Open Letter

Chapter Eight

I had used Harry's cloak before but never by myself. It was an extraordinary feeling being invisible. I felt lighter somehow, perhaps an effect of one of the charms on the cloak. I walked directly to Severus's chambers; I had visited him there many times before. His room truly reflected him. Everything in the room was of a somber color and yet the fabrics used were of a sumptuous nature.

He was sitting by the fireplace reading a potions periodical when I entered the room. I crept over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek by way of greeting. He reached up and pushed the hood of my cloak back. "I thought you could find many uses for this cloak," he drawled as he put the periodical aside and wrapped his arms around me. I allowed him to steer me into a seated position on his lap. Severus gave me a languid smile as he leaned in to kiss me.

"I'm afraid my gift isn't quite as functional as yours," I said when I came up for air. I reached into the inside pocket of my cloak and pulled out a cylindrical object. "I hope you like it." I felt nervous as I handed him his gift and watched him open it. Inside the metal cylinder was a scroll; I'd charmed the seal so that only he could open it. He unfurled the scroll and I heard my handiwork clearly in the stillness of the room. My voice spoke from the paper.

Dearest Severus,

I hardly know how to tell you my feelings. I'm afraid that I won't do them justice. So I've found someone who can speak them for me. I hope that the words of the Muggle poet Pablo Neruda leave the same impression upon your heart that they do upon mine.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

In secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

But carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

So I love you because I know no other way

Than this: where 'I' does not exist, nor 'you,'

So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I love you.

Your Hermione

I actually got my idea from the way that Howlers work. I practiced calligraphy for weeks until I thought my penmanship acceptable. The charm was easy compared to the calligraphy.

He rolled the scroll back up and re-sealed it before setting it aside. He lightly caressed my cheek and gave me the sweetest kiss I've ever had. "Thank you," he whispered. I crawled out of his lap and sat on the rug in front of the fire. I smiled up at Severus and patted the floor next to me, inviting him to join me. He sat down next to me but quickly enfolded me in his arms so that we were no longer simply sitting next to each other.

There was pain but I was not afraid in his arms. It felt natural and right that we should be together in this way, that he should be my first. He was a gentle lover and was very considerate of the fact that I was wholly inexperienced in those matters. He put me completely at ease, so I no longer felt nervous that I would disappoint him. We gave ourselves over entirely to the act which we were performing and it truly was an expression of love. That first night I slept with him in his bed. He held me close and we whispered to one another our desires and dreams for each other.

We continued to see each other for the rest of the year. I must admit that we stepped up the pace of our meetings until I was spending the night with Severus every weekend. We were passionate about each other in mind as well as in body. For as much time as we spent making love to one another, we also conversed about anything and everything. We had many lively debates, so lively that were it not for the silencing charms Severus used on his chambers, I'm sure someone would have heard us quarrelling over some tiny detail. We were quite fond of arguing over semantics and yet we would have wonderful literary discussions. I introduced him to the great Muggle authors and he introduced me to their Wizarding counterparts. And then some nights would be spent murmuring our love to each other in the firelight.

I did spend quite a lot of time away from the Gryffindor dorms. It was lucky that Harry and Ron were both seeing people otherwise they might have noticed my absences more. Harry and Ginny would often double date with Ron and Hannah. They invited me along a fair number of times and told me I could bring my "mystery boy" if I wished. They had quite the time trying to guess who I was seeing. How could I tell them that "mystery boy" was actually a man?