Searching for a Savior

Search and Rescue

I've got to get out of here.

That was the first thought in my head when I woke up. I stared at Noah's sleeping form. I slowly, carefully, slipped out of the bed.

I ran to the bathroom. I had to. I was going to be sick.

I rinsed my face in the sink when I'd finally climbed off the floor. I looked at the fresh bruises around my mouth and my eye. I cursed myself for being weak.

I clambered into the shower. I felt filthy after...what he'd made me do. I was dirty. I needed to get clean.

I scrubbed myself for an hour. My skin was burning when I finally shut the water off. I hoped that Noah hadn't been able to hear my sobs.

At least he hadn't touched my unicorns.

I left the bathroom and found the bedroom deserted. My heart leapt. Now was my chance.

I hurried down the stairs. I ran to the front door and turned the doorknob.

Nothing.

He'd had the locks changed so that you now needed a key to unlock it from the inside.

No matter, there were still windows. I hurried to the window.

He'd put bars on them!

I was trapped inside my own house.

Screaming in frustration, I slammed my fist into the window. It cracked and cut my knuckles.

"Brilliant, Jules," I muttered to myself, moving into the kitchen and wrapping my hand in a towel. I noticed the note on the table after a moment.

Hey Jules,

When you can be a good little girl, you can leave the house. Until then, I expect dinner for when I get home.

Noah

Dinner indeed.

Poison maybe.

I smiled to myself at that twisted thought. No, I wouldn't stoop to that level.

I might be tempted to spit in it though.

Sighing, I opened the basement door to go down to the freezer. He'd even had bars put on the basement windows. Well, that couldn't be very safe. What if there was a fire?

Glancing around the basement I noticed several empty boxes piled against the wall. Inspiration struck me. He couldn't keep me locked up forever. I would be ready to go when he finally let down his guard.

I grabbed a couple boxes and raced up to my bedroom. I began piling things into them. Then I paused.

If I did it neatly, I could get more into the boxes. It would be easier to take two or three boxes, rather than ten.

I packed my books first. They were the most important things. Next I packed enough clothes to last me for two weeks. That was enough for me, and it left enough clothes that Noah wouldn't notice them missing. I could come back for the rest if need be.

I dragged those boxes down to the basement. I grabbed two more and packed them as well. My pictures. My quilt that my aunt had made for me. On impulse I threw my passport into one of the boxes. I didn't know why, surely I'd never see Remus again. That thought nearly broke my heart. I kept working to keep myself distracted.

Everything I packed, I replaced with something else. Noah might think something was off, but he'd never figure out what.

I reached my unicorns. I didn't know what I was going to do with them. Noah had always said that they were childish, that I should get rid of them.

I picked up my favourite unicorn. The first one that Nannie had bought me. It was a tiny pink unicorn with a golden horn and golden hooves. I smiled at it and carefully wrapped it in newspaper. I slipped it inside the box with my quilt.

I would do one a day. He'd notice after a while, but hopefully I'd be gone by then.

I took those boxes to the basement and brought up two steaks for dinner.

By the time Noah returned from work, I'd prepared his favourite dinner. Mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, Caesar salad, garlic toast and oven roasted steak.

And just before I'd served it, I'd spat in every single bowl.

Disgusting, I know. But it made me feel better.

Things continued in this vein for several days. I would get up and scrub myself every day. I'd pack one more unicorn. I'd make a wonderful dinner.

By Tuesday I was ready to set the house on fire with me in it. What difference did it make, really? I was never going to see Remus again anyway. I had no way of getting hold of him. I didn't know the name of his school or where it was even. I had no idea what part of England he was from.

I sat on the couch, my face in my hands. How could I have been so stupid? I'd fallen for a guy I'd known for two weeks.

That night I made lasagne for dinner with a special sauce of Sunlight dish detergent. It was horrible. Noah gagged on it for an hour.

I paid dearly for the only bit of fun I'd had since I'd been back.

"Get up!" Noah screamed at me. My head was spinning and I could taste blood. Damn it!

I got up and stared at him defiantly.

"What made you think you could get away with putting dish soap in my dinner?"

