying this, are one of those people. You have already completed your task in this world, Harry; don't expect too much from life from now on."

I completely lost my posture when I heard those words; he was completely right.

I realized that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, a thought that made me completely lose my grit, making me start crying like a little boy.

"I don't want to live without her; I don't want to be lonely," I mumbled over and over with the despair starting to fill my soul"

"Hermione, Hermione..."

Love is a trap from where you can never escape, and when you realize that, you will be condemned to destroy yourself.