One Last Shot

I don't really remember what happened that night. I sort of blacked out I suppose. I know Remus stayed all night because I woke up in my own bed, Emma sitting on top of me, and Remus sitting on the floor, staring at the ground. I suppose I don't want to know what happened that night, but I couldn't forget what I had been told.

I remembered when I got the letter... er.... owl, some two or three years ago. It didn't say who it was from, and it was quite short. He's out but being hunted. Which meant someone knew I hadn't killed myself, almost regret that now. I remembered the hope I had when I got that letter. I was so excited. I waited for him to come to me. And I waited.... and waited... but he never found me.

I remembered thinking he would come find me when he had his name cleared. I knew he couldn't have killed so many people, let alone innocent muggles. I finally got sick of waiting and flew to Australia, then America....

When I opened my eyes again I looked at Emma. How old is she now? Thirteen or fourteen? I'd had her for so many years... I was trying to keep my mind off of what I knew I would think about if my mind wandered.

I peered down at Remus, it would be a full moon soon... I couldn't help but wonder when he would leave. I stood up slowly so as not to wake him and made my way to the kitchen. I saw an owl pecking at my window.

"Lord, is the whole wizarding world going to haunt me now?" I grumbled to myself as I slide open the window and the owl flew in. It made a beeline for my room. Great, Remus gets the Daily Prophet, that bloody bird will wake him up, just what I need. Remus stumbled out as the stupid owl flew away.

"Morning..." though I was pretty sure he couldn't hear me.

"Breakfast?" he asked maneuvering his way to the fridge.

Well, he was going to cook for me. Lovely, now I got to be treated like a child.

I said nothing and dropped down on the couch after picking up the Daily Prophet and looked at it. The headline was something to do with Voldemort's return and blah blah blah. I tossed the rag of a newspaper onto the floor and looked up at the ceiling.

My mind began to wander. Sirius..., his name pounded in my head. I cried. I didn't really know I was crying. I didn't really think I could. I felt empty inside. I didn't even smell the bacon Remus was trying, and failing, to cook. His face, or what it was when I had last seen him, haunted my thoughts, then and ever after. His voice drove me insane. My mind was playing the memory of him proposing, over and over. I looked at my engagement ring... I had said yes. Of course I had, what else would I say? I loved the damn idiot.

"Um, I suppose I'm not too great at cooking," Remus said, in a low tone of voice.

I snapped out of my daze with a violently shake and looked up.

"Yes, of course, I'll cook," I slowly stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I looked at the bacon in my frying pan. It was black and shriveled up. Made me wonder what I looked like inside? Was I black and shriveled up too? Is that what happened when you lost you're love?

I some how managed to whip up some toast, bacon, and juice. I found some cherries in the fridge too. And scrounged up a bit of chocolate for myself. We ate breakfast in silence. On occasion I would look up at Remus and wonder what was going through his head.

He looked so old. His hair was exceptionally gray for his age. His face looked weary and even had some wrinkles. Time and stress had taken their toll on him. What could have possibly caused him to age so horribly? It wasn't a side affect of being a werewolf.

Once we even managed to make eye contact, but that was quickly demolished by tears. Apparently I had been crying again. I looked at my soggy toast and stood up and threw the toast and half eaten bacon away. I chugged down the apple juice and popped the chocolate into my mouth.

Chocolate is supposed to help you recover the happiness and warmth that had been lost. But it seems it only works after being attacked by a dementor, not after a death.

I collapsed back in my bed, nearly squashing Emma. She gave a protesting meow and squirmed out from under me. Such an amazing cat, she was so old, but didn't seem run down like Remus. I pitied him, he had been so alone his whole life. I couldn't see why though. In the school days I knew many girls who would do anything for a shot at him. But he never seemed interested. Maybe he was gay...

"You can't do this, Aurora," Remus had apparently entered my bedroom.

"Do what?"

"Spend all your days wallowing, crying, or whatever it is you're doing,"

"Don't worry, I won't, I have plenty of things to do,"

"Like?"

Like getting back to Sirius...

I ran to my sliding glass doors and stepped out onto the patio. I peered over the railing. It was a long way down, perfect. I heaved myself on the railing and sat there for a moment. I was about to find Sirius again...

I hurled myself down, or at least I tried. I felt Remus pulling me back, his arms around my waist. When he finally heaved me back into the room. He looked shocked and confused.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?!? YOU COULD'VE BEEN KILLED!!!" he shouted.

He was so loud, I was glad to see he had energy in him to shout, that was a good sign.

"You say that like it's a bad thing..."

"Listen, I know you're upset about Sirius and all but, maybe..." I saw his eyes shimmering with tears, the whole room was shining really, I was probably crying too.

"MAYBE WHAT REMUS!?!?! MAYBE I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR!?!?! LOOK AT THIS PLACE!" I don't know why I lost my temper but I did.

"MAYBE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU DIE! MAYBE... maybe there are people in here who don't want to see you die..." his temper vanished.

"I know Remus, but I don't think those people want me to suffer for the rest of my life, do you think they do? Do you want me to suffer?"

"No, I mean, of course not. Maybe you're giving up to soon. Maybe there is still something in this world that will make you happy,"

"Like what Remus? Money? Magic? Men? I don't want any of those things. I want Sirius back..." I dropped to my knees crying. It was all true.

"Just don't give up, he wouldn't want you to, not yet," Remus said. And once again, I was being cradled by the only true Marauder left alive. Crying my eyes out.

"I don't have anything to give up on..."

"Aurora..."

"I never got to say goodbye, you know..."

"Neither did I, and I was right there..."

And that's when I knew what I had to do. Something I had to do before I died. I had one last thing to do, for Sirius...