To the Moon

Authors Notes: This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but someone suggested I write a second chapter, and I had these ideas floating around in my head. So - here you go!

The house is too quiet.

It's something I still haven't gotten used to. When Dora was here, she was always making some sort of noise, whether she was just humming quietly to herself, or singing to Teddy, or even falling over something, there was always some sort of constant noise.

The house seemed more alive then. Since it happened, I've noticed a sort of loss about the house, as if some of its life left it the day she...

I still can't say it. Even in my head. I keep thinking she's going to walk through the door, smiling, with that pink hair of hers, and fall over the umbrella stand in the hallway.

Except that she's not.

And that's something that I just can't accept.

I shake my head and look down at my son. He's rolling around on a blanket on the floor, grasping for a toy just out of his reach to his left. I bend down and push it closer to him. He gives a delighted squeal and his chubby hands close over it, shaking it vigorously.

I sigh and return to my chair.

I've been out of the hospital for two weeks, and I still don't feel any better. I just feel numb, detached from everything. Including my son.

I thought the night Andromeda made me go to Teddy had helped me turn a corner. But the next morning, when I woke up, I felt exactly as I had the day before.

I'm don't know what to do to make myself feel better.

The most disturbing thing of all is that I'm not sure I want to make myself feel better. I just want Dora. I want her here. Now.

A knock on the door interrupts my destructive train of thought. Teddy shrieks in delight and tries to crawl towards the door - a grieving father isn't much company for him.

I sigh and bend down, haul him into my arms, grab my walking stick, and head for the door.

The person knocks again, and I quicken my pace.

"I'm coming!" I call, throwing open the door. Then I blink. "Harry?"

Harry stands at the door, taller than I remember. He smiles.

"Remus! How are you?"

"Harry?" I repeat again. He nods, his smile fading. "What are you doing here?"

"Came by to see my godson," Harry says, hitching the smile back onto his face and stepping over the threshold, even though I haven't invited him in. Before I know it, he's got Teddy in his arms, and he's heading for the kitchen.

"Cuppa?" he calls over his shoulder.

I'm still standing at the front door, frozen.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Australia?" I ask, slowly closing the front door and moving back to my chair in the living room.

"Hermione managed to find her parents," Harry says from the kitchen. I can see from my chair that he's got Teddy in his highchair, and he himself is bustling around the kitchen. "So I've come back. Ron and Hermione don't need me now."

I just nod and lean my head against the back of the sofa, my eyes closed. "I'm sure you have better - and more important - things to do than visit me."

"Don't be stupid." Harry wrinkles his nose at Teddy, who starts laughing in delight. "You got any milk?"

I shrug. "Only baby formula."

Harry's silent for a moment. "Where's Andromeda?"

"Gone to visit some relatives in Ireland."

"How many days has she been gone?" Harry asks, pouring hot water into two mugs.

I shrug again. "A week. Maybe more. Why?"

"Is she still living with you?"

I pause. "No. I can manage quite well on my own."

"Is that why there's no food in the house?"

I feel a slight irritation niggle at me. "There's plenty of food."

"Baby food," Harry replies. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't strike me as the type of guy that eats baby food, Remus."

I sigh, closing my eyes again. "Sometimes you're too much like Sirius for your own good. He was a smart arse, too."

Harry ignores this comment. "Have you fed Teddy yet?"

My eyes fly open. "I hope you're not suggesting that I don't look after my son, Harry."

"Of course not," says Harry calmly. "It was just that if you hadn't, I wouldn't have minded giving it a go."

"Well, it's already done."

"Fine." Harry lifts Teddy out of his highchair and grabs his wand, levitating the cups in front of him, and out of Teddy's reach. Teddy reaches up and grabs Harry's messy hair, giggling mischievously, and Harry winces.

"He's just started doing that," I say flatly.

Harry directs the cups to the living room table and then places Teddy on the floor, where he's immediately involved in his colourful toys. Harry then straightens and takes a seat, grabbing a cup from the table and taking a sip. Then, giving me a look, he reaches forward and hands the other cup to me.

I sigh. "Thankyou," I say, accepting the cup.

There's a slight pause.

"How's your leg?" Harry asks, gesturing to my walking stick. I shrug.

"I should be able to get rid of the cane in a couple of weeks."

Harry nods and opens his mouth to reply, when suddenly we hear soft snoring noises. Looking down, I realise Teddy's fallen asleep on the floor, his thumb stuck in his mouth, tiny baby snores emanating from his mouth. Harry smiles. I bend down to gather him up, but Harry holds out a hand.

"Here. Let me."

He picks Teddy up gently and carries him into his bedroom. I reflect silently on how puzzling it is that Harry knows where Teddy's bedroom is, even though he's never been in the house before.

Harry reappears after a few minutes, grinning. "I didn't know babies could fall asleep that fast," he says, returning to his chair.

"It'll be all the food he just ate."

"When was the last time you ate, Remus?" Harry asks, leaning back and giving me a look reminiscent of the glares James used to give me when I was being stubborn.

"Please don't try to fuss over me, Harry," I say.

Harry frowns. "Then maybe you should start taking care of yourself," he observes sternly. "You look like hell."

I give him a look. "I'm fine."

