Four Years

September 4, 1976

A sloppy-haired, hazel eyed boy walks with fierce steps forward. He forces his shoulders ahead of him, anchoring them with power and confidence. He tries to appear more muscular than he actually is, but little does he know the girl he is heading towards doesn't particularly like boys that do that.

He walks to the part of the table she is seated at, and he keeps his stride long as he does so. He is aiming to amaze her, and he wants to do it in just the right way.

She is easy to spot from the crowd and he notices her right away, her bright red hair sticking out like the sun on a summer's day. But even without the red hair, he would notice her. Because she is everything to her. She just doesn't know it yet.

He reaches the end of the lunch table. She is in deep conversation with her friends, her white teeth showing every time she smiles. And she has a gorgeous smile. Really she does.

His heart begins beating fiercely, while he tries to calm his nerves. Whenever he even goes near her, he has difficulty keeping his composure. That's why he's never had a real conversation with her before.

If only someone would talk about her with him. Sirius is never helpful with conversations about girls because he never is serious about his relationships. And Peter... well Peter is a special case. Peter is a good friend, but not one that James can talk to in confidence with. He needs someone else, but James and Peter are all that he has.

She turns towards him for a second. Her vibrant green eyes look up at him and catch his eye. Their eyes are locked and he grows nervous. He pushes his right hand through his unruly hair, flashes a smirk at her, and looks away.

As soon as he looks away, his face falls to a look of regret. His eyes drop to gaze at the ground, his smile falling flat. What is he thinking? And why can't he say anything to her?

The conversation between the four friends seems to die down for a second, but James tries not to pay attention as he walks away. He doesn't care. He can't care.

"Did you want something, Potter?" His face peeks up. His eyes brighten. It's her voice. And her voice saying his name. She knows his name. She knows him.

He looks at her. But what should he say? She actually is speaking to him, staring directly at him. This is his chance. This has to be it. "D-d-did we have a-a-any Potions homework?" he stutters. At least he found something to say. Some words came from his lips, and he thought they were mostly recognizable.

"That's all you wanted?" the angel asks.

"Yeah," he answers.

No. Not really.

"Can't you ask Black? Or that other friend of yours?"

"Oh yeah," he responds, a bit shaken up. That was a stupid thing to say.

He starts to walk away, ashamed of how he acted in front of her. He could never ask out Lily Evans. Not now. Not ever. What is his problem?

"Didn't you want to ask me something else?" she asks. So she does know. She probably has seen him staring at her one too many times. The rumours do spread easily in the school.

He turns again, facing her, trying to block out the gaggle of girls surrounding her. They all look intimidating.

"Like what?" he asks, annoyed that she can read him so well.

"You want to go on a date, right?" she finally asks. Her intuition has always been good.

Yes. Yes. Yes. He is relieved. She can read him. That is good. Good when he is so nervous.

But why does he say, "Ew... no way. Why would I want that?" before shrugging his should and walking off?

September 4, 1977

I don't understand it," James says, chewing as he spoke. "Why do girls like Lily Evans go out with boys like him?" James points outside the window of The Three Broomsticks, where the redhead he most certainly fancies walks hand-in-hand with a skinny boy of average height and sandy-yellow hair.

Sirius laughs, taking a bite, or rather a slurp of his soup. "Who is that kid anyways? I don't think I've ever seem him around."

"Lupin's boy," Peter answers on cue. "Remus, I think. He's a brainiac. Reads all the time and does all his work. They've been going out for several months."

James and Sirius both laugh again, James trying to guard the notion that he already knew that. The three continue to eat, slurping their soup and eating their sandwiches in massive bites, rather than small, delicate pieces.

"I thought you didn't like her." Sirius suddenly realizes. "Didn't you embarrass yourself in front of her last year?"

"I don't like her," James denies. "I think she's pretty. Too pretty for a guy like Lupin."

"Oh well," Sirius says. "At least it's not Snape anymore."

"I heard he's officially in line with You-Know-Who," Peter comments. "He got the mark a couple of days ago."

"I didn't think he wanted anything to do with him," James says, shifting his position. "Lily always bragged that he was a good Slytherin."

"That must have been where it went wrong," Sirius says. "It's been several months since their break-up. Lily was the only one keeping him away from the Dark Arts, and I bet he finally realized she was completely and utterly done with him."

"At least she can see his true colours now," James says. "She's got to realize that Snivellus is no good for her."

Peter and Sirius shake their heads in agreement, both wanting to comment more about the man, but knowing not to. Snape has been the victim of many of their pranks, which probably would have been their next topic of conversation, but does not come up today. Now that Snape is officially a Death Eater, they knew not to mess with him. Voldemort is on the rise and though the three Marauders are capable of a showdown against Snape, they are not ready to mess with Voldemort. Only Dumbledore could defeat him.

"Want to think of some prank against Lupin?" Peter finally speaks, sensing the fright between the group of friends, whom are usually at ease.

Sirius smiles briefly, but the flicker eventually fades from his face. James doesn't show any sign of happiness, ultimately being the one of the two to answer, "No, that's okay. There's more to worry about in life than pranks."

Peter has difficulty in believing that, though Sirius can sense his friend's thoughts. The times are a changing and not for the better. They will be out of school soon and they know a fight of an evil power is coming up. It is in the air. It is all around them. And it affects everyone, even the biggest pranksters of the school.

September 4, 1978

I'm ecstatic. It's actually going to happen. Me, the nerdy boy. I can't help but to think of those that I beat out.

Severus, the best mate from childhood. I didn't think they'd ever breakup, but something happened and later he turned bad. That was my lucky break.

But she also liked James at one point. I knew that, and I knew not to push my luck. But he screw it up too. He didn't go after her. For whatever reason, I don't know. Even she knew he liked her. It was so obvious. It was like something was holding her back. And I think it's because of me. She is destined for me.

I really believe it. I see her next to me at night and it just feels right. She lights up my world. Her smile can make me melt. However clichéd, it's true.

I've loved her since the day she asked me out. That day was magical.

She had been single for almost all of sixth year. She and Severus had broken up over the summer and James never took his opportunity with her. Sure, I liked her, but I was too nervous to do much more than talk and interact with her in Potions class and sometimes in Defense Against the Dark Arts. We did have several classes together because both of us had passed many O.W.L.S., but those classes were the smallest. Those were the classes that we had the biggest possibility to interact.

And we did.

There were only seven of us that passed O.W.L. Potions level at the end of sixth year. It was Lily, Severus, but he interacted only by himself, the Marauders, but they mostly paid attention to themselves, Julia Reynolds, another Ravenclaw, and me. Lily and I worked together most of the time. We were the only ones that worked relatively well together.

Potions wasn't my best subject, but it was Lily's. She always knew just how to mix everything so it came together perfectly. She wouldn't even follow the rules, creating her own spell of perfection.

Severus was like that too, but he was a little less perfect than she was. And with my extra help, we always created something better than Severus did.

But one day in Potions class, Lily asked me out. I don't think she was planning to, but it slipped out and I accepted.

It was the day we were working on the Draught of Peace and for some reason something was wrong with her that day. Even Slughorn's attempt at a special prize for the best potion didn't help her.

Severus was working by himself as usual, James and Sirius worked together, Peter and Julia worked together, and Lily and I worked together, going through the ingredients and gathering them together. Then, we added them according to the directions, but after a certain step it just didn't look right.

"What can't I do anything right today?" Lily complained and sighed, lowering the temperature of the flame out of frustration. I was sure at that point that something was definitely wrong with Lily, but I didn't want to pry into her life. I didn't know her well enough, even if we interacted most of the time in Potions class.

"Aren't we missing the hellebore?" I asked, realizing that was never an ingredient we brought over.

"Of course!" she said, delighted by the sudden epiphany I brought on for her. She ran over to the supplies, took the hellebore, and waited an extra minute for the potion to continue simmering. We were lucky that hellebore was the last ingredient to add, as the potion is very systematic and we would have been completely off if it was supposed to be put in earlier in the potion.

The minute passed and Lily put the syrup of hellebore in. Instantaneously, a silvery vapour appeared... the correct look for the potion.

"Wonderful!" Slughorn said, looking over Lily's shoulder at the perfect potion. A large smile appeared on Lily's face, though I just smiled on the inside. I didn't like to show my joy too much when I was in school. "That's perfect! Even Snape didn't get it correctly."

Lily's face erupted with even more cheer, her eyes eventually running over to Severus, whose arms were crossed. He stood in a sigh. "Take that, Sevvy!" she whispered, so that only I could hear.

"That's one of the best Draught of Peace potions I've ever seen. For brewing it correctly, I'll give you both a phial of your own potion. It should come in handy with finals coming up."

I rarely get to keep my own potion, and I planned on just keeping mine somewhere in my room, so I could look at it and see how well I had done. Lily, on the other hand, seemed to want to use hers.

"This is perfect," she said, taking a hold of the phial. "It's exactly what I need. I've been so stressed lately. At least this will calm me down. Thanks Remus."

It brightened my day to hear a compliment from Lily Evans. I really did like her at that point, and I blushed. "You're welcome," I said, now showing a smile.

At that point, a large explosion erupted from Sirius and James's table. Their potion was terrible as usual. Liquid poured out everywhere and it was a disaster. It was something that Slughorn easily cleaned up, but they still shouldn't have led their potion to that point. Those two were terrible.

The classroom cleared out quickly after the explosion, allowing us to be the only two left inside besides Slughorn. We began to gather our stuff when Lily said, "How'd you like to go out sometime, Remus? Like on a date?"

It was so easy for her to say. It came out so naturally and she seemed so assured of her words. I didn't want to see her upset again, and I was euphoric that she even asked, so I shyly answered, "I'd love that."

That day happened and neither of us ever looked back. We've never fought. We've never bickered. We're perfect together. But still, on the night before our wedding I can't help but to feel like the luckiest man in the world because Lily picked me.

September 4, 1979

A dark-haired young man sits upon a bar stool, his groggy grey eyes red and swollen. He slams the drink in front of him across the table, demanding more.

"And be generous in your portioning," he adds to his demand.

The young bartender nods his head, quite fearful of the man. He walked into the bar only about two hours ago, with a frightening grin and frantic pace. And when he sat down in the stool he currently occupies, it seemed as the sky turned completely dark outside. It began to rain and the thunder and lightening terrified the sky and the crowd outside. People began to fill inside the bar to avoid the bad weather, but just as soon as it was filled, it emptied. It seems as if the disgruntled man had some kind of effect on people. Every time someone stars upon his grey eyes, they have an urge to leave. And he doesn't even seem to notice the bar clearing out or the women and men leaving because of him. He just takes drink after drink from the bartender.

"What kind of place is this?" a semi-chubby man of about the same age of the disgruntled man walks into the bar and asks. "What are you doing here, Sirius?"

The bartender takes a deep breath, relieved that someone knows this man. He has been too much of a coward to ask him to leave, but at least now he has an ally. Hopefully this man, more likely young man can convince his friend to leave.

The dark-haired man grumbles. He picks up the refilled glass, grips it tightly, and pours it quickly into his throat, lackadaisically dripping portions all over his unevenly shaved beard that is beginning to cover his face all too much.

"That's enough, Sirius," the chubby man says, pulling the glass away from him as soon as Sirius puts it down.

The bartender, who has a tag displaying the name Aaron on his shirt, begins to become worried, thinking that Sirius is going to go at his friend for taking away the drink. Luckily, Sirius does not seem to care. Instead of fighting, he reaches out for his friend, trying to cling to him. The chubby man touches him and sits down next to him.

And within sections, the man by the name of Sirius begins to tear up. With the chubby man's touch of comfort, the tears flow down, touch upon the long dark strands of unevenly shaven hair that forms a newly grown beard and moustache. The tears well up and stick along his cheeks, his black hair, looking more grayish with the addition of tears.

"I failed him," Sirius whispers to his friend. "Whyyyyyy? Why Peter?" His words fail him, as he continues to cry, his breath labouring, causing him to eventually cough. Peter continues to comfort him as he does so, trying to answer his questions in the best way that he can.

"You couldn't do anything. No one could have."

"I could've stopped it. Don't tell me that I couldn't have done anything." The tears stop falling and his face turns to anger, his eyes turning intense, his left fist forming. "Dammit, I could have stopped this." He slams his fist down on the table, only causing Aaron to jump up, startled by the noise.

"Well, you can't do anything about it now." Peter begins to grow upset. The bartender can only deduce that Sirius is stubborn.

Peter reaches inside his pocket, eventually revealing a wooden stick only in the sight of the bartender, hidden from Sirius. He waves the stick, but doesn't say anything. Though as he does, Sirius seems to come into some type of trance, no longer particularly disturbed.

Aaron and Peter make eye contact, Peter coming to some sort of realization about the bartender's thoughts. Peter ushers Sirius out of the door before Aaron can comment about paying.

But as soon as Sirius is outside and looks away, Peter flickers his wand again, this time using words as he does so, "Avada Kedavra!"