I laughed almost hysterically. "You git, I've been putting special ingredients in your dinner all week! The first night I spit in it! Last night? That wonderful mint whipped cream on the pie? It was shaving cream! You don't want to know what else I did!"

Crack.

I let out a groan as he slapped me so hard that my head nearly fell off my shoulders. I sat down on the floor to try to get the room back in focus.

"What is a git?" he demanded.

I laughed again. "It means idiot! That's what you are! You are the world's biggest git!"

I had the breath knocked out of me as he kicked me in the stomach. I curled up in a ball and just hoped he'd go away. But he was as tenacious as I was stupid.

"Oh, things aren't so funny now, are they, you stupid bitch!" Noah yelled at me. I coughed as I dragged myself to my feet again. I knew if he did it again, I would probably be coughing up blood. I heard a bang and assumed it was a picture falling off the wall.

"Oh, things never were funny, you idiot. You're just too stupid to realise that."

He raised his hand. I tensed, cringing, my eyes closed, waiting for the blow to fall. I heard another bang.

"If you touch her again, I will kill you."

I opened my eyes. My mouth dropped.

Noah had been slammed against the wall. Remus stood there, his eyes blazing, his hand at Noah's throat.

"Remus," I whispered. I took a shaky step toward him.

"Stay there," he said to me. He let go of Noah's throat.

"This doesn't concern you!" Noah screamed at Remus as soon as he could breath properly again. "Just who the hell do you think you are, barging into my bedroom like this?"

I laughed shakily. "He's my white knight," I whispered.

"Julianne," Remus said quietly. "Get what you need. I'll give you ten minutes. Can you do that?"

I nodded. I limped downstairs to the basement and hauled all my boxes up to the front door. Then I grabbed the box with my quilt and my unicorns and hurried back up to my bedroom. Noah was still against the wall, Remus still held him there. I quickly wrapped the rest of my unicorns and stuck them in the box.

"What about clothes?" Remus asked, glancing at me.

"I've got clothes," I said quickly over my shoulder. "I've been packing since that git brought me here."

Remus chuckled.

"Now, Jules, that's not-"

I looked up as Remus stopped talking. He'd been looking at me. Noah had sucker punched him in the side of the head. Remus staggered back, his hand clutching the side of his head. Noah, obviously thinking that he'd knocked Remus out, advanced on me. He yanked open the closet door and pulled out the gun that he'd shot at me with before.

"Noah-" I started. I heard a click as he slid the safety off. I backed away, my hands out in front of me. As if that would save me.

He didn't shoot me. He turned and pointed the gun at Remus instead. Remus glared at him, murder in his eyes, and started advancing.

"Come one step closer and I'm going to kill you," Noah said, aiming at Remus' heart. I stared at Noah. His face was white and he looked scared.

"Remus, please," I begged him. "Please stop."

"The way I figure it," Remus snarled. "You might have the time to get one shot off. One. It will take more than that to bring me down. And you won't be able to get a second off, because then I am going to kill you."

"Remus please! Just go. Let him have me, please, don't do this!" I knew I sounded like a lunatic. I didn't care. I wasn't going to have Remus die because of me.

I screamed as the gun went off. Remus growled and clutched his arm. Noah, scared out of his mind, had shot him in the arm as a warning.

Remus plunged his hand into his pocket. He brought out a long, narrow scrap of wood in it. He pointed it straight at Noah's chest.

"Oh, yes, I am afraid of the wooden thing," Noah snarled, raising the gun again.

"You should be," Remus said calmly. "Stupefy!"

I watched in shock as Noah fell back against the wall. He slowly slid down to the floor.

I stared at Noah. I looked up at Remus. He moved toward me. I backed away quickly, my hands up in front of me again. Remus stopped, though he looked like it was against his will.

"You killed him! How-how did you do that?"

Remus put the thing in his hand back into his pocket.

"He's not dead. He'll awake soon. We need to be gone before he does."

He frowned suddenly and pulled the thing back out of his pocket. He pointed it at Noah.

"Obliviate," he muttered. I looked at Noah. He merely looked like he was sleeping on the floor. I realised this with shock. I could hear him breathing.

"Oh, thank you thank you, he's not dead," I cried. "He's a bastard, but I don't want to go to jail for killing him!"