"You're lying. I only saw you two weeks ago. Have you stopped eating? Because you've lost a lot weight for someone who's 'fine.'"

"Give it a rest, would you please?" I frown, putting my cup on the table. Harry leans forward.

"I won't give it a rest."

"Were you here?" I suddenly ask.

A funny closed look comes over Harry's face. "What?"

"Were you here while I was in hospital?" I ask again.

Harry hesitates, and then nods. "Yes."

"You helped Molly and Arthur clean up?"

"Yes."

I nod. "Oh."

So Harry helped them to de-Dora my house. I shouldn't be surprised.

"Anyway," I say, trying to change the awkward subject. "No one's actually told me the fully story of what went on after I was...injured." I pause and try not to reflect. "What happened?"

Harry fulls me in briefly about the battle. When he gets to the part about the Hallows, a thought occurs to me. A thought that makes me freeze.

"Very well done," I say, my heart pounding. "Well done, indeed. Especially discovering the Hallows."

I can feel Harry watching me, as if he knows what I'm thinking. "Yeah," he says slowly. "It was all Hermione's idea, really."

"Of course it was." I pick up my mug and hold it in both trembling hands. "So - is what they say true? About the three Hallows?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asks, confused.

"Well, I know that you have the Elder Wand. And James had the Invisibility Cloak, which is now yours." I pause, looking deep into my cup. "Is - is the last Hallow true? The resurrection stone?"

I can feel Harry's eyes boring into me. "Yes," he says eventually. "It's true."

"Oh?" I raise my eyes, my heart beating furiously, and try to ignore the pitying look in his eyes. "And - where is it?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know," Harry repeats. "I dropped it in the Forbidden Forest. It could be anywhere by now."

He's lying to me. I can tell.

"Are - are you sure?" I ask calmly. Harry nods.

"I dropped it," he says. "And I didn't go back to retrieve it after the battle."

"Why not?"

"It's too dangerous."

"Dangerous?" I finally look into his eyes. "What's so dangerous about wanting a loved one back?"

Harry hesitates. "Remus...is this about - "

"Don't say her name!" I stand up quickly, my leg twinging in protest.

Harry looks horrified as I limp to the window. "Where's the stone?" I demand.

"I don't know!" Harry says, standing also.

"Liar!" I turn furiously. "I gave up everything for this war! Now I want something back! Tell me where it is!"

Harry approaches me. "Why do you want the stone?"

I remain silent.

"Nothing will bring her back, Remus," says Harry, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No!" I shrug his hand off my shoulder. "You don't know that!"

"Yes I do!" he says. "I do know! The resurrection stone is useless! It just disturbs those who are at peace!"

"Peace!" I scoff. "Who could be at peace when they've left a husband and son behind!"

"It's no good, Remus!" Harry shouts. "She's not coming back!"

"How dare you talk to me like this!"

"You need to be talked to like this!" Harry exclaims. "Look at you! You've given up!"

"Given up what?" I demand. "What's left to give up? The war took everything I cared about!"

"Not everything," says Harry softly. I laugh bitterly.

"What - my son? Who, whenever I look at him, reminds me of his mother so much that it hurts to breathe?"

Harry stares at me as if he's never seen me before. "Maybe we should sit down and talk..."

"No!" I grab the front of his shirt. "You used the stone, Harry! You know what it's capable of! Now - where is it!"

Harry just continues to look at me sadly. "You need to talk to someone."

"I don't need to talk to anyone," I say bitterly, throwing myself into a chair. "All I need is for you to tell me where the stone is, dammit!"

There's a lengthy silence as Harry remains frozen by the window. Then he approaches my side silently, and leans down next to me.

"This isn't you, Remus," he says softly. "I know it's not."

I smile humourlessly. "I don't know who I am anymore. The war's over for everyone else. Not for me. My life ended the day my wife died."

Harry reaches into his pocket and hands me something.

"Here," he says. "She's very good. Think about going to speak to her."

I don't even look at the card. I just stare silently ahead.

Harry nods and moves to the door. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Really, there's no need," I say woodenly from my chair.

Harry pauses at the door. "Yes - there is." He goes to turn the doorknob, but suddenly pauses. "If Tonks were here, do you think she'd want to be doing this? Think about that."

"If she were here, I wouldn't be doing it!" I yell at him, but he's already gone.

I close my eyes and lean back against the couch, my heart beating furiously. I know Dora wouldn't want me to be like this...

I miss her so much...

As if in a dream, I get up from the couch and limp to the fireplace. I'm just throwing some floo powder into the fire when the front door opens. I turn to see Andromeda shuffling through the door. When she catches sight of me, her eyes widen.

"Remus - what's happened to you?"

I look down at myself, and for the first time I realise just how thin I've gotten.

"I'm not fine." I say dully.

"No, you're not."

I hold out the card and Andromeda approaches.

"What are you doing?" Her eyes flicker downwards and she reads the card quickly. Then she looks up, her eyes filled with tears. She nods and puts an arm on my shoulder as I turn back to the fire, my face set.

"Getting some help." I say quietly.

Authors Notes: Well - what did you think? As always, please let me know! Who knows - I might get a compulsion to write another chapter if this one doesn't suck. So - review! *grins*