Open Letter

Chapter Two

When his owl perched on the kitchen window while I was doing the dishes, I dropped the plate that I was holding and just stood there. Surely I was dreaming! With trembling hands I broke the seal and unfolded the parchment. I shut my eyes inhaling that familiar scent. I stood that way for a few moments before I dared to cast my eyes upon the words inscribed on the page.

Hermione,

That was the first time he had ever written my first name. Reading it I felt a shiver go up my spine as I imagined my name caressed by those velvety tones that while sounding soft could be so harsh.

I am sorry for causing you to wait so long for this reply. I can imagine the anxiety you must have felt.

I feel that I owe it to you to be as honest about my feelings as you were about yours. I saw you truly blossom this year. You have gone from being an exceptional girl to being an exceptional young woman. Yes, I did say exceptional. You must be wondering why I never acted as though I thought so.

I know that my "favouritism" is legendary; but believe me, I care very little about house distinctions now. The students with promise are much more important. Now I have surely puzzled you, how could I have been impressed with your talent and yet said the things that I said to you?

I do not feel that praise from a professor should come to mean as little as those points the students care so much about. What value do they have if I can arbitrarily award or deduct as many as I like? If a student gets 50 points for managing to keep his cauldron from melting how is the student ever going to appreciate points that he deserves? Give him long enough and he'll come to expect them for every little thing he does. Such is unwarranted praise.

Hermione, you more than any student I have ever taught deserved praise. I was surprised to see a Muggleborn that possessed such an aptitude for magic. Yet I feared you would come to take your skills for granted. How many times can one hear that they're the brightest in their class and keep from growing lax? As for the times outside of class when I treated you harshly, I am quite sure that a woman as perceptive as you can see I must favour my own house.

I told you that I was going to be completely honest in this letter and I will. I do love you. I did not even notice it happening until you left at the end of term. I thought that I should have sent you a Howler in reply to that first letter, but I could not do it. You had taken so much care in that letter: every word perfectly formed, every sentence finely crafted. You lavished as much attention on that letter as you did in your studies. You had spent that time on something entirely for me. I felt a stirring in my heart that I didn't know I could feel anymore.

I love you, but I do not deserve your love in return. I do not think that you could love the reality of what I am. You are one of the few to know my secret but the knowledge is nothing more than an academic fact to you. When you return to Hogwarts, I will show you. If we are not to be together I will not leave you with any what-ifs. I would not have your life tainted by regret as mine has been.

S

What little remained of the summer when I received that letter flew by as swiftly as the owl that carried my reply.

Severus,

I will see whatever it is that you have to show me. You have changed my expectations of you and perhaps it is time that I change your expectations of me.

Amor vincit omnia,

Hermione