Absurdity

'Tonks?'

'Hmm...'

'Come on, girl. Wake up!'

'Kingsley?'

'That's it, girl. Open your eyes. How're you feeling?'

'Wha...What happened?'

'The battle's over and you got hurt. We're taking you to St. Mungo's.'

'The prophecy! Did they take it?'

'No, they didn't.'

'Oh. And Harry and the children? How are they?'

'Harry's safe. Dumbledore already took him to Hogwarts. Some of the other children got hurt, but they'll be fine.'

'Then everybody's all right, yes?'

'I...Listen, there's something I've got to tell you about...It's Sirius.'

'Oh no. They didn't catch him, did they?'

'No. He...'

'Then what? What happened to Sirius, Kingsley?'

'Uh...Tonks...'

'No...'

'Tonks, dear...'

'Nonono. NO!'

'I'm so sorry, hon.'

'Oh gods, no! NO!'

The older Auror holds her tight, while she sobs.

'Come. Let's get out of here. Do you think you can walk, if I help you, or do you want me to carry you?'

Tonks shakes her head, grimacing.

'No, I...I'm fine.'

He helps her to her feet and they start walking towards the door, with him holding her. When they reach the man and boy sitting on the floor, they stop.

'Neville,' Kingsley says softly, 'you better come, too. The mediwizards have to have a look at your nose.' He takes a deep breath. 'Lupin?'

Remus Lupin looks at the two Aurors, startled. For an instant he locks eyes with Tonks, but she turns away, giving a soft whimper.

'Profedor?'

Neville, with his swollen nose, is looking at Remus with a look he knows well. Too well. Save for the nose, it was that same face, with the same worried look, that he saw fourteen years ago.

Alice.

'He killed him, Remus. Peter was accusing him of betraying James and Lily... Oh gods, the poor things... And he... he killed him! Along with a dozen Muggles. Dumbledore's already confirmed that he was the Secret-Keeper...' A pause. 'I... I don't know what to say, dear, I'm so sorry. He... The Ministry may want to have a word with you, but Si... HE has already been taken to Azkaban. No trial, they say. Serves him well, I say.' Another pause. 'I'm taking Neville to Frank's parents. Dumbledore says it's for the best, since there are still many so Death-Eaters on the run, and we're targeted. But we'll be home, then, and if you want to talk... Send me an owl, will you?'

She lied. Alice didn't know it then, but she lied. Shamelessly. On that same night, hours later, both she and her husband were to be found in their home, tortured to insanity. She lied.

'Lupin?'

Remus has that nagging feeling of stupidity, like when you wake up from a nightmare, and you still can't tell what's reality and what's a dream.

'What?' Was that his voice?

'You coming, mate?' Kingsley asks. Remus doesn't know that it's possible for someone to walk on eggshells with one's voice, but the Auror somehow manages it. Years of practice, he can only guess.

'You go on. I...I'm just resting. Meet you later.'

'All right, then.' Kingsley lays a hand on Neville's shoulder, who helps him with Tonks.

Remus leans his head back against the wall, and watches while Mad-Eye Moody and a young Ministry worker search the compound for remnants of Dark Magic. They seem satisfied as they stroll towards him.

Satisfied.

'Remus, me lad, still here?'

'I'm staying here for a while. You go.'

'Meet ye at the Order, then.'

Remus nods.

The Order.

The younger man smiles at Remus. He remembers him. A seventh-year Hufflepuff from when he taught at Hogwarts. The name he doesn't remember, though.

'Bye,' the man says timidly.

'Bye,' the boy says loudly, 'bye, Regulus! I'll be back for Christmas!'

The engine huffs and squeaks and soon enough he's being rocked by the train's cadence.

Chug-chug-chug-chug... Chug-chug-chug-chug...

'Hi there! Mind if I sit with you?'

'I'm Sirius Black, of the Ancient and most Noble House of Black. You are?'

'So, Lupin, what House do you expect to be sorted into?'

'Gryffindor, huh? Most of the people in my family, save for a cousin, an uncle, and some distant relatives, were sorted into Slytherin, but who knows? Maybe I'll end up in Gryffindor, too.'

Remus wipes the dust from the wooden floor where he's sitting. He knocks on it, wondering absently what kind of wood it might be.

Knock-knock.

Knock-knock.

'Madam Pomfrey? May I come in?'

'Remus?' A whisper. 'Remus? You awake, mate?'

'Now, Remus, you can stop pretending. Your mates aren't as stupid as you may think. We know your secret.' A pause. 'You're a werewolf, aren't you?' Another whisper, this time followed by a mischievous grin.

He stands up and walks towards the stairs that lead to the arch. His boot hits something. A glass shard, the remains of some lost prophecy. It falls down the stairs, making a ticking noise.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...

