Of Anguish Eternal

He grunted slightly as he strained to lift the heavy shovel and add the load of damp dirt to the growing mound behind him, welcoming the soreness and throbbing. He was no stranger to Pain, all he looked to do was get to know it better. Pain was something that could be manipulated, something that would always be by your side if you wished it to be. Pain would never leave you, never betray you. Pain would never act as your best friend for seven years and then ignore you. Pain couldn't raise you as her own child and pretend to love you for eighteen years and then deceive you. Pain wouldn't fall in love with you, seduce you, tempt you, and then leave you for your supposed best friend. Pain wouldn't, couldn't do any of that.

Of course, Pain also had its drawbacks; Pain wasn't always fun to have around, Pain couldn't kiss you, love you, hold you. But Pain was devoted and loyal; once you befriended it, it would always be there for you when you needed it. Of course, Pain could also be pushy; sometimes it intruded when you didn't really want it. But it was reliable, it was faithful. It was consistent and honest. Pain wouldn't change on you.

And now he would lie with Pain, lie with Pain forever. Be with his partner for the rest of his life and the whole of his death, be with it perpetually. Pain couldn't love you, but pain could be your lover- and no one else had a lover so eternal.

He brushed his hair out of his eyes and squinted into the grave he had dug. The night was black and he could not see well, but that was intended. It looked big enough- there only needed to be space for him, Pain, and Darkness. Dark was another thing he would lie with and get to know. Dark was also loyal, constant, consistent. Unlike capricious Light, who always had the potential to grow dim at any impulse, Dark was always Dark and always would be. Dark was a devoted follower as well, and he smiled as he thought of his forthcoming affair with Dark.

The earth was soft and crumbly, especially six feet lower, he noticed as he lowered himself into his grave. He stood in a corner and carefully positioned the knives he had brought, sticking them in blade-up in even intervals. Pain would fuck him good with those.

He prepared himself mentally for his marriage to Pain and his affair with Dark, his excitement increasing. His wedding night would last the rest of his life and beyond.

He checked the condition of the walls and smiled in contentment. Everything was going perfectly for a change. The dirt sides were crumbling already; by morning they would have collapsed entirely, and leave him privacy with Pain and Darkness. He would never have to fight Light again. He would never be alone again. He would never have to resist again; never be tempted with something he couldn't have. His relationships would never crumble, his lovers never leave.

His ecstasy would never end.

He fell on his knees and slowly leaned back, feeling the sharpened tips of the knives lightly scratch his back, barely enough to draw blood. Supporting himself by his hands on the sides of the grave, he lowered himself slowly, feeling the knives slice into his back.

Ron Weasley smiled through gritted teeth as Pain took over and took all of him; as Darkness overcame him; as his emotions, feelings, and senses became too intense to tolerate, he took it anyways, because everything was okay now.

He would never be alone; never have to be lonely.

He would never be betrayed again.