I turned back to Remus, gaping.

"You're a wizard!" I gasped. "Why didn't you tell me? Magic exists? Are Harry and Hermione wizards?"

"Julianne, I know this is like a dream to find out that magic is real, but we really need to get out of here."

Remus picked up my box of unicorns and moved down to the front door. In a daze, I followed him.

"Where's your car?" I asked. "How did you get in? Noah's got the key."

"I don't need a key," he said quietly. "And I didn't bring the car. My way was faster."

He put the box on top of the others. There were just four in total. He looked at them a moment, as though deciding something. I longed to say something, but I thought that it better wait.

"Right," he said suddenly. "Okay, you don't have any of your toiletries here. Get a shoulder bag and put anything you need for day to day. Shampoo, conditioner, makeup, anything like that. I will be right back."

I turned and hurried up the stairs. I heard a sharp crack! as I grabbed my backpack. I quickly threw everything I needed into it. On impulse I grabbed Noah's stash of cash that he kept inside a pickle jar in the closet and tossed it in there too. Let the bastard suffer.

I limped back down the stairs. My ankle was starting swell a little. I figured it would when I'd hit it against the bedpost.

I stopped and stared. Remus stood there, but my boxes were gone.

"How-?"

"I'll explain later. He'll be waking soon. Let's go, Jules."

"Okay," I said. Remus held his arms out and I stepped into them. He pulled me tight against him and I heard the same sharp crack.

The world dissolved around us.

I stumbled as the room reappeared. But it wasn't the room in my house. We were back in the same hotel we'd been in when Noah had found me.

I gaped around. My boxes were there, stacked neatly against the wall by the door.

"I want to leave at dawn, Jules. He won't be able to get here that fast, but I'm not taking chances. I don't want him to find you again."

He paused and looked at me sadly.

"What is it?" I asked.

He shook his head and took my hand. He led me into the washroom.

I sighed at my reflection. My lip was split again, my eye swollen. I looked worse than I had when Remus had first picked me up.

"Jules-" Remus began.

I turned to him slowly. An hour ago I'd thought I'd never see him again. Now I was back with him. And I'd found out that magic was real.

I reached up and kissed him. I cried out in pain as his lips touched my split lip.

"Damn," he muttered. "Jules, do you want me to try to heal that?"

"Can you do that?"

"Yes." He pulled the same bit of wood out of his pocket.

"What is that?" I asked.

He chuckled. "It's a magic wand."

He pointed it at me. I didn't hear the words he said, but I felt my lip heal. I felt the swelling in my face go down.

He pointed it at my ankle and said the same words. I felt the swelling go down in it as well.

"Good. I'd hoped it wasn't broken. I can't heal broken bones very well."

I watched him work, watched how concerned he was. I ached to tell him what was in my heart. I wanted to tell him how I felt about him.

"Thank you, Remus," I said instead. "For rescuing me again."

"I don't want to have to do it again, Jules," he said softly. "But we can talk about that tomorrow."

He looked at me sadly again. He pointed the wand at me.

"I hate to do this, but I have to. You're a Muggle."

I stood up in fear. "I'm a what?"

"A Muggle. It won't hurt you, I swear. Obliviate."

"Jules."

No. Leave me alone. I was dreaming about Remus.

"Jules, wake up."

He was shaking me. I growled for him to go away.

"We have to go, Julianne."

I rolled over, intent on coming up swinging. My eyes widened when I saw Remus.

"Remus," I breathed, flinging my arms around his neck. "Where did you come from?" I looked around. "How did I get here?"

He smiled. I thought I saw relief in his eyes.

"Don't you remember, Jules? I came and got you."

I looked at him, trying to remember.

"Remus, what happened to you?" I gasped as I noticed the bandage on his arm.

"Oh...it's nothing," he said.

Something clicked in my head. I remembered the gun going off.

"Noah shot you," I said. Remus stared at me. "I remember. But what happened after that?"

Remus didn't say anything, just continued to gape.

"Remus?"

"Oh. I think you fainted. I don't remember myself. I just know that we got away and flew back here."

It seemed like something was missing, but what did that matter? I was back with Remus and I was free of Noah.

"I just have to finish grabbing my things from the washroom," Remus said quietly. "I want to be gone within half an hour."

I nodded, watching as he moved into the washroom. Oh it was good to be back with him.

"What day is it?"

"Wednesday," Remus answered.

I nodded, though he couldn't see me. I stood and started gathering everything. I was putting Remus' clothes in his suitcase when I noticed something sticking out of one of the pockets of his jacket.

It was a long, narrow strip of highly polished wood. I frowned at it for a moment and then picked it up. It was more than a foot long and cylindrical in shape. It had what appeared to be a handle.

I smiled to myself and took the handle in my hand. I don't know why I did this.

I gasped as red and gold sparks shot out of the end of it. A warm feeling shot up my arm all the way into my very soul. I gave the thing in my hand a wave. Again, for no apparent reason other than it seemed right.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked sharply from behind me. Gasping, I dropped it into his suitcase.

"I'm sorry, Remus," I said shrilly. "I was trying to help and it was in your pocket. I couldn't help myself, I picked it up!"

He stared at me.

"But you-" he started. He shook his head as though trying to clear it. He crossed to me and picked up the wooden thing, slipping it into his own pocket. "You shouldn't touch this, Jules. It's dangerous."
I smirked. "Dangerous? It's just a bit of wood."

He smiled at me. "Not everything is what it seems to be. Promise me you won't touch it again."

I giggled. "Okay Remus. I promise not to play with your magic wand anymore."

Magic wand? Now where had that come from?

Remus stiffened. Then he nodded and continued to get ready.

Not long after, Remus had paid for the hotel and we were on our way. I snuggled against him in the front seat of the car. He smiled and gave my knee a squeeze.

"Where to now?" I asked.

He frowned. "I don't know. I have a feeling that I'm missing something. Something important."

*

It was nice travelling with Remus again. He tried to make the journey fun, even though I could tell that he was feeling strained about not finding what he was searching for. We'd pull over once in a while and just get out and walk.

Now that I had my license with me, I could drive as well. Remus would stay awake while I did though, and talk to me. He'd also tell me to turn out of the blue. He was getting frustrated with the constant dead ends.

"She's still not eating, and she's always in bed," Remus was saying one day. He was driving and I was in my usual position, nestled against him. "At first, I thought it was okay, but now...she needs to grieve."

I nodded. "Maybe that is her way of grieving."

He sighed. "Maybe. I don't know. I know that people grieve differently, but I wish she'd...I don't know. Show some emotion. She hasn't even cried, other than at the funeral."

I wasn't sure what to say, so I kept quiet and allowed him to talk. Soon he'd changed the topic on to Harry.

"I spoke with the Headmaster, and he says that Harry is doing wonderfully in his classes. Not that that's a big surprise, but it's nice to see. Harry hasn't always been the best student. He'd rather be doing rather than learning. I sometimes think that that the reason he and Ron even passed their classes is because of Hermione. You should see the notes she takes. I'm sure she could have taught me how to teach my class."

I smiled. "What do you teach?"

His grin faltered. "Oh. Um...History."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I never took um-History. Is it like regular History?"

Remus turned and looked at me. He poked me in the ribs. I laughed as he looked back at the road.

Every night we stayed at a roadside motel. Remus never bothered to ask for two beds anymore, which I found that I was okay with that. We were settling into a routine.

"I need a vacation from this," Remus announced about a week after he'd rescued me from Noah. "Let's stay here for a week."

"Okay," I agreed. It was a nice hotel, plus it had a pool and a hot tub.

"Okay good," he said with a grin. "I'll go get our things."

He would never let me help him carry my own things up. I found this somewhat frustrating, but he wouldn't listen to my protests.

We ate lunch at the hotel restaurant and went down to the pool for a bit. As we were sliding into the hot tub, Remus stood suddenly, a look of concern on his face. He glanced at his watch.

"What's wrong?" I asked, craning my neck back to look up at him.

"I just realised I forgot something. I'll be right back."

He turned on his heel and walked into the men's change room. I shrugged and sat back in the hot tub.

He was gone for about half an hour. I was just about to ask somebody to check for him in the changing room when he returned.

"Where have you been?" I demanded, not noticing that he looked as though he'd just swallowed something disgusting.

"I had to go up to the room for something and then the telephone rang, so I took longer than I expected. Sorry Jules." He slipped into the hot tub. I pouted at him a moment before moving back over to the pool

The next day we woke early and decided to go to the Zoo for the day. Remus ordered a picnic lunch from the restaurant. We got there early.

"I'm not sure if I like coming to the Zoo," Remus said later.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. It's a little depressing, isn't it? All these wild animals living in cages."

Again that concerned look came over his face. Again he glanced at his watch.

"Um, can you wait here?" he asked. "I'll be right back."
"Okay," I said, slightly confused. I sat on the bench and waited.

He was gone nearly ten minutes this time. He came running back up to me, a grin on his face. He held up a small stuffed wolf for me.

He disappeared every day for a few minutes at a time after that. I was starting to get concerned. Was he getting sick and trying to hide it from me? I could understand him being shy in a normal relationship, but we didn't exactly have one of those. He'd seen me at my absolute worse.

Tuesday rolled around again and Remus announced that he hoped to leave the next morning. When he disappeared that day, I called down to the restaurant and ordered a romantic dinner for the two of us.

When Remus returned fifteen minutes later, he seemed edgy. He looked awful as well. He looked tired and pale.

"Are you getting sick, Remus?" I asked.

He looked at me in surprise.

"I think I might be," he answered. "Maybe I'll go see the hotel nurse tonight before we go to bed."

"I ordered dinner."

"Oh, I'm not really hungry," he said quietly. "I might go to bed early tonight."

He seemed on edge for the rest of the day. I finally told him that he was driving me crazy.

"Go see the nurse already," I snapped, looking up from my book. It was raining and I had no desire to do anything.

He came over to me and kissed me suddenly. I stared up at him as he backed away.

"I don't know how long I'll be. Don't wait up for me if I'm not back until late."

He grabbed his jacket and left.

I got to eat the romantic dinner alone.

I waited for Remus to return until nearly midnight. I'd watched the moon rise earlier from our hotel window. Full moon tonight.

Finally I sighed and gave into the need for sleep. Before I went to bed, I turned on the light in the bathroom for Remus so he could find his way to the bed if and when he ever returned.

*

"Oh, Remus you look awful," I said, shocked at his appearance.

"Thanks. You look wonderful," he groaned. He rolled carefully on to his back. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked a lot thinner than usual.

"I didn't mean it like that," I whispered, crawling over to lay beside him. His skin felt hot all over. "Are you really sick?"

He coughed. "Not really. I'm just tired. It was...this morning before I got back. I have no idea what time." He smiled at me. "I feel like I went a round with that boyfriend of yours."

"Ex!" I reminded him, trying to smile back. His appearance scared me. I didn't want him to be sick. "Do you want me to call the nurse and have her come here?"

He shook his head carefully. "No, I'm alright. Just let me sleep a bit longer. I'll be ready to go later today."

I bit my lip but he was asleep before I could reply. I lay in beside him, gently running my fingers over his back. I slipped my arms around him and fell asleep against his back.

"Hi," Remus whispered when I opened my eyes again. I blinked.

"Hi." He had turned at some point and wrapped his arms around me and his leg was over my legs. I was effectively trapped. "What time is it?"

"No idea." He grinned at me. I flushed slightly and smiled back.

"I see you're feeling better," I remarked dryly. He chuckled.

"I told you I would. Although the idea of spending the rest of the day in bed is appealing," he added, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me. I laughed and gave him a little shove. He continued to leer at me. Then he sobered suddenly. "Did you lay with me the whole time?"

I nodded. He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

"Okay," he said when we'd parted. "Do you want to stay here tonight and leave in the morning or leave now?"

"It doesn't matter to me Remus. I think you should have one more day of rest because you weren't looking good this morning and you still look a little peaky. But if you want to go now, we can go."

He looked at me. "You're helpful," he said, pretending to pout. I grinned at him.

"This is your road trip," I reminded him.

"Ah, yes." He sighed and closed his eyes again. "You're right. I am still tired. Let's stay here the night and leave in the morning."