Open Letter

Chapter Twelve

We had discussed having a child and decided that it was too risky to bring a child into the world during the war. Especially the child of a traitor Death Eater and Muggleborn witch. I wanted his child though. I was afraid that he would die and I would be left with nothing of him. Sometimes I felt like tricking him and replacing the Contraceptus potions he brewed with some harmless concoction, but those were wild thoughts. I would never have abused his trust.

It was difficult to see all the other families that were springing up. Ron had married Hannah and they seemed to have decided to start another brood of Weasleys. So far they had two children, Harriet and Herman Weasley. Ron was never much for subtlety.

Ginny and Harry had split but not before they had conceived. Their son Sirius had the misfortune of ending up with one of the worst hyphenated last name possible, Weasley-Potter. He was a toddler now and his time was divided between his mother, who had moved in with Ron and Hannah for the time being, and his father, who was currently living with Draco at Grimmauld Place.

That shocked everyone except Ginny. She had always known that Harry wasn't that intent on her and she knew they made better friends than lovers. She was focusing her attentions on drawing Remus out of the self-imposed solitude he had endured after Sirius's disappearance in the Department of Mysteries. When people asked Ginny why she had settled on Remus, she always told them that she was taking a page from my book.

I really felt like taking a page from hers. She delighted in little Sirius and I can assure you that I was very happy for Ginny but I have to admit to pretending that Sirius was my son. His black hair made it easier to carry on this farce in my mind.

I broached the topic again on one of the evenings that we were able to have some time alone together. We were lying in bed together and talking. Since we had to keep our relationship a secret from the students, we rarely had time to let our guard down. Most evenings together were spent rediscovering the delights of the other. Severus was kissing my neck when I decided to speak, "Do you ever imagine what it would be like to have children of our own?"

He paused in his ministrations to prop himself up on one elbow and look me in the eyes. He simply looked at me for a while as he gathered his thoughts. "I do. I wonder what they'd look like. Would they have wild curly hair and a hook nose?" He stroked an errant lock of hair out of my face and smiled down at me. "When they arrived at Hogwarts, what House would they be sorted into? What would their best class be? Would they surprise us both and make their House Quidditch team?" I was unable to suppress a giggle at that comment. I could fly, but I wasn't coordinated enough to anything else while I was flying. Severus wasn't much better himself. He smiled at my giggle and then composed himself. "Hermione, I think of all of these things, but I can't stop myself from thinking of the danger they would be in. The danger it would put you in."

Now it was my turn to prop myself up on my elbows. "I've thought of that too, and I think that the danger could be minimised. I rarely leave Hogwarts as it is. If I were to stay on Hogwarts grounds all the time I feel that I would be quite safe. There are charms I could use to mask my appearance to hide the pregnancy and it would not be that difficult to come up with a plausible excuse for the child's presence. The castle's filling up with refugees as it is. Will you consider it, for me?" I reached out and gave his hand a squeeze.

He looked at me and I determinedly held his gaze. Finally he sighed and said, "Just promise me that if it's a boy you won't want to name him Harry." I hugged him delightedly and as I felt his arms wrap around me, I heard him murmur, "Or Ronald."

Afterwards we stayed in bed with our limbs lazily entwined. He was laying behind me with his head resting on my shoulder and his arms holding me close. I put my hands over his where they rested on my belly. I sighed contentedly and asked, "What do you want to name him if it's a boy?"

He kissed my ear and then whispered, "I've always liked the name Julian. And if it's a girl?"

"Lorelei is nice. Do you like it?" I asked as I drifted of to slumber. The last thing I heard before sleep over took me was his reply, "I think it's wonderful."