'Woof!'

'Did you see it? Did you see it, Remus? My Animagus form is a dog! A dog -- can you believe it? Of all the animals... It's brilliant! You're a wolf, I'm a dog! Perfect!' A pause and a blush. 'I mean... Great fun! We'll have great fun, that is.'

The shard of glass shimmers in the dim light. Remus picks it up. It's beautiful.

'Beautiful,' he whispers.

'Beautiful,' he whispers, 'you're so beautiful, Moony. So. Fucking. Beautiful. I want you, I always did.'

The smacking of lips, shuddering breaths, whispers, whimpers and soft moans, some deeper than the others, ruffled clothes. The ziiiiiiip of the zippers echoes through the walls of the room, and, oh! Sucking noises and the moans that escape Sirius' lips are felt. Inside. And his fingers. Inside, and, oh! Beneath him the mattress goes squeak-squeak, and who ever said it hurts? Pain never felt this good. And...

'You're so tight...'

There, that's it, and...

'So hot...'

Touch, touch, please, oh gods, and...

'You're so beautiful, like this, always...'

Yes! Gods, yes! And...

'Come with me, Moony.'

And moans and cries are caught between furious, hungry lips. The mattress goes squeak again, as the bodies fall against it shaking, uneven breaths trying to get even again, if that will ever be possible.

THUMP!

Remus turns around startled. Something just fell outside.

'Watch it, stupid!' An angry worker snaps at his partner.

'Sorry.'

'Sorry...' A sob. 'I'm so sorry, Moony. If you had just heard him! Sniv... Snape was saying horrible things, about Andromeda, about Ted, their baby, you, me, about us! The things he said about us, Moony! I wasn't thinking. It wasn't you, then, in the Shack. I... I just wanted him to pay for what he said. It wasn't fair. You didn't deserve it! I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't say I was sorry before.'

'I missed you so much, Moony, like this. I'm so sorry, I love you. So much'

'I want you. Now. Inside me.'

Eyes lock. Kiss, kiss and exploit. Breath hitches and tension and fear run through the air.

'Do it! Don't stop, don't stop, Moony, I trust you... oh!'

Somewhere in the Ministry someone laughs. Remus runs his fingers through his hair in bewilderment. Somewhere along the road Reality took a wrong turn, and while he's Right, everything else is Wrong. Maybe the Black hole astronomers say lies on the edge of our galaxy has finally swallowed the planet, leaving him behind, and he's quite sure he'll be the only one to find it absurd when the merpeople move to the desert and dragons start spitting water. And all he can do is wonder where this world will end.

'Where will this world end? Moony, sit down, you won't believe this. Evans agreed to go out with Prongs! That woman must be out of her mind! What will we do now?'

'What do I mean? Now we won't have anything to joke about!' An absurdly dramatic sigh. 'Alas, we must find a new comic relief...'

'Anyway, that was not what I wanted to discuss with you. Do you know the flat I bought with the money uncle Alphard left me? Well, Andromeda went on a shopping-spree and decided to decorate it for me. Don't ask me why. Must be a very belated post-labour depression after-effect of sorts. Now, she got me this really huge bed and put several bookshelves in the living room. But I don't own that many books. So, I was wondering, in a few months, after Hogwarts, if you would... You know.'

Remus looks at the arch, in all its grandiose decadence. Dumbledore told him that some people could hear voices coming out of it. He holds his breath and tries to listen. After a while he lets it go with a hiss. Absurd! Voices coming out of an arch in serious need of repair. And maybe a new veil, too, instead of that moth-eaten rag.

Absurd.

'Absurd! This is an absurd! What the hell is happening, Remus? Why won't you talk to me? You don't even look at me anymore! Not even when you're fucking me!'

'Yes, fucking! Fucking! What do you want me to call it? Tender lovemaking? Hot nights of passion? It's just plain fucking!'

'Forget it! I'm going out, and I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.'

The door slams and suddenly the big bed is just too big.

Yes, definitely a new veil.

Remus knows it's getting late, and he must be going, because there are things to do, people to talk to. He really should check on the children. Hermione was badly hurt, and Ron is facing a difficult recovery. At least Harry's safe now.

Harry.

'Harry! That's Harry we're talking about! Don't you dare! There's not a person in this sodding Order able to hold me here while my godson is in danger. I'm not staying behind in this forsaken house. I'm going with you, even if it kills me!'

He throws his head back, laughing. The laughter echoes through the room, vibrating in the air, bouncing from wall to wall, until it hits him, hard, slaps him across his face -- the laughter, along with the reality of it all, and the absurdity of it all -- and Remus looks again at the arch and gives an almost bemused sigh.

Almost.

'Is that the best you can do?'

'Is that the best you can do, Sirius?'