World's Smallest Violin

Chapter 8: Who is the Greater Fool

"You're still here," Draco observed, sitting down under the tree in the park.

"Since last Sunday?" Mallory replied, tossing a ball for the dog. "Actually, I left and came back a few times."

"Fascinating," Draco said, "and what did you have for lunch yesterday?" Ordinarily, he would never have bothered with this Muggle, but he was feeling buoyed by his recent unsettling of Nymphadora and longed to do the same to Mallory.

"Turkey on rye," Mallory replied, undaunted. "Have you had a bowel movement yet today?"

This was not quite the lead-in Draco had wanted, but he rallied and tried again.

"How do you stand living here?"

"That's a 'no,'" Mallory replied. "Why so superior?"

"Well, it's not like there's anything to do here," Draco persisted.

"Alright," Mallory responded, getting to her feet. "I don't know who you've been staying with, but clearly you've never been shown around by a local. Help me get a leash on Toby and I'll give you the tour."

Draco did not want a tour, he wanted to demonstrate his supremacy over this Muggle, but she never actually gave him the opportunity to refuse and Draco soon found himself involved in a complicated bait and switch to try and catch the dog. It only worked on the third try.

Mallory led the way down the street, away from the Tonks residence and turned at the first perpendicular street they came to.

"Have you remembered the name of your school yet?" she asked as they walked.

"Mortgenstern Academy," Draco improvised dully.

"Where's that?" Mallory pressed.

"Scotland."

"I've never heard of it. Not Scotland, Mortgenstern."

"I'd be surprised if you had."

"How do you like it?" Mallory asked.

"They let in too much of the riff-raff," Draco said.

"There you go being superior again." She put on a dopey voice. "My name's Draco. I'm named after a constellation and I live near Stonehenge, therefore I'm better than everybody else."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Fine," Mallory grumbled. "Now to your left and right you'll see several shops. This is in fact the smallest of three shopping areas in town. The secondary school is nearby, so the students like to come here and use the alleys as a place to snog. If you keep your eyes peeled you just might see them. And we're walking."

"Which school are you going to?" Draco asked.

"The University of Melbourne."

That brought him up short.

"Wait, in Australia?"

"No, Melbourne, Russia."

"Why would you want to go to Australia?"

"I want to learn how to surf. All the government buildings are just over there, the library too. We could go inside if you like. There's also a small local museum around here somewhere."

"Don't change the subject," Draco interrupted. "If you want to learn how to surf, you go to Australia on holiday, not for school. It sounds like there's something here you want to get away from."

"I'm studying coral reef ecology," Mallory replied. "There's a pretty big one near Australia, you may have heard of it."

"Why didn't you want to tell me that?"

"You don't know me very well. I don't care if you know what I'm studying. Now do you want to find out where the cinema is or not?"

"Not really." Muggle movies held no interest for him.

"Why don't we stop for a coffee, then," Mallory suggested.

Draco readily agreed, since it afforded him the opportunity to continue questioning her.

"Great," Mallory said, leading the way to the nearest café, a small place at the end of the line of shops. It was deserted except for them and a few waitstaff. "You can buy."

"Why's that?" Draco demanded. "This is not a date."

"'Course it's not, you're far too irritating," Mallory replied. "We probably should have discussed my tour guide's fee beforehand."

They took seats on the patio of the café and ordered their drinks. Mallory looped the dog's leash around her chair leg and commanded him to lie down and stay that way, so he took the opportunity to investigate everything within the radius allowed by the tether.

"Wonder how long it'll be before they kick us out because of him," Mallory grumbled, raising an eyebrow at the dog.

"So," prompted Draco. "Any reasons you wanted to leave England besides the surfing and the coral reefs."

"Person can't just decide she wants to see the world? Learn new languages, that sort of thing?"

"You're traveling to an English-speaking country to learn new languages? Now I know you're lying."

"New cultures, then."

"Do you believe in fate?" Draco asked.

"No, the entire idea is silly," Mallory replied. "Why? I thought you said this wasn't a date."

"What if I told you that there is a very good reason why a person like you should want to leave the country?"

"Then I would ask you what that reason is, how you know it, and what you mean by 'a person like me.'"

"No, no, I've already said too much."

"You're full of it," Mallory replied.

Their drinks arrived and Draco took a sip of his.

"Am I?" he asked, beginning to enjoy this conversation. "You don't feel a sense of foreboding? The war's already started."

"Oh, now I get it," Mallory said. "You're a nut job. You hid it well, but you laid it on just a little too think right at the end there. So when is the world going to end this time?"

"No, I'm serious," Draco protested.

"I'm sure," Mallory replied. "So are you going to try and sell me something next, because you may have noticed that I'm a little tight on funds at the moment."

The dog started growling at something and Mallory tugged on his leash, but he ignored her and continued.

"I'm not trying to sell you anything."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"I just want to find out why you're going to Australia."

"Why do you care," Mallory demanded. "And what is wrong with this dog? Somewhere around here there is a squirrel that is far too cheeky for his own good."

She turned to look in the direction that had Toby's attention and asked, "Someone you know?"

There was a figure, lumbering down the sidewalk, still too far away to distinguish.

"No, why?" Draco muttered, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Because he seems to be heading right for us."

"How can you tell?" The man was moving their direction, but to Draco's eye there was a stiff legged aimlessness to his gait, and the fact that they were the only other people in the area did not mean that he was specifically coming toward them.

The dog gave one bark and then was silent.

"He looks like he might be sick or something," Mallory said, watching the figure approach. "And is he wearing a suit?"

That detail actually did sound ominous.

"You know that sense of foreboding I mentioned?"

"What about it?"

"You're saying you don't feel it?"

"I think he needs help," Mallory said, and she stood, untangled the dog's leash, and set off.

"I think you need your sense of self preservation examined," Draco muttered, but he placed his ten-note on the table and followed.

As they approached, it became clear that the man was sick, but also that he was quite beyond help. With effort, Draco managed to dredge the name up from his memory.

"Inferius."

"Gesundheit."

"That's what it's called. It's a reanimated corpse."

"It's a zombie?" Mallory yelped, backing up two steps so she was level with Draco and the dog.

"Inferius."

"I prefer zombie." There was a definite edge to her voice now.

"I guess there's not much to worry about with just one of them," Draco admitted. They all backed up a step as the Inferius continued lumbering toward them. "It's when you get a bunch of them together that they can really cause trouble."

"I'm fairly certain I'm not asleep, so I think there's plenty to worry about," Mallory said. "For instance, how the hell does a corpse get reanimated in real life?"

That question did bear some consideration. Obviously, whoever sent it did not realize he was here, because the Death Eaters would not send an Inferius to menace the son of one of their own and everyone else was too morally superior to consider creating Inferi.

"Maybe Nymphadora's been more of a nuisance than I thought."

"Who?"

"My cousin, I'm staying with her parents."

"That's an odd name."

"I know," Draco snorted.

They took another step backwards.

"Fair warning," Mallory said. "If it comes down to it, I'm definitely going to trip you."

"Same."

"I'm glad we're in agreement. Toby's off limits, by the way."

"Why's that?"

"Have you ever tried tripping a dog? They have four legs."

Another step backwards.

"Are we going to try and do something about this or what?" Mallory asked.

"Us try and do something!" Draco demanded.

"You just said there was nothing scary about one zombie!"

"Argh!" they both shouted in surprise and alarm as they took a step and bumped into something that gave way behind them. Neither needed to turn and look to know that it was another Inferius, instead they turned and ran, eventually regrouping on the opposite side of the street.

Mallory was doing a convincing impression of a dog chasing its tail, trying to brush off her clothes where they had touched the Inferius.

"It was cold!" she protested, sounding sick.

Draco was struggling to get his heart rate and breathing under control and he tried and failed to repress a shudder at the reminder. As he watched, a third Inferius appeared near the café.

"What are they doing here?" he wondered aloud.

"Not the question I would ask at this particular juncture," Mallory said. "Come this way," she added, leading the way down the sidewalk.

"My Aunt and Uncle's house is back that way," Draco argued.

"So is the town graveyard and the mortuary," Mallory countered, grabbing him by the sleeve. "And the police station is this way."

"I'm sure the proper authorities already know what's going on," Draco said.

"I don't hear any sirens, do you?" Mallory asked, giving his arm another tug, and Draco allowed himself to be pulled along because it had just occurred to him that perhaps he ought to be concerned about what might happen if a team of Aurors turned up and found him there. He was only just beginning to recognize the strangeness of his predicament: wandless and in the company of a Muggle in an unfamiliar town, being menaced by a horde of at least four Inferi. The entire situation made him feel somehow left handed, like he was trying to do everything backwards.

"How many people around here have died recently?" Draco asked. He realized that he was being led along rather like the dog and shook his arm out of Mallory's grip.

"That depends on what you mean by 'recently' and 'around here,'" Mallory replied.

"I don't know," Draco said.

"Can't be many, anyway, this isn't a very big town."

"More or less than seven?" Draco pressed, glancing backward.

"Maybe there was a bad pileup on the motorway," Mallory suggested, sounding unconvinced. "What'll they do if they catch up with us?"

"How should I know?"

"You don't seem to find their existence impossible and you claim to know what they're called," Mallory pointed out. "Will they try and infect us? Eat our brains? What?"

"They'll probably just rip us apart," Draco guessed. "I suppose it depends on..." On the intentions of the person who reanimated them, was what he almost said. "Why are they still following us?" he grumbled instead.

"They're not very selective at your school, are they?" Mallory replied.

"What?"

"We're the only people around, and you're an idiot."

"Is that so?" Draco demanded, deciding that he had heard just about enough of Mallory's insults.

"That's alright, I am too," she replied.

Surprised, Draco turned his attention from the Inferi to Mallory and found her hovering uncertainly at the edge of the sidewalk, staring to the left down a cross street.

"Bugger," she muttered after a few moments of this, and set off to the right.

"What?" Draco asked, following.

"The police station is back that way," Mallory replied, gesturing behind them.

"I thought you said you wanted to go there."

"I do, but its three blocks from here and there's bound to be more people along the way, the largest shopping center is between us and the police station. The house I'm watching isn't far, we can call from there."

"It's still just the same seven following us," Draco said, taking a glance behind them.

"There's a piece of good news," Mallory replied, and then she added," this is ridiculous, what's going on?"

They reached the house under Mallory's care without serious incident. What few people they encountered cleared out of the way without much convincing. Inside, Mallory directed Draco to check the doors and windows while she made for the phone.

After completing his task, Draco settled himself in at a window overlooking the front of the house to watch the Inferi amble around the lawn. He was startled by a clanking noise but found that it was only the dog pushing a metal bowl around, more interested in his next meal than the situation outside. A few minutes later, Mallory joined Draco at the window.

"That didn't go well," she muttered. "The operator thought it was a prank. He talked to me like I was ten and told me how much trouble I could get in for calling emergency services when there's no emergency. I probably should have said there was an axe murderer or something instead."

"So no one's coming," Draco inferred.

"A stuffed bear to the kid from Stonehenge," Mallory grumbled. She walked away and started banging around the house, noisily opening and closing doors and cabinets. Draco remained at the window, cultivating an air of one driven to careful consideration and planning over thoughtless action in times of crisis. In truth, though, every idea he had ended with the fact that his wand was locked in a box in the Tonks house.

Mallory startled Draco out of his wandering thoughts by shoving a golf club into his hands. He had not realized that Muggles played golf.

"What's this for?" Draco asked, examining his club and another one that Mallory had kept for herself.

"Bashing their heads in," Mallory replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Not a chance."

"Suit yourself," Mallory said and made for the door. "I'm going to try and put an end to this before they get bored with us and go find someone with less sense."

"You're the one who hasn't got any sense," Draco exclaimed, unsure why he felt so strongly about this. "Someone will come, we just have to wait."

"They've had plenty of time," Mallory replied at the same volume, holding out her arms, and, inwardly, Draco knew she was right.

"Wait," Draco said, stopping Mallory with her hand on the doorknob. "If we make it out of this, I don't ever want to see you again."

"That goes double for you," Mallory said. "And one other thing. Have you really never met anyone who wants to go away just to see what it's like to not be here?"

"I guess not."

"You shouldn't ask questions you think you already know the answer to," Mallory said, and with that she threw open the door and charged outside.

Draco shut the door behind her, and then returned to the window to watch. Mallory was rushing at the nearest Inferius, poised to strike, when several people appeared from nowhere. Faster than Draco could think, one of them sent a spell at Mallory. She stopped and swayed on her feet, golf club still half-heartedly swung over her shoulder, her purpose erased along with her recent memories. The witches and wizards, who Draco now recognized as Unspeakables, set about gathering up the Inferi and Mallory still stood among them, empty-headed and confused. Draco was struck by something like pity and the urge to at least help her inside, but wandless and dressed in Muggle clothes, he knew that he would have his own memory erased the second an Unspeakable saw him.

With nothing left to do, Draco crossed to the back door, intending to sneak back to the Tonks' house, but as he was leaving he spotted Toby, lying on a pillow on the floor and gazing despondently across the room at his empty food dish. With a sigh, Draco released the doorknob. After a brief search, he found a bag of dog food and filled the bowl then, in a show of thoughtfulness that surprised even him, changed the water in the dish. Then Draco left.

=====

That evening, Draco finally broke down and knocked on the door to Ted's study.

"No need to knock dear," came the call from within.

Draco rolled his eyes and entered.

"Draco!" Ted exclaimed. "This is a surprise. What can I do for you?"

Draco choked on his words, cleared his throat, and said, "Nymphadora said you're good at Ancient Runes?"

"Well, I don't like to brag," Ted replied.

"I can't make sense of this assignment," Draco said, holding up the undecipherable text and his abandoned translation. "Half the words don't make sense and the rest are in the wrong order."

"Alright, let's see what we've got." Ted took the page of runes, looked it over, and chuckled. "Good old Dr. Seuss. Professor Babbling does like her jokes."

"It's a joke?" Draco demanded, annoyed.

"It's a poem full of nonsense words," Ted explained. "No wonder you're having trouble. Professor Babbling also likes to make sure her N.E.W.T. students are truly dedicated, or resourceful."

"How am I supposed to translate a made up word?" Draco pouted.

"You're meant to work it out phonetically," Ted replied. "I probably shouldn't show you this, but..." He stood and left the room, returning with a bright red book, which he handed to Draco. It was titled If I Ran the Zoo and had an unidentifiable creature drawn on the front. Draco opened the book and read a few lines that were actually somewhat similar to his own labored translation of the runes.

"Has this been in Nymphadora's room all summer?" he asked.

"I'm afraid so," Ted replied.

Draco groaned in frustration and made to leave with his newfound solution, but at the door he hesitated and turned back.

"What do you mean by 'work it out phonetically'?"

"Grab a chair from the kitchen," Ted invited. "Let's see what we can make